Day 1-4(?) Across the Globe to Sydney

Well got here and strewth is it a long way .... partic if you go the long way round - e.g. via Canada/Hawaii - no lounging in Hawaian luxury but an hour spent hanging aroud waiting to get back on same plane after crew changeover. Think I slept at right times ... so hopefully I am sort of on Oz time now... well, we shall see if I fall asleep in middle of this afternoon/evening's ODI at the SCG ... might miss England's opening tour victory??? Ha ha ha eh. Oz papers are full of Nasser's remark that we should hand over the actual trophy... they seem a bit sore about it. Anyway given the bush fires around Sydney, do they want any more Ashes??

Funny thing at the Customs... on the Customs Declaration card it asks whether you have a criminal conviction. I said No. Imagine my surprise that they therefore actually let me in. Thought one needed to be a convict.... Anyway the customs men had a bit of smirk (in a nice way) when I said I was following the cricket....

Weather - nice and sunny and looks like a scorcher on the cards... I've doused myself liberally in factor 15, mother, so dinnae worry.

Right ... now off to the match via a pub somewhere - hopefully can find some fellow Barmy Army... see ya chaps.

Sicknote meets the Army...

Well- I certainly found the Barmy Army in good voice. There's a pub/hotel called Captain Cook not far from the SCG which was packed out with the core of the Army (I'll actually be staying here when I get back to Sydney for the NY test- gawd there be no sleeping as I think the Army stay here too!). Fair few Oz were present too and choruses of "Pommies take it up the Arse...up the Arse ... up the Arse" and the obligatory "Aussie Aussie Aussie- Oi Oi Oi" rang out from antipodean throats. To be met by "God save YOUR gracious Queen... Long live YOUR noble Queen... etc etc Long to reign over YOU... etc" and (to tune of Yellow Submarine) "We all live in a Convict Colony...Convict Colony...Convict Colony. etc". Plus THAT Barmy Army song you always hear. At least I know the words now- i.e. the bits other than Barmy Army...Barmy Army!

After a swift few middies or whatever they call them (why don't they just have pints??) of Tooheys New it was off to the SCG across Moore Park. The seat I had was right down the front at the boundary of the Bill Ellis stand- side on to the wicket. It gave a good sense of the speed of Gillespie, Lee and McGrath - keeper half way back to the fence. England's Knight and Trescothick were doing ok after an iffy start - and a fair few Oz around were joking that they would have to cancel their dinner now (this was a Day- Nighter) as they expected an earl finish as England were batting first. However - as I said to this Aussie next to me - who was very nice (for a Liverpool fan)- it doesn't take much for England to chuck away promising leads and positions. And so we did. From looking like we would get 270-280 we never got going at the end bar a late flourish to get to 250. Knight batted well and the crowd were warm in applause when he got to 100.

Talking of the crowd... they are a tough demanding bunch these Aussies... and the row behind me were highly amusing as they mercilessly ribbed Matt Hayden who was patrolling the boundary right in front of us. He barely flickered- almost emtionless. Owais Shah later on got crucified by them- not helping matters by wearing a shirt with squad number of 69. He tried to be a bit responsive but they just got worse. Had me in stitches as well. As some of you might have seen... Ronnie Irani had a whole bank of Oz supporters following his every lead as he shadow-boxed at them and then led them all through stretching-exercises. It was so funny... great PR as well and all credit to Irani... hope the England mgt dont have a go at him a bit for not being focused.

Gilchrist and Hayden just took Kirtley (poor Sussex man) and Caddick apart at around 8.5 an over. Awesome. Caddick in particular got loads of stick from the crowd - guy behind in his rough Aussie accent bellowing "Caddick - You cannot bowl" - too right. The Aussies were in cruise control and ticking along so the main entertainment came from the crowd. My Aussie fellow alongside did say that it goes mental over the last half-hour. It sure did. A fair few Mexican waves which when you add the rubbish and plastic glasses chucked up as part of the wave makes for quite a sight. Then someone cottoned on to the idea of making huge plastic glass "snakes" - first ones were single person holding vertical ones- you suddenly heard a huge cheer from the crowd and there was someone with this topplin' monstrosity... next the genius of human ingenuity took over and in various parts of the ground longer and longer plastic glass snakes popped up to tremendous rapture from the crowd (now obviously quite pissed) - some stretched half-way across the bays with about 20 people holding them. You had to be there to appreciate it. Then we had the Ronnie Irani show of orchestrated aerobics with the crowd. And a lovely sunset too. Someone behind me asked Shah if his mother picked his shirt number. It was just magic - and we almost forgot about what was happening out at the middle - Lehman and Martyn cruising to victory.

It was all over at about 9:30pm - so back to the Captain Cook Hotel where the core of the Army were in full voice again- they were well pissed- chatted to a couple - who strangely denied they were the core (they are) - just a bunch of pissed lads- it could be quite wearying being in ther company a long-time. Got chatting also to some Oz chaps, one had been on a Ashes tour of England... and after a few more beers (note- only had the one in the ground - the queues for beer were mental!) I left. Jet-lag was kicking in really hard at this stage (I had after all only flown in that morning). And after a nice donnar kebab- straight to bed by midnight. Thankfully no sunburn as the factor 15 did its job - it was very hot and sunny - about 40 degrees or so. Phew. Have some good photies of the game and things - just need to find an internet cafe that will let me load them up....

Long lie in next day (Sat)... lunch of Fish n Chips on Darling Harbour.... boat cruise around Sydney Harbour - which was ace- and methinks a spot of grub in Chinatown to come next and then time to investigate the Hostel Bar- there's meant to be someone playing his didgereeroo or something! Might even see if the Sports Bar has Man U v W Ham on live at midnight. Cheery...

Well never bothered with the man and his didgeredoo in the end ... but ventured down into Chinatown for grub following a recommendation from the Lonely Planet Guide. Now for those who know me well you will know I can eat a wee bit.... but one had quite a task in the end. Went to this place which seemed very authentic Chinese... well was I suppose - but problem was that I wanted a bit of this and a bit of that to eat rather than one dish - so ordered a variety of things expecting things like side dishes to appear alongside my main. They weren't - there was enough to feed me about 5 times over. Not wanting to lose face and give the waiters confirmation that I didn't know what I was doing I tried my darnest to eat the lot- a huge hot and sour soup... 10 varieties of crispy won-tons... half a char-sui bbq-ed pig and what was meant to be a side dish of noodles that was just massive. I did me best. They offered to put the rest in a takeaway dish. I declined and rolled out of the restaurant like a weeble.

Amazingly enough there was room for beer still so went to this hotel bar which had the Man U advertised outside - after a wee wander for a bit to shift the char-siu downwards. Duly watched the game with a Tooheys New or three. I seemed to be the conversational target of a succession of fat middle-aged Aussies who wanted to portray that they knew something about football. I was polite but not very chatty. Was feeling very tired (jet lag still kicking in) plus the drowsing effect of massive portions of food. At end of game wandered back to hostel for another beer or two in the cellar bar and watched the young things at play for a bit then a little of Southampton v Newcastle before retiring. Wierd watching our footie in the middle of the nite!!

Sunday

Again a bit of a lie in. Sampled a superb scrambled egg on toast in the hostel. Then went for a wander to Paddy's Market - reknown big indoor market. Purchased at last my bushman's Mick Dundee hat. Its a ripper. Found a wonderful Oriental Food Hall - cheap and plentiful- this is where I should have gone last night - will do so tonight.

Wasn't hungry enough to eat then so went a wandering... bought the odd post card and ended up in the Three Monkeys Pub again for a beer. Beer turned into pub-lunch. Mince Pie - mash- peas - gravy. Like home from home. Very tasty.

I was intending to head to Bondi Beach but it was really hot so hung around for a bit longer in the pub before going back to the hostel and then taking train and bus to Bondi. Some right looneys on the train I must say. Bondi is pretty much what you would expect- all tans and beautiful bodies - felt a little body-inadequate although I suppose I am in not bad knick for 36 really (once shot of summer-cricket beer belly).

Even at 4pm the sun is still quite strong. More factor 15. Eventually I pluck up courage to trot in slow-motion Baywatch style into the surf. They don't get waves like this on Littlehampton beach. Strewth. After a couple of hours wander round a flea-market- spy some things to purchase but don't want to clobber the salesman with a large note so go to the nearest bar to break the note. Its a bit trendy like and I feel a little under-dressed - I think I wandered in while the door-man wasn't looking. England are on the telly starting their reply to the Aussies mammoth 318. Christ. Doesn't bode well when Trescothick out early then poor Irani run-out in comical (and controversial ) fashion. This chap next to me pipes up about the cricket. He's English too... travelling around globe on a year trip... chat away quite merrily to fill the time as his travelling mates are late. Time rolls on and he has to go and time for me to go back to the flea-market and then hop on bus and train to Central Station which is handily right next to Hostel Wake-Up where I am staying (quire recommended) - handy as I am busting my bladder at this point. Why don't they have bogs at underground/suburban rail etc stations or the trains???

Tomorrow its off to Brisbane by heap big silver bird in sky. England play Sri Lanka there in a ODI - so a chance of a win at last perhaps?

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