HIROSHIMA YEAH!
issue 44
October 2008


Welcome to our "gorgeous, kick-ass zine" (not OUR words, but those of esteemed reader Andrew Willshaw). This month's cover star is
Grant, #1 of our HY! Hunks. Grant's hobbies are corporate banking, foreign travel and indie rock. If YOU want to be a future HY! Hunk (or HY! Honey)
then send us a pic along with a few details and it will be seen by, literally, a
FEW people. Come share this joyous hell with us, friends. This issue by Mark Ritchie and
Gary Simmons.

FARAWAY THINGS
Nettle stings and bloody knees
did not faze us
as we ran through fields of tall grass,
our bare pink legs eagerly
carrying us on to the next adventure.
The landscape of our lives
seemed to stretch out forever
before us,
swallowing up the days
with colour, movement and easy joy.
Far off in the distance,
we could see houses and chimneys
that sent smoke curling elegantly,
endlessly
into a blazing red sky.
But houses and chimneys and smoke
belonged to other people
then
and had nothing to do with us.
Or so we thought.

THIS MOMENT
This moment
is going, going,
gone.
A photograph won't capture it,
neither will an audio recording.
This moment
is elusive, mysterious,
precious.
It exists around you,
within you,
in spite of you.
This moment
belongs to you
and to you alone.
Embrace it,
you fool,
because soon
it will have disappeared
forever.

CROISSANTS AND DEATH
The clock on the wall tells him
that it is 9.37am in Paris.
I wonder if anyone in Paris is bored,
he thinks.
I wonder if anyone in Paris is hungover,
coming apart at the seams
under a grey September sky,
worrying about illness,
ageing and death.
No, he decides,
I bet they're all eating croissants
in pavement caf�s,
strolling idly around art galleries,
wearing their Gallic indifference
like an Armani suit,
perfectly tailored
but impossible to remove.
The clock on the wall tells him
that it is 9.38am in Paris.
He yawns and goes back to sleep.

CARVED WOODEN HORSE
The carved wooden horse observes the room,
blankly,
dreaming of better days
when it had roots and leaves
and life.
It stares sadly down
at our weak humanity,
at all our silly little rituals.
But, once we are gone,
the carved wooden horse springs to life,
swishes its tail
and trots around the place for a while,
stiffness loosening,
nostrils twitching.
Surveying its kingdom with huge, dark eyes,
it feels free,
free from its prison
at last.

13.7 BILLION YEARS OF HELL
Selected Dispatches from an Unwilling Player of God�s Little Game
By Gary Simmons

For the record, I also got into a fight with some nigger in Charing Cross Road yesterday, something his bitch said to me and I told him to �Fuck off, you fuckin� arsehole�. He punched me to the ground. In Camden, I was walkin� about with some bloke I hooked up with but �punk� Tom came out of the ex-Dev and kicked my ass, saying �You paedophile NONCE!� Hated in London! That�s me. It�s all very upsetting, considering all I�ve ever tried to do is be honest and friendly. It�s almost as if all these people are speaking another language� THEY don�t understand ME and I don�t understand THEM! I want GUNS, BOMBS, RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS, I�ll contaminate Camden for the next 1000 YEARS, I�ll blow �em all to kingdom FUCK, I�ll work for Al Qaeda as a secret agent. My enemy�s enemy is my friend. I MUST be RIGHT!!
*
I hope it�s HELL on the 11th floor of * and *�s tower block. The whole building is surrounded by scaffolding for the new windows. All sorts of terrorist atrocities are welcome. Let�s shut the Yank UP! I�ve never known such a horrible couple since Ian and Myra! She (not Myra!) has NO friends, but at 14 was involved with the Combat 18 crew. She met him (not Ian!) on the internet� now I�m wondering if it was a NAZI site. I don�t believe a fuckin� WORD he�s told me. I�ve seen him bullshit people before and it�s hideous and ugly. I ain�t no fuckin� angel but I DO have a conscience. He�ll go along with anything you say with his smarmy Yank smile� he�s Bush�s SON!! It�s all FALSE. Guess I just liked the novelty of havin� someone in my area who dressed �similar� and shit. Alas, I�d rather be alone. He told ME if he had a gay son he�d give him a bash. Nice, eh? She is �100% straight�, she told me. Well, the master race IS!! (100% straight, that is). Dunno what she thought of M snogging with some dyke outside the Dev back in January. They have all this right wing music, Johnny Rebel (?) and shit, which they played to me before their 4 black �friends� turned up. She is always on about �the Jew who works in the Eagle�� yet they are passionate about Spurs (the �Yids�??) She�s had physical fights with her mum. All HE wants to do is smoke pot (er, as opposed to drinkin� beer!!) God, you COULD do more, like WRITE or READ� and they cover themselves in shit �tats�. Such individualism. (I had the same no-tat conversation with Nick and Tony of Diary). He don�t fuckin� STOP chatting-up women, to the point of fuckin� OBSESSION, yet then he�s all protective of his �wife� coz I said something SHE didn�t like, after giving them 7�s, tapes, HY!s, DBs, cider, moved their shit, gave her �120 Days�, gave him �Withnail and I�� you�d think they�d give me a BIT of leeway. She was REALLY pissed off when I spilt beer� it wasn�t carpet either, it was that wooden flooring that is EASY to clean. You should see the shit-hole her parents live in. The bog looks like it�s never been cleaned� Oh, AND we gave them an armchair, a kettle AND I took their old TV to the dump. AND they never bothered to return the umbrella I lent �em once coz it was raining while we spoke outside my house. HIS only �friends� are the local (tagged, so they had to be in by 8pm) drug-dealers and the guys at Greggs, who he says aren�t his real friends anyway. Of course, I AM! �You�re my best mate, Gal� is nothing but 2 cups of Sainsbury�s 4.7% cider talking. On his 26th birthday, oh, how we were gonna go �MAD�� but he was ill after 2 pints in the Elephant�s Head (pre me being barred!) and SHE had to take him home. Or was it coz she ORDERED him to go home, whilst I was in the bog?? 3 years in London and he�d never been to Picadilly Circus, Leicester Square, British Museum� only coz SHE got into a mood and went home did I �take him� to see the fuckin� sights (Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, etc, etc). She ALWAYS gets into a mood. She�s a fuckin� MONSTER!! He told me that SHE rules her mum and dad�s house. Okay, I�ve finished with them. In more ways than one.
*
If I had to deal with a JOB, as well as deal with all this other SHIT, I�d have topped myself by now. I could easily get �done over�, I have a fatwa over my head, just like Salmon Rushed-tea. I heard that book he wrote (forgot the name) was BORING. Oh, �Satanic Verses�, wasn�t it? I REALLY don�t know EXACTLY what�s been said about me in Camden-�punk�-land. Just coz I brought Adrian Lyne�s �Lolita� to Carlos and Gabby�s for Christmas so SHE has spread some rumours about me to the other CUNTS. She�s evil too. *�s evil twin. Aren�t women BITCHES!? I did give her a couple of HY!s� maybe THAT did it? Why ARE they punks? I was punk 13 YEARS before she was BORN! She�s got a baby that her mum�s taken away to Lithuania coz Gabby don�t want it. I think. It�s all pretty nasty, really. But not as nasty as Jeremy Irons in Adrian Lyne�s �Lolita�. That�s REAL degraded, pornographic, child-abusing FILTH! You can buy it in HMV.

FELLOWGAPCREEP�S �MOST OF YOU ARE TOO BUSY WATCHING HOME AND AWAY AND EASTENDERS, COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WORLD CUP, DRINKING YOUR ALCOHOL, TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING� PLAYLIST
WHITEHOUSE � LIVE ACTION 22, 1ST JULY 1983, ROEBUCK, LONDON, UK. Cassette (Or, as I previously mentioned in the last issue of HY! (fuckin� BUY it!) 14/22 �official� bootleg LP. This is the gig in which the doors of the venue-above-the-Roebuck pub were barricaded and all Hell broke loose, ending in a police raid while Whitehouse were only halfway into the throes of Anal American. Further chaos ensued, resulting in many arrests, including Whitehouse manager Jordi Valls who got banged-up for the night for barring access to the fuzz. Whitehouse themselves eventually slipped out quietly, all their equipment tucked under their arms!
Venue manager (?) � �What�s all this about, young Philip?�
Philip Best � �What?�
�Takin� the PISS out of me, son!�
�I�m not.�
�You�re fuckin� JOKIN�! Ya wouldn�t let me in the fuckin� door ya CUNT!�
�I didn�t tell �em to do that.�
�You got fuckin� EYES in yer �ead, avn�t ya?!�
�Well, I didn�t know he was doin� that.�
�If these boys wern�t �ere I�d wipe the fuckin� walls wiv you, ya CUNT!�
Fuzz (?) � �Watch ya language, watch ya language. Just calm down.�
Unknown � �Tape�s still running, tape�s still running� tape�s still running!�
This is, without doubt, one of music�s finest moments. A classic. Ok, now I�m off to the airport, banner-handed, to welcome home The Leader from prison in Vietnam. �Did you miss me?� YEAH!!)
WHITEHOUSE � TOTAL SEX. Dbl LP (Gorgeous vinyl reissue of Whitehouse�s 2nd album from 1980. Like the 1994 CD reissue before it, this includes the tracks Her Entry and Foreplay, originally from the United Dairies compilation album Hoisting the Black Flag. Get Total Sex from Justin at www.coldspring.co.uk But you MUST! Very Friendly. 2008)
SUTCLIFFE J�GEND � THE FALL OF NATURE. CD (Commences with universe-completely-surrounding-you whine �n� drone. Do YOU believe in whine �n� drone? Call me a wanker, but I do (believe in whine �n� drone, that is). AND I�ll stand up for what I believe in! Tie up young Marky and take off his clothes, WOOARGHH!! Listen to Kevin! Listen to Paul! Take some digital PICTURES! Record the SMIRKS� of 36 year-old Marky! Another chickens METHS. Oh, and then it becomes all Whitehousian and Nurse With Woundian, re 150 Murderous Passions-esque� AND worse. What MORE do you want? Hell on Earth? You GOT it. Exquisite! Ground Fault Recordings/Hospital Productions. 2008)

MUSIC
EELS � USELESS TRINKETS (GEFFEN)
Aaaawwwww, this is just BEAUTIFUL (and, at �18 from Fopp, so it fuckin� SHOULD be! Mind you, HMV wanted �24 for it, so�) It�s two CDs and one DVD stuffed with �B-Sides, Soundtracks, Rarities and Unreleased� spanning a head-spinning 56 tracks which very soon establishes itself as a CLASSIC compilation in the tradition of �Hatful of Hollow� and �Incesticide� rather than a mere shoddy cash-in. As well as LOADS of lost classics like the title track, �Manchester Girl�, �Skywriting�, �Her�, �Sad Foot Sign� and �Saw a UFO�, there are also plenty of bizarro moments, including the Moog Cookbook remix of �Novocaine for the Soul� (which sounds like they roped in  Prof. Stephen Hawking on guest vocals) and the SILLY �Vice President Fruitley�. Throw in some inspired covers of songs by Screamin� Jay Hawkins, Prince and Daniel Johnston and a gorgeous 76-page colour booklet containing a tonne of photos and typewritten song notes by E and this all adds up to a VERY useFUL trinket INDEED. HA!

NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS � OMPHALOS! (SOLEILMOON)
What can you SAY about instrumental music? I�ve probably exhausted every angle in the BOOK-of-angles over the course of reviewing all the CDs by Nocturnal Emissions that I�ve reviewed in the last few issues of HY! But, here I go AGAIN, one last time� This disc contains nine tracks that inhabit a peaceful, satisfying drone zone where all your Ketamine-induced nightmares are washed away on a tide of mellow vibes. Which is NOT to say that this is the kind of SHIT your average back-of-the-bus-teen would stick on to �chill out� at the end of a hard day�s pensioner-mugging. This is TASTEFUL and, even when the odd BEAT is introduced, it�s still not gonna rouse you from your blissful coma. And yeah, the band�s name�s a reference to wet dreams... hur hur.

RYAN ADAMS � SUICIDE HANDBOOK
Well, it�s taken seven YEARS but I�ve FINALLY got myself a copy of this unreleased bootleg of acoustic/piano/singer-songwriter GENIUS (easily downloadable, if you�re that way inclined, but I do EVERYTHING the HARD way). A few tracks, such as the heartbreaking �Dear Chicago�, have since made it onto official Ryan Adams albums but there are still lots of previously unheard (by ME, at least) gems here like �Cracks in a Photograph�, �Miss Sunflower�, �Idiots Rule the World� and �For No One� that make you ponder the question: How can Mr. Adams afford to throw away so many fucking WONDERFUL songs?

FRAM � THIS IS HOW WE LIVE NOW (EAST GRAND RAPIDS)
www.fram.org.uk / www.myspace.com/ukfram
Glasgow � it�s not JUST a city of shocking acts of random violence, rape, murder and track-suited scum blasting out pishy rave �music� on their mobiles as they swig Buckfast tonic wine. Oh NO� Glasgow is ALSO the hometown of Fram, five upstanding individuals who peddle a style of glacial rock music which should have fans of Red House Painters, The Blue Nile and American Music Club swooning in the aisles of Lidl (and I AM a fan of ALL those bands, so I should KNOW!) Dunno if the �impossible without E� reference on the cover of this nine-song CD relates to the band�s love of ingesting illegal drugs or not but, either way, you really ought to familiarise yourself with this shining Glaswegian beacon.

DIARY � GROWING OLD AND ABSURD IN EAST LONDON
London - it�s not JUST a city of shocking acts of random violence, rape, murder, etc. Operating away from the glare of the media�s shiny spotlight (and, astonishingly, with hardly ANY internet presence at ALL) are Diary and this is their 2006-CD-that-was-recorded-in-1998. Their sound? Well, it�s a bit like a bloke in a pub telling you stories over the pleasant clattery din of a Velvet Underground tribute band playing in the background. The bloke is John Plant and his tales from London�s seedy underbelly (featuring meths-guzzling UFO-spotters, shoplifters and lots and lots of drinking) are inspired, amusing and often rather beautiful. Like perfectly formed little short stories, really. There is much to love here, from �Coldharbour Light� and �Mile End Wasted� to �Docklands Light Railway Children� (a fucking BRILLIANT title) and the fetching cover of Lou Reed�s �Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams�.

VARIOUS � MAD PRIDE: NUTTERS WITH ATTITUDE (MAD PRIDE)
This is a 2001 compilation of 20 songs performed by people who are �not exactly the full ticket�, according to the sleeve-notes, and there�s plenty of punky/garagey goodness from the likes of Skinny Millionaires, Shockheaded Peters, Nikki Sudden, Alternative TV, Citizen Fish and PAIN on display. Other notable mentions must go to Hysteria Ward (a somewhat distressed Blondie), The Astronauts (whose singer sounds like Robert Wyatt), Sarah O�Driscoll (her �The Woman By the Tree� is LOVELY), The Long Decline (a lo-fi Brit Beach Boys with a cameo from Vic Godard), The Fish Brothers (silly but FUNNY) and the legendary Ceramic Hobs. The two finest tracks, however, are all pedal-steely and country-ish and GORGEOUS and they are The Arlenes� �Dr Love� (produced by Morrissey cohort Boz Boorer, no less) and Jack Hudson�s �Someone Who Knows�. Jack�s song is absolutely sodding BEAUTIFUL and sounds like a long-lost country CLASSIC! Who the hell IS this guy? And WHY isn�t he a STAR? Oh, and did anyone see the recent repeat of the brill 1994 drama �Takin� Over the Asylum� about a radio station set up in a Glasgow psychiatric hospital starring Ken Stott as an alky double glazing salesman and a pre-fame David Tennant as a manic-depressive whose catchphrase is �We are loonies and we are proud�? Watching it again after all these years, I was struck by the parallels it has with this Mad Pride lot. It�s finally out on DVD and I�d recommend that you see it.

DON CAMPAU � DIVIDED NATION
ANDREW MAURER � EVERYTHING LOW AND HIGH
ERIC WALLACK � UNREQUITED BEWILDERMENT (LONELY WHISTLE) www.doncampau.com
Here are three new releases from Don Campau�s lovely Lonely Whistle label. �Divided Nation� sees our hero rocking the house with �9 high energy songs heralding a return to Campau�s punky roots�. These are songs about foreign travel (�Djakarta Get Out�), growing old but feeling young (�Boy�), scumbag so-called �friends� (�Betrayed�) and the state of one very particular nation (the title track� and can I just take this opportunity to say GO, OBAMA! PLEASE America, don�t let that nut-job Sarah Palin anywhere NEAR the seat of power with her wacky pro-life-unless-you�re-unlucky-enough-to-be-born-non-human-or-non-white views� haven�t we had ENOUGH of these evil, right-wing bigots to last us a LIFETIME?) There�s a certain flow and energy to this release that makes it one of Don Campau�s very best. Andrew Maurer�s �Everything Low and High� is brimming with folky charm, all bright acoustic guitars and rustic imagery. He�s especially affecting when joined by the backing vocal talents of Robin O�Brien and Mary Washburn on songs like �Dove�, �The Penguin Song� and �Seeing Like Monet�. Very accomplished and VERY nice. On paper, Eric Wallack�s �ambitious 365 project where he recorded one song a day for a full year� may sound like a recipe for disaster. Well, they surely can�t ALL have been winners but, thankfully, the 20 songs that make up this CD are all delightful, gentle acoustic ditties with wonderful lyrics like �Ohio is a heart that no longer beats/kept alive by trains pumping its criss-crossing veins and sad eyed summer slaves to the catsup trade�. These are songs for late night dreamers to snuggle up close to, once the cocaine buzz has worn off, for when the tiredness hits you and suddenly you�re drained, spent, staring at a half full (half empty?) glass, longing for bed, longing for mercy. You drink it down, carry on. What else can you do? As Eric observes, on his final, beautiful song, �We all get here eventually�.

BOOKS
RUSSELL BRAND � MY BOOKY WOOK (HODDER)
Like Marmite and anal sex, Russell Brand is an acquired taste. �You don�t like THAT cunt, do you?� my pub mate James asked after being shown my newly purchased half-price-in-Borders copy of this �Booky Wook�. �Of COURSE I like him,� I replied. �Or I wouldn�t have just bought THIS, WOULD I?!?� Russell�s frequently hilarious Saturday night Radio 2 show has become one of the highlights of my week and here he writes chattily and candidly about his life, from frighteningly early porn obsession to drink/drug addiction/drying-out clinic via dole queue and drama school. This has simply got to be THE best �celebrity� autobiography of recent years, alongside Mark Oliver Everett�s �Things the Grandchildren Should Know� (er, not that I�ve actually READ any other recent �celebrity� autobiographies� though I DID buy the Gail Porter one for my mum) and Russell B is well on his way to becoming a national TREASURE. Still, I�m GLAD loads of people hate him. It proves my theory that most people are MORONS with NO FUCKING TASTE.

HARUKI MURAKAMI � BLIND WILLOW, SLEEPING WOMAN (VINTAGE)
Sometimes there just aren�t enough hours in the day to read a novel, so thank FUCK for short stories. Although I�ve been a huge fan of Murakami�s novels for years, this is the first collection of his shorter fiction I�ve read and it�s an absolute stunner. From the �Tales of the Unexpected� style creepiness of �Nausea 1979� to the vaguely silly �Dabchick� right through to the bleak fairytale of �The Ice Man� and the just plain WEIRD �A �Poor Aunt� Story�, each of these stories is rendered in a calm, clear style which simultaneously soothes and stimulates the brain. So, FUCK Mishima and all his dullard imitators, here�s the TRUE giant of Jap lit. Treasure him.

GIGS
AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB / PETER BRUNTNELL - STEREO, GLASGOW, 5TH SEPTEMBER 2008
Saw mum before she went to work. Made noodles, toast and coffee and read the paper then watched some �Wright Stuff�. It was nice and sunny but it said on the news that a whole MONTH�S worth of rain would fall during the course of the day. Actually, though, it didn�t really amount to much at all. Had a shower, went next door to say bye to Moira. The dogs followed me in so I gave them some doggy treats. Had some rice for lunch and watched �Judge Judy�. Got a busy 11.40 bus to Lanark and then a busy 12.15 bus to Glasgow. Had texts from Natalie and the two Garys. Walked back to the flat and pottered about for a while before walking BACK into town. Had a pasty from Greggs and ended up in the �Shoe. James was there so I stood at the bar with him and had 5 pints of Velvet. A dressed-down-for-Friday Drunken Eyes was in with his pals. Andy from work showed up too but I fucked off to get �regular fries� from Burger King in Central Station and then to the Admiral where Natalie�s leaving do was in full swing. John, Lola and Lauren all said they�d missed me at work and John showed me a picture he�d drawn of me, which was pretty funny. I had a cider but felt a bit awkward, as I often do in crowds, so I told Natalie I was slipping off and that I�d see her before she goes to Spain in a couple of weeks. It was raining when I left and I saw Magic Mark coming out of work with an umbrella. Walked past Stereo and saw Vudi getting something out of the AMC mobile. Went back to the �Shoe for another Velvet. It was PACKED. James had gone but Drunken Eyes remained. I left when he did and saw him going into St Enoch subway station. Went to Stereo for 8pm and saw Vudi sitting staring at a laptop (later, Eitzel would tell a story about some girl coming up to him while he was doing the same thing and asking to borrow his hat!) Saw Scot with a pal, so they were my gig companions for the evening. Scot said he�d emailed me. I drank Bulmers. We went downstairs to watch Peter Bruntnell�s solo acoustic set. I was a bit disappointed, really. He sounds better with a band. Sloped off to the loo and passed Eitzel on the stairs. Tried to buy a fetching blue AMC T-shirt from some Yank woman but she said she didn�t know what she was doing and I�d be better coming back later. Got another drink downstairs and Eitzel passed again. By this time, Scot�s mate Nancy had showed up. We went down the front and witnessed a FANTASTIC set from an AMC line-up that included Eitzel JUST singing, not playing guitar, and doing the old dropping to his knees bit in a white shirt JUST like the old days, Vudi on guitar, some unknown guy on OTHER guitar, the drummer who�s on the recent album and a woman who looked like she�d just stepped out of a business meeting playing the bass. They did loads of oldies, including �Apology for an Accident� (provoking a furious round of flashbulbs, which pissed Eitzel off. He mock posed for them and changed the words to �I hate to see all your photographs go to waste�), �Nightwatchman�, �Royal Caf�, �Outside This Bar�, �Gratitude Walks�� fucking AMAZING! The only newer songs I recall were �All My Love�, the stunning �The Stars� and the closing �Windows on the World�. A really great gig and I�m GLAD I forgot to take a mini-disc with me �cos it meant I wasn�t worrying about the recording. Anyway, LAST time I recorded them, it was SHIT quality. (Later on, I read some web page bitchings about the shortness of the set due to the club having a DJ coming on after the band, but I can�t say I noticed at the time). Bought a T-shirt off the terribly nice drummer. A BARGAIN for �10. Discussed the gig and general AMC things over drinks upstairs� me, Scot, Nancy and the other guy (AND this guy at the bar I got chatting to). When I left, Eitzel and the bass chick were loading up their van so I took the opportunity to get a photo (�Take one with me and my bass player,� Mark said, before telling me she was in the support band when they played Oran Mor in February. He said something about AMC sucking that night). I shook their gorgeous, talented hands and told Mark it�s great that he keeps playing in Glasgow rather than Edinburgh (which, I later realised, probably means that he�ll DELIBERATELY play Edinburgh next time!) Got a subway back. Was in at 11.30pm. Tried to watch a bit of TV but was too drunk/happy/sleepy. I fuckin� LOVE American Music Club!

SUN KIL MOON - STEREO, GLASGOW, 15TH SEPTEMBER 2008
It rained. It rained a LOT. My alarm went off at 6am. Got ready and left. It was still dark. No bus came for ages then, like the clich�, three came along at once. Worked from 7am. Alan started half an hour later so I chatted to him as it doesn�t really get busy that early. Then Lauren came in, then John, then Lola. On my first break, I went to Crumbs for a roll. On my lunch-break, I thought I saw John McMaster in the Sir John Moore but I couldn�t be sure. Went to Greggs and WH Smith for a gander at some mags. After work, I went to the �Shoe. Sam walked in just before me, so I had a few pints with him and James. Sam said that Action Line had closed down and that Jo and Anne Marie are now out of work. He also told us about this armed police response unit that was outside his flat the other week. And we discussed how going to work with a hangover is better than staying in bed with a hangover. Drunken Eyes was also in. Sam and James left at about 7.20pm or so, and I had another pint on my own (my sixth). Went to get money out an ATM then ate an apple in the upstairs �Shoe bog. Went over to Stereo at 8pm. Colin ex-of-Eska was working behind the bar so I chatted to him briefly and got myself a cider. Went downstairs, stopping off at the merch table to buy a �10 CD called �Mark Kozelek � 7 Songs Belfast� (which is actually SIX songs from Belfast and one from Manchester, recorded on his solo UK tour from last year). Went down the front �cos I thought Sun Kil Moon were about to come on but it was a local guy with an acoustic guitar who was kinda good and a bit Neil Young-ish. Don�t know his name but I skipped some of his set to go upstairs to the toilet (I always end up in the ladies one� it�s CONFUSING, this venue) and to get another drink. The �NO PHOTOGRAPHY OR MOBILE PHONES DURING SHOW� sign and lack of strobes or ANY lighting changes at ALL made me wonder if Kozelek is an epileptic. Hmmm. SKM were GREAT, played for two hours, did �Make Like Paper�, �Duk Koo Kim�, �Tonight the Sky�, �Mistress�, �River�� SO many fine, fine songs. I pondered the fact that Koz looks a bit like Ted Danson and, during �Glenn Tipton�, he amusingly admonished the drummer for playing a �Lyle Lovett beat� that �sucked� and changed the lyrics to include Scottish boxing legend Ken Buchanan. He also referenced his last Glasgow show, last Halloween, and said �I forgot to bring my Halloween mask this time. I thought that was funny but you guys were all mad at me�. (See HY!#34 for details). It was a fantastic gig that ended with the song �Blue Orchids�. Got a subway back. Found a �1 coin. Was back at 11.45pm.

TRICK OR TREAT

Dear Holly,

Well, I�ve been here a couple weeks now and I don�t think I�ve seen the sun once. In a way, it�s good coz the curtains in my room are so thin, they let in any tiny spec of light. I finish my shift at 6, just before the sun comes up, and I�m always so tired that I just have a can of beer and then crash out.

The place where I�m living is OK. It�s called The Hidalgo and I know that sounds like it�s Mexican but, really, there�s not one Mexican thing about the whole place. It�s run by this short, fat, bald guy from New York and his daughter. At least, I HOPE it�s his daughter! He�s always out on the front steps smoking cigars and she sits behind the desk looking as if she�s about to drop dead of boredom. Still, the rent�s cheap and that�s the main thing.

Let me tell you about what happened the other night. I had the night off � I only get one night off a week, which sucks � and I decided to go down to this local bar. I can�t remember what it�s called, even though I pass the damn place every day� Anyway, I put on my new red shirt (the one you bought me right before I left) and I splash on some after-shave and go down to this bar. Well, I walk in and everyone�s just STARING at me. It takes a second or two for it to register, but I notice that they�re all dressed up in costume � the Wolf Man, Dracula, Frankenstein, all that. It was Halloween and I didn�t even realize! So, anyway, I instantly become the topic of everyone�s conversation � they were all coming up to me with the exact same line, �What have YOU come as?� Honestly, it was quite funny the first couple times it happened, but it got old pretty fast. Still, a few people bought me drinks and I got talking to this one guy who was dressed as Thor. You know, the guy from the old comics? He had a long blonde wig on and a hat with horns on it and a big rubber hammer. He looked pretty stupid, to tell you the truth, but he bought me a beer and he seemed like a nice enough guy. He was telling me a bit about the town and all the grisly things that had happened there� Apparently, years before, some guy went nuts and killed his whole family in the motel that I�m staying in! How do you like that? The guy � Thor, I mean � was telling me all about it. About how one of the cops was so traumatized by it that he committed suicide by blowing his head off with a rifle.

By the time I left the bar, I was pretty drunk, and I lost my way waking back to the motel. All the streets here look the same. It�s a bit like in that movie �Blue Velvet�, with white picket fences and all that shit. Next thing I know, there are all these kids coming toward me, all dressed up for Halloween. Some of them were real young but others were probably in their mid-teens and they�re all dressed in black, with long trench-coats on and fake blood all over their faces. One of them had his face painted green. �Trick or treat�, one of the older guys says to me. I fumble about in my pockets but I don�t have any spare change on me� I guess I must�ve spent it all at the bar. So I try to explain this to them and the guy with the green face reaches into his coat and pulls out a pistol! To be honest, I was pretty scared, even if I WAS wasted. The guy holds it right up to my face and then he smiles at me, all crazy like, and then he pulls the trigger! Only it�s one of those trick guns that has a little flag coming out the end that says �Bang!� Then they all start laughing and run away.

Well, I eventually found my way back to the motel but I had some weird dreams that night. I dreamt that the guy who went mad and killed his family had come back to haunt the place. He was chasing all these kids dressed as vampires through the hallways� To be honest, though, I don�t even remember if the guy dressed as Thor had mentioned anything about that guy killing HIMSELF, so he might still be alive for all I know� Anyway, I woke up in a cold sweat a couple times and was really relieved when it was daylight�

You know what, though? I STILL didn�t get to see the sun, coz it rained all day long!

See you in December,

J.T.
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