Prior to Nuptial Nightmare II:
The Green Mountain Massacre
Date: Fri, 06
Sep 2002 14:11:56 -0400
Subject: Look for This on ESPN...
From: Tom Marks
Countdown to SNMFC Nuptial Nightmare II: Green Mountain Massacre
Kickoff
38:21:48:32
(That's Days:Hours:Minutes:Seconds)
Healthy Training,
T-Dog
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: A Call to Arms...and legs.
Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 15:26:49 -0700
There are but 42 full training days left to prepare for Nuptial
Nightmare II: Green Mountain Massacre.
As many, probably all, of you know, Nuptial Nightmare II will feature
the entire SNMFC together on one team, for the first time ever, taking on a
group of the groom’s college friends.
Of the group, I have met just a few, and it was some years back, but I
would have to wager that they, unlike a few SNMFC players, have lifted weights
heavier than 40oz, and have run for reasons other than evading police capture
or the pursuit of an Ice Cream truck.
It is for this reason that I that I stand before you (seated actually) to
implore you to prepare yourself mentally and physically for what will no doubt
be the defining moment for the Southern New Milford Football Concern. In order to prepare for this contest, I have
been running the stairs of the palisade in Santa Monica. (In hiked-up tube socks and dolphin
shorts, just to be consistent with the beachside training montage from Rocky
III)
A victory will cement our place in the
pick-up-football circuit pantheon. A
defeat will prove so crushing, so demoralizing, that the SNMFC may never
recover. Suddenly, we’ll be talking
about putting Giblet Jam “on hiatus”.
Our trash talking will be rendered meaningless, as a beating at the GMM
will rob us of our collective mojo.
Soon, we wont be able to make it into New Milford on any of the major
holidays. Two years from now we won’t
even be friends. I have actually
developed a formula for determining the impact of losing this game. Take the impact that losing the 2000 Subway
Series had on the New York Mets franchise, now multiply it by the destructive
impact of the introduction of Ted McGinley upon any successful television
series. That’s how devastating a loss
in the Green Mountain Massacre is going to be.
Perhaps I
have insulted a few of you in this email.
Good, now use it. For, if I am
to be defeated on October 25, it will not be the result of a lack of
preparation. (It will be because I
am uncoordinated and can’t run particularly fast.) So I ask you as teammates, as men, as sons of an unrecognized
municipality known as Southern New Milford, to put down that pack of
Marlboros! Put down that remote
control! Put down that can of High
Life…HEY, use a coaster dumbass! Wait,
where was I? Oh yeah, rise up off of
your asses and get ready to fight to the death to defend the SNMFC!
By the
way: I am will land in Burlington on
Thursday morning. (I am not going to
risk jet lag for the game) I need
somebody to pick me up. I also need a
roommate for the night before and night of the wedding. If it’s Jamie, I will need payment in
advance.
Jeff Hoose
Date: Fri, 13
Sep 2002 13:26:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: A
Call to Arms...and legs. Also we have a forum.
I agree whole-heartedly with Hoose. I hope to bust out the
game tokens and kick it old skool DDR-style
(to the extreme!)
While the opportunity to mass-email SNMFC members has arisen, I'd
like to take this opportunity to mention that in anticipation of SNMFC.com
going active mid-next-week, I have set up the beta "official SNMFC
forum" at TWC. Here's how it works...
You can sign up here:
http://www.topwebcomics.com/forums/register.php?s=&action=signup
You can get there here:
http://www.topwebcomics.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=160
Please excuse the fact it still says Staccato on top and is all
blue and crap. I'll get on that post haste.
Anyway, let me know if you have any questions/problems!
Later!
- Shinemaster-S
Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2002 07:04:21 -0700
(PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: SNMFC.com Yo
Man, you forget to tell everyone that a beta test of SNMFC.com is
online!
Uh.. a beta test of SNMFC.com is online... http://www.snmfc.com
- Shawn
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: Moonshine in Vermont
Date: Thu, 26 Sep 2002 16:53:13 -0700
First and foremost, I feel I speak on behalf of the western United
States by expressing relief that Mike Shemeley is still alive. I come
before you today to mooch favors and pitch zany schemes!
Good news: In an effort to avoid a jet-lagged performance in
NN2 the GMM, I am landing in Vermont on Thursday. I am spending Thursday
night at a HoJo's near the Burlington Airport. I plan to spend a quiet
night resting before the SNMFC invades Middlebury. My former roommate
went to St. Michael's
College, and she gave me the lowdown on where to go in Burlington.
Bad news: All these places are bars. Suddenly my plans
to responsibly prepare for the game are in serious jeopardy.
Really Bad News: I recently learned Lucente lands in
Burlington minutes later. Vegas officially sets the odds for a hung-over
SNMFC side at 2:3.
Where you come in: We need a ride from Burlington. Can
anybody help?
Matter of Importance: I think I speak for more than a few of
us when I say that I plan on emphatically breaking training after the
game. Operating a motor vehicle, or for that matter, the button and
zipper on the front of my pants will probably be out of the question the
weekend of the 26th. I think we owe it to the motorists of Vermont to
establish a designated driver system on this weekend. Is anybody up to
the task? (Throat Clearing) How many drivers do we have? How
many boozers do we have? If the numbers add up lopsided, (I am thinking
something in the vicinity of 1-6), we will have to arrange for a different
plan. Perhaps those of us drinking could pitch in and rent a van for the
weekend. Always thinking of a better alternative, I decided to mooch off
of the folks. Since they are going to the wedding, I asked Mom if she
could make the trek up to VT in their van. (Now paneling free!) She
agreed, under the condition that she would swap wheels with the DD. This
is a necessary clause, since Maugh and Paugh are staying at some
snooty Middlebury Joint, while the rest of us are livin' it up at
the soon-to-be relatively famous Rutland Econo Lodge. It would save us
some coin on renting a bigger ride while ensuring we can all have a good time
followed by a safer, albeit less sporting 24 mile ride back to Rutland.
Give me some feedback.
Jeff The Entertainer
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Moonshine in Vermont
Date: Thu, 26 Sep 2002 20:32:50 -0400
Hey again,
In the world of stupid ideas, there is a king, and his name
is Mike Shemeley. As it stands now, for this football/wedding thing in
the land of cows, I think I'm taking off Friday and Saturday from work.
So maybe I should just drive to Middlebury after work Thursday. I should
find out how long a drive that is. According to the invite Tom sent, MHT
to Middlebury is 3 hours. So I could be at a hotel by midnight or
so. And I may head back Sunday morning and go straight to work.
Which would allow for a little post wedding drinking time (tho I prolly won't
imbibe even half of what I had for Durands wedding in that case). So I
should look into finding a room for those times...was anyone else interested in
splitting one...as this was mentioned a few months ago. I dunno if I'll
volunteer to drive...but if I do plan on showing up for work...I may just have
to do that. And if anyone is going thru Manchester Airport, I'll be happy
to go thru your stuff. So to answer your question, I don't know.
Well, peace out y'all.
Mike
Date: Wed, 02
Oct 2002 14:48:03 -0400
Subject: Nuptial Nightmare Weekend (aka Tom's wedding)
From: Tom Marks
I hope you are all far enough along in your training programs that
your 40 times are down to 10 seconds. And by "40 time" I am
referring to your times in a 40-yard dash, not seconds require to pound an
inordinate amount of malt liquor.
As people begin to square away their travel arrangements, I wanted
to toss out a few times crucial to the weekend.
Thursday Night, 9pm: A group of my sweater-wearing, pipe-smoking
college friends and I will be heading out to the local bar in Middlebury,
Angela's pub. Good bar, $2 IceHouse drafts on Thursday. That is,
unless things have changed in the past two years.
Friday, High Noon: If you don't know by now, don't even bother
coming.
Saturday, 6am: One last mad-dash of freedom. Golf at the
Middlebury Golf course. We'll probably only have time to get in
nine. Well, I will. But anyone who's interested can play 18.
Saturday 8:30am: After getting out of bed 2.5 hours late, this is
more realistically the time we will be golfing.
Can't wait for NNII:TGMM,
T-Dog
P.S. Oh yeah, optional:
Saturday 3pm: Mead Chapel. Something about a wedding.
Saturday 3:22 pm: Mead Chapel. When I will come running in
with my golf clubs.
From: James Hall
Subject: SNMFC Rules!
Date: Wed, 02 Oct 2002 22:02:29 -0400
Ok, boy-o's, I hope everyone had been in training for the most
important pickup football game of our lives. And, while I know it seems
pretentious for me to act like the "captain" of the team, I just want
to make sure we're all prepared, because I am NOT losing this year, especially
to a bunch of faggy Vermontians...or whatever...
First, I welcome the Whelan's to the SNMFC crew. Rob,
haven't seen you in a while, it'll be good to see you again. It'll be
good to have you guys on the winning team.
So, now down to business. Unless anyone has any objections,
I'm going to start at QB. I'll be like Kordell Stewart, or at least what
he's capable of doing. Of course, if I start playing like Jimmy Stewart
(like Kordell is...), than anyone can feel free to kick my ass and take
over...well, except for Shmeelz. I also would like to play some defense,
but again,
Ok, sadly enough, that's all I can think of...I really don't have
a game plan. I say we just go out and play some disorganized football,
and mess some Middleburyians up. Especially you, Shmeelz. You get
to be the crazy guy that just runs around the field with no particular purpose
other than to fuck the other team up. Ok, that's all I got. Just
call me the next Bill Parcells.
Have fun,
Dog
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 01:02:20 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rules!
From: Don Whelan
Ok, sadly enough, that's all I can think of...I really don't have a game
plan. I say we just go out and play some disorganized football, and mess
some Middleburyians up.
While I appreciate your candor, I think we all need to get a
little more serious than this if we want to truly show the world what New
Milford is capable of. Depending on the rules we end up playing by (namely,
first downs and such), it looks like the running game will be a big part of the
strategy. Luckily we have some big bodies to throw at them. I hope everybody's
running and working out plays so we can be a smooth machine come October 25.
Anyone have any thoughts on how we should play? Can anyone give a
rundown of our talent and potential positions? Remember, we'll need several
blockers in this tackle affair as well.
That is all.
-Don
Date: Wed, 2 Oct
2002 22:58:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rules!
I do need to get more serious about shaping up for NNII:GMM.
Remind me to go out to the lake and swim forty laps.
Speaking of being serious... you would be SERIOUSLY INSANE to not
check out SNMFC.com! In a last ditch effort to avoid a SNMFC season of
mass email, I'd like to mention that there is a forum setup, that IN THEORY
could make all of our trash talking and pointless banter much more
efficent. Of course, in theory
communism works...
Also I just remembered, I was supposed to start writing email to
Don (reaffirming once again that I am the worst email person... ever).
- Shawn
From: James C. Hall
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rules!
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 11:45:05 -0400
Ok, Tommy says that were gonna play 6 on 6, which means we're
gonna have an offense and a defense and subs and the whole works...almost like
a real football game. I know, most of us aren't used to that, but it's
cool. That way some people (Rooney, for example) won't end up passed out
on the field after every play. First downs usually work as every two
completions. I don't know if that is how it will be at this game.
Of course, we still don't know what team Tommy is playing on,
which is why these team letters don't go out to him, because he may turn on us
and give all our plans to those villainous Middleburians.
On offense, I just need two guys to block for me, and three guys
who can catch the ball and run people over, or out run people, or
both. Hoose, I know you have good hands. Are your knees in good
shape? Lucente, you should be on the offense, too. You can block,
and we can get you in on the occasional power run that we'll need when we go
for two, or when we just want to mess somebody up. Rooney, I know how you
love to give up your body for the ball, and you usually catch it, so I think
you should be a receiver, too. You'd better to be ready to go long,
tho. Those are the guys that I know for sure should be on offense.
But, like Don said, everybody should give a rundown of what people should be
doing.
Oh, and by the way, with just over 3 weeks to go until pickup
football Armageddon, I believe it is time to let the trash talk begin.
Talk to you all later.
Peace,
J-Dog
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 10:52:08 -0700
(PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Jamie.. check your Hotmail account. I sent my last email
there.
So where are you puttin' me coach? As an artist and computer
nerd, I can only assume I will be playing
DEEP left field.
Trash talk? Okay I'll start. Jamie is a flaming
homosexual.
- Shawn
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 03 Oct 2002 14:22:27 -0400
Heya,
Offense? Defense? Sweet merciful crap, does the SNMFC
even know what those things are? Why, back in my day we played all
positions for the whole game, which has been known to stretch across many
hours. Difficulty breathing and passing out during a play was part of the
fun. All of the sudden some Vermonters get involved and the game turns
pussy. What next, helmets? Whatever, I just want to smash
things. Or people...assuming we can call Vermonters "people".
PS: I am NOT a crackpot!
Mike
Date: Thu, 3 Oct
2002 14:34:56 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Don Whelan
Shawn... It helps to trash-talk the opposing team, generally
speaking. Trash-talking against teammates is accepted in most circles as being
counterproductive. But good effort. Oh, and calling the Middlebury folks gay
will only look like a complement, strangely.
But let's kick some ass!
I'm good to go at QB & WR. My brothers are very strong and
will be extremely difficult for the wanna-be Ivy Leaguers to bring down.
They're good at RB & WR. Drew is a good QB, too. Rob's got raw power, size,
and pretty good speed. We can all block, too, but will probably serve the SNMFC
better at one of the other positions.
Having the two-completion rule may be a bit unfortunate, because I
believe our running game could be extremely dominant. We ought to run the ball
once a series anyway; we'll get good yardage and probably a number of TDs.
On D, we can generally play anywhere. Let's remember that many of
the Middleburians are runner-types and are sort of fast, so we'll need some
talent at DB. Incidentally, two of the guys on the other team were DBs in high
school, but they're somewhat diminutive and don't necessarily have springs in
their legs. We have big, tall receivers and should fare well against them,
assuming our QBs can put the ball where it needs to be.
I think we'd be well-served using corner blitzes often. With the
experience level on both sides of the ball, it should be a really great play.
We'll need to guard against it when we're on offense, too. Good blocking will
be Key. They've got some strong guys who will rush the passer pretty hard, but
if we're looking for it and perhaps have a guy in the backfield to pick up
loose rushers and be an outlet receiver, we should be okay.
This is my scouting report to date. Shawn, as owner of the
Official SNMFC Website, you oughta put up a list of combatants with capable
positions so we can start formulating a strategy/lineup. I like the 6-on-6
format. It should work pretty well for this battle.
Looking forward to kickoff,
Don
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 12:23:52 -0700
I am ready for whatever goes down come high noon on the
25th. But I acknowledge the concerns that 6 on 6 could have a definite
downside.
* Very few of us have played "defense".
* Split squads can present speed mismatches that will
ultimately result in too many guys standing around on the sideline for too
long.
I'd kind of like to see 11 on 11, all receivers
eligible. Unlimited blitzes! The theory is that the unlimited
blitzes would result in a pass rush, thereby creating blocking. I'm probably
wrong, I'm the same guy that thinks that the USA would have won the World
Championships of Basketball if we sent a squad of playground all-stars from
Rucker to Venice. Wouldn't that have been cool watching a convicted felon
bitch slap Vlade Divac? Trash talking
at this point seems a little forced, as I don't know any of these guys. I
am amazed at how quickly "Will Tommy turn heel?" became the dominant
subplot of Nuptial Nightmare 2. How did that even get started?
Jeff Hoose
From: Chris Rooney
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 15:28:48 -0400
I
agree with Jeff. With 6 on 6, there is no need for substitution, if that
is indeed what Jamie was implying, and I assure you I will not collapse until
after the game is over.
Also,
as a true ivy leaguer, I would like to teach those wannabes a lesson, and so
all 190 lbs of the new Rooney will be ready to kick some serious
ass.
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 15:39:50 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Don Whelan
I'm glad we seem to agree about the squad size thing. 11 guys sounds like more
fun - more legit and that way there will be more defenders to make tackles, as
opposed to having folks run amok around the sparsely populated defense. I will
mention this preference to Tom, or "Tommy" as some of you like to
say. I'm sure he loves that.
Oh. What are our team colors? I like red, but green might be more
appropriate. We should show up looking like a team so we can intimidate the
hell out of the bad guys.
-Don
From: Chris Rooney
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 16:13:00 -0400
I disagree, everyone plays (even if that means blocking), and team
colors are great
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 16:13:50 -0400
I'm good to go at QB, too. This is good that we have some
arms on the team. It could lead to some trickery and tomfoolery.
I also have experience at CB and FS. Not in high school, but
college flag football, in which I played against high school wide
receivers, and did quite well, I must say. I'm open to play WR, but I
hate running short routes. I like to out run the defender for the quick
score. I can learn to adjust if the need comes, however.
The 11 on 11 thing just by it's very nature will be too
clustered. While we may not be used to separate offenses and defenses,
we're even less used to playing with that many people at once. Remember,
all of our games are usually 6 on 6 at most, and I haven't heard any complaints
about it yet. As far as speed mismatches go, they're gonna happen whether
we play 11 on 11 or 2 on 2. It doesn't matter. Also, the more
people that are on the field, the harder it will be to get a decent running
game going. I want to see, at most, a 7 on 7 game...but what the hell do
I know?
Trashtalking may seem forced, but nonetheless is a
necessity. Team colors, tho? I don't know about that...First of
all, it'll look gay. Second, we don't want to intimidate the other
team. We want them to think they can walk all over us so that when the
get they worst bitch slapping of their lives it'll hurt that much more.
Brian and Shawn, we gotta show these Green Mountain homosexuals what Penn State
football is all about.
Peace,
J-Dog
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 13:53:09 -0700
(PDT)
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Andrew Whelan
Ok, I have been silent until now but I
must put in my two cents.
The reputation of Western Connecticut is on the line. I am
bubbling with rage at the fact that a group of Vermont Mountainflamers thinks
they can match up with New Milford Men. I think those are good team names.
I think we should play 7 on 7 at most, 6 on 6 would be optimal. To
be sure, we will have a size advantage and must exploit that. We must spread
the field with wideouts and run plays off the tackle to draw the safeties
(if they play any) up and to the middle of the field. Then, expose with speed.
Trickery may not be needed, but that's a good option if we get desperate.
There is never much of a plan on defense, but I am more than happy
to pop a couple alka seltzers in my mouth, froth and hit some Mountainflamers
very hard. I wouldn't be a good corner, but I can rush pretty well and tackle.
This game is all I think about for 95% of the day. My entire childhood was
devoted to backyard football and I'll be damned if some Vermonteers think they
can take away my pride.
As Ben Crenshaw said ominously before the final day of the 1999
Ryder Cup, "I'm a big believer in fate." The only organized game the
Hine Hill crew played against a different neighborhood was a truly lopsided
affair: 70-7. We will win this game.
Oh, and I think trashtalking should be required.
Andrew
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 16:54:33 -0400
I really don't care how we
play. I just want to keep things as clean and manageable as
possible. Whatever works, just as long as I get to kick some ass.
James C. Hall
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 17:16:01 -0400
Ok, so Drew is just a little obsessed with this game, but that's
good...maybe. It's also good to have another person who agrees with
me. It doesn't happen often, so forgive me if I'm surprised.
Hopefully, we won't have to use the alka-seltzer tactic, tho, it would be quite
amusing. As far as size advantage goes, I don't know how big they are,
but we've got Durand, Shmeelz, and me, none of us weighing more than 150, and
Shmeelz in only like, 5'7. My only saving grace is that I can out run
everybody, and I can throw. I think we may be on the short end of the
stick here. But, again, what do I know?
James C. Hall
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 14:25:56 -0700
(PDT)
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Andrew Whelan
Well, maybe I embelished a bit, but if we lose I will be a bit
disappointed, let's put it that way.
Rob is about 6-3, weighing a trim 190 and ready to enter the world
of OCS boot camp. He should get some touches because he will be very hard to
take down.
I'm a shade shorter than Rob, coming in at about 205. Don has got
some good size too. I can throw the ball, but maybe I could be better used
elsewhere.
Anyway, I think we've got some good balance. Speed and size, both
of which kill. I'll consider leaving the alka seltzer at home.
Date: Sat, 5 Oct 2002 02:55:29 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Don Whelan
Gentlemen,
It appears they are as insecure as some of us. Written yesterday by VTC
("Vermont Chris"), he of the "Windmill Play" in which he
puts his arms straight out, spins, and runs into people before breaking off for
a pass:
Oh, and regarding the
incipent Green Mountain Massacre, it occurs to me that our team, despite an
impressive showing in intermurals, will be facing, um, "real"
atheletes, and few of us have kept up the intensive training routines of our
past (namely the staggering, as opposed to sitting, drunk). I respectfully
suggest we bring in a ringer, namely my friend Ben, who has several virtues,
like some football experience, high pain tolerance, and the like. Also, he's
driving me to Midd. Friday morning, I mentioned it to him, and he wants in.
T-diggity says it's cool if my teammates go along with it. If nothing else,
we'll have fill-ins when we start injuring ourselves.
As you can see, they seem a bit disorganized and unsure of themselves. I
suggest that if the "ringer" plays we let it go as gentlemen but
seriously punish the rest of the team on the field for the transgression. All
in favor, say aye.
I will shortly be working on a real scouting report so we can all get a feel
for what we're going against. They have 11 guys at the moment (not including
Tom) and as you may know the format is probably going to be either 6-on-6 or
7-on-7. The full-squad idea doesn't find much favor in the other camp,
apparently, and it doesn't find a consensus with us.
I hope you all ran this morning and are eating your Wheaties.
That is all.
-Don
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Sat, 5 Oct 2002 07:08:53 -0400
Real athletes? What,
are they playing another squad after us? Oh...they meant us. Well,
hey, if they consider any of us real athletes, then they're screwed. Yes,
I am definitely eating my (frosted) Wheaties and doing a whole lot of running
(to the beer store). I hope you all are doing the same.
As far as those Green Mountain Pussies, I say bring on the
ringer. If they think that'll help, well, we'll just have to break him in
half, too. Then, of course, their losing misery will be only
magnified by the fact that they thought cheating would help them win. We'll
teach them a lesson, tho. Cheaters never win, and winners never
cheat...unless the cheating goes unnoticed, in which case it's ok, right
Shmeelz?
Ok, J-Dog go sleep now. Wake up with hangover, then go to
work. Yay.
Peace,
J-Dog
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Sun, 6 Oct 2002 12:25:48 -0700
Damn right, Shawn! Don't ever take
shit from anybody with a first name like
Reid. Let's show these Moosefuckers how we do things on the
South Side!
Jeff Hoose
Date: Mon, 7 Oct 2002 14:23:05 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Don Whelan
Oh yes, the trash-talking has begun:
Today, from Rukus (a.k.a. Reid Porter), one of the two high school DBs from
Middlebury...
And I think it's fair to
say that I've been damn quiet these past few weeks. Hell, I've had to live with
reading my team asking for more backups and then some brooklynite retard saying
where gonna get whipped so ugly it'll be worse than seeing T-dog in a tutu.
Well, I think B2N will agree when I say that T-dog looks damned fine in a tutu
and we are gonna whip you CT boys so hard you'll be redder than Saddam's anal
cavity after a visit from our baghdad friendly patriot missile.
I
know for one that I've been training for this damned thing for a while now
(actual football training, since I got bruised and ego shattered at Tdogs
bachelor's party). And our drinking prowess will only make the rest of our
group better. It may not be what spinach is to Popeye but I'll be damned if
you'll want to come within tackling distance of half our team after a good
night at Angela's and a kickass pre/during game power hour.
I'm
looking forward to this, and daresay that some sort of drinking wager (paying
off friday night) should be put forth to satisfy the scoring barrage that is sure
to occur Friday afternoon.
This was in response to my opening shout:
Hope everyone's well
(except Alonzo, who I hope is exquisite) and I hope you guys are all training
real hard for the overwhelming ass-whooping you'll be receiving on the gridiron.
It will be as ugly as T-Dog in a tutu.
I am working on a scouting report on these clowns. Get your
football muscles in gear. There are less than three weeks to go!
-Don
Date: Mon, 7 Oct
2002 11:51:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Fuck Middlebury. The rich snobs will probably waste all
their time drinking peppermint schnopps and playing some gay-ass sport like
cricket. Compare that to my brutal training regiment of drinking
Yuengling, busting out Madden 93 for the Sega Genesis and stompin' to the beat
of DDR 3rd Mix (in that order) and you've got VT pain on the horizon. Add
to that the fact that everyone in Vermont is a goddamn pot-smokin',
Phish-lovin' hippie, and you've got the recipe for some fucked up Middleburians.
This uncharacteristic Shemeley-esque rant brought to you by Shawn
Handyside.
P.S. Remind me to add this to the website. "Yuengling... official sports drink of
the SNMFC"
Date: Mon, 7 Oct
2002 13:07:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Heh, damn straight! And I'm not even done yet, I found even
more rage to tap into.
These dirty hippies will most likely be so bad that will be a
considerable threat... and as both an artist
AND a nerd (holding within me only moderate knowledge of the game
dynamic), that is downright pathetic.
Couple that with the fact that the SNMFC has never actually lost a
game outside of itself, and you've got proof positive that victory is in the
bag.
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Tue, 8 Oct 2002 12:09:03 -0700
Brilliant, a Rembrandt, a Picasso, a...Dogs Playing Poker!
It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when our collective preoccupation with a
pick-up-football game became unhealthy, but the moment the logo arrived in
my mailbox is as good a choice as any.
By the way:
* What does B2N stand for? I will accept both the real and
insulting answers.
* A few of you threw out the idea of "colors", some
thought it was a good idea, some felt it to be a little too Frisco. I say
wear black. It gets the point across without any unnecessary social
commentary.
* Does anybody want to go see Korn? I have a pair of tix to
the Pop Sux Tour (Korn, Disturbed, Trust Company) on 11/10. (Sunday night
of Veteran's Day Weekend) My friend Marc can't make it and I don't want
to bring a female, considering we have standing tickets on the arena
floor. (Could get ugly). I have an extra ticket. The thing
us, the concert is in Long Beach, and attending it would involve leaving your
time zone. Let me know if anybody's interested.
Jeff Hoose
Date: Tue, 8 Oct
2002 15:25:16 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
From: Don Whelan
Funny you would follow up the suggestion to wear all black with an
invitation to see Korn. Who's the unhealthy one?
Anyway, yes, the logo is a bit over the edge but I'm still jobless
and need some freaking outlet for my pent-up frustrations. Obviously, a
grudge-match full-contact football game among old and new friends is an
attractive target for such a release.
B2N stands for Battell 2 North, the Middleburians' residence hall
for at least freshman year. Seems they all lived together and stuck together
after that. Charming. Let's pummel the cliquey bastards.
B2N stands for Bitches2Night, a lame, recurring, cocktail (read
that both ways) party they held for several years. They would get drunk on
vodka-crans, complain about the men in their lives, and then unceremoniously
deface each other's genitals.
B2N stands for WE'RE GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES!!
You choose the one you like and go with it. Motivation is every
man's friend.
-Don
Anybody hear from Ben Darling? Apparently he's going to make it to
the game (though a little late) as Dolan will be picking him up in Burlington
that morning. I don't know who all of the e-mail addresses belong to
(ucanttouchthis74 is a bit vague) so slap me if I'm overlooking him or anybody
else who hasn't yet responded.
Date: Tue, 8 Oct 2002 21:10:47 -0700
(PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
So black it is then? I say that or red, since the stained
blood of our opponents will be less obvious after a trip thru the washer.
On a humorous note that only reminds people how horribly
disorganized I am, I forgot to send in Tommy's invite response card, which led
me to email him the phrase "can my girlfriend and I still come to your
wedding?"
From: Mike Shemeley
Subject: Re: SNMFC Rulez, Yo
Date: Wed, 09 Oct 2002 01:44:57 -0400
Hey,
I know we're all worrying about logos and colors and positions and
putting much more thought into this league than we usually do, but I just need
some clarification on something. Friday noon is game time. But
here's a stupid question, who's field are we confiscating for a few
hours? I think I wasn't paying attention when that was decided.
That and I'm realizing that at some point I may want to call up mapquest and
find out where the fuck I'm driving. The good news is I have
friday-sunday off from work the weekend of the wedding, in addition to my
regular days off. This means I can probably drink more. And really,
isn't that what weddings are all about? (Besides football, that
is). Also, hotmail told me the address [email protected] is over the
limit, so this email won't get sent there. But they tell everyone that
everyone’s account is over the limit. Usually, they're lying.
Because it's all part of a vast conspiracy by the Microsoft
behemoth to get everyone to pay 20 bucks a year for a hotmail account.
Don't fall victim to their schemes! Tell Bill Gates to go fuck
himself. (With the money he has, he can probably pay a doctor to make
that possible) Damn the man! Save the Empire! Well, have a
good one.
Oh, I realize I didn't have any anti-vermontian rhetoric in this
email. So, for your consideration I offer this:
It's time for a good old fashioned hippie ass-whompin. Never trust a state with more cows than
people.
Vermont is so gay, it married San Fransisco. B2N sounds like a boy band. And is
probably about as F-A-G fruity.The field of play will be soaked in the blood of
our enemies! Victory is mine!
Mike
From: Marc Lucente
Subject: I just realized...
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 00:49:12 –0400
Hey
fellas,
I
just realized something interesting. The ice-cream making, cow-humping
mountain boys know nothing of the SNMFC's historic ban on cleats. As on
out of conference game, I put forth that the "no cleat" rule does not
apply. Besides, half of them may show up wearing spikes anyway, and we
don't want to be caught with our pants down... well, most of us don't, easy
Jamie, easy. Anyway, I suggest everyone who has them dig out (and
remember to pack) that old pair of actual sports shoes, I know I will.
Oh,
and try to remember of all those ridiculous trick plays or crafty ideas that
worked once on the SNMFC playing field but were defunk after the other team
eventually figured out how to defend them. They could be very useful.
Last
but not least... I call shotgun on the hottest brides maid.
Later,
Marco
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: I just realized...
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 01:11:08 -0400
That is quite interesting. However, I don't think we need any unfair
advantages. We'll kick their tree hugging asses anyways, why cheat?
Here's my proposal: We all bring our cleats, but we don't use them unless
the other team does. But I do like the fact that you brought that up.
Second, if I want to make Vermont the latest on a long list
of states that have had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing my ass, that's my
choice, dammit, and no one will stop me.
And third, I called shotgun on the hottest bridesmaid months
ago. You get second choice, Marco, you snooze, you loose.
On a random note, what do you all think the chances are of getting
this game on ESPN? I mean, it's not like they show anything good on
Fridays at noon anyways, right?
Later,
-J-Dog
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 01:17:09 -0400
Subject: T-Dog's Cleat Rule
From: Don Whelan
I discussed cleats with Tom months ago and he quickly vetoed the idea. Not sure
why. Guess he doesn't want anybody getting spiked the day before his wedding
(somehow that's worse than the potential for broken bones and facial
lacerations?). Anyway, I believe the B2Ners are expecting not to bring theirs.
However, if you've got 'em, bring 'em, just in case there's a shift in public
opinion prior to kickoff.
Scouting report should be up soon on Handyside's site. Assuming he gets his ass
in gear and uploads it.
-Don
Date: Thu, 10
Oct 2002 11:49:17 -0400
Subject: SNMFC.com updates
From: Don Whelan
SNMFC.com Updates!
New pre-game hype story pulled from the AP on the front page!
B2N Scouting Report now available!
From: Marc Lucente
Subject: Dear goodness...
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 15:00:26 -0400
Will everyone please visit the new scouting report on snmfc.com, click on the
bio for Will Vaughn, then submit to the group your very own take on what the
caption for this photo should be.
Mine:
"Bend over just a little bit more Dauvin... oh yeah... right there...
that's the spot."
Later
all,
Marco
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 18:26:30 -0400
Subject: SNMFC Intel Report
From: Don Whelan
URGENT DISPATCH
The latest B2N strategy meeting produced this gem from VTC:
Rukus,
I think you might be onto something with the drinking to enhance our football
game. If nothing else, if we're throwing up on whoever tackles us, they might
keep their distance. Also, it might be like "Drunken Master",
enhancing our speed while decreasing our tolerance for pain. By the way, if you
haven't seen "Drunken Master", do so forthwith. Jackie Chan is a
martial artist who always gets his ass kicked unless he drinks. In the climax,
he drinks industrial cleaner to win....
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: SNMFC Intel Report
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 15:45:10 -0700
Thank
you, Don, for what can only be described as fanatical devotion to this upcoming
contest. I can only hope these retards
get absolutely trashed the night before this game. I suggest we refrain from drinking the night before. It will only slow us down. Let’s not make too much noise about this one
to the Vermonters. Let their stupidity
give us the edge.
Date: Thu, 10
Oct 2002 19:08:23 -0400
Subject: Re: SNMFC Intel Report
From: Don Whelan
They are certainly planning a boozing trip to Angela's, their favorite
Middlebury bar, the night before the game. We should have a tea party, or at
least some pizza and soda.
My "fanatical devotion" is the result of a combination of factors. A)
I am sickeningly competitive when it comes to sporting events, especially true
"events" like this one, B) I am absolutely determined that we Hine
Hill folks must combine successfully with the SNMFC to uphold our
perfect record in extra-neighborhood contests, like the SNMFC has its own
stellar record in similar games, C) I have a connection to the other side and
am eager to exploit it for our benefit, and D) I'm still unemployed, which
makes it easy to spend a little too much time on it.
I am glad you appreciate my efforts and I look forward to sharing the glory
with all of you.
We do need to discuss strategy a bit and figure out where certain people will
play, though. Tom raised a couple of items when I saw him this weekend, such as
where Shemeley will play... (no offense, Mike). We'll have the opportunity to
sub people in and out on both sides of the ball but if anyone is interested in
playing one side exclusively, volunteers will be welcome. Also, it was
suggested that having Jamie start at Q could hurt us because we'd miss out on
his speed advantage. Tom claimed Jamie would be the fastest guy on the field
and that it'd be a shame to have him standing around in the pocket. Other than
him, the B2Ners will likely have a speed advantage, and we may want to combat
that as much as we can. We do have other folks who can throw, so unless Jamie
is Joe Montana incarnate, we might not suffer too much by having somebody else
take those duties, at least to start.
Comments? Concerns? Questions? Let's really start discussing these types of
things, and I'll see if I can distill the consensus onto Shawn's site for all
of us to access. I don't believe the bad guys have the address and I know Tom
is secretly rooting for us, so I doubt he'll spill those beans. Anyway, I've
given you a topic, now talk amongst yourselves so we can all hear.
-Don
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 09:52:22 -0400
Subject: More Brainless B2N Chatter
From: Don Whelan
Insidious new play in the works:
VT
- you may be onto something with your bbeer plan for the gridiron. We could use
the "Bwaaaaaaaah!" play, where you run out a few steps, puke on your
defender (he'll leave you open), then just catch it. It'll kind of be like that
fake an injury play, but better becuase someone gets puked on. This pretty much
mandates your Angela's presence the night before.
Date: Sat, 12
Oct 2002 23:18:10 -0400
Subject: Re: More Brainless B2N Chatter
From: Don Whelan
Uh oh! The word is out!!!!!
----------------------------------------
Oh
and in case no one has seen the website.... Our rivals have a whole scouting
report on us for the Nupt. Nightmare that starts as follows:
"SNMFC
prepping for heroic effort against evil Midds in epic battle.
Espionage
is an available tactic and summer scouting has given our team a bushelful of
suspect information to use against the opponents. In this SNMFC.com exclusive,
Don Whelan exposes the weaknesses -- but not privates, thankfully -- of the
Battell 2 North (B2N) team, alternatively known as the
"CollegeFriends," "Middleburians," and, recently, "The
Dirty Hippies.""--- see full report at:
http://www.snmfc.com/b2n-scout.html
Evil
Midds, Espionage, dirty hippies . . . well, these damn dirty apes from CT (CT!
of all places--- doesn't even HAVE an NFL team!!!!) are gonna learn a thing or
two about being cock slapped.
Gentleman.
This is war.
-RuKuS-
----------------------------------------
oh
my god, there is a website......this is going to be one hell of a game/laughing
stock. I can't wait. I'm even taking the afternoon off in its honor.
----------------------------------------
this
is my last post today, ...I think. But I thought one more quote from the
enemies forum was worthy of mbeing ridiculed:
"Several
people have commented on the fact that we should be getting ready for Nuptual
Nightmare II: Green Mountain Massacre. I think that means I'm supposed to be
playing less Warcraft and more DDR. Someone remind me to do that too."
DO
they have plays designed? DO they know how to design plays? DO they know what
American football is? Are these really commi-nazis that landed in CT? Do they
spend all of their commi-nazi time playing warcraft and designing websites with
nonexistent links? DO I also have to much time on my hands? ... I'm going now.
I'm going home to drink and gear up to beat these commi-nazis into the ground.
RuKuS
----------------------------------------
Uniforms seem like a good
idea...we could wear the old intermural blue-T uniform, but something with a
design could be cool... Also, re: the website 1) it's a shame some of our best
plays have been outed, and 2) it seems that, although they're Mike's plays,
they're attributed to me.
----------------------------------------
Brian,
if you want to know when the football thing is happening just look at the
website. They have a countdown to the second. Speaking of which, who the hell
has the time or the money to do something like that? I agree with Russ these
guys have got to be some sort of comi-nazi's (Lord knows there's nothing wrong
with comi's but God save us if they're nazis too).
Turbo
PS:
I think we had better start drawing up some plays and maybe try to get a
practice session in beforehand. Also, I've checked with the health center and
apparently you can only get crutches if you're a student so bring your midd
cards for after the game.
Date: Sat, 12
Oct 2002 23:47:46 -0400
Subject: Important Bulletin
From: Don Whelan
Greetings, SNMFCers.
In response to the recent intel leak most likely committed by Tom,
I suggest we redouble our strategizing and relocate our sensitive info to a
new, undisclosed website. I will donate server space at my address to
accommodate this need. I will begin work on our roster/lineup, gameplan and
playbook tomorrow, and will set up the page for you all to view. Now that the
word is out I suspect they may actually get serious and start working on a
gameplan. I will monitor all the usual channels for relevant chatter and report
my findings. (I feel like a freaking British OSS officer or something)
Anyway, I'll get that roster up pronto so we can actually start
thinking about this stuff cohesively. Shawn, obviously there will be no mention
of this new shift on the official site. Perhaps, actually, the official site
should be used for misinformation and propaganda efforts. Or we could just
leave it alone and let you draw your cartoons. But you don't want all your
effort wasted, do you? Hmm?
So. I suspect you're all questioning my sanity and I find that
encouraging. Buckle down, get running and get ready to hit 'em hard!
-Don
From: James C. Hall
Subject: Re: More Brainless B2N Chatter
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 03:01:43 -0400
"Evil Midds, Espionage, dirty hippies . . . well, these damn
dirty apes from CT (CT! of all places--- doesn't even HAVE an NFL team!!!!) are
gonna learn a thing or two about being cock slapped."
...Since when does New Hampshire have an NFL team? Did
I miss something?
-J-Dog
From: James C.
Hall
Subject: Re: Important Bulletin
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 03:10:41 -0400
And as far as the leakage goes, it seems to me that we have not
one, but TWO possible culprits for this, since, besides Tom, there is only one
of us that has any contact with any of the other team. Suddenly, I feel
like I'm in an episode of Scooby Doo (speaking of which, has anybody seen the
Scooby Doo movie? Of those, how may agree with me that Velma is fucking
HOT in that movie?).
-J-Dog
Date: Sun, 13
Oct 2002 10:06:08 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: Important Bulletin
From: Andrew Whelan
Yes, yes, Velma is quite hot. I spent the whole movie with my head
to the side trying to convince myself out of it, but at the end it was like,
"Huh, yes, she is hot."
Andrew
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Important Bulletin
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002
Hello all,
I think the website is great, and so
what if they found it and read it. It's
not like we put any top secret information on there (yet) and if we enjoy
sharing our great snmfc moments online and reading fake press releases then so
be it. They can make fun of us for
having too much time on our hands (see Rukus email forwarded by Don) but if
that lowers their opinion of us (this is the same group after all that called
us "athletes" in an earlier email) then so be it. Advantage us.
What we need going into this game is
not a solid overall gameplan, pre-designed plays, or even tom foolery. What we need is a burning desire to win to
preserve the legacy that is the SNMFC and that can only be accomplished if all
eleven players feel equally accepted and valued. When you think of teams that overcame incredible odds to win a
championship, or an extremely important game (the 2001 Patriots come to mind),
it happened not because they had the best talent or the superior plan. They won because they stuck together and had
faith in every player from the star player down to the bench-warmer. We need that team mentality in order to
ensure victory in the NNII: GMM.
In closing, I say let the full group
mass email trash-talking resume and let us just avoid discussing specific plans
for the game. We play better and enjoy
the game more when we just go out there, line up, and make up plays as they
happen. We've never stuck to a
pre-designed game plan after the kickoff anyway, so why start now?
Only 10 days (according to the
official clock on www.snmfc.com ) remain gentlemen, get psyched.
-Durand
From: Mike Shemeley
Subject: Re: Important Bulletin
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 2002 08:06:46 -0400
Hey,
Spies? Double agents? Conspiracies? Jesus, you
people are starting to sound like me. Screw it all. We don't need
thinking or plays or secret websites. We just need to hit people real
hard, run fast, and catch the ball more often than not. The same strategy
we've been using since the days on the frozen tundra of hill and plain
school. Because it works. And it's funner. Also, B2N is made
of Vermonters, not New Hampshirites. Don't make that mistake again
Hall. Lumping my compatriots with those cowfuckers.
Tho, they too do not have an NFL team, so you really have to
wonder about that comment of theirs...too much pot I guess. Stupid
hippies can't play football. And that's the key to victory. That,
and possibly sword-chucks. Have a good one folks.
Mike
Date: Tue, 15
Oct 2002 11:31:47 -0400
Subject: Open Season on B2N
From: Don Whelan
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b2n/
From: Chris Rooney
Subject: RE: Important Bulletin
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 11:04:06 -0400
Custom design T-shirts? As we like to say down at the
office,
"That doesn't meet the membership standards."
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 08:05:31 -0700
(PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: Important Bulletin
Speaking of gay Vermonters, did you know our opponents are having
t-shirts (uniforms?) made? I suppose a team comprised of people who went
to Midd (i.e. rich bastards) can afford to do such a thing. I hope they
don't mind getting their precious shirts dirty.
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: Important Bulletin
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 08:44:13 -0700
What
better way to play up the “snobs v. slobs” theme than with official
uniforms? I can’t wait to unfurl somebody’s
frilly cravat. “Stop that! It took me three hours to get it this
frilly!” I will not rest until an
aristocrat drops his monocle and a wealthy dowager faints at the sight of the
SNMFC drinking Yuengling from the D-cup.
Jeff Hoose
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 2002 09:28:58 -0700
(PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Forum News No One Will Use
I have gone and made the SNMFC forum 100% secure to outside
communist/vermontian forces. The only catch is that people have to email
me (with a username/password) so I can setup their accounts.
Of course right now only Jamie and I actually use the forum...
altho if our conversations aren't incredibly interesting, I don't know what is.
Later!
Date: Fri, 18
Oct 2002 14:12:29 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: RE: B2N uniforms
From: Andrew Whelan
Now I really can't wait to kick their asses. I would consider
white, though, because black will be too close to navy blue. Now we won't only
be able to taunt their lowly skills as a football team, but their nicknames
too.
> B2N has ordered t-shirts, navy blue with the Green Mountain
Massacre logo on the front and nicknames on the back. Thought everyone should
know.
> I vote for showing up ragged in black. Because I don't have
any money for getting shirts. But I do have inkjet iron-ons!!
Date: Sun, 20
Oct 2002 08:55:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: RE: B2N uniforms
Well we could just wear whatever the hell we have available (minus
navy blue) and we'd still know damn well who's on our team. I mean, it's
not like we've ever coordinated before...
Date: Mon, 21
Oct 2002 20:28:08 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Weather
From: Andrew Whelan
Looking ahead to the forecast this weekend - looks like rain. That
means a running game. Speed won't mean as much and size will matter more. These
are both good and bad things for us. Apparently the Middleburyites were raised
in Europe don't know how to throw, and we have several arms. But they are
apparently faster, while we are bigger. Are cleats outlawed for sure?
Oh yeah, the forecast says rain on Saturday, too, for whatever
that other thing is that we're all going to be up there for. That would be too
bad as well.
The website is hilarious, by the way. Oh, and dammit, I can't wait
to hit those fags. I'm developing a twitch.
Andrew
From: James C.
Hall
Subject: Re: Weather
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 2002 00:40:47 -0400
Fuck the running game. If u people can't throw the ball or
catch the ball in the rain, then why the hell are you playing? Hell, if I
have to, I'll throw the ball to myself. Running game isn't going to get
us first downs.
That's a fact. Running game is going to make us lose.
That's another fact. Get used to
passing a wet ball, because that's the only way we're going to win. And
if I have to play QB to do it, then so be it.
- James "The Mother Fucking Man" Hall
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Weather
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 2002
Hey guys,
Since some of you will be departing
for Vermont soon be sure to pack the proper attire for the game. Screw the team colors, make sure you got
clothes/footwear that will hold up in the rain.
In a turn of events that can only
benefit the SNMFC, who has played in just about every meteorological condition
the climate of the northeast United States allows ("Blizzard Bowl,"
"Mud Bowl," "Ice Bowl," "Freezing Rain Bowl,"
etc.), the Weather Channel is calling for Rain Showers and temperatures in the
40's on Friday and Saturday.
Now if we could only get Jillian
Barberie from Fox NFL Sunday's Pre-Game to show up and do a live weather report
for us this game would have everything.
See you at the field,
Brian
P.S. Remember this in packing for the voyage North, Napoleon's
forces were defeated not because the Russians were a superior force or better
equipped, but because they were unprepared for the weather too far from home.
Date: Tue, 22
Oct 2002 11:21:06 -0400
Subject: Re: Weather
From: Don Whelan
Latest weather report...
Friday upgraded to "Cloudy," 48.
Saturday upgraded to "Sprinkles," 48
(didn't know they forecasted "sprinkles").
Keep that positive SNMFC energy flowing and maybe we'll get a bit
of sunshine for the weekend.
Keyshawn Hall, after we score a touchdown on our first run from
scrimmage, you will be a believer in the power of the ground game.
THREE DAYS TO GO!
From: James C.
Hall
Subject: Re: Weather
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2002 20:02:56 -0400
I can, and will, catch anything catchable thrown to me, whether
it's a wet or dry ball, and whether I'm on offense, or defense. Only way
I'll drop anything is if I have 10 broken fingers, or if the ball is thrown 10
feet over my head. As far as outrunning everyone else, I got the moves of
Barry Sanders, and the speed of Michael Johnson...well, compared to everyone
else, at least.