| The Fine Line By Kasey Summary: A near-tragic accident leads Jeremy to a realization...and back to the shadowy place. Warnings, etc: SN isn�t mine. Yada yada. You know the drill by now. This is from Jeremy�s PoV, which means it probably isn�t as good as it could be, but I felt like trying something new. Following suit of all my other stories, there�s an angst warning. Also, there�s some French used in here...I�m only in French 1, so if y�all know more about French than I do, then je regret! ::smiles:: Also, I�m not a medical person, so if I have some things wrong with that, too...sorry! Knote to self: Do more research for stories! Hm...that�s a resolution I doubt will be kept! A Note: �The Fine Line� (title) is symbolic of three different lines that are walked in this story: The lines between love and hate, life and death, and honesty and deceit. I walked into the newsroom and could tell immediately that something was wrong. Everyone was too quiet and subdued, looks of worry creasing their faces. There was a note on my desk from Dana, telling me to come to her office as soon as I got in. I didn�t know what it was about, but I knew it couldn�t possibly be good. Warning bells went off wildly in my head when I saw Dana, Casey, and Dan all sitting on Dana�s office couch. I knocked on the door, and Casey motioned weakly for me to come in. Dana�s eyes were red as though she�d been crying, and Casey had his arm around her shoulders. Dan looked on the edge of breaking as well. �Guys, what�s wrong?� �It...� Dana swallowed. �There�s been an accident, and-� She started to break down again, and Casey gently pulled her into a hug. �Natalie was driving in this morning and her car was hit by a truck,� Casey said quietly. �Oh my God...is she...did she...?� I asked, fearing the worst, but unable to say it. �She�s alive, but barely,� Dan reported grimly. �Comatose.� I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, only to be dropped back down on them again. She was alive, but - and it was a very big �but� - who could say if she would ever be TRULY ALIVE again? ~*~*~*~*~ That afternoon, the four of us and Isaac all went down to the hospital to see if we could visit her. We were granted permission, but we could only go in one at a time. Dana insisted on going in first, and when she came out a few minutes later, she was shaking. Casey gently guided her to a chair and sat with her as she cried. He held her close and quietly whispered comforting things in her ear while stroking her hair gently. Dan tapped me on the shoulder. �Your turn, man.� I tentatively walked into her room and watched the labored rise and fall of her chest. She looked so tiny, frail, and delicate against the pristine sheets. I reached out cautiously and took her hand in mine, then began to cry. There were so many things I wanted to tell her, and I�d read that coma patients could possibly hear what their visitors said to them...so I started talking. �Oh, Natalie, I�m so sorry. I shouldn�t have put up such a fight about everything and we shouldn�t have broken up because I...I love you.� I thought at first that the words had just flown out, but I realized that I�d meant to say them. It was one of the things I needed her to know, in case I never got another chance to tell her when she was conscious. ~*~*~*~*~ After three weeks of waiting in anxious terror, we received word that she was coming out of it. All of us rushed down to see her, and were allowed to go in all at once to see her. She blinked up at us. �Qui es tu?� After a few seconds of confused silence, Casey replied in a foreign language, assumable the same one Natalie had used. �Nous sommes t�amies: Dana, Jeremy, Dan, Isaac, et moi, Casey.� �Qui suis je?� �Tu es Natalie.� Casey looked nervous. Turning to us, he reported. �She�s speaking in French...� �It�s what she minored in during college...� Dana said, a puzzled look on her face, mixing with the terror and sorrow that were already present. �She just asked me who she was,� Casey said. �Je ne comprende pas.� She shook her head slowly. �Est-ce que tu ne connais pas qui nous sommes?� (Don�t you know who we are?) She shook her head. �Je regret, mais je ne sais pas.� ~*~*~*~*~ I think it�s a safe bet that all of us walked out of the room feeling confused, dejected, and a little scared. Casey translated the entire conversation back to us, and needless to say, it didn�t make any of us feel any better. She had no idea who any of us were, and she was speaking in a foreign language she almost definitely hadn�t used since college. �What�s wrong with her?� Dana asked in a tiny voice. She was practically clinging to Casey, who had his arm around her protectively. I shrugged. �Maybe she�s not fully alert, maybe temporary amnesia either from head damage or the trauma itself...I don�t know. She should get her memory back eventually...provided it�s from one of those things.� I shook my head sadly. �I don�t know.� Dan nodded gravely. �So we just sit around and hope her memory comes back?� �It�s all we *can* do,� Casey said. �Aside from me finding all my old stuff from French class...I have a feeling I�ll need it.� ~*~*~*~*~ The shows that week were more strained than ever before. Dana was too out of it to really produce, Dan and Casey both seemed listless, and Isaac sat nervously in the chair next to Kim, who was sitting in what all of us knew as �Natalie�s seat�. I went over to see Natalie before work every day. She seemed slightly better every time I saw her, but still nothing monumental. On the eighth day, when I got there, Dan was already in the hallway, and Dana and Casey were in her room �How is she?� I asked. �She�s speaking in more English,� Dan reported. �And she called me Danny...so I guess she�s doing better...� Casey came walking out, a nearly giddy Dana at his side. �She knows who I am! And she understood what I said and she�s getting better!� I smiled and walked into her room. �Natalie? How are you?� �Comme ci, comme ca. Et toi?� �I�m okay,� I said, hoping it was what she�d asked. �Tu es...Jeremy,� she said, looking deep in thought. �That�s right!� I said, squeezing her hand. �You remember me?� �Of course! Tu es my boyfriend!� I froze. I wasn�t sure what to say. I had been before...and would be again if she ever gave me another chance. �Right,� I said quietly. I gently stroked her cheek. �Listen. I have to go to work now, but I�ll be back at lunchtime, okay?� �Good show,� she said cautiously, as though she wasn�t sure what she said was right. �It will be,� I said, squeezing her hand, then walked back out side. �You okay?� Dana asked me, still smiling. �Of course,� I said, putting on a smile of my own. �And so is Natalie.� She was remembering more and more each day, and that was good, but not for me, who was walking the fine line between honesty and not. It was only a matter of time before she knew - either on her own or from someone else - that were weren�t still boyfriend and girlfriend...and that my chance with her was gone. ~*~*~*~*~ Dana led Natalie into the apartment. �We�re here,� she said gently. Natalie looked around, and there was a slight glimmer of recognition in her eyes. �I...I remember here...I think. Things are still semi-fuzzy.� She sat down on the couch between me and Dan and leaned her head against my shoulder. Dana disappeared into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a strawberry cake. We ate in silence for a few minutes before Natalie said, �I know you�re expecting me to act a certain way...and I would, but I really don�t remember...I�m sorry.� �Natalie, there�s nothing to be sorry for,� I assured her. �It�s not your fault,� Casey pointed out. �I know, but I...I WANT to be able to remember...� her voice was shaking, and I hugged her, ignoring the odd looks Dan, Dana, and Casey gave me. �It�s okay, Natalie,� I told her. �You�ll remember everything, just give it some time.� She calmed down, and everyone stayed a little while longer. I was the last one there, and she just seemed to look at me curiously. �What?� I asked her. �Oh, nothing,� She said. �I was just trying to remember something.� �What were you trying to remember?� I asked. �This.� She pulled me into a passionate kiss. �Hmmm...� she mused. �It�s all coming back to me...� I kissed her again, much more tenderly, ignoring the voice in my head that said what I was doing was wrong. I couldn�t help it. I had missed her loving me so much, and now I had that again. She leaned back against the couch, and I shut out my mind, acting entirely from my heart. ~*~*~*~*~ As I stared up at the ceiling, cradling Natalie in my arms, I realized that my chance at telling her - if ever the chance had existed - was gone. I was, again - still - walking the shadowy line between honesty and not, leaning more and more towards �not�. ~*~*~*~*~ Natalie started back to work a few days later, and she surprised everyone - including herself - with how much she remembered. It was like having ht old Natalie back, especially in the way she smiled at me during the rundowns. After the show that night, she stood by my desk and waited for me. When I reached her, she kissed me, then said, �Ready to go?� I drove her back to the apartment and made dinner for us both, realizing how much I�d taken it for granted before. ~*~*~*~*~ �Jeremy, we need to talk!� An angry Natalie stormed after me after the noon rundown. I turned to her. �Hey, Honey, what�s wrong?� I asked. �Don�t �hey Honey� me! We *broke up*, remember? Or do *you* have amnesia too?� I stopped dead. �What?� �You heard me. Dana asked when we�d gotten back together, since we�d broken up, and she saw me kissing you last night. And the more she said, the more it jogged my memories...or lack thereof...� She glared at me. �You lied to me, Jeremy! You lied to me when I couldn�t know any better!� I tried to put my hand on her shoulder, but she slapped it away. �Natalie, come with me.� �No!� �Just to the edit bay. I want to explain myself, and I *don�t* want to be in a room full of people when I do.� She reluctantly followed me to the edit bay and sat down on the couch, her arms folded across her chest. �First of all, thank you for seeing me. I understand you�re mad at me, and you feel used and cheated, and you have every right to.� �Thanks,� she said sarcastically. �I want you to know at least that I had my reasons, and I�m very sorry. This wasn�t one of those �I want someone to sleep with so I�ll target my ex who can barely remember her own name� things. That�s not even remotely close.� I took a deep breath. This would be going out on a limb in a very big way. �I did what I did because I love you. I knew you�d never give me a second chance if you remembered the fight, because I was so incredibly out of line. I said a lot of cruel things, and I regret all of them. So when you thought we were still together...I just didn�t deny it. because, if I had my way, we would be together again.� She looked up at me and smiled. �What?� �You are so cute.� �Natalie-� �You are just so cute.� She stood up. �Let�s get back to work.� I nodded, and as we walked out of the edit bay, I felt her slip her hand into mine. |