Dan says the Orioles, I say the Yankees, Dan says the Reds, I say the Mets, but kids, whether you're a Yankee fan, a Dodger fan, a Mets fan or a Red Sox fan, one thing we can all agree on is what, Dan?
John Rocker's a doofus.
John Rocker's a big honkin' doofus.

*I* wrote the Rocker joke!
You said "Let's DO a joke about John Rocker"
That's right!
That's not writing the joke, that's suggesting the joke.
I did several drafts.
You said "Let's give out his home number."  I said "We can't give out his home number, let's call him a doofus."  Then we disagreed on the spelling of doofus.
Then I agreed that yes, we should call him a doofus.
And I added big honkin' doofus.
Then Casey typed it.
It was a good team effort, Dana.
You're all idiots.  The Atlanta Braves are OWNED by Time-Warner.  AOL/Time-Warner is a major player in the bidding war for Continental Corp!  Let's not piss off people as they're looking at us through the store window!  We are on LIFE SUPPORT now!  We're way past the "Show business is funny" stage, it was sophomoric and it was stupid!
It was Jeremy's idea.
It was your idea!
I was goaded by Danny.
I was practically threatened by Casey.
All I did was type it.
Well, then, the buck pretty much stops with you then, buddy.

Well.  Last days.  Last days of a war, last days before going off to war, you know what people do?
Elliot:  They band together?
They sleep with each other.
Elliot:  Really.
Chris:  Last days on a movie shoot.
Will:  Last days of school
Dave: They sleep with each other.
Elliot:  It's not that I"m not flattered, Danny, it's just -
I know.
Kim:  Dan, only you can take an occasion like this and turn it into an opportunity for sex.
I'm gifted, yes, but that's actually not why I came over here.
Kim: Why'd you come over here?
To tell you that you're the best secretary I've ever had.
Kim:  Thank you.
I mean it.
Kim:  I know you do.  That's why it's so hard for me to tell you this.
Tell me what?
Kim:  I'm not your secretary.
What?
I'm not your secretary.
I thought you were my secretary.
Kim:  Yes, I know.
I always treated you like my secretary.
Yes, I know.
Well okay then.

Y'know, I wouldn't mind living in LA.  You know what they've got out there?  Sunshine!  They've got sunshine, the Pacific Ocean...drivin' around with the top down...
I'd have to buy a car.
It's fun to buy a car.  You've got that new car smell.

It's 11:00, 1, maybe 1 1/2 million more viewers, it's Dana as executive producer, what more do you want?
It's in California.
Where they've got Laker girls.  Same show, bigger audience, sunshine, Pacific Ocean, new car, Laker girls, PLUS the LA Philharmonic with Mr. Esa-Pekka Solonen at the podium.  You know where he's from?
Helsinki.
And you know where that is?
Finland.


I've had a couple of drinks, so I think I have the courage to tell you this.
(sitting between them) Hang on.
Jeremy.
Hang on, I'm sitting right here.
You can stay there.
If you're gonna tell him something that takes courage, I think I shouldn't be sitting here.
It's okay.
(reluctantly) Okay.
I'm still in love with you.
Oh, can I please get up?
Natalie-
No, you don't have to say anything. In fact, you probably shouldn't. Just let me talk.
You really gotta let me out.
No, I don't want to lose the moment.
(in a loud desperate whisper) I'm sitting right here!
Jeremy, there hasn't been a day since I broke up with you that I haven't wanted you back.
I broke up with you.
There've been a couple of days.
Which days?
And I don't know if this is me talking or the coconut pina colada. Also, I've been having these mood swings-come to think of it, I hate your living guts.