When Something Wicked this way Comes

Excuse me, Dana.  Sweetie, Dana can tell when you're staring at her breasts.
I wasn't!  Okay, so my eyes actually went there, but now I'm fine.

Oakland's up.
Thank you, Dave, stop looking at my ass!
No problem.

What are you dressed in?
I'm going to a bachelorette party, it's a themed bachelorette party.
Ask her what the theme is.
I just assumed it was hookers.
It's biker chicks.
Just as good in my book!

Hey, you're talking about the woman whose first date with my I'm planning! (pause) Wow, that was some interesting grammar.

What about Sally?
That wasn't dating.
Well, we slept together every night for three months.
Thanks for reminding me.
And?
That wasn't dating, that was two lonely and pathetic people slinking off after a crappy little two a.m. show, getting drunk, and then using each other for sex.
And that's not dating?
No.

You shouldn't assume that just because I'm looking at you while you're talking, that I"m necessarily listening to or caring about anything you're saying.  It's just something I do to be polite.