Oakland Resident Ignites Water Shortage
UNKNOWN BAY AREA RESIDENT USES ALL THE HOT WATER
January 8th, 2002
       Oakland - A.P. - An unknown Bay Area resident has used up all the hot water supply.� President Bush says that we are now in a national state of emergency  when he was not able to get his hot water for his 1 am coffee break. Details are surfacing to find out who exactly used all the hot water.�More to come later on.�Stay tuned.
WATER SHORTAGE SUSPECT CAUGHT, THEN ESCAPES FROM JAIL
January 11, 2002
         Oakland - A P. -� After 2 days of not knowing who created the water shortage that damaged the United States severely, the suspect was caught, booked and jailed, but then escaped.
       �  YuYan Chan, a 19 year old college student from Oakland has been identified as the prime suspect of the United States water shortage which prompted President George Bush to declare the United States on a state of national emergency when he was trying to get hot water for a late night coffee break Tuesday night.�Chan was arrested Thursday night and booked on charges of over water usage and flooding the Western half of the United States from Colorado to the Pacific Coast, which fortunately killed no body, but the damages are estimated to be well over 600 billion dollars.
       �� Unfortunately, she was smart enough to break out of her jail cell with leaving no traces of how she got out.� During the wee hours of Friday morning, Chan's single cell was found empty by guards with a note inside saying, "NO MORE WATER!",� Alameda County Police Chief Michael Cohen believes that Chan may strike again and severely damage the United States.
       �� Chan's friends and family are baffled by what she did.�"After knowing YuYan throughout high school, I never thought that she would do something like this", said a shocked Richard Fong, III, who was a classmate and friend of Chan's.�"She was just a pretty happy person.�I really want to know what prompted her to do this".�Chan's parents are extremely shocked at this situation.�"Our daughter was brought up in a good home and we taught her to save water and good family values", said her mother whose name she did not want to release.
       �� Chan is considered to be armed and dangerous.�For any information please call the Alameda County Sheriffs Department at 510-120-1982 or Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982.
Water Shortage Suspect YuYan Chan: She mysteriously  escaped from jail a in the wee hours of Friday morning.  Her excessive water use flooded the entire West Coast to as far as Colorado.
Chan Profile:
Height: 5 Ft 4 Inches
Weight: Unknown
Armed and Dangerous
CHAN STILL NOT APPREHENDED YET
January 13, 2002
         San Francisco - Chronicle Wire Services - Excessive water user YuYan Chan has still not been apprehended after causing more than an estimated 600 billion dollars in damage for flooding the Pacific Coast to as far as Colorado.�"The costs of everything keeps on going up and up and up.� I estimated 500 billion at first, but now I think it maybe go as high as 900 billion",  says damage expert Douglas Gee.�"These damages are just going through the roof."
       �� President George W. Bush also released a statement today saying, "This suspect will be brought to justice and punished to the full extent of the law."
       �� Chan is still considered to be armed and dangerous and may strike again soon.�For any information please call the Alameda County Sherriff's Department at 510-120-1982 or Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982.
MICROSOFT'S GATES AND CHAN'S CLASSMATES SPEAK OUT
January 13, 2002
       San Francisco - Chronicle Wire Services - YuYan Chan, 19 lived the good life, so thats what her fellow classmates at AiSF, a prestigious art school in San Francisco thought. She was majoring in Multimedia and Web Design which would have help her design webpages for major companies in the future. "I really wanted Ms. Chan to work for us," said Microsoft CEO Bill Gates. "I liked the way she designed.  She brought alot of flavor to the table. It's unfortunate that this happened. She was the number one priority on our list to sign for a contract after she got out of college."
       Even her classmates are horrified Some just don't believe what has happened to her. "I cannot believe that she did this, said Steven Yip, a 2nd year Multimedia Specialist. "She was onto greatness. She and her other classmates designed a
beautiful webpage for her school. She must have been framed or something.This is not her nature to do something like this. I am shocked to say the least".
       Even Chan's Web Design Professor is shocked.  "I can't believe it. YuYan was a great student to teach. She was really into it all was eager to learn. Maybe she just snapped", says Professor Winnie Robin who has been at the Art School for over 15 years.  "Its a shame. She had a bright future. Now if caught she may spend the rest of her life in jail."
       Alameda County Police Chief Michael Cohen says, "This will be over as soon as possible. I have my best men on it. YuYan Chan is our main focus in the Bay Area now. Who knows what happens if she strikes again?  It could be just devastating to our future and really hurt the economy."  Recent reports have surfaced that she may still be in Oakland. Police are not releasing any details.
WATER SHORTAGE MANHUNT UNDERWAY
January 14, 2002
       Oakland - A.P. - Alameda County Police Chief Michael Cohen has issued a statewide manhunt and a warrant of $50,000 dollars for the capture and conviction of YuYan Chan, 19 who created the worst disaster since the September 11 attacks.  "This has to rate pretty high with September 11th attacks," Cohen stated. "This almost wiped out the entire United States.  What were we going to drink?  Seawater?  We would have gone insane."
       Police are still not releasing any reports to the public of where they think Chan may be currently hiding. "Chan may read this paper to find out what area we are searching for her in," Cohen said.
       Even though she looks innocent, the public still thinks that YuYan Chan is the prime suspect.  "Chan almost killed us all," stated an angry Linda Li, a long time resident of Oakland.  "My children were not able to their favorite mixed lemonade.  Chan needs to be found.  If not, we might all be killed."
       Chan is still thought to still be in the Oakland area, but currently details are sketchy and the Police are not saying anything.  She is still considered to be armed and dangerous.  Police say civilians should not take any action against her if she is seen.  If she is seen please call the Alameda County Sheriff's Departmet at 510-120-1982 or the Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982
CHAN IS NOW UP FOR MURDER
January 15, 2002
       Oakland - A.P. - Add murder to the list of convictions of YuYan Chan.  In a recent article we interviewed Richard Fong, III.  Fong, 19, and six days shy of his 20th birthday was found murdered in his Alameda home last night from suffication. Police are not releasing any details except saying that they has found a clue which points to Chan being the killer.  Alameda County Police Chief will release a statement regarding the letter at 4PM Pacific time stating exactly what this evidence is.
       Fong, III, was a graduate of the class of 2000 at Alameda High School and ironically the same class as his killer YuYan Chan.  He was in his second year at the University of California, Riverside as an undeclared science major. His hobbies were watching the Oakland A's Major League Baseball team, exercising and hanging out with friends.  "I am shocked," said a friend of Chan's and Fong's whose name did not want to be named for he fear that he would suffer the same fate as Fong, III.  "Gosh....First putting the Country into a National State of Emergency and now this?  Murder?  Man.  Knowing YuYan and Ricky, they got along pretty well.  When I was in Panda Club back at Alameda High, he was the Vice-President and she was the Treasurer. They got along pretty good.  I am in a state of shock and disbelief."
       As of last night the warrant for the arrest is $50,000, but may go up as of recent events.  Please call the Alameda County Sheriff's Department at 510-120-1982 or the Oakland Police Departmnent at 510-613-1982 if Chan is spotted.
Murder Victim Richard Fong, III:
He was found murdered in his Alameda home Monday night, just 6 days before his 20th birthday.
Fong, III Profile:
Age: 19
Height: 5 ft 6 Inches
Weight: 160 lbs
CHAN ADMITS TO MURDER AND WILL STRIKE AGAIN
January 16, 2002
       San Francisco - Chronicle Wire Services - YuYan Chan vows to strike again.  At approximately 4 PM Pacific time, Alameda County Police Chief Michael Cohen released a chilling statement about the evidence they found on murder victim Richard Fong, III's body.  "Today found a letter on Fong, III's dead body," Cohen said  "YuYan Chan admits to the murder and says that she will strike again if anyone tries to get near her.  Also, she says that she will attack again soon."
       Cohen believes that this next attack might damage the United States and put a large burden on the American economy.  "We are already short on water after her first attack," Cohen stated.  "If it happens again we are going to have big problems."
       "This is getting scary," says Concord resident Jessie Wong.  "I am fearing for my life and my children's.  We cannot have this nut running around anymore.  Bringing Chan to justice is my main concern.  I tell you this has really affected homeland security now."  Wong was referring to the recent measures passed by Congress to have metal detectors in public places
       Chan is still out there and she must be caught, otherwise she is going to ruin the United States and put the American Economy into a tailspin.
       Because of the recent incidents the warrant for Chan's arrest is now at $100,000 dollars.  Please call the Alameda County Sheriff's Department at 510-120-1982 or the Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982 if you have any information or know her whereabouts.  Do not attempt to subdue Chan as she is considered to be armed and very dangerous.  If she is seen notify police immediately.
CHAN STRIKES AGAIN!!! ADD ICE CREAM TO THE SHORTAGE LIST!!
March 3, 2002
       Oakland - Tribune Wire Services -  You never thought it was going to happen.  Not to the United States.  Our favorite desert has been depleted to nothing!  19 year old Water user YuYan Chan admitted to eating all the ice cream by saying in a letter left at the Merritt Coffee and Ice Cream Shop in Oakland.  "This needs to be stopped soon," says Alameda County Police Cheif Michael Cohen.  "This is physically impossible for a girl of her stature to eat all the ice cream and drink all the water in the United States.  This is screwing up the economy big time."  Cohen was right as the Dow Jones Industrial Average plummented 514.83 points to drop to 9450.1.
        One of the first places to be hit was the South Shore Shopping Center Albertson's located in Alameda.  One by one all the stores in Alameda were depleted of their stock until the entire country was depleted.  There were no witnesses which also happened in the water mayhem.  "I cannot believe that there were no witnesses," says Richard Gannon of Danville.  "There must have been somebody.  I seriously doubt that a little person such as YuYan Chan could have the ability to have no witnesses.  I just don't get it."
        Close friend Han Nguyen thinks that Chan has powers, but she cannot confirm it.  "I think YuYan may have something to get around, but I am not very sure," she said.  "She certainly talked alot about getting ready for Christmas all year this year and the years before.  I questioned her about it and she said it that she wanted to get done with her shopping early. Last year I was like, girl, you want to get your shopping done in the middle of January?  She replied yes because she was going to be busy during the last few days before Christmas delivering presents to her friends.  Then during the late Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning she says shes out and about.  We have never had a party with her around during those times.  She says she is delivering gifts.  I said, are you Santa's little elf or something?  She said no, but I am not sure.  I hear elves have magic power where they can put people to sleep for just long enough so they have the time to do what they need to do.  I don't think YuYan is an elf though.  I could be wrong."
        Even thought it may sound kinda crazy, police are taking Han's comments very seriously and hopes that they find her friend quickly.  "I want to have a heart to heart talk with my close friend, Han said.  I want to really know what is going on with her.  I am sad and I fear for her.  I wonder what she is thinking."
       
America's Most Wanted will run a segment on March 9th on Chan's case up to date.  It will air on FOX at 9PM, but check your local listings to make sure.  Chan is on the Top Ten Most Wanted list. Unsolved Mysteries will also be running a segment on March 7th..  Please check your local listings.
        The reward for Chan is now 500,000 dollars.  Please call the Alameda Sheriff's Department at 510-120-1982 or the Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982.  If you cannot contact through these numbers. Please do not approach Chan as she may have bodyguards.  Just stay as far away as possible and call the police.
UC BERKELEY STUDENT MURDERED BY CHAN
March 5, 2002
         Berkeley - Tribune Wire Services - One day after Han Nguyen talked to police about known suspect YuYan Chan, she was violently slashed at her dorm room last night.  Police have evacuated Stern Hall and the University has put its residents in hotel rooms as the investigation goes on.  Nguyen, 18 was a first year student at UCB Undeclared in the College of Letters and Science.  She enjoyed eating ice cream and watching NBC's
Friends. Even though that Nguyen was Chan's friend police think that she may have competed with YuYan in competition for ice cream.  Nguyen's favorite flavor was Rocky Road, which is one of the top 3 favored ice creams by Americans.  "I know we may be looking in this too deep, but I am considering all possibilities," stated Alameda Country Police Cheif Michael Cohen.
         Nguyen's murder was the 2nd murder by Chan within two months as she also killed Richard Fong, III in January.  "The autopsy showed that Han was forced to eat alot of food in her room that Chan brought," Cohen stated.  "Nguyen was then slashed with a butter knife, meaning a slow and painful death for her.  Again though, unfortunately, there were no witnesses.  Its very disappointing.  At UC Berkeley there are over 20,000 students.  You think that somebody would have seen what is going on, but I guess not....."
         An unidentified UC Berkeley student said, "Han was a great friend, she will be sorely missed.  Whats amazing is that I got along well with YuYan, Han and Richard.  We were in the same club back at Alameda High School of Panda Club.  I recently heard that Panda Club died out so maybe YuYan's motive is to get back at all the old members for its destruction.  She was a member too, but I saw her doing a good job.  She certainly helped me out when I became an officer.  WOW!  I am so heartbroken right now....
"
2nd Murder Victim:
Han Nguyen
She was found slashed in her Stern Hall Dorm Room by YuYan Chan
Nguyen's Profile:
Age: 18
Height: 5 ft 2.5 inches
Weight: Unknown.
Freshman at UC Berkeley; graduated from Alameda High School in June 2001
ONE YEAR LATER AND NOT A TRACE OF YUYAN CHAN; POLICE LAUGH AT NORTH POLE TIP FROM CHILD
January 23, 2003
        Oakland - Tribune Wire Services - It has been over a year since Oakland resident YuYan Chan stole all the water, ice cream and killed former friends Richard Fong, III and Han Nguyen and no leads of Chan have been found.  Police have received several tips from callers all over the world from as far as the North Pole where a miniature elf called in, but the police did not take it seriously because they believed it was a prank call from some elementary school child.  "This person gave us some information about seeing her, but I believe that it was a prank call,"  Alameda County Sherriff Department Cheif Michael Cohen said.  "After listening to it, I found it highly amuzing.  An elf that sounded like an adult.  That has been pretty much the drama we have had on this case so far...."
        One of Chan's old friends that wanted to go by the name "Szeto" believed that this call should have been taken seriously.  "I dont care who calls in tips," Szeto said.  "Anyone who calls in a tip, the police should take it seriously, where it is a kid or not.  If this turns out to be a great tip, YuYan could be caught.  If not, then we are going to be screwed again."
        The warrant is now set at 1 million dollars.  Please call the Alameda County Sheriff's Department at 510-120-1982 or the Oakland Police Department at 510-613-1982.  YuYan Chan is still considered very armed and very dangerous. 
....and this has been another session of...Unsolved Mysteries
NOTE: This is a made up news story. It was done because YuYan had an away message up for 3 hours saying she was in the shower after a long day. You like?
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