The Hungry and the Hunted

"October the eighth, nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, A.D."  A.D.  They're worried I might accidentally show up 2000 years before the birth of Christ!

Nobody move!  Name five teams that play in the MLS, and Casey says it's an American soccer league so you can't choose Luxembourg.  Go.
Columbus Crew.
Elliot: Miami Fusion.
New England Revolution.
Kim: Tampa Bay Mutiny.
D.C. United.
Dave: Chicago Fire.
Colorado Rapids.
Chris: Dallas Fir.
Kansas City Wizards.
Will: Los Angeles Galaxy.
And the New York-New Jersey Metrostars.
You all just made that up, didn't you?
You got smoked.

We shot a deer!  In the woods near Lake Mattatuck on the second day.  There was a special vest they had me wear so they could distinguish me from things they wanted to shoot, and I was pretty greatful for that.  Almost the whole day had gone by, they hadn't gotten anything.  Eddie was getting frustrated, Bob Schumaker was getting embarassed.  The camera needed to be reloaded so I told everybody to take a ten minute break.  There was a stream nearby and I walked over to it with this care package Natalie made me.  Sat down...and when I looked up there were three of them.  Small, bigger, biggest.  Recognizable to any species on the face of the planet as a child, a mother, and a father.  Now, the trick in shooting deer is that you have to get them out in the open, and it's tough with deer because these are clever, cagey animals with an intuitive sense of danger.  You know what it takes to get a deer in the open?  You hold out a Twinkie.  That animal clopped up to me like we were at a party.  She seemed pretty interested in the Twinkie, so I gave it to her.  Looking back, she would've been better off if I'd've given her the damned vest.  And Bob whispered "move away!"  The camera'd been reloaded and it looked like the day wouldn't be a washout after all.  So I backed away, couple of steps at a time, and I closed my eyes when I heard the shot.  Look, I know these are animals and they don't play bridge or go to the prom, but you can't tell me that the little one didn't know who his MOTHER was!  That's gotta MEAN something!  And later, at the hospital, Bob was telling me about the tradition and nobility of hunting to the Native Americans, and I nodded, and I said that was interesting, while the entire time I was thinking about what a load of crap it was!  Hunting was a part of Native American CULTURE, it was food and it was clothing and it was shelter.  They sang and danced and offered prayers to the GODS for a successful hunt so they could survive just one more unimaginably brutal winter.  The things they had to kill held the highest place of respect for them, and to kill for fun was a sin.  And they knew the gods wouldn't be so generous next time.  What we didn't wasn't food and it wasn't shelter and sure wasn't sports!  it was just MEAN!