Very little annoys me more than the do gooder fraternity and people who try too hard to be politically correct. Cases around my neck of the woods recently included the council directive that required all photos and ornaments of pigs to be removed from council buildings because of possible upset they may cause to the Muslim community, we are talking inn0cent things here by the way like piggy banks and soft toys on employees desks. How bloody stupid when you can go up the high street and see pig carcasses hanging in the butchers window.

I read in the news today about a group of protesters who stripped naked and lay on some steps to protest about bearskins being used by the guards outside Her Majesty's residence, a noble cause maybe but apparantly the bearskins in question come from already dead bears so what the hell difference do these people intend to make? Perhaps the foxhunters should have been called to disperse them, now that would have made a good story. Naked tree huggers running down Horseguards Parade to the shouts of "Tally Ho" and the sound of hunting horns. Not that I agree with foxhunting you understand but that was yet another example of do gooder mentality, now the foxes are just shot instead, at least before they had a chance of getting away.

This brings me to the next story. Our children are set to be weighed and measured when they arrive at school to determine if they are obese and, if they fall outside government guidelines a letter will be sent to parents warning of the danger of their condition. What will it say ? Your child has obviously been eating all the pies and is now a fat git and a disgrace to society. The politically correct brigade will have a field day on this one whichever bandwagon they choose to jump on. Perhaps they will back it wholeheartedly and turn up naked outside the fatties houses or return to London burning their underwear claiming it is a breach of the metabolically and hormonely challenged rights.

This rant was actually brought on by my son who told me that there was no longer any salt allowed on the dinner tables at school, it's deemed unhealthy so they have banned it. There is now a blackmarket appearing in the dinner hall, kids passing Mcdonalds salt sachets around under the tables and the like. I have provided my son with a small bag of salt which he carries around in his pocket. I am now awaiting a call from the school:- "Mr Heal? Yes. Sorry but your son has been caught with a bag of white granules in his pocket. The police have been called. Could you come down at once please?"

TALLY HO.