Prior To Giblet Jam 2000
From: Jeffrey
Hoose
Subject: Kick in the jiblets 2K
Date: Tue, 07 Nov 2000 04:01:30 GMT
The sun will rise and set but 16 more
times before judgment day.
Earthquakes, Locusts, Angels, Trumpets, Horsemen, Plagues, and
FOOTBALL!
Jiblet Jam: Millennium, the end of all things. Will you be
prepared? Can anyone?
Countdown to Jiblet Jam: Millennium
394 HOURS
11 MINUTES
38 SECONDS
This update on JJ112300 was brought to you by JH420247365
Date: Mon, 06 Nov 2000 23:36:08 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Kick in the jiblets 2K
You're damn right I am ready for Jiblet Jam: Millennium
Edition! I can't imagine a good
thanksgiving without the game! What
game time did you use in your calculations Hoose? I am all for starting early Thanksgiving morning to get more
playing time before having to spend time with the family. I nominate 9 am as game time, anyone second
it?
-Diesel
Durand
P.S. I added Shawn to our recipient list, I noticed he was left
off because he hasn't lived in or near CT in years and thus hasn't been able to
attend. But for those of you who don't
know his mother has moved back to New Hampshire and he is thinking of stopping
in NM Wednesday night to play in the biggest game of the millennium on the
frozen tundra of Hill and Plain school Thursday morning.
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Kick in the jiblets 2K
Date: Tue, 07 Nov 2000 15:00:59 EST
Damn 9am. Even though that's probably when it will be
anyway. Just means I need to use crack a little ealier than
planned. But the eternally damned Mike Shemeley shall make an appearance
this year. Shawn lives? And more Handysidesises in NH, my other
state? How strange. And hooray for the end of all things. God
bless the apocalypse. Just remember, if Bush wins tonight, we are all
fucked. If Gore wins tonight, we are all really fucked. If Nader
wins tonight, then Hoose was a little late on his apocalypse countdown.
And if Buchanan wins, then the whole damn thing is rigged. And in any
event, we still have to hope that the archaic Electoral College votes with the
people. And if the College Democrats call me one more damn time to vote
for Gore, I'm breaking out the Molotov cocktails and my baseball bat of
vengeance to make sure they never pester anyone ever again. And if that
damned Carnivore system is monitoring my email, then the FBI can just cram the
whole fucking internet right up it's ass, and hopefully coughing up my right to
privacy, because I really need it. Pity it only seems to apply to
abortion nowadays. Back in my day, it had more applications.
Also, foreign films are very odd.
Evil Mike Shemeley
Date: Wed, 08
Nov 2000 02:58:10 -0800
From: T-Dog Marks
Subject: Victory!
T-Dog is ready to Jam.
Fueled by his man G.W. coming up big tonight, the T-Dog will be
out to kick some whiney Democrat ass. Lemme guess, it's Nader's fault
that your losers lost by a touchdown right? Or howabout we give you the
game winning score, only to call it back?
All false claims end here. The Dog proposes:
Dems V. GOP
Dems-Pat, Roonz, Plank, Durand
GOP-T-Dog, Shmeelz, Bosco, Dolan, Hoose
Undecideds: Hall, Lucente, Handyside (Where do you people stand?)
Here's to 100% of precints reporting on Nov. 23
Pardon me if I've incorrectly affiliated you...my high school memory
is fading.
-T-Dog
From: Jeffrey
Hoose
Subject: Re: Victory!
Date: Thu, 09 Nov 2000 03:20:40 GMT
In response to tommy's e-mail, I am not
a republican. I voted for Gore, but due only to fact that W completely
scrapes the barrels of sucktitude.
Unless we form a team for latin american guerrilla sympathizers,
move me to the undecided list. I accept assignment to anybody's team, as
Hoose is a bipartisan ass kicker.
From: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 9 Nov 2000 17:40:32 EST
Subject: Re: Victory!
I just figured, I'd let everyone know that I will actually not be
a healthy scratch from the game a country, um er, a county, um er New Milford
will never forget...the only question is will the theisman trophy (which is
sitting in my room) come out of retirement?
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 21:51:35 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Victory!
So what time are we playing Thanksgiving morning? I made a motion
for 9AM, does anyone second that? And
what are the teams going to be? Tommy's
idea of a Democrat vs. Republican game is intriguing but I think the contest
would be a little lopsided seeing as there were more of us who voted for Gore
this year on this email list than Bush (just like the rest of the nation, how
ironic). I think there has to be a better
way of splitting the teams evenly.
Giblet Jam Millennium Edition is only 11 days away, so let's get decide
the teams and game time so the ritual pre-game trash-talking can begin (which
of course will do us no good when we have to repick teams that morning when
someone sleeps in).
-Durand
P.S. Tommy, you mentioned Ben and Kevin in one email, are you
going to invite them/put them on this email list?
Date: Sun, 12
Nov 2000 22:46:04 -0500
From: Marc Lucente
Subject: Kiss my jiblets...
Hello boys,
I would like to
suggest 10 am as our starting time. This would give us a solid three
hours or so before the first family things start, and would also allow those of
us who require sleep to get a full nights ass kickin' stored up for the
inevitable beating that lies for one ill-fated team the next day. That said, I
will see you all soon. Oh, and Durand is on crack.
Later,
Marc
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 23:05:26 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Kiss my jiblets...
Hello All,
I would like to
reiterate my preference for a 9AM starting time, since my family event starts
in Danbury and I will have to leave by noon, only a mere two hours of
football. By starting at 9am, this
gives us a full three+ hours to play and still leaves us time to clean off the
mud before heading going to our respective family celebrations.
-Durand
P.S. And why exactly am I
on crack Marc? For suggesting an early
game time or my political comment that Gore got more votes? (which is purely
factual since he beat Bush in the popular vote despite still possibly losing
the electoral college)
From: [email protected]
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 23:25:42 EST
Subject: Re: Kiss my jiblets...
9 am would be a better time...and let's not get into politics at
this point....got half breed dubya...who thought the electoral college was
where his brother jeb went to school and gore who claims to invented the
electoral college, let's just sit back and relax and watch the circus that has
become america!
-p.s. durand may be on crack...if he is good for him, if he
isn't....no times
better than now.
Date: Sun, 12
Nov 2000 23:38:02 -0500
From: Christopher Rooney
wow plank, that was actually humorous, did you come up with that
yourself?
-chris
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Kiss my jiblets...
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 00:36:09 EST
9am fine with me. bush-gore,
either way they both still got more of the popular vote than clinton. not
that it matters. either one will fuck us, just that the position will be
different. florida can't count, it should not be a state. every
damn recount, a new number, and every damn recount more votes just
appear. how the hell does that work? in an anarcic state, we
wouldnt have to worry about votes. think about it. and i will form
a new country in the disputed zone that makes up my backyard. yeah.
The Eternally Damned Mike Shemeley
From: James C.
Hall
Subject: Re: Kiss my jiblets...
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 09:53:47 -0500
Personally, the J-Dog doesn't care what
time Jiblet Jam: Millennium Edition (presented by AT&T) starts cause
he knows that he'll be able to kick some ass whether the game starts at 9, or
5:30. The Dog is always ready for some football! And as far as
Bush-Gore, they can both fuck themselves. Even Dick Nixon, who lost by a
slim margin in 1960, accecpted it and didn't need to recount every bloody
state. Fuck Bush, Fuck Gore. I'm with Shmeelz on this one, for
once, Bucsemi for Prez in 2004. Now, excuse me while I go have
sex...yes, with a girl.
- Barenaked Hall
From:
"Jeffrey Hoose" <[email protected]>
Subject: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 19:33:19 GMT
Robin Hood opens Wednesday and runs thru
Sunday, so you better believe that Hoose will bring that same regal, flamboyant
swagger, that he brings to the role of Prince John, to the muddy tundra on
11/23. On thanksgiving morning, I'm takin your asses out back, and firin'
em' up!
- Hoose
Date: Tue, 14
Nov 2000 12:02:59 -0800
From: T-Dog Marks
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
All-
I'm glad the trash talking has begun, even though it isn't
directed at anybody
just yet since we haven't picked times. I'd just like to
point out today's USA
Today infographic: Over the past three Jiblet Jams, the team
with Tom Marks has
one three times. Here it is for those of you who can't read:
[Image]
T-Doggious Rex is Coming to Jam your asses!
-T-Dog
P.S. Hoose, sorry I have to miss your show, you should have told
me sooner. Next semester.
P.S.S. Hoose, stop using your pussy-man itimidation Jam tactics on
my sister. I'm unaffected.
P.P.S.S. I've added Ben and Kevin to this list, in hopes that they
will join us for Jiblet Jam 2000 Millenium Edition.
From: Jeffrey
Hoose
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 19:55:05 GMT
May we please proceed with the selecting
of teams for JJ2K: Milennium.
Somebody throw something out there already. Did anyone see
Derek Jeter's vapid self-improvement pamphlet, "The Life You
Imagine." Should have been called, "The Dick That You
Swallow."
"Self-improvement is masturbation" - Brad Pitt in Fight
Club
- Hoose
From: James C.
Hall
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 16:40:42 -0500
I don't care whose team I'm on because all I gotta say is
this. The best cornerback/receiver/quarterback in Penn State-Schuylkill
IM football history (yes, I'm refering to myself) is comin' to town, and he's
lookin' to kick some ass!
Fuck Jeff Kent and his MVP. Where was he in the World
Series? That's right, jerking off.
-J-Dog
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 19:48:35 -0500
Hey,
Teams? So many little details. How about we just all
go out on the field and get into one big old brawl? No teams, every man
for himself, and I'll kick each and every one of your asses. But, should
we stick to football...whatever. I don't care. If an odd number of
people should show, can I be auto defense, so I have a chance of kicking
everyone's ass? But anywhoo...political affiliations (the independents
should find a lesser of two evils) works, or maybe everyone v the
pennsylvanians, or perhaps a race war (divide amongst the more prevalent
ethnicities...durand being part of every group...maybe just go with what makes
up the majority of your blood), or a holy war (believers v infidels...if we
still have enough believers amongst us), hell, we could split by the alphabet
or birthdays if so desired, or even liberal arts v science majors. Of
course, many of these things may not break to even teams, so who the fuck
knows?
"Talking is masturbation without the mess" - Our Lady
Peace
The Eternally Damned Mike Shemeley
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 20:39:10 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in your mouth!
Hello again everyone,
Well I tried taking
several of Mike's ideas about how to split them up into teams and unfortunately
they don't quite split out evenly.
There are 12 people total on this email list (I am assuming everyone can
play, if they can't let us know now) and there are only 4 Pennsylvanians, and
more liberal art majors than science majors.
I am not sure of everyone's belief structure so couldn't work that out
either. Oddly enough, voting preference
this year might work (this doesn't necessarily mean you always side with this
party, just the way you voted this year).
People voting for Gore include Chris Rooney, Myself, Hoose, Pat Rooney
(I assuming you always voted for Gore, correct me if I am wrong), and Jamie (I
believe I remember you saying given the two you would vote for Gore over Bush
during the summer, also let me know if you changed your vote/mind). Voting for Bush we have Tommy, Marc, Ben,
Shemeley, and Dolan (I don't know your affiliation, I am going off what Tommy
listed in his email). That leaves Plank
and Handyside. Plank you traditionally
vote Democrat if I remember correctly, did you also vote for Gore? Shawn didn't vote and didn't have a big
preference between the two candidates (but said if made to choose he would lean
towards Gore). So depending on how
Plank voted we could split him and Shawn up amongst the two teams. So the teams would be:
Gore: The Rooney Brothers, Durand, Hoose, & Hall (5)
Bush: Tommy, Marc, Ben, Kevin, Shmeelz (5)
Tossup: Handyside, Plank (2)
Do these sound like fair teams to everyone? I think they would make for a good
game. Let me know what everyone thinks,
after all game time is just SEVEN DAYS AWAY!!!
Also, did we decide officially, 9AM game time??
-Durand
Date: Fri, 17
Nov 2000 08:45:13 -0500
From: Kevin Dolan
Subject: Re: Shut up bitch, before I put my jiblets in
your mouth!
Hey guys,
Just to let you know, since I guess T-dog didn't fill you in, that
I won't be able to play. Unfortunately the responsibility of serving
people food all day eliminates the possibility of my playing. So, I'm sorry,
and I'll see you guys later.
Kevin
P.S. I voted, and will always vote, Republican.
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 16:30:20 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: It's Jam Time!
Ok, since we all will be heading home shortly, this is the final
pre-game info on Jiblet Jam Millennium Edition. The game will start at 9AM on Thanksgiving Morning on the frozen
tundra (and it will be frozen this year) of Hill & Plain School.
Right now we have ten people playing on this list (eleven if Shawn
decides to play in which case we make Shemeley automatic defense as he
requested). Since no teams could be
decided upon beforehand, we will make teams on the field that morning. If you can't make it, please let us know now
so we know not to expect you that morning.
The Jiblet Jam Forecast released by the National Weather Service
is calling for partly cloudy skies and temps in the low 30's that morning. If I can find my cones I will bring them,
but if anybody else can bring some too that would be great.
Finally, if anyone is interested me and Tommy considered having a
pre-game breakfast jam at the Windmill Diner at 7:45 in the morning. If you want to come to that too, let us
know. See you all soon on the field of
battle.
-Durand
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 16:41:45 EST
Hey you crazy kids...
While Mike is willing to show for 9am to kick some ass, there is
no way in Hell he will be awake and at the diner at 745. But, I'm sure
you may have guessed that.
Mike
Date: Mon, 20
Nov 2000 16:57:19 -0500
From: Marc Lucente
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Hey Fellas,
I'll be home
tonight (Monday) around 1:00 am. So somebody give me a call tomorrow and
we'll get something together. Later boys.
Marco
From:
Christopher M Rooney
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 22:09:28 -0500 (EST)
breakfast before the jam? it'll only slow me down.
-c
From: Benjamin
Darling
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 22:57:10 -0500 (Eastern
Standard Time)
Hey guys,
I'm sorry to say that this year I won't have a chance to repeat
the glory of last year's Giblet Jam. I'll be getting in Wednesday morning
from Virgina, but then I'll be out of town Thursday and Friday for
Thanksgiving. It looks like I'll have to wait until Jingle Jam to make my
return to the frozen tundra of Hill & Plane field.
-Ben
From: Jeffrey
Hoose
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 17:19:52
I propose we replace the pregame meal with BEER ORGY 2K! Wednesday
night,
Live from the basement of Jeff Hoose's parents house, where he now
sleeps, because Grandma threw all of his stuff down there, and replaced it with
her old lady shit.
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: It's Jam Time!
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 12:41:26 -0500
An idea worth my consideration....
However, moderation must be mentioned, as hangovers do not make
for good football. I'm going to kick so many asses anyways, you could try
to make it a challenge by not being ill at game time.
-Mike
Prior To Jingle Jam & the Boxing Day Massacre 2000
From: Jeffrey
Hoose
Subject: Lower the body count by at least 1.
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 04:37:27
Terribly sorry, Boyos, but Hoose will be a no show at the 2000
Boxing Day Massacre, as he will be representing SHU at the World Debate
Tournament in Glasgow. I leave on the 26th and don't come back till the
5th of January.
Basically, the school is paying for the three hardest livin'
members of the Debate society to go to Scotland, argue with some international
nerds for 3 days (while drunk), and spend the remaining 6 days screwing total
strangers (also while drunk). I'M LEAVIN' NEW MILFORD, TIS' THE END OF
ALL OF US, THE MIRACLES OOVER!!!
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 23:58:21 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Re: Lower the body count by at least 1
Well since Hoose is leaving on Boxing Day, will everyone be able
to make the Jingle Jam/Santa Slam game on December 24th??? I am game if everyone else can play.
-Brian
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Lower the body count by at least 1.
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 00:05:01 -0500
I'd assume I'd be there, it's not like I have better plans.
I'll be in New Milford for christsakes, what alternatives would I have?
Date: Wed, 13
Dec 2000 02:01:52 -0800
From: T-Dog Marks
Subject: Re: Lower the body count by at least 1.
The dog is ready to kick all our festivus lovin' asses on both the
24 and the 26th.
And by the way, despite the Jamie-like message, this is T-Dog not
J-Dog
Peace in the Middle East,
Shade in Miami Dade,
T-Dog
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Lower the body count by at least 1.
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 12:51:38 -0500
So many dogs...I'll make you all my bitches.
And, speaking of body counts, after 5 weeks, numerous court
battles, and millions of dollars in legal fees, Al Gore is finally going to
admit defeat. In this time the Mexicans had their election and
inaugurated a president who after something like 70 years wasnt in the ruling
party PRI. Other news that you may have missed because it's not like they
reported on anything else...Eritrea and Ethiopia signed a peace agreement with
the help of the UN (because they're in Africa, this country doesn't give a shit
if they kill eachother), Barak resigned and the Knesset is changing rules
(before the election mind you, not after like we tried) to allow our old buddy
Netenyahu to run, the EU worked out a power sharing agreement, the ISS has
solar panels, stocks took a nosedive, most internet companies are merging or
going under entirely because their hype finally impaled itself on financial
reality, I had my last illegal drinks and first legal ones, Thanksgiving, a
Giblet Jam, no peace in the middle east despite t-dog's wishes, and Clinton
goes to focus on peace in northern ireland, because at least they haven't
destroyed a recent shaky peace agreement that terrorists got a nobel peace
prize for, and the nobel prizes were awarded, the russians are trying to arrest
their version of ted turner for fraud, and the chechens are still pesky, but
because the rebels are the only ones hiding in the mountains, russia can bomb
them all they like, because civilian casulties arent occuring, the government
is spying on our emails, and I think they just launched the KH-12. But
you won't know any of this, because it isn't newsworthy, just like Mother
Teresa's death (it happened when Princess Di died) or Yeltsin's resignation
(Fireworks on new years were oh so much more important). But no reporting
still beats the hideous lies that they usually churn out before they have
things like "facts," like the 25 dead in columbine, or dewey beating
truman, or gore winning florida in a landslide, hillary had 100% of the vote in
new york at one point (and she suggests radical ideas after shes elected like
ending the electoral college...with has been tried 700 time before and failed
to reform or abolish it, and how she won't run for president in 2004...and I have
20 bucks that says that's a crock of shit), and the election actually being
over on election day of all things, thats all the news that's fit to print...or
broadcast or upload.
Censorship Joe must be happy though, he still has his job and
keeps the Senate at 50/50.
All that wonderful crap. God bless America, despite the
separation of church and state, lies dont get in the way of freedom of the
press, the right to privacy only applies to abortion, tobacco companies are
forced to air ads against their product while states extort money from them
under the guise of health costs in order to build casinos, stadiums, and roads,
all monuments of health and cleanliness. This plane of reality is a lie
built on lies. Acknowledge that, because the truth may not set you free,
but at least you won't be deluding yourself, and you will be prepared when it
all unravels.
The Eternally Damned Mike Shemeley
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 19:23:59 -0500
From: Brian Durand
Subject: Jingle Jam/Santa Slam
Hey Guys,
What's happening
for the Jingle Jam (or Santa Slam if you prefer)? I assume we are all available to play this Sunday on Christmas
Eve? Since things often start later on
Xmas Eve than on Thanksgiving, I think we can also start the game a little
later. How does this sound, we play
this Sunday at NOON on the frozen tundra of Hill & Plain school. If there are any problems with this late of
a game time, reply and we can move it up.
Also, when is
everyone else getting home this week? Jeff, Jamie, Marc, and myself are already
in New Mildew, see the rest of you soon.
-Brian
From: CCMNYR2
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 19:28:11 EST
Subject: Re: Jingle Jam/Santa Slam
As the white man usually does, he is taking advantage of my
people...aka---ME. I will be working on xmas eve or sexmas eve, which
ever you prefer and also the day after....so i will unfortunately be out of
commission, but will be ready to rejoin the circus of events when the summer
games roll around...sorry.
bowski
From: Mike
Shemeley
Subject: Re: Jingle Jam/Santa Slam
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 19:57:01 -0500
well kids...
noon works for me, i usually wake up by then. i will be able
to play both days...as landscapers dont work in winter. i get back either
wednesday thursday or friday. im not sure. i'll let you know if a
more specific time is found.
From: Marks,
Thomas
Subject: RE: a dumb little bit of info
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 18:22:44 -0500
The T-Dog is home and very upset about the way things worked out
during Jiblet Jam. He will have his revenge.
High Noon, The Frozen Tundra of H&P...I'll be there
P.S. Jamie, wear a shirt that will last the whole game this time,
will you?
Peace in the Middle East,
T-Dog
From: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 20:25:20 EST
Subject: Re: a dumb little bit of info
yeah..maybe at this football game one of u can stop me on a play
or something.. i get tired of always scoring...
From: Marks,
Thomas
Subject: RE: a dumb little bit of info
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 11:18:48 -0500
> i get tired of always scoring...
Don't worry, it's just one game. As soon as we're off the
field you won't have to worry about scoring anymore. Unless you work out
the detail of that cock sucking contest.
-Dog
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 15:14:18
-0500
From: Shawn Handyside
Subject: a dumb little bit of holiday cheer
Wow! That was harsh... even for a comment by the T-Dog on the J-Dog...
Altho, did you know that J-Dog has a girlfriend? I, the S-Dog, didn't
believe it either until I met her. And even then I didn't believe
it... I just assumed J-Dog paid her to say that, or that she was one of
those holograms from Star Trek. Of course either way, it's still in
question whether he is scoring off the field or not...
Oh and S-Dog had another question... did T-Dog have his Festivus party
yet? Does T-Dog have Festivus parties anymore? Does T-Dog let J-Dog
and X-Pac come to the X-Mas parties? S-Dog is curious.