| Snarflebarrel Person of the Month |
| Look at this guy! Untouchable! Never before have we seen a character quite this cool, this hardcore, and oozing with sex appeal whilst simultaniously looking like your friend's Dad. Let us take this opportunity to delve deeper into the brave and baron mind of Chuck Norris - not just a neolithic face. This modern day powerhouse, this hero, this piltdown man has been the centre of so much action and so much legendary events. He is now a well established figure, a relick. Its his sheer style and comical value which has led to Chuck being a snarflebarrel hero. What more of a perfect night in for the average snarflebarreler than a bottle of buckfast, a few reefers, munchies, and some quality Chuck Norris Flicks. Bliss. But its not all kicking ass and being a sex god. Oh no - Norris is much more than just a piece of cinematic art. Although being a stud, a genious, a hero and a windowlicker - Norris also has a deep side. A side he struggles to show us all - a heart, a soul. This month we look at the story of Chuck Norris, and just what makes him the amazing icon he is today. |
| PAST WINNERS: |
| liptist |
| "Chuck Norris - Absolutly Flawless" |
| - Norris, Laying Down The Law - |
| Chuck started life around 200 B.C, somewhere in central America. At this time America was joined to most of Africa - as was the rest of the continents. Raised by his neanderthol family, Chuck was hardened into a figure which he still reflects in his power today. What with the entire world being so close to him, Chuck developed a keen eye for travel. After his family sent him out to the wild on his own Chuck set off on an epic quest. What happened next is uncertain as many of these records where destroyed during the spanish enquizition. However, from ancient manuscripts it was revealed that he showed up a few thousand years later in Ancient China. It was here he was captured by the cruel rulers and warlords. He served the next few years as a captured gimp-slave to the elite Chinese emporers. However, Norris was smarter than he looked - while getting slam fucked up the ass by the Chinese rulers, he kept a keen eye on the many Martial Arts masters training, secretly building up a directory of killer moves. When the time was right, Chuck unleashed a great fury and whoop chinese ass outta there. Today he continues to kick ass around the world against many Kung-Foo masters that once part-took in some heavy BDSM and Public Sex Humiliation acts with him. And for this he is forever in revenge! |
| E.T. FIDEL CASTRO, Mickey J Vixen |
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| -This diagram gives us a rough idea of where Norris fits into the time line.(Note sloped head like ancestors)- |
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| Left:- Does this guy know how to party?! Hahahah, this is what i always loved about Chuck Norris, the man is a fucking comic genious. This is one sarcastic bastard, and look at that waste band, hilarious. To change and save childrens lives? Chuck always knew to leave the steriods to him, not the kids. The drugs for the kids where just to change their lives, to let them see the real world, to let them party and trip their faces off. To let them relax and think of new theories and 'what really matters'... to let them hear new things in music. This is one of those pictures that makes you think "I wish Chuck was my dad"... aswell as "What the fucks wrong with this guys face?" |
| Left:- Chuck never forgot about his roots. Here we see him visit the family. He shows them his new moves and does some training. You can really see the awe and pride in his onlooking familys eyes. In Norris' eyes all we see is pure determination and clueslessness. |