A 20 minute video, widescreen no less (or has the top and bottom just been clipped off?!), by Italian film maker Marco Farina. Marco is also responsible for the accompanying �noise� soundtrack, performing as I.M.D.P. (Il Mestruo Delle Puttane). I always feel that, whatever you think about Marco�s actual films, the packaging invariably lets the side down, this video�s �sleeve� being simply an ill-fitting, badly photocopied and barely legible piece of paper wrapped around the cassette and bundled into a snap-seal plastic bag. Tacky. You would have thought that, after going to the expense of buying all that video camera kit and the trouble of making the film, forcing your girly (I assume it�s his misses) to commit those unspeakable and unnatural sex acts, clearing up the blood, the piss, the jizz, ants and dead animals afterward, that the final product would justify a decent bit of packaging? Hmmm�obviously I stand to be �corrected�, Mr. Grady.
This B & W video begins with a scene of a rubber gloved split crotch legginged/stockinged Missy, sitting on what could be a bucket or some other cylindrical object, digging some �orrible dark liquid out of her vag and finger-painting a hung stickman onto an easel mounted canvas. So far, so good. Next is an outdoor camera caress of what appears to be a junk filled back garden, old sunbeds, packing trunk, mouldy cardboard box, obligatory shopping trolley (?), plastic bottle etc etc, all garnished with runaway ivy. Nice place you�ve got here. Jump to; the back of someone�s head with a piece of string taped to their right ear, then a hanging plastic bag containing some dead animal� switch to lady finger painter again, leather gloved this time, slipping a couple of condoms over the handles of two �Here�s Johnny� kitchen knives which she then proceeds to mastabate with� handle end of course (yeah, I saw The Exorcist too). Now, if finger painter clit picker had used the �business end� of those knives then I would have been impressed! Too bad. One of the handles gets a blow job. Of course. Next, our knife handle fucker fellates both handles in turn (better than never, I guess�), filmed from underneath a sheet of glass. She then pulls off one condom with her mouth (the handle must�ve gone all limp), chews it a bit, like it were gum, and spits it onto the glass, spits spit onto the glass, giggles (don�t laugh, baby, you�ll ruin the fuckin� ambiance!), chews and gobs some more (I fucking told you not to laugh!!). Who does get to clean up all this mess then?
Further along� a doll hung from the ceiling (there�s a lot of hanging in this) is stabbed by a hyperdermic. Madame condom chewer fucks about with hyperdermics. The doll gets cut down from a tree, injected in the chest and thrown into a gravely grave to be buried with hyperdermic, hyperdermic packaging and all. It�s art, man!!! Then there�s the shot of a rose stem penetrating durex-breaths ass� it�s been the thorn in her (back) side for quite some time now. Not content with this flower arranging lesson, along comes the bullet up the bum scene, a small-arms bunker buster perhaps? Nice big spot on your buttock there too, anal ammo girl. (Sorry, but I just couldn�t help noticing). In goes another couple of unidentified condom wearing kitchen utensils, causing the cunt/human knife-drawer to piss in the bath. Bath water-with-piss is used to fill a baby feeding bottle into which also goes crab claw, razor blade and thee trusty old hyperdermic. Swarms of ants scurry about around the bathtub (I also saw Un Chien Andalou too�), a child�s swing hung (hung again, I�m getting a hang-up about it) from a tree, er� swings, but no one�s out to play today. Shame, coz it�s viewed from below and in close-up. Parents obviously don�t let their kids out when these two are about. I wonder why. More pissing into jars, decanted into some pussy applicator (they�ve got all the equipment, it seems) and squirted back into the much abused (and red raw, I reckon) pucilage. Madame plays with cum, in and around her mouth, showing off a, yawn, pierced tongue. Scary and bashed-about spice has one of those too, as have 150,000 dumb-ass Camden fucking trendies in these parts, Jesus fuckin� part-ya-lips!! Wonder if scary spice has also got all those facial spots too� see what happens when you stick all sorts of shite up yer toilet-tunnels, children?! Don�t do it!
I wouldn�t want to spoil the ending for you, but we do get to see a balaclava-clad and manic looking Marco Farina himself, doing the crazed professor bit, again with hyperdermics (oh, that is the ending. Oops.) What a nutter! Where did these two find each other? (I can guess).
So, all in all, quite an enjoyable and pleasant 20 minute experience� assuming of course that it�s not you having all that junk stuck in and out of your filthy holes. I doubt if this stuff has any real �deep� meaning but, like anything, it can have, should you want it to. Miscellaneous objects up cunts and arses is pretty cliched too, I mean you can get DVDs of girls shoving a whole bundle of chop sticks up their wrinkled chocolate icing piping bags� that�s just plain old pornography, isn�t it? Throwing on an industrial noise soundtrack and adding a few other �thought provoking� art scenes can�t really turn porn into �art�, can it? Well, perhaps it can, but whether or not it is good art is up to the viewer to decide. I�m glad people make stuff like this, it�s always a good laugh.
You, of course, like my editor, may well differ!
Oh, and if you�re interested in Marco�s music, I can highly recommend his I.M.D.P. track on the Tabula Rasa split (split with Chromatic Idiot) CD-R, available from [email protected]
Contact: Marco Farina, R.U. videoproduzioni, cp 137, 17047, Vado Ligure, Sv, Italy
(Review by Gary Simmons)