Once the end credits had rolled, I had a shower and got dressed. Then I made some breakfast. Curried noodles on toast with a cup of coffee.
I pulled open the curtains. It was another extremely sunny day. We�d been having a lot of those, even though it was still only March. I didn�t mind so much. It was better than rain. I still wore my black woolen hat whenever I went outside, to cover up the scars on my forehead (the results of a car accident I had been in some months before) which earned me the occasional strange look from passers by (or maybe I was just being paranoid. After all, plenty people wear hats, no matter what the weather is like).
The sun always brought more people out � wearing fewer clothes than usual. I walked down the road to the post office to cash my income support book (I had been on the sick ever since the accident � at first due to a broken leg and then because of my facial scars and the depression they brought upon me).
The queue was as long as usual. About 10 or 11 people standing in line, waiting. Students with large parcels to be sent overseas, old ladies with pension books to cash, middle-aged housewives with telephone bills to pay, men with car insurance forms. On and on. I looked around at the familiar surroundings � the expensive greeting cards in the rack. �Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Wife�, �With Deepest Sympathy�, �Ten Years Old Today�.
When I finally made it up to a window to cash my book, the woman behind the glass asked if I had any ID. I was a regular face in the place and I knew that she recognised me, but I pulled out my bank card anyway and watched as she counted out my cash. �109.30 for two weeks. Ridiculous, but I still felt good when I had it safely in my pocket.
I walked across the road to Safeway and bought a pint of milk and a couple of items of food. I was in and out quickly, as supermarkets annoyed me. Too many people, not enough space. I used to love them � the choice, the freedom. Now they were just another chore, but at least they were cheaper than corner shops.
I also bought a bottle of �2.99 white wine which I then took to the river, situated right across the street from where I was living.
The sun sparkled on the water as I sat on a bench and drank the wine right out of the bottle. A woman walked past with around 10 dogs on leashes. A golden labrador stopped to sniff at the top of my bottle and I patted it for a moment. Two young guys were sitting further down the bank, throwing stones into the water as they chatted.
I looked up at the clear blue sky and then down again at the dirty water which, nonetheless, looked beautiful and clean with the sunlight reflected on it. Still drinking the wine. It was strange having absolutely nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to see. Sometimes it was a nice feeling. Other times it felt like the worst way to exist. This particular day, I felt a mixture of both those emotions. I could think of plenty places where I would rather be, but also, lots of places where would be worse. All in all, it was just fine to be sitting alone by a river in the afternoon sun drinking wine. There was nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all.