well here we are 3 and a bit days into Sidney test ands we are doing well so far.... more than that .... we are actually beating the retards ''''''''' at

eeeye ayen 444

Apologies it is now day four morning and I think that bit above was an attempt to think and type in the early hours of this morning.... after bit too much celebrating perhaps after England's great day yesterday... Vaughan century has got us in a great position. Hard work this Barmy Army life... late nights celebrating and early starts to get to game!! This Test has been a privilege to watch... Butcher century... all the fuss about Steve Waugh and his century (which from a cricket fan perspective was great to see)... if you think the English media is biased and one-sided I tell you the Aussie press is unbelievable... I will never hear a word against ours again from the Jockos... even when we got him out with no extra score yesterday todays paper barely had a mention of our cricket and that we have the Aussies really on the back-foot. Still can go pear shaped but at last we are competing.. if a little too late!! Army was in full cry yesterday after being a bit outsang by some Aussies who have at last thought up a few humourous songs... they were totally silent at the end though... "...You only sing when you're winning!!..." etc etc. NSW police at the ground are total w@nkers though!- have no idea what the army is about... threw people out yesterday for standing up and singing... I think they were picking on ring-leaders... police at MCG were ace - this lot have no idea... "Just because your're losing!!!". Off to match now!!Bye bye

... And what a day to be an England fan!! Hopefully tomorrow even better! Vaughan's 183 was marvellous given the pitch is now playing up but perhaps the champagne moment for us was the 3 consecutive fours no.11 Harmison hit off Brett Lee. We were going mental at that point. And then when we had their top three out the atmosphere was just amazing... undescribable.... whole banks of England fans singing and dancing in unison and the gestapo-like stewards for once left us alone... could hardly chuck us all out. (Everyone has commented how dreadful the stewarding has been here in comparison elsewhere...they even had a go at Jimmy for running up an aisle with his trademark Hat and Flag waving behind him.) Went with said "Jimmy Saville" after the game for a bit of curry and then onto PJs for more beer and singing. Jimmy- real name Vic Flowers- is the guy who's face gets in all the pictures whenever papers want a photo of a barmy army man- he is a bit of a celebrity now ... as he said to me over curry this is his 15 minutes of Andy Warhol fame... he's just an ordinary guy from Oldham but always has time for people. All the Army come up to him and shake his hand - always chanting "Jimmy Jimmy give us a song"- getting photos with him. Vic went off as he does to get some kip and so I then wandered around the harbour by the Opera House at night. Quite a sight really. Almost unreal in a way. Unreal will be the atmosphere if we win... hopefully... this is by no means in the bag even on a last day wicket with the likes of Love, Waugh and Gilchrist to come. The place will go beserk if we do!! Barmy Chant of the Day... "4-1.... we're gonna lose 4-1... we're gonna lose 4-1 etc etc". See ya...

Monday is a Caddick Day....

Yup we went beserk all right. What a day to be an England cricket supporter. What a celebration we have had. It was also the Barmy Army end tour party and I can hardly speak today from all the singing. Met up with Vic after the match had finished and it took about 40 minutes to get from ground to the Captain Cook Hotel (only 5 minutes normally from SCG) because virtually everyone wanted a photo with "Jimmy Saville". I must have taken about 50 of them for people. Was like being a footman with Royalty !! Captain Cook was a heaving mass of deliriously happy England fans and the odd Aussie drowning sorrows. Funny enough not that many had turned out for the final day.... "Loyal Supporters" could be the chant. The usual "Your the Convicts...." song turned into "Where's the convicts... etc"!! From the Cook we went off for some grub on Oxford St... Vic had enjoyed the curry that much he wanted to go back again. We were spotted going past and Vic grabbed to cheerlead singing in a pub crammed full of joyful English on Oxford St. Got curry in at last ... then decided that Vic really had to put in another show in front of his fans in the pub to whip them up again. Then we went on down to King's Cross to one of the "offical" party pubs- The World. Again the place went mental when they spotted Vic ! It seemed a bit like the scene from Life of Brian with a reluctant Brian as the Messiah!! As he had said before its his 15 minutes of fame as he has become this representative figurehead of the Army. It was just mental in the place and the party went on and on and on.... made sure Vic got back to his hostel (as he didn't know the way) and then went back for more! By early hours of morning we were gently nudged out of the pub.. I went in search of food... got a bit of pizza before joining a number of Army who had ringed this bemused busker on the street in a joyous chorus. Trudged home as it got light feeling very happy but very tired!! Magic.

Tuesday....eurggh

Following the Barmy "Finger" song... Tuesday indeed would be a bit "eurghhh" for most of the Army. Had arranged to meet Vic for a trip to Manly at about 1 or so. Imagine my surprise as knock on the door at 11 and Vic's head pokes round it, not housekeeping. He had decided to go to his brother's in Melbourne that night and thus had checked out so had nowhere to go. Quick shower and off to Oxford St for brekkie then bus to Circular Quay ... even without his "uniform" he still gets recognised by many. From the quay we take the ferry to Manly... have a cruise and sight-see along the promenade and then go to the aquarium as its rather hot today... hangover and heat don't really go together. Get to see a few sharks and see a show on dangerous Aussie beasties... time is pressing for Vic's bus so we head back to ferry and back to Cook's to pick up his bag. We bump into a couple of the "Steve Irwin's" on the way- they had been doing much of the song-leading and are pretty hoarse and a bit the worse for wear. Everyone is on such a high. Once bag retrieved Vic thanks me for looking after him over the last few days - I think all the hero worship and attention can get a bit bewildering and tiring after a while so I was perhaps a small oasis of dull normality amongst it for him- and then Jimmy Saville is off. Been a priviledge to have been the "minder" for the King of the Barmy Army for a few days really. Felt like I should have to walk 10 yards behind him at times though!! I have a couple (only) of beers at the hotel and sample their steak while sat at the bar to watch some sport(?) (snowboarding!) on the bar TV (had asked for the cricket to be put on - manager laughed- it were all over... Australia A had bowled Sri Lanka out for 65 and had won already... and also the "beer match" arranged afterwards.I then retire for an early night

Wedneday is the Bridge Climb Day...

At last a bit of a lie-in... though still up just in time for breakfast. Scrambled Eggie on toast. Today is a beach day methinks so I take the bus down to Coogee Beach and chill out for a few hours. Jolly nice. Listen to the Jimmy Hendrix tape that I had taken to India those many years ago. Have a burrito for a lunch at one of the beach road cafes and then back to fry again. However there's a bit of a storm brewing- some quite spectacular lightning and I just about time my retreat from the beach before the storm hits... some wind and rain hits us! Go back to Cooks. Have obviously missed with the sun-cream around the old mince's so they are a bit scorched and red- looks like I had been in a fight a bit!! Tonight have booked myself onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb- for 9-45.... had wanted the twilight climb but they are booked solid for days. Head down to the Rocks part of the Harbour (oldest bit of Sydney) - find a nice pub which has a live guitarist (lovely Ovation electro-acoustic guitar!) and serving excellant pub grub. Decide to go for steak again. Can't have any beer as you are breath-tested before going up - good job didn't book to go yesterday... or given storm winds... this afternoon (they only stopped for a wee while amazigly enough)!!! Shame as its a jolly nice pub. So, with belly still rather full of grub , I head to the Bridge Climb centre. Its quite an experience all round- you have to change into this jump-suit, have to remove all belongings - watch, wallet, coins etc etc- they even run a metal detector over you... to make sure nothing can fall or be thrown from the top. You even have this torch thing strapped to your head. (I pass the breath test) A simulation ladder climb test and then you are off... strapped onto a rail onto the bridge. With our suits and headlights climbing through metal beams it feels like an eerie scene out of a science fiction movie really... like exploring the crashed Alien mothership. The ladder climb and climb up the arches of the Bridge isn't that hard really and the view is spectacular- maybe in some ways better at night as the CBD office blocks are lit up. Worth the cost definitely. In all the climb etc takes 3 hours... you get yout photo taken at the top as a group and individually. The individual ones you have to pay for. My sunburn under my eyes comes across nicely. Once down and re-united with belongings etc the time is nearly 1 am... buses now finished so take a taxi back to Cooks and quick pint (I am gasping for one) and chat with bar-staff before bed.

Thursday is for Frantic Sightseeing....

Well today is my last full day in Sydney and Australia so a chance to catch up on touristy things. Feel like another beach session so after the full works of a fry-up for breakfast jump on bus to Coogee again and have a short fry on the beach. Get a few shots with camera (despite being sold some dodgy batteries by a corner shop... lesson learnt - never buy loose batteries) - have a walk round headland to see whats there... and then back to city centre via Cooks to Darling Harbour. Nip along to the Fish Market - hoping for some grub- it's however shut by 4 but manage to find a bit of a chippy for some battered prawns and fresh fish. Back to Darling Harbour via quick pint in traditional Aussie pub (quick watch on telly of Sri Lanka whacking Aussie bowling - some form turnaround from the other day!!) - then to the AMP Observation tower which is the highest building in Oz for a great all round view and see a bit of sunset... using the telescopes one can keep an eye on the electronic scoreboard at the SCG too - Aussies are getting beat by the Lankans. Then shoot back to Darling Harbour to the Acquarium for more sharks and beasties and coral and things - then take a ferry round the harbour to Circular Quay under the Bridge for one last look at it and the Opera House. Decide to dine at Sydney Cove Oyster Bar in the Quay... dining with this magnificent view of the Bridge-- you don't get views like that when dining very often in one's life!! Have decided to be adventurous for one's last meal - shellfish platter - oysters, crab, Moreton Bay Bug, mussels and king prawns. The cutlery to eat it looked more at place in a hospital operating theatre. I think I just about sussed what was what. Having dined and wined then wandered up to the bar near the Opera House where some live jazzy music was playing. Listened to that until they finished then jumped on bus back to Cooks for a final few drinks in the bar. Tomorrow is the start of the long journey home.

A double Friday

My bus is due at Friday 7-45am to get me to the airport so only time for a quick OJ before bidding farewell to Cooks and Sydney. Have got quite a good seat for the flight until stewardess ask me and the other 2 (both English) to move back one row because they need the seats for a family with a baby. No real problem as leg-room is good. I don't really sleep so its the in-flight entertainment for me... watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding again (had it on the way out)... a film about black Barber shop (quite amusing I suppose) ... and Sabrina (an old Audrey Hepburn movie- strange choice!!). After 9 hours I think we are in Honolulu to change crews so we have to get off- go through American customs- and get back on again. Semi-doze the next 7 hours or so- can't even remember what was on as movies.... and we arrive in Vancouver - Friday 8am... got an extra Friday because of going back over the international date-line... how wierd. Dump baggage (which has had zippers ripped off so I have to do running repairs with tape) and take a bus to Vancouver city as I have 8 hours to kill before flight- have Glaswegian lass called Gillian for company as she is doing the same thing. I think we get to see most of what's to see anyway!! Quite a pretty place with the mountains (snowy tops) as a back-drop. Not impressed by airport shuttle bus system- had to change!! Temperature was quite cool so I suppose a bit of acclimatisation for going back to Scotland!! Back to airport- had a spot of lunch- and then its back on plane for the flight to London. My intention was to sleep this bit to get back in synch body-clock wise. Ha ha ha. No chance. Had the child from hell sitting behind who screamed for most of the journey back. And when at last did get some kip - got woken by cabin crew asking if I needed a visa/customs form for UK. No I bloody didn't. The ironic thing was that I must have nodded off for 20 minutes or so just before and during take off... the bit of flying I really like too!!! Finally touch down in London. Transfer to Terminal 1 - check that my baggage is going all the way to Edinburgh ok and have a pint of UK Guinness (aussie brewed Guinness was rotten)- then its the mercifully short trip to Edinburgh. Wander through arrivals to be greeted by Gilly. Lovely feeling. I couldn't help thinking how beautiful she is. Thankfully my taped-up baggage has survived and its the bus and then taxi home! All in all a great trip.

THE END