Simple thoughts about the Death

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How different it could be?...How many notions of it you could have? How many kinds of pain you could feel meeting it? How many thoughts may it be dedicated? Writings...songs...arts...The Death is a part of the human consciousness, of the human self, of the growing of mind. It is a part of the cultures and times. The adoption of the thought about your own death is an adoption of the fear and the sense of its unfairness. The adoption of the thought about your own death is the awareness about your own existence.


"The human birth is so unfair. The human wasn't asked about this - " do you want to exist or not?" The human hasn't the right to take decision about the own existence from the birth" - it has been heard lately, told by one Bulgarian writer. The baby comes in the world unasked, the consciousness develops with the time and growing - (and  that other, called - soul), whatsoever is the following life - happiness, sufferings, troubles, illnesses, problems, loneliness, fights, wars, etc, etc, the human has his/her own life and have to proceed it to the end, and he/she normally wants it. It is not only the instinct of self-preservation that keep us from the uneasy decision to stop existing, when we can't find the meaning of it or when we extremely suffer, but the sense that we have to find our souls, the meaning of that unfairness of existence, of that - Self.


Everyone drives for happiness, success and good life. If we have them - isn't it then more difficult to say farewell to the life? The fear that everything may ruin in such cases follows to the desperation. In the best case - we push the thoughts about the death away. There is a sense that there is no meaning - and the thought  follows  to despair of the existence - "the culture of death" - decadent, lack of beliefs, alternative beliefs, art of suicide... The thought about Death, the try for its adoption raise it in a cult. Its presence in beliefs and in the culture reduces the fear of it.

But what is the happiness at all? When we are so far from the death, when we are so deep in the life that we forget about the death? Though knowing that it is always (can be) close...The moments, when we feel the fulfillment of the life, satisfaction and peace, the moments, when we feel we have victory over the death, because in such moments we don't care about it...It may come...We are free because we are not afread... My death is my freedom... The acceptance of my ending, my release from the life and  the world - from me - isn't it the moment for which we prepare ourselves all the life? "I can go out from the life happy - because all my life has been happy... All my time I've been in the life...I can leave peacefull...My life wasn't worthless..."... The happiest moments are when we are in some culmination of any emotion...any broken limits...and the last - the limit of the death... "I am so happy now that I may die at the very  moment..." - we could say easy it in such moment...but if we would be  honest then? if we accept the breaking of the thread without any mental pain? The sweet pain... The fly of the body, the free expression of the spirit through the body... The fly of the soul... over the body?  Nirvana? If we ARE in our deaths?

Yes, we thought about the death when we can't receive that happiness of the life... The life hasn't this face which we wish it to has... It is clear that the opposition between the hell and the heaven may receive its clear image just in the real life... Then we, seeing the awfull, disgusting  sides of the life create awfull, disgusting image of the life, approaching its image to the image of the death... - accordingly to our imagination, feeded by the reality... Or we can't find our place among the happy world...

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  The public appearance of the death, the showing of the Death as a spectacle through the times, the public death – it is something from the culture of the times, but it is something that is common for all the times, all the cultures… The public death brings up… It is grandeur, it is tremendous, it is shared, it makes the body to shiver, it is… The people are piling on crowds…they are staring at the victim … what’s happened, how the others accept the death…how the others feel the torments…   When comes the moment?!…  The silence of the crowd... That is when the death is not total, in times out of  terror...

After "those" historical times, the death receives its presence on other scenes. The murderers, bloody fights, the cruelty of the mind, everything that is quoted in the present time in the culture, especially in films, the publicity, etc, etc…it takes the place of the previous “catharsis” of seeing the realty of the death…(We don't speak here about the mass death, about the disgusting features of the times.) It is shown in its pitiable, unhelpful side. The human has lost the own face in the death…the human remains pitiable corpse - its parts are taken apart, no heroism, just – what’s a fate…  Where is the respect to the death? ...In the gothic shops... The death is anonymous...

The death is shown in the modern times … even if it remains just a fiction, it is always around. The death is lowered and in the same time it is taken as a cult. Its public and spectacle side from the ages remains but  the personal is lost and there is anonymity of the human death in the fiction and cinema. The mind plays with the death...Isn't it another mark of the Apocalypse?   Or it is just one of the customs and fashions of the time... Time for consumers, where the goods, good-looking appearance, health and lasting life, pleasures and easygoing life are the others cults...that help the death to be forgotten... for a while...

The religion has its own ways for adoption. The Death is one of the main "substances" of religious beliefs, as well as it is in the human life at all. Death is in the content of the definition about religion. The Death is posed in the opposition of the Faith...Death is in the definition about Life...The Faith is in the Life. The really faithful people are the happiest people. We - the other - are empty, dried, hopeless, lonely, desperate, lost...Why we miss the light? Why we embrace the unfaith? Another secret, choice, fate...Or confusion? Sometimes we fight with the faith, take as an weapon its own doctrines involve them in one real dualism...Because the faith betrays us... We create some new faith... We pretend that we are awaken... but we know the high price for our life... We are just desperate passengers through the life...


Unhappiness, awful diseases, tough and difficult life on the other hand call a big power for living, desire for life and being in the world. Human spirit is seemed just then, when the death is the obvious simplest release from the life. 

On the other hand - when we know the price for the life and this life couldn't respond to our expectations...when the life is too far from our own desired imagine about it...when we see our weakness, helplessness, ...we call the death in the opposition of the life... 


The Death is as different as many are the human beings in the world. Everyone passes  through the thought about one's own death, it is something so individual and in the same time - something so common. The Death has different, milliards faces but one meaning - stop being in the world. This one that we know. If there is a different fear? This is one meaning - for me, for you, for every Self, what happens with Me, why I had to live and now have to die? Why I have to live suffering so much, if I have to choice the death, why no one asked me before my birth want or not to live? Wouldn't be easy then? What would be my choice then?

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What would be the date of my death? What would be the last that I will see, hear, think, feel? What will be the last pain, the last dream?

The death may be an extreme humiliation. The obsessing desire for killing someone else has its pathological meaning. Maybe it brings just a sense of power. Lowering the others death is a try for adoption the own death again. There is a link between the tormentor and tormentor's victim. If he watches in victim's eyes in the moment of the Death's coming? If the murderer takes the place of the victim in that moment, if receives a sense of catharsis, immortality? What is the Death? A humiliation - for the victim... Who ask me if I want to live? Who ask me if I want to die? Who choice the moment of my Death? The Fate? The Got? The Devil? The Murderer? Me? ...If I have to fight for my life or to accept pathetic my ending? 

What is the connection between the sex and the death? "What is the orgasm?" - asks one hair-maker her colleague - ""Orgasm? It is a small dying..." Every time we reach the culmination of the pleasure, the point of where we just leave our entity to pass...One small dying and one small birth...Knowing our own sexuality is as the thought about our own deaths...They say that SM plays finish not with orgasm but with catharsis...Because the thought about death is more obvious there. Because the participants enter more deep then whosoever in there entities, having much stronger link between them then whosoever. Link, that permits to the other to have your own pain, pleasure and death, link, that consists in itself the biggest power...Knowing themselves, exploring their deepest desires, bringing out the deepest "It" from their underconsciousness - the partnors receive the sense that being so close to the death they adopt it better...(maybe). Or that they re-birth through the play...through the passed limits...If  they receive somehow their purification...? One sexual game which roles show "dirtiest" sides of the human mind but which, played, have the sheer meanings...

Death means Life, Life means Death. Pitiable life often ends with  honourable death, and in the contrary - it is a lesson not just from the ancient romans. Isn't it truth that our life is just a preparation about our deaths? We celebrate the birthdays - the time, proceeded from the birth, not the time that remain to the death. We fight with the life and often we are so desperate that we call our death. What is better - a long preparation in disgusting, unhealed disease, after the fight with it and the gradual realizing of our own ending, slowly way to the inalterable death, way full with sadness, wisdom, power of spirit, love to life or to the others... or the instantaneous, unwanted, doesn’t waited, ridiculous, preposterous death, caused by chance...The question with what Ceasar was asked ...

The extreme fear from the Death sometimes attracts to the Death. The thought about death obsesses mind, the fear calls it. Isn't it truth that the only escape from the fear is the pure submission to it?

What is the others' death about us? It make us sad. It leaves us apathetic...It leaves for us a memory about the pathetic side of the life. It leaves us tormented, ruined, desperately lonely...It remains us for our own deaths and it calls us...It releases us that our time isn't come yet...and it warns us...And we are going on in the life more and more lonely...With every told farewell to something in our life we tell farewell to something into us, something - part of us. 

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The answer of the question - why is the death is the answer of the question why is the life...why is the consciousness...the world...me...There are moments of the human life when the questions come as waves... In the early youth and in the old age... In the moments of desperation...In the same time and in the other times - when we don't think about such topics, - we just live... Who could answer to these questions? If we have to seek for the answers at all...But we seek for...Everyone for oneself...for one's Self, Soul, Life...Why? Because we live and take decisions...Why we have to live? Because in the life there are many others things...because there are love, sympathy, beliefs, mind, reason (leaving behind the creation, inventions, art, joys...) ... Yes, the nihilism says - "pffffffff", "no", "bullshit"...- Why?! Because of the betrayal of the life, ideas and traditions? Or because of the inevitability of the death...? ... There are the  reasons... but...  

... There are the others. Everything is in the life, the life is shared...The life is the secret and wonder...The death is a secret and wonder...Because we weren't asked...Because we can build our life...Because we have our spirits and souls... Because we are in the life...