Prior to Jiblet Jam VI (2002)
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
Friends, New Milfordites, Winners of
NN2:GMM....lend me your ears!
In just a mere 18 days America will
celebrate our oldest and most coveted holiday....Thanksgiving. America celebrate this holiday in the honor
of our ancestors who came to this great country, invited their new neighbors to
a fantastic feast to celebrate their success, killed them, and took their
land....ah the roots of democracy and liberty!
Once again the members of the SNMFC,
recognizing the need to celebrate this national holiday, will descend upon
their hometown of New Milford, congregate on the frozen tundra of Hill &
Plain field, and honor their ancestors by kicking each others asses on the
football field.
I'm not talking about another one of
those glorious exhibition matches we had up in Vermont several weeks ago, I'm
talking about real smash-mouth, trash-talking, tom-foolery ridden
football. Here is where we will return to
our roots and continue a time-honored tradition that began nearly six years ago
on the frozen tundra.
We've had two weeks to celebrate the
greatest victory in the storied history of the SNMFC, but now that period of
celebration must end. For it is time to
once again get our minds in trash-talking mode and our medicine cabinets full
of Advil. Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
will take place on Thursday, November 28th and I expect to see everyone there.
-Brian
P.S. Who knows they will defintely be able to play that day? I'm
assuming Jamie, Shemeley, T-Dog, and Rooney are in along with myself. That makes 5. Roonz, is your brother available again? Marc can you make it up from Florida or we will have to wait
until Jingle Jam (or Santa Slam) to see you again? Hoose, same question only replace Florida with California. Ben & Kevin will you be around for the
game? Hope to see you all there.
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
Date: Sun, 10 Nov 2002 10:01:48 -0500
Hey kids,
I love the smell of football in the morning...it smells
like...victory.
Anywhoo, yeah, I'll be around for the time-honored tradition of
the Jiblet Jam (which reminds me that I should probably get in some sort of
physical shape, since we aren't playing a bunch of Vermont peacenik
hippies).
Because I have Wednesdays and Thursdays off. Otherwise I'd
be SOL.
Speaking of that, I have to go to work soon. And Durand, I
think I smelled some leftist propaganda in your email (big surprise).
Yeah, we killed Indians. And they killed us too. Either way, we're
all part of the same species. Everybody kills everybody. Some of us
just do it better than others. Which is why Vermont can't take over the
world. My point? I like stories. Well, have a good one.
See some/all/none of you on the frozen tundra of hill and plain school.
Mike
Date: Mon, 11
Nov 2002 12:15:16 -0500
Subject: Re: Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
From: Tom Marks
I agree with most of the recent rhetoric. Leave it to me to
tell you all that the post-NN2 honeymoon is over. We must now focus our
minds, and our web site, on the upcoming Jiblet Jam VI.
I must, however, contend with my brethren on the following points:
1) “Jam Harder?” Too generic, and I think that was
the theme of Jams II-IV. I would instead
like to borrow a line from National Lampoon's European Vacation and offer:
Jiblet Jam VI: Me and My Family Are Looking for Sex
2) “For it is time to once again get our minds in trash-talking
mode and our medicine cabinets full of Advil.”
Or in Jamie's case, Desitin for his sore ass.
3) What's the deal with the Shawn? Has anyone seen the
Shawn? Are you NH (ergo NM) bound this Thanksgiving?
4) Hey, anyone who is in town should come to my apt in Naugy for a
post-jam licking of wounds Friday night. Rooney, I know what you're
thinking, and no, I'd rather lick my own wounds, thank you.
So yeah, I'm definitely in. Right now, we have 1-on-1 with
an automatic QB (Me, Durand and Shmeelz). So who else is in?
T-Dog
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
Date: November 12, 2002
In response to those who've
responded:
1.) "Which reminds me that I
should probably get in some sort of physical shape, since we aren't playing a
bunch of vermont peacenik hippies."
Well said Shmeelz, this certainly
will be more a strenuous engagement than our last outing for sure.
2.) "Jiblet Jam VI: Me and My
Family Are Looking for Sex"
I'm not married to the idea of
Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder (developing catchy names for our games is not my
strong suit...that's a task better suited for Hoose, Hall, or Tommy although
that is a strange choice for the name of the big game there T-Dog).
3.)"Or in Jamie's case, Desitin
for his sore ass."
Great they make a product for Jamie
to heal his ass with after it gets kicked around all afternoon...why can't they
make a product that keeps his ass from coming out of his pants in the first
place?
4.) "What's the deal with the
Shawn?"
Last I heard (he posted on his comic
strip website last week) he was going to be moving to New Hampshire in the near
future. Don't know when that will be
but hopefully he'll be on the way there to make a convenient pit stop for the
big game.
5.) "Anyone who is in town
should come to my apt in Naugy for a post-jam licking of wounds Friday night."
I'm in.
6.) "So who else is in?"
Excellent question, who else we got?
Jamie & Rooney I'm looking in your direction.
-Brian
From: Chris Rooney
Subject: RE: Jiblet Jam VI: Jam Harder
Date: Tue, 12 Nov 2002 09:36:08 -0500
Yes, yes, of course I'm in. And I agree with T-dog's
subtitle. And T-dog, I need your address so I can mail you that check.
Peace,
roonz
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 14:35:28 -0500
Subject: JJVI: Me and My Family Are Looking For Sex
From: Tom Marks
I think there are several bits of SNMFC business to address before
JJVI.
1) Who will commit our glorious victory in NNII to
posterity? The web site must be updated so the whole world will know who
reigns supreme in the arena of pick-up football. I nominate Hoose, since
his contributions to JJVI will be limited at best, being on the West Coast.
2) What time will we jam? If you all can pull your lazy
asses out of bed, I say we jam at 9am. I will have some "family
shit" to do around noon, which means I need to be clean by then. So
9-11 works best for me. I think that time also works for Dolan.
Also, once we establish the time, we can have Shawn update the Countdown to
Eternal Jamnation
3) I think he'll be on the west coast anyway, but if not, should I
invite Don to jam?
4) Durand, bring your cones.
If Dols plays, we have seven (Jamie, I'm just assuming you're in,
because you bleed SNMFC). Do I hear eight?
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: JJVI: Me and My Family Are Looking For Sex
Date: November 14, 2002
Hello everyone,
>"1) Who will commit our
glorious victory in NNII to posterity?"
I also nominate Hoose for this task
(assuming he isn't too busy) seeing as how there are few out there who can
describe our monumental victory in NNII so eloquently while at the same time
using such memorable one-liners as "The game was over quicker than that
show Girl's Club" to recap the game.
>"2) What time will we
jam?"
I also concur with 9 AM as a jam
time. This has been our standard
starting time for 4 years now and it allows all of us to fulfill our
"family shit" (well said T-Dog) obligations in the afternoon.
>"3.) "Should I invite
Don to jam?
Any member, past or present, who
sided with us in our defining moment as a football concern (see the
aforementioned blowout in NNII: GMM) shall always be welcome at our games.
>"4.) Durand, bring your
cones."
Done and done. And I mean done.
Two weeks to JJVI, see you there,
Brian
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: JJVI: Me and My Family Are Looking For
Sex
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 12:36:09 -0800
Sadly, I will miss both the championship flag raising ceremony as
well as Jiblet Jam VI. Southern New Milford will be on my mind, however,
as I plan to spend the morning masturbating, while thinking about all of your
sisters.
Jeff Hoose
From: Chris Plank
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 16:38:19 EST
Subject: Re: JJVI: Me and My Family Are Looking For
Sex
Ahoy-hoy gentlemen. While being in the retail field, I may be limited in
my ability to participate in this splendid event, however if the game is between
9-11, I may be able to work from 12-4 and thus be able to play, I will remain
in touch. As for Hoose he will be heavy on logistics, tape study and such
to us and I'd like to thank the "Coach" in advance there.
~Plank
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: JJVI: Me and My Family Are Looking For
Sex
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 23:50:39 -0500
Hey kids,
What up? 9am is early. And I will grumble, but I
should still be able to make that time. Well, I'll be there by 930 in
keeping with my usual record of being late to everything we do. I'm not
gonna be in town long tho, so I don't think I'll be involved in any other
wackiness. Basically I'm showing up Wednesday, getting done everything I
should have done in NM 3 months ago, and leaving Thursday after the triptophene
wears off. And hotmail is telling me that Hall's account is full (due to
a combination of porn/loan/meds/credit/mlm spam and the 800 or so SNMFC
emails), and psu's servers were telling me he doesn't exist (they do that to
everyone there from what I understand...you can seat 108000 people but you
can't give them working email accounts) so it won't let me send this email to
him. Tho it could be lying. Not that he's gonna care about my
rambling anyways. So he's not in the reply. Ah well. Have a good
one.
Mike
From: Marc
Lucente
Subject: Keeper the Southern Trespass
Date: Sat, 16 Nov 2002 23:46:40 -0500
I'm
in. I think I'm flying in on Tuesday. Who's up for some drinkin?
Marco
From: James Hall
Subject: Re: Keeper the Southern Trespass
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 04:11:30 -0500
While I probably won't be home until wednesday, I'm always up for
some drinking!
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Mystery Player
Date: November 18, 2002
I was at the mall this past weekend
when totally out of the blue I ran into someone we haven't seen since high
school.
We started talking a little bit and
it turns out he's living in the Philly area now.
He'll be back in New Milford
visiting family over Thanksgiving weekend and I mentioned that I would be
heading home for the holidays as well to play in Jiblet Jam VI (and visit
family too I suppose).
He didn't know we still played
football together since high school ended and asked if he could play with us
again. I told him I'm sure we could
always use another player.
He wanted to show up as a complete
surprise that morning, but I told him I had to let everyone know there was
another player coming in case we picked teams over email this week (which of
course will invariably mean we will have to repick them Thursday morning when
Jamie oversleeps).
So I told him I would let everyone
know we have another player (I think this makes nine now that Marc is coming
home from Florida) but let his identify remain anonymous until he makes his
appearance at JJVI.
For those who are curious, let's
just say he's a ghost of SNMFC past (meaning he played with us on multiple
occasions during high school).
-Brian
From: James Hall
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 01:32:32 -0500
What do u mean "when Jamie oversleeps"? I'm
usually relatively on time and many times have been the first person
there. You wanna talk fashionably late, look at Shmeelz. He's never
on time.
From: Chris Rooney
Subject: RE: Mystery Player
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 10:08:56 -0500
I've
got ten bucks on "Boner"
Date: Mon, 18
Nov 2002 11:24:38 -0500
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
From: Tom Marks
Trying to think who else from from NM is in the Philly area. Then it hit
me. Fresh out of Drexel school of dentistry, it had to be...Matt Tanner!
Well okay, perhaps not. I think I speak for everyone when I say, I'm
looking forward to RANDALL time once again.
Is it possible we're approaching five on five?
T-Dog
From: Jeff Hoose
To: Brian Durand
Subject: RE: Mystery Player
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 09:13:56 -0800
"The Return of Gambone": This ranks among the best ideas
of all time. Nobody suspects a
thing. I'm actually stoked for the return of Gambone until I remember
that I am playing Gambone. I can almost envision a scenario in which I jump
out of your car in a pillow-stuffed eagles jersey and Gambone mask, carrying
around a box of donuts and doing the lindy hop, when the real Gambone emerges
from behind the bushes and hits me over the back of the head with a folding
chair. Could you see this? We say this every year, but this has the
chance to be the most memorable Jiblet Jam of all time.
Jeff Hoose
Date: Mon, 18
Nov 2002 09:24:21 -0800 (PST)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Mystery Stroker
Hey look, I'm still alive! Since I have a whole hour of free
time (my lunch break) I'll be able to update the neglected SNMFC site.
Hopefully I'll be able to update it regularly until Jam time (until my computer
is packed anyway).
Speaking of which, if you haven't heard (via my website or via me
randomly yelling at you) Alyssa and
I are moving up to Derry, NH on Nov.24-26! So exciting,
yet...so very painful. Between my job (which is practically full-time
again), creating Staccato content for a book being published soon, and packing,
I've been kinda MIA. Sorry about that. I'm still considering a trip
down from NH for JJVI:MAMFALFS, but driving conditions and laziness will be
determining factors. I'd say there's a 20% chance I'll show, if
percentages help anything.
I don't know who this mystery player could be, but it would be
damn funny if it was Paul "Hotstroke"
"Whalebait" Holyoak.
- Shawn
From: James Hall
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 13:02:18 -0500
So who do we have playing so far, anyways?
Date: Tue, 19
Nov 2002 16:13:05 -0500
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
From: Tom Marks
By my count...
Definite:
-T-Dog
-J-Dog
-Roonz
-Lil' Roonz
-Durand
-Dolan
Definite if the wake up:
-Shmeelz
-Lucente
Possible:
-Mystery Player?
-Ben
-Plank
-Handyside
That's a good jam right there.
Let's work on harassing the maybe.
T-Dog
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
Date: November 19, 2002
T-Dog,
The mystery player emailed me today
and he is definitely in for the game, so that makes 7 definite plus 2 highly
likely (Shmeelz & Lucente).
Nine guys for JJVI is a respectable
showing. And you have to figure that at
least one of the three "possibles" will show making it ten. (And no,
I don't think it's time for Lil' Durand to lace up and enter our games yet).
Just 8 days left to kickoff.
See you all on the frozen tundra,
-Brian
From: Marc
Lucente
Subject: This stuff is supposed to happed to Hoose...
Date: Tue, 19 Nov 2002 22:07:37 -0500
I
might as well call this "A View from the Beach"...
Tradegy
struck my humble Three's Company-esque dwelling today when for the first time I
let loose this horrific slice of ass and as luck would have it both girls
entered the room only seconds after. The fallout of the stench lasted
several minutes, the fallout of the women is still being heard...
Two
things on unrelated notes:
1.
Take me off the damn "possible" list, my frozen ass will be there.
2.
What about Double J Josh Jutton, didn't he play with us once or twice?
Later,
Marco
Date: Wed, 20
Nov 2002 09:17:01 -0800 (PST)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: This stuff is supposed to happen to
Hoose...
You fool! If you're going to release a cloud of "noxious amnesia gas"
around women, you should make sure it's powerful enough to kill them so they
can't possibly bitch about it! Or at the very least, make it strong enough to
render them unconscious so you can make your escape.
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: This stuff is supposed to happen to
Hoose...
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 2002 12:52:55 -0500
Hey kids,
I'll be at the game. And I'll even be awake. I
just might be late like usual for reasons I still don't fully understand.
I'm still at odds with the concept of time. As for gas...well, when they
make methane fueled cars, we'll be able to drive for free while bitchy women
will be forced to submit to our toxicity if they ever expect to leave the
house. But really, they just need to understand that farts are needed to
avoid possible medical problems...or a high chance of spontaneous
combustion. I'm not making sense, so it's time to end this email.
Mike
From: Chris
Plank
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 2002 16:48:41 EST
Subject: Re: Mystery Player
Greetings and Salutations to all you wacky bastards! It's
time to take the name Plank off the possible list and put it on the definite
list. I got my hours for thanksgiving changed to 12-4, so I am available
between 8:30 and 11:30 (as I must shower and such before work). My guess for
the mystery player is that wacky Lawrence Taylor.
~Plank
Date: Thu, 21
Nov 2002 17:09:11 -0500
Subject: Five on Five Giblet Action is Complete!
From: Tom Marks
With the addition of Plank, we now have a definite 5-on-5.
Roonz
Lil Roonz
Lucente
Shmeelz
Hall
Dolan
Mystery Player
Plank
Durand
Me
With Bosco and Handyside on the outside possibly looking in.
Sweetness.
T-Dog
Date: Mon, 25
Nov 2002 15:09:58 -0500
Subject: Me an my family are looking for SNOW
From: Tom Marks
For the first time ever, the Jiblet Jam may be a Snow Bowl.
Weather Channel says we're getting snow Wednesday into the night. It
won't be snowing the day of, but there should be an appropriate amount of slush
on the ground.
Don't forget, my place on Friday night around 8pm. Y'all are
welcome to stay over.
Peace,
Dog
Prior to Kwanza Khaos (2002)
From: Chris
Plank
Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 17:13:30 EST
Subject: Is it that Kwanza time of year?
Ahoy-hoy-
Yes, it's time to celebrate a holiday....insert your preferred holiday here
_______ .
On another note, I was wondering if I could have addresses for Christmas Card
style hijinks. Also as the days dwindle, let's confirm our jingle jam
date and it's moniker, etc.
Ahoy
Chris
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: RE: Is it that Kwanza time of year?
Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 14:29:27 -0800
Now that
our bodies and schedules can no longer survive the rigors of 2 games in three
days, I suggest we retire the Jingle Jam and Boxing Day Massacre Monikers, at
least for this year, and call our late December match, SNMFC Kwanza Khaos. Whaddya say? Why not play this one on Sunday 12/22? I doubt family obligations will be as demanding on the 22nd. Hall, Rooney, Durand and I threw this and
other ideas about during the latest SNMFC player’s union meeting session at
Elan’s of Connecticut last Saturday.
From: Chris
Plank
Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 17:53:33 EST
Subject: Re: Is it that Kwanza time of year?
As of right now, 12/22 will be a fine day for Kwanza Khaos.
As Xmas eve, Xmas will not work ( I gotta work the eve) and the day after
Xmas I will have to work at like 4am again...last time for a while thank
god! Keep me informed....and we'll have to have our wacky webpage updated
sometime soon.
Chris
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Is it that Kwanza time of
year?
Date: December 3, 2002
Going "Khaotic" on Sunday,
December 22nd works for me. However, I
must request that the game be played in the morning (9 or 10 AM latest) if I am
to make it. Believe it or not I will be
having a family gathering that afternoon since I will not be home on Christmas
Eve or Christmas Day.
Jiblet Jam is sacred and the name of
our Thanksgiving game should never be changed, but as for the name of our
Winter Holiday game should I have no opposition to changing its name from time
to time and Kwanza Khaos fits as well as any other.
-Brian
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: RE: Is it that Kwanza time of year?
Date: Wed, 04 Dec 2002 14:01:49 -0500
Hey kids,
I won't be in town for that weekend, but I'll be around Dec
25/26 for a bit anyways. So I guess I'll miss the Kwazy Kwaanzza
Khaos. Ah well. Have a good one.
Mike Shemeley
From: Jeff Hoose
Subject: HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 09:14:03 -0800
It is the morning of December 9th, which means we are just 4 days
from "Drumline" and an unknown number of days from the next SNMFC
contest. Remember when we threw around
a prospective date for Kwanza Khaos? Do youthink you could go ahead and
click "reply" and take the 2 seconds necessary to establish whether
or not Sunday 12/22 works for you?
Jeff Hoose
Dynamite Fuck Film Specialist
Date: Thu, 05 Dec 2002 18:42:53 -0500
Subject: Re: HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
From: Tom Marks
Two things:
At the end of JJVI:MAMFALFS, we talked about the possibility of
getting the Whelans for Jingle Jam (Now Kwanza Khaos) and doing an East
Coast-West Coast showdown. Well, sith Rob in the Navy in Florida, and Don
in Brooklyn, it would probably mean Hoose vs. the rest of the SNMFC, but
despite that, should we have the Whelans come celebrate Kwanza Khaos with
us? We could be looking at 5 on 5 again.
Also, I'm attaching the official trailer for Kwanza Khaos, in
giddy anticipation of the big game. Shawn, this is different from the
once I sent you, so please upload this version to the web site.
Yeah, reply so we know we're on.
Enjoy,
T-Dog
Date: Mon, 9 Dec
2002 14:35:58 -0800 (PST)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I have risen...um... back
onto the internet. Seriously, I just got my DSL working like 5 seconds
ago.
Once again Tom has succeeded in his daily obliterating of my Yahoo
Mail account with his massive attachments.
Of course it's worth it tho, that movie is damn hilarious.
Thanks to DSL I was able to download it in 10 seconds compared to AOL's rough
estimate of 3 days.
Durand already filled me in on Kwanza Khaos (or as I like to call
it, "Krazy Kwanza Khaos", which would force us to use the horribly
inappropriate acronym of "KKK".) I told him I'd be good to go
assuming there are no blizzarmeteorologicaleterological disasters impending my
three hour drive south.
Speaking of driving south, I live in southern New Hampshire now,
which is kind of strange when you consider that I was born and raised in a town
about a half an hour from here. Add to that the fact that I'm living with
my sister again and it just keeps getting eerier.
Oh well, I have to get back to work on my New Hampshirian
accent. Wicked pissah.
Date: Mon, 9 Dec
2002 14:42:12 -0800 (PST)
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: Re: HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
P.S. If anyone is wondering what
"blizzarmeteorologicaleterological" means, it means that Yahoo Mail's
spell check always ends up maiming my writing to make me look like more of an
idiot than usual. I think I originally said:
"I told him I'd be good to go assuming there are no blizzards
or other meteorological disasters impending my three hour drive south."
Hooray for craptacular technology.
Date: Thu, 12
Dec 2002 13:53:08 -0500
Subject: KHAOS
From: Tom Marks
So, are we down for Sunday, Dec. 22 at 9am?
With Shawn and the Whelans it appears as if we will have a battle
of historic proportions. I'm assuming the current roster is:
IN:
-----
Durand
Hoose
James
T-Dog
Rooney
'Lil Rooney
Don
Rob
Kevin
Shawn
Plank
OUT:
------
Marco
MAYBE:
----------
Bosco
Shmeelz
See your candy asses in 10 days.
T-Dog
Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2002 09:15:09 -0800
From: "Jeff Hoose"
Subject: Re: Kwanza Khaos
It
was indeed a khaotic kwanzaa. I'm still
sore. Now that Kwanza Khaos belongs to
history, who among you will record it on snmfc.com? I wrote up a pair of phony news reports for our past two
events. None of you have actually seen
these articles, but trust me, they were written and will soon be on the page
when it is updated. I'm not feeling it
right now and several of you are better writers. Does anybody feel like throwing together an article and emailing
it to Shawn?
Happy
Boxing Day,
Hoose