| Against All Odds (Last Days) By Kasey Set between La Forza del Destino and Quo Vadimus I rested my head gently against Casey�s shoulder as we caught our breaths. After Danny�s speech about �Last Days�, and what people did during them, Casey had adopted the philosophy and taken me back to my apartment. What we�d done there hadn�t been hard to guess. I felt as though it was all in a dream�It was what I�d wanted for sixteen years, to have Casey love me that way. But it was bittersweet. We both knew that, in a matter of days, I�d more than likely be going out to LA and Casey would be remaining in NYC. Which wasn�t the best of circumstances. I felt him gently stroke my hair, then lift my head slightly and lower it to the pillow as he stood up. I sat up as I watched him slowly dress and walk to the door of my bedroom. �Casey�� I said in an odd voice. He froze as he heard me speak. I don�t think he�d realized I was still awake. �Casey, where are you going?� But in my heart I knew. I knew exactly where he was going, what he was doing�He thought it was a mistake. The one thing I�d thought had been right hadn�t been. How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh You're the only one who really knew me at all I was losing my best friend, and all I could do was sit there. He was walking out on me, and I couldn�t do anything. I couldn�t beg him to stay, I couldn�t apologize for whatever I�d done wrong, I couldn�t do anything except sit on my bed, silent tears rolling down my face. He still stood there, in the door, facing away, but not leaving. Not walking back in. Just standing. How can you just walk away from me, When all I can do is watch you leave Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all I wished more than anything that he would turn around. I wasn�t even asking that he would walk back to the bed, I just wanted him to turn back toward me. I couldn�t read his expression when he faced away. Didn�t know if he was regretful or disappointed or lonely or angry or what. For all I knew, he was thinking about whether or not to leave, and certainly not the reason why. Did he think it was wrong because we�d been upset about the probability of the show failing completely? Was it that he realized he didn�t love me? I wished he�d tell me what it was, and yet at the same time, I didn�t want to know. So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me ,just the memory of your face Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face Natalie had said once that, no matter what, if Jeremy would look at her, she could get either her way or an answer from him. All she had to do was look up at him with large, innocent eyes. But this was different. This was me and Casey, and we knew each other too well to fall into those traps. But at the same time, he�d always hated seeing me cry. Whenever I�d be upset, he�d make it his personal mission to try and help, if only by trying to take my mind off of it when he was the problem. But he wasn�t blamable for that. It was the thought, his efforts that counted. Now he couldn�t even see that. He was staying turned away from me, in the doorway, the threshold. A threshold in so many ways. We�d crossed it earlier, the threshold between friendship and more, and now he was crossing it again, between friends and not. I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why You're the only one who really knew me at all �Look at me,� I commanded quietly. �At least look at me, dammit!� He hesitated, then turned to face me, eyes downcast. He bit his lip. �Casey�why?� I asked, barely getting the words out. �Why are you leaving? What did I do wrong? Please, just tell me�� I was nearly begging, pleading with him, tears flowing shamelessly in rivers down my cheeks. �Please, what did I do?� So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here And you coming back to me is against all odds It's the chance I've gotta take �Oh, Dana,� he said softly. �It�s not you�it�s�Tonight�It was wrong.� He sat down on the bed and gently thumbed away the tears. �We used the fact that we�d not see each other for an excuse to rush things. I�I love you so much. But this�it wasn�t right somehow. Maybe because it felt more like a requirement, that it was something I had to do before you left, maybe because it felt like it was under time restraints�Maybe because I was afraid of what might happen if you stay in New York, afraid of what you�d think of me, what you DO think of me�� He hugged me gently. �I�m sorry.� He stood again and walked out. Moments later, I heard the front door close. And then I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed. Take a look at me now� |