"It was a really solid effort by our guys," said captain Tom Marks. "We caught the ball, we made tackles and, oh yeah, we ripped the hearts out of the other team and took a dump in the cavity that remained. All in all, everyone had fun."
Tom Marks Sr. was automatic QB, ensuring a high-scoring affair. Yet the game didn't start out that way, with several turnovers early, most of them freak accidents.
The first was a turnover on downs for J-Dog's team. After a 13 yard punt by Crooney, T-Dog's team scored to take a 21-7. Next to follow were two successive drives of interceptions, as Plank Lindy-hopped and picked a pass of the back of Handyside. The next series, Handyside would get his revenge, picking off a tipped pass in the endzone, saving a touchdown.
The teams traded scores, keeping it close at 28-14.
What then followed was a blown flea-flicker play, where Crooney's pitch back to Mr. Marks was thrown into the hands of a blitzing Kevin Dolan.
"He came in so fast! It was like he was away from something, running for his life!" said Roonz.
Dolan was married two days later.
T-Dog's team found the endzone on the next play with a diving catch from Lil' Roonz, making the score an insurmountable 35-14. They never looked back.
The deep threats of Dolan, Pat and Marks were too much for J-Dog's team to handle, when balanced with the strong ground game provided by Plank. On defense Shmeelz made everyone who went over the middle pay with rock solid tackling.
J-Dog's team was plagued by dropped passes most of the day, but made up for it with frequent deep bombs to J-Dog and Durand The only other turnover came late in the game, when J-Dog threw a pass to a wide-open Dolan on a halfback option.
"He was wide open Jamie," reasoned Hoose, "because he isn't on our team!"
The surprise announcement of Tom "Mr." Marks Sr. coming out of retirement a mere week before the Jam sent shockwaves through the Concern, with many accusing the T-Dog of withholding this information from J-Dog and stacking his team with "speed" receivers.
However, it was later confirmed that J-Dog was aware of the possibility of Mr. Marks playing the night of the draft, and felt pressure to draft Hoose first in an attempt to cover up the fact that he hooked up with a man-beast earlier in the week. This ploy failed.
After the game, there was much rejoicing and drinking of mead. For the first time in history, the Theismann trophy was award to co-recipients Tom Marks and Pat Rooney. The point was rendered moot however, as Plank left the trophy in the SNMFC Hall of Fame Museum (his closet), along with his check for fantasy football.
