"Shinya, you gatta speed it up. His contractions are getting closer, the baby want's to come out!!"

"How is he even having contractions anyway? Come to think of it, how in the hell is he pregnant in the first place?! He is male!!...unless...unless there's something you are hiding from us Kaoru??"

"UGHhhh.. Shut the HELL UP DIE!!!!" Kaoru reached out to grab Die, but Die had seated himself the farthest away from Kaoru in the back-seat. Instead he grabbed a hold of Kyo's hair.

"ItAIiII!!! KAORU LET GO!!!"

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!! YOU DID THIS TO MEEEEEE!!!" Kaoru clenched his teeth and tightened his grip on Kyo's hair as another contraction hit.

"AHHHHH!!! Dude let go!!!!!" As the pain eased a bit, his hands fell from Kyo's hair. Kyo's hands immediately flew to his head, to rub the sore spot...his eyes drifted down only to see blonde strands of hair still gripped in Kaoru's fist. ".........my...my....my hair"

Kyo's mourning over his lost strands of hair was cut short by Die.

"So it was you Kyo!" Kyo quickly snapped his head towards Die, at the accusation.

"It was me, what?"

"That put Kaoru in this condition..." A smirk spread on Die's face "...I'm hurt Kyo. I always pictured us having a family. Two kids and a dog of course. I would come home from work to find you putting dinner on the table. But now... well at least you kept it in the band!" Die kept smirking, as he saw Kyo's eyes squint into a glare.

"..........."

"Congratulations Kyo!" With that Kyo moved to strangle Die...

"IT'S NOT MINE!!....ACCKkKKkhskdl;aiwnga;......" Kyo was pulled back hard by his hair.

"AHHHHhh!!!!!!" ....it was Kaoru again. This time he pulled Kyo down into his lap..face first.

"ITAIIiii!!!!! ..eh....eh... eh..... get me AWAY FROM HERE!!!!" Kyo started pushing, trying to get away from Kaoru's uhh.. stuff. Unfortunately Kaoru had a death grip on his hair. Now with every pang of hurt, Kaoru flung Kyo up and down... left to right... smashing into Die..

"Kaoru! Hey watch where you're swinging that thing!!!"

"ACHHHHDSINgfgeirjio...DIEHELPMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

"Kaoru! I know you're in pain, but let go of Kyo!" It was Totchi, not Die who came to Kyo's rescue.

"DAMMIT!!! UGHhHHhh.. YOU WILL PAY FOR DOING THIS TO ME!!!"

"KAO... KaoOOOoOO AhhhHHH!!"

"Let go Kaoru!!!" This time Kaoru listened and let his hand slip from Kyo's head.

Kyo whimpered and crawled into Die's lap. Die's eyes lit up, as he felt Kyo's little body curl up on him. Kyo didn't notice the hentai gleam that was being directed at him.

"Hey, Kaoru would you stop saying that it's my fault! I didn't even touch you!" Kyo could feel eyes on him. He turned his head to see Die staring at the top of his head. "....ano.....Die what are you staring at?"

Die reached up, and patted Kyo's head "You're going bald"

"I'm what?" Kyo reached up, and found that even more hair was gone from just a mer second ago.".....my....my hair... " another whimper escaped from his lips.

"Aww poor Kyo-chan" Die playfully ruffled his blonde messy hair.

"I'LL KYO-CHAN YOU!!" Kyo lunged forward and wrapped his hands around Die's throat. Ready, so very ready to squeeze the life out of Die, the car lunged forward with a screeching halt. Kyo flew forward smashing into the back of the front seat...leaving Die unharmed.

"We're here! Quick help Kaoru out!!" Shinya shouted.

"Yeah Kyo, this is no time for petty arguments." Die smiled, and squeezed his way out of the back-seat, which was no easy task since Kyo's legs were wrapped around his waist. ^^

Once Die was out, Kyo slid down the seat squishing himself between the front and back seat. "....stupid Die." Kyo twisted and contorted his body and crawled out of the back seat. Once out, he just crawled all the way around the car, to join the rest of Dir en grey.

Die and Toshiya were already helping Kaoru get out of the car. For the first time, Kyo notice how big Kaoru was. He definitely looked pregnant now, how he couldn't tell before was a mystery.

"Kyo are you going to sit there, or are you going to help?!" Shinya was sure being bossy.

"I'm not sitting" Kyo mummbled
"Then what are you doing?"

".....crawling...."

"Whatever, get up and help Kaoru."

"I don't need any help!" Kaoru growled and pushed Die and Toshiya away for emphases. "I'm fine, I can walk without you guys hovering all over me!"

"...but Kaoru you're condi.." Shinya started.

"Condition? Would you stop calling it that. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you guys can treat me like a girl.. I don't need any..any..hel..any hel.." Kaoru froze as he felt another contraction coming.

"Kaoru, are you okay?" Toshiya checked the stopwatch again.

"..any....Uhh Kyo, could you come here please?" Kaoru's voice went sweet. Very scary.

Kyo's eyes got big. "NO."

Everyone looked down at him, he was still in a crawling position.
"KYO!" Toshiya and Shinya shouted at the same time

"Kyo, how can you be so rude when Kaoru is in this condiii...er....when he's about to give birth!" Toshiya reprimanded, while Shinya nodded with agreement.

"Yeah Papa Kyo, go help Mama Kaoru!" Oh, how Die was loving this.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Both Kaoru and Kyo shouted at Die.

"Well, SOOoory! Hmm.. hate to be that kid, both parents are moody as hell."

"I said I am not responsible for that!" Kyo jumped up, ready to apply his strangle hold on Die again.

"Ooh Kyooo...can you please come here. I promise I'm not going to hurt you again." Kaoru was lying. Of course he was going to hurt him! The pain was getting worse, he just needed to grab a hold of that hair.

Kyo stopped his attack, and stared at Kaoru.

"No."

"PLeaAAse Kyo. I...I need you" Kaoru held back a scream as the pain increased. Die snickered at how ecchie that sentence sounded.

"No. No.. NO!! I get anywhere close to you. You're gonna apply a death grip to my hair! No way."

Damn...must pull hair.. must pull Kyo's hair....any hair!

"Since you want to help Kaoru so much, why don't you let him pull your hair Toshiya...." A sadistic smirk appeared on Kyo's face. Kaoru quickly turned to Toshiya a pleading look in his eyes.

Toshiya gulped as conflicting thoughts popped in his mind. First off, he really wanted to help Kaoru. He would do anything to make Kaoru feel better..but..but this was his hair!!!

"Ano... Ano..."

"Totchi?"

"Ano......"

"Is she in labor? Quickly orderly get a wheel chair!" Toshiya inwardly sighed in relief as he saw a nurse running towards them.

Die leaned down to whisper in Kyo's ear.

"That nurse said 'she'....heh...boy is she in for a shock." Kyo just nodded.

The nurse reached the group, the orderly just behind her.

"Now, Miss.. just relax. We're gonna help you, first we need to take you inside and ask you some questions." The nurse had not looked at Kaoru's face the whole time. She was busy making sure the wheelchair was ready for the patient to sit in.

She then slightly pushed...uhh guided Kaoru down into the chair. She made sure his feet were placed on the foot stool thingy. She noticed, that this mother-to-be had very big feet. She moved up the body to see very guy looking clothes. Strange....I know Mother's like to feel comfortable, but guy's clothes? Finally she looked at the face. As her eyes took in his features, bone structure..she gasped.

"You're...You're a...."

"Guy."

"..But...but you're"

"Pregnant."

"....Oh dear." The nurse looked down at her clipboard that she had been carrying. "Orderly, please take him inside..he need to see a doctor NOW!" The orderly nodded, and quickly wheeled Kaoru through the sliding doors. The nurse stood, her back still to the rest of the group. Her head slowly shaking back and forth as she wrote on her clipboard.

"Ano.. Miss?" Shinya called out.

The nurse turned around, forgetting that there had been a group of people who had brought the young man.

"Yes?"

"Well, what about his bag? We brought his things with him...you know, for his hospital stay."

"Oh, yes of course. I can take it in with me." Shinya hesitantly handed over the bag. The nurse was about to leave, but stopped herself.

"You're his friends right?"

"Hai!" Toshiya answered.

"Umm, Is he really a guy?"

".....Yes."

"Oh, well do you know who the father is?"

"Hai!"

"Great, can you tell me...for the records of course."

"Niikura Kaoru" The Nurse wrote that down.

"....and which one of you is Niikura-san?"

"Uhh.. Kaoru is the one who is pregnant." Totchi explained.

"Oh! Yes, sorry...I meant, who is the other Father?"

Three sets of eyes flashed to Kyo.

"Hey! I told you guys, I'm not the one!!!"

"Ano..sorry we don't know who the Father is..." Shinya answered

"I see....well there is a waiting room in the maternity ward, fifth floor. I'm pretty positive he will have a C-section. That...that will take some time."

Toshiya gasped, Shinya closed his eyes, and Kyo looked down at his shoes.

"Thank you Miss. Please, keep us updated on his condition." Die asked, his early attitude gone once the idea of Kaoru having an operation was brought to light.

"Yes, I'll make sure you're informed." She bowed slightly and walked inside.

"Lets go in guys....it's getting cold out here." Die started walking in, the rest not saying a word followed behind.

~*~*~later in the maternity ward*~*~*~

"It's been an hour, where is that nurse?!" Shinya was pacing in front of Die and Kyo, who sat next to each other.

"Shinya, could you stop....you're blocking the TV." Kyo pouted.

"TV!!! You're worried about missing TV when Kaoru is right now sliced open and having a human being pulled out of him!"

"Calm down Shinya! Why don't you go look at the babies with Toshiya" Die suggested. Shinya turned to see Toshiya making funny faces at the newborns.

"I'd rather not..." *sigh* "Poor Kaoru, How could this happen!?"

"You see Shin-chan, when a guy and a guy like each other, they get together and have wild..passionate.."

"DIE!!! I didn't mean that!"

"You weren't specific..."

"..........." Shinya rolled his eyes "You know what I meant Daisuke..."

"Would you guys shut up! I'm trying to watch this show." Shinya sat down next to Kyo, and stared blankly at the screen.

"Iron Chef?"

".......yes."

"Since when do you watch Iron Chef?"

"Since this is the only freaken channel that's working in this damn hospital."

"Oh" Shinya stared some more.

"Is...is that Gackt?"

"Please Kyo turn it off! I don't wanna see his face again!" Die pleaded.

"Fine..Fine.." Kyo got up, and turned the TV off. The waiting room went silent. Kyo looked around trying to find something else to keep him occupied. Soon the sound of Shinya nervously drumming his fingers on the side of the chair he was sitting in filled in the void.

After a few minutes of Shinya's drumming another sound joined in. A clicking noise would rhythmically sound. Kyo looked over at Die, but saw that he had stretched himself over two chairs and was trying to take a nap. His eyes moved to Toshiya, but Totchi was now drawing animals on the window with lipstick. The clicking was getting louder, and more faster.

Kyo looked down the hallway, and saw the source of the clicking. A lone figure made it's way down the corridor, his heeled boots clicking with each step. Kyo squinted, trying to see the figure clearly. It, looked awfully familiar. Too familiar.

"Kyo! Kyo..is that you?" The figure called.

"Kirito?"

"Hai!"

"What are you doing at a hospital?" Kyo began to worry...if any word got out that Kaoru was giving birth, the place would be surrounded by media in an instant.

"Oh, heh funny thing...During a Live, Aiji and I were doing some fanservice. It's this thing where Aiji leans back and I..."

"Kirito, get to the point..."

"Eh, sorry.. Well, Aiji threw his back out from bending that way soOOo many times. So, we had to rush him to the hospital. Poor Aiji.. *sniff*... but it gets me away from Gackt! You know, he only lets me out for concerts, interviews and photo shoots ever since that day...."

"What day?" This got Kyo's attention.

"The day when I.." Kirito looked at his wrist that only had a silver chain bracelet wrapped around it. "Oh, hey look at the time! I'll catch up with you later...kay? Bye!" Kirito ran down the corridor before Kyo could say a word.

".....oOOokay"

"I never thought of Kaoru as being...the...uhhhh.." Kyo heard Die try to come up with the best word. Die, who was still draped across the chairs, was staring at the ceiling, talking to no one in particular.

"Receiver?" Kyo asked, hoping that's where Die was heading with this conversation.

"Hai! That's it. I never thought that Leader-san would be taking it in the end."

"That's gross Die!" Shinya stopped his drumming, as he listened in. Die stretched a little, and sat back up.

"Well, can you think of any other ways how he became pregnant Shin-chan?"

"You don't have to be so vulgar..."

"Fine let me just say that again. *ahem* I never thought that Leader-san would let someone stick their di..."

"DIE!" Shinya cut him off.

"Hey, who do you think stuck their di..."

"KYO!!"

"Loosen up Shinya...."

"Yeah Shin-chan, plus Kyo brought up the greatest mystery of all!"

"I think that Kaoru being pregnant is the biggest mystery Die.." Shinya rolled his eyes ...again.

"That is where you're wrong! Yes, Kaoru being pregnant is something that doctors will be studying for a lifetime....but, for him to be pregnant in the first place...there has to be a guy! A guy with so much strength and power that would make our Leader-san get on all fours like a two-dollar hooker!"

"Ewwww" Shinya covered his face with his hands, wishing he had never gotten himself into this conversation.

"Bet it was Toshiya." Kyo said out loud. All three heads turned to see Toshiya putting on a puppet show for the babies, with puppets that just moments ago were his socks.

".....I guess not." Kyo sighed as the rest looked away.

"Ano..." A small voice interrupted the silence that once again fell on the group. The nurse who had talked to them outside of the hospital stood in front of them. She still carried the clipboard. Die was the first to react to her presence.

"How is he?" Die stood up, Shinya and Kyo stayed seated letting Die be the representative. Toshiya was still by the baby observation window, but his attention was now on the nurse.

"Well, he made it through the c-section. He was awake during it, was as calm as I have seen any wom...eh..any person giving birth. The doctors are still baffled on how the baby developed seeing as Niikura-san had no female anatomy. We have no clue on how this could have happened..."

"You see..." Die interrupted "When a guy and a guy like each other they get together and.."

"DIE!!" Shinya cried out, appalled that Die would bring *that* up in front of a lady.

".....Yes, we expected as much. But with no female contribution we...we are stumped. Well, anyway as soon as Niikura-san is rested the doctors will want to talk to him."

"...How, is the baby?" Toshiya asked quietly. The nurse smiled and the simple request.

"Doing just fine. Such a beautiful girl, 7 pounds 6 ounces. "

"Girl? Kaoru had a girl?" For some reason Kyo had thought that Kaoru would have some weird mutant lobster.

"Hai, a very healthy girl."

"Ah! Kawaii!" Toshiya's eyes gleamed with all the possibilities of having a little girl.

"Can we see them?" "Uhh...well, the doctors are examining the baby, and Niikura-san...well...well"

"..I don't like the sound of that."

"Ano, when the baby was born. One of the attending nurses showed him the baby which is very customary. I said before that Niikura-san had been very calm during the delivery, but when he was shown the baby he became quite....manic."

"....and?"

"And..we had to sedate him."

"................"

"He is fine really, and you can visit him for just a few minutes. Just remember that he isn't going to be himself."

"What room is he in?"

"He's in room 504."

"Thank you Miss." With that Shinya and Kyo got up, and started following Die down the hallway. Toshiya bowed slightly to the nurse, and followed his bandmates.

"How come we never noticed that he was pregnant?" Kyo wondered out loud.

"He was wearing baggy clothes..." Toshiya started.

"He quit smoking...for the time being.." Shinya continued.

"He quit drinking..." Die sighed.

"He was wearing bandages on his chest...." Kyo finished.

"He was wearing what?" Die asked.

"Bandages, I guess he was taping down his...his...." Kyo didn't want to say it.

"Boobs" Totchi plainly said.

"Waiiit....Kaoru's got boobs?" Dies eyes filled with amusement.

"Well, I'm just guessing you know. He said that he hurt his ribs or something. I doubt that was the real reason now, bet they started growing when his belly did."

"Which is why he didn't take his shirt of during the last photo shoot!" All the facts were adding up, yet they still couldn't believe how they didn't come up with the answer a long time ago. Well, except all these symptoms were being applied to a male.

"Heh..Kaoru's got boobs."

"Shut up Die...poor Kaoru" Shinya shook his head as the neared Kaoru's room. When they reached the door, Toshiya placed his hand on the knob. Before turning it, he looked back at the group.

"Remember what the nurse said....he's not going to be acting normal."

"Yeah, yeah we remember. Open the door already!" Kyo was tired of waiting and wanted to see Kaoru...all of them did.

"Okay then" Toshiya slowly opened the door. The room was dark, and nothing moved.

"Kaoru? Kaoru...are you okay?" Shinya left the others at the door, and went to Kaoru's bed. Finding it empty, his eyes grew in alarm. "KAORU...where are you?"

Eyes searched around the still darkened room. Shadows made their way, slicing the darkness with blinding white. They've come for me....they're gonna take me away. Oh, no..NO! Not this time.

"Kaoru?!"

*They know my name...of course they do, they know all about me. I won't go peacefully...I'm not going out like that!* Kaoru leapt into action!

"Back!!! Back you rabid fangirls!!!" Kaoru jumped up from the crouching position that he was in. He was dressed in a gown, and yes it was backless with the strings that were supposed to keep things in place.

"Don't take one step closer!!" Kaoru stood madly, he held two straws together to make a cross. "BACK!!!"

"Kaoru...calm down, there are no fangirls here." Shinya stepped closer.

"BACK I SAID!!!" And Kaoru waved the straw-cross at Shinya. Toshiya jabbed Die in the ribs with his elbow..

"Itai! Totchi what was that for?!" Die rubbed the spot, now all sore.

"Do something, before he gets out some make-shift holy water."

"Yeah, Hurry Die...if that's what he's using as a cross, I don't want to know what he's using as holy water." Kyo began to scoot his way behind Totchi.

"............" Die stared at Kaoru, not wanting to get close. "Anou.....Kaoru?"

Kaoru tilted his head, his expression changed to that of hatred to thought.

"Daisuke?" He called out, not really seeing where his friend's voice was coming from.

"Hai, it's me" Die stepped closer, keeping his hands up in defense...just in case.

"Die! I got things under control. They were after me! ....but....but I out smarted them!"

"Who's after you Kaoru" Die now made his way slowly to Kaoru's side.

"THEM. Those fangirls over there. See, I told you I had things under control...if I didn't they would be all over you right now!"

"Uhh...Kaoru there are no fangirls over there..." Die had looked over to where he thought that Kaoru was referring too, but only saw Shinya, Totchi and Kyo.

"HA! They've fooled you too, lucky I was here Die. Sure they look like Shinya and Totchi...but they're just cosplayers!! ...good ones at that....and they even got their little brother to cosplay Kyo!"

"Little brother?? .....Oh no I'm not taking that!!" and Kyo puffed out his chest, trying to look bigger of course, and started to make his way towards Kaoru ready to stick those straws up....up....well Kyo would figure that out when he got there.

"Kyo!" Shinya quickly grabbed a hold of the back of Kyo's shirt and pulled him back. "Calm down! He's not himself remember!"

"Dammit Shinya! ...I don't care if he's himself or not! He called me a little brother!!" Kyo was struggling, but he couldn't get away from the strong hold of the drummer. "LET GO!!" But, Shinya kept his grip on Kyo.

Die held back a laugh, and tried to calm Kaoru down.

"Kaoru, listen...you are doing a great job. It must have taken a lot out of you, keeping those rabid fangirls at bay. Here...why don't you lay down, and I'll take over." Die said in a soothing tone.

"....I am feeling a little tired" Kaoru yawned "You sure you can handle them Die? They can get vicious...look at the little one there...ready to tear us apart!"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT NIIKURA....DAMMIT SHINYA LET ME GO!!!" Toshiya glared at Kyo, while Shinya didn't even break a sweat as he held on to Kyo.

"I'll try my best Kaoru. Why don't you give me that cross there, it seems to keep them back" Die led Kaoru to the hospital bed, while Kaoru handed over the cross.

"Be careful Die and if you need added protection, there's some holy water in that pitcher " Kaoru nodded towards a tray that had all the 'hospital' essentials. Die just nodded, as he covered Kaoru with blankets. He tried to resist the urge to see or feel for himself, if Kaoru had boobs or not.

"Did he say he had holy water?" Kyo stopped struggling ".....ewwwwww" Kyo quickly broke away from Shinya's grip and ran behind Totchi.

"Kyo, stop it! ....Die isn't going to use it on us."

"What? I don't get it, what's so wrong about holy water?" Shinya asked confused.

"Think about it Shinya." Kyo said sticking his head from behind Toshiya. "what kind of liquid is going to be available."

Shinya stared, not really understanding "... Water?"

"Close. But, it's not so clear."

"That is soOoo gross Kyo. Kaoru wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, but remember all those stories he told about when he was little. How he would pee on things to get even at people. Added to the fact, that he isn't all there right now."

"Oh, right. But it's still gross."

Toshiya ignored the two and walked up to the bed, as Kaoru was now asleep. "He's a mom....er dad. Strange isn't?"

Shinya walked to the other side of the bed, bringing a small towel to wipe the sweat that was on Kaoru's forehead. "Yeah...one of us has a kid....scary."

"....what's scary is what I think Die is about to do..." Toshiya and Shinya turned their attention from Kaoru and followed Kyo's disgusted gaze. Their eyes fell on Die, who had poured the "holy water" from the pitcher, and was now inspecting the golden liquid in a glass. He brought the glass to his nose, took a sniff. With a gleam in his eye, he brought the glass to his lips......and drank.

The three conscious Dir en grey members, gazed in horror as they watched Die down the 'holy water' ....

"EEwwww.... I hope you know I'm never doing fanservice with you again!!!" Totchi was the first to speak.

".....Dude, I would NEVER have even done that... that...that's...just..." Kyo was a loss for words...

"Nasty."

"Yeah, thanks Shinya."

"Guys, calm down. It was just apple juice.....like I would really drink his piss."

".............."

Die grinned.

"Anyway....what are we gonna do. I mean the press is going to find out." Shinya brought their attention back to Kaoru.

"We'll just have to deal with it when it happens. There isn't much we can say anyway.. we don't know how it happened. We don't even know who the father is!"

"Kyo!!"

"Huh?" Kyo turned his attention to the door, the door that he thought that he had closed behind him. But no, it was wide open and there stood Kirito in the doorway.

"....oooh...uhh..Kirito...hi."

"What's wrong? You usually have more to say than that Kyo." Kirito looked around the room and saw the worried faces of the rest of the group "...did I come at a bad time?"

"Yes! ...yes that's it.We need some time by ourselves...very traumatic. Need time to sort things out...yeah" Kyo started to push Kirito out the door. Trying to keep Kaoru's secret, a secret.

"Hey! Kyo.. Kyo.. you don't have to push." Kirito was about to turn around, when he caught a glimpse at who was in the bed. "Kaoru!? What happened to him?" Kirito pushed pass Kyo, and stopped just short of the foot of the bed.

"Ano...." Totchi started

"The doctors are not sure. They don't know how he got like that." Shinya spoke the truth, sorta.

"....I'm sorry. Wow...I just saw him a couple of months ago, now he's in a coma." Kirito pouted and stared down and Kaoru.

"Kirito, how long ago was the last time you saw Kaoru?" Die had that suspicious tone in his voice, that caught Kyo's attention.

"Hmm..some time ago.. like I said some months"

"Oh, so that would mean 3-4 months?"

"No, it was more..maybe 7 or 8 months...."

"How about 9 months?"

"....could be...why is that important?" Dir en grey exchanged glances.

"Kirito, was it 9 months ago that you did "something" that made Gackt put you under strict control?" Kyo asked.

".........yeaaaaah." Kirito was getting nervous. They weren't supposed to know, this was supposed to be a secret. No one was supposed to find out!

"Kirito did you and Kaoru have sex 9 months ago?" Kyo just said it.

Kirito stared around the room. Everyone was looking at him! It was a fling! ...that's all it was meant to be, and now he was paying for it with Gackt. Now, what where Dir en grey doing? What where they trying to prove with this bit of information?

"Ha...Hai" Kirito gulped.

"There it is, mystery solved!" Die shouted

"....What?....What mystery?"

"I don't know how to tell you this Kirito but...." Totchi started

"You're a Dad" Kyo finished

Kirito looked around again, very confused.

"Kaoru is not in a coma. He's just tired, and the drugs they gave him calmed him down. You see, Kaoru's in the hospital because....because" Shinya was trying to explain but, just couldn't finish

"because he had a baby" again Kyo finished.

"....what?"

"Your baby"

"WHAT??? ...How...how could that happen? I mean...it's impossible right? ..how..how did this happen??"

"You see Kirito, when you and Kaoru got together and had wild, passionate..."

"DIE!" Shinya cut him off

"Man, I'm never going to finish that sentence with Shinya around" Die pouted.

"Calm down Kirito" Toshiya ignored Die "We don't know how it happened, not even the doctors know! We didn't even know he was pregnant, kept it well hidden. The only reason we know now, is because we were with him when his water broke." Toshiya explained.

"Again, I still don't know how that's possible! They said he has no female parts, yet his water breaks! I swear he's hiding something from us..."

"Die, the doctors said he had no female parts. How can he hide that from them?"

"He hid his pregnancy from us for 9 months!"

"Guys....." Shinya tried to get their attention, Kyo just took a seat.

"The doctors had him sliced open! There is no way he could hide anything when he's unconscious, and fillet like a fish!"

"He could ... and plus he does have female parts, he has boobs!"

".....Guys....."

"They grew out of necessity, how else is he gonna feed the kid?"

"That's right, he has to breast feed. We gatta get that on video, would make a good addition for a fanclub only DVD..."

"I'm sure that's what you're gonna use it for....."

" ......heh...." Die stopped to think about it. "Hey! I wouldn't do that...."

"Sure you wouldn't, you were just thinking of our fans! I'm sure they really want to see Kaoru breast feeding."

".....guys"

"Actually I think some might.... " Kyo shuttered at the thought.

"Hey you guys think that Kaoru might let us....ya know?"

".....let us what?" Totchi knew, he just couldn't help himself from asking.

"..Ya know.....touch them."

"DIE!!! ......god, it's Kaoru.." Kyo shook his head.

"What?! I was just wondering. It's not everyday you see a guy with boobs."

"Poor Kaoru...wonder if he's gonna need surgery to get rid of those..."

"GUYS!!!"

"Damn Shinya! We're in a hospital, you have to keep your voice down." Die reprimanded.

"Well, if you guys weren't hung up on talking about Kaoru's boobs, then you would see that someone is about to have a nervous break down!" Shinya's eyes glared at Die.

"Hey guys, I think Kirito's gonna die or something." Kyo pointed at Kirito who was hyperventilating. Shinya rolled his eyes.

Die grabbed the pitcher of apple juice and a new cup.

"Kirito, here drink this." Die started pouring, while Toshiya started to rub Kirito's back.

"Didn't I say to calm down? Now take a deep breath.." Kirito nodded and took a few deep breaths. "Feeling better?" Totchi looked sideways, and saw Die holding out a cup "Die, get Kaoru's pee away from us!"

"Toshiya! I told you it's apple juice!" Die sighed and put the cup back on the bedside table.

"Whatever, he doesn't need that." He looked back to Kirito "Are you feeling better?" Kirito shook his head.

"....I just came here to ask Kyo, if he had seen Miyabi around. I saw him in the ER waiting room, I called his name but I guess he didn't hear me, kept on walking." Kirito shook his head again "..I came here just to ask, but then I'm told that I'm a Dad and it's Kaoru that had my kid!"

"Sucks doesn't"

"Kyo..." Shinya glared.

"Gackt's gonna kill me...." Kirito stared at Kaoru.

"Forget about him, besides this might be your ticket out. You have a child to support now, Gackt can't keep you enslaved anymore!" Kirito perked up, at the thought.

"You think? I dunno..."

"Kirito it's best during stressful situations not to think about such things. You should keep your mind occupied. Hey! I have an idea, why don't you tell us how you and Kaoru got together all those 9 months ago. Ya know..to keep your mind off the stress..." ...once again that hentai gleam was back in Die's eyes. "It really helps if you get really detailed.. ya know, how you hooked up. Where you went....how you guys decided who would be on top."

"God Die, don't trick Kirito into tell us anything. It's a private thing between him and Kaoru." "Shut up Shinya, I wanna hear this!" Kyo said, while scooting his chair closer to Kirito.

"Yeah Shinya, aren't you interested to find out? I mean we all know Kaoru, don't you want to find out why he was...the....well 'receiver'?" Totchi explained, while taking a seat on Kaoru's bed.

"..............you have a point." Shinya sat down on the opposite side of the bed, from Totchi.

"Ano..." The conscious members gazed at Kirito awaiting the story that had been on their mind the second Kaoru's water broke. "....ano...."

"Ki...Ki-ri-to" a voice choked out.

"Kaoru!" Kirito's eyes got big.

"Kiiii-riiiiii-toooooo...hehe you're name is fun to say!" Kaoru was still suffering from the effects of the drugs.

"Quiet Kaoru! Kirito's gonna tell us a story..."

"Kyo!" Shinya glared

"Mou, Kyo-kun you're mean." Kaoru had now pushed himself up, and was now sitting there pouting.

"Ano, are you feeling okay Kaoru?" Toshiya leaned closer to Kaoru, reaching up to feel his forehead. Kaoru immediately batted away Totchi's hand.

"I'm fine Totchi-kun!" He looked around at all the faces that were now coming in clearer. Or, at least clearer than they were when he first woke up. Then his eyes settled on Kirito.

"Kirito-kun!"

"....ha..hai..."

"Guys, Kirito-kun is soOOo much fun! Last time, we played this game, it sorta was like wresteling..'cept you had to take aAAall your clothes off. It was really fun! ...It did kinda hurt at first, but it got better. And Kirito-kun must play a lot cause he kept pinning me, but next time I'll beat him!" Kaoru beamed as he finished his appraisal of his friend.

Kirito looked at the other members of Dir en grey, feeling really weird.

"I feel dirty..." Kyo slid his chair back away from Kirito.

"Yeah, that wasn't right. I'm always up for a good story, but that sounded sick." Die turned back to the small table.

"Really Kirito, how can you take advantage of Kaoru like that?" Toshiya shook his head.

"What? I didn't! I mean, we did stuff but he wasn't acting like that!" Kirito began to twist is hands together, looking wildly from each band member, looking for someone to understand.

"Guys, remember Kaoru's under some heavy drugs." Shinya said while standing up.

"Er...right, sorry Kirito for thinking you were some kiddy perv" Toshiya bowed

"Ano..." Kirito stared at Totchi

"Yeah I'm sorry too. Here have a glass of apple juice!" Die once again held out the glass.

"Stop making other people drink Kaoru's pee! You might like it, but we don't!"

"Toshiya! I told you it's not pee!" Die pleaded.

"Sorry Kirito, you're not a kiddy perv, just a regular perv like rest of us. " Kyo cut in Toshiya and Die's argument.

"Speak for yourselves." Shinya rolled his eyes.

"What's a kiddy perv?" Kaoru asked, being totally lost on this 'adult' conversation.

~*~*~*~*~*~

While the group now regretting hearing the story, in the hallway wondered a lost jrocker. What's this? Another Jrocker in the hospital....yes. The tall, androgynous figure walked past each room, sticking his head in the opened doors.

"All these doors look alike. White..white...white...this place needs more color!" After checking a few more doors, he plopped down into a seat by a water fountain.

"Stupid Sakito. Sure it was funny when we did it to Kikasa but this is different! It's very wrong to push all the buttons on the elevator and leave a guy in there when he's putting on lipstick! ...So not fair, I didn't even know the elevator had reached our floor." He stopped his ramblings once he notice that someone has drinking from the water fountain and was looking strangely at him. He smiled weakly and looked down at the floor, waiting for the man to leave. I don't even know what floor I'm supposed to be on....stupid Sakito!

"Miss?" Miyabi looked up, brought out of his thoughts. "Miss, are you okay?" The fountain drinker asked.

Crap, not that 'Miss' thing again....

"Ano...."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Kaoru, get back in bed!" Totchi demanded while watching Kaoru and Die have a drinking contest with the apple juice. "...and Die, stop forcing that pee down people's throats!"

"Ewwwww Die-chan we're drinking pee!??" Kaoru looked down into his cup. "At least it's yummy pee!" With that Kaoru gulped downed the golden liquid. "HA! I beat you this time Die-chan!!!"

"Hey you cheated!"

"Ya know Kirito if he stays that way, you're gonna have to raise two kids." Kyo looked over to Kirito, who was still standing at the foot of the bed. "Kirito? ...ano..."

"I think he's just a little to overwhelmed with everything." Shinya stepped up to Kirito, and waved a hand in front of his eyes. "....not even a blink. He should lay down."

"He can't lay down Shinya, because KAORU HAS TO GET INTO BED!" Totchi's maternal instincts were kicked into overdrive.

"I don't think Kirito wouldn't mind sharing a bed, they did it before." Kyo sunk lower in his chair.

"Maybe we should call a doctor...." Shinya started to poke at Kirito's temple.

"Maybe Kaoru needs to get back into bed...."

"Mou Totchi-kun...I'm just playing with Die-chan!"

"Kaoru, you just had surgery...you need to rest or you might put strain on your stitches."

"...No I wont. I'll be careful, really! Let me play some more.. pleaaaaaaaase."

"Kaoru....."

"Fine!" Kaoru pouted and took the longest path back to the bed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Zooming down the highway, not caring for any speeding laws was a pink convertible bug. The license plate read 'Magnum', and from the blaring speakers came the unmistakable sound of popness. Making blind turns, weaving in and out of traffic.

"Kimi wa, boku no Vanilla"

You guessed it, THE Mad Aristocrat himself; Gackt. With one hand on the wheel, the other held a cigarette that he would idly take puffs from. Outside his features showed no cares, inside his mind erupted with furry.

I give him a home! Make him his favorite food! Let him go gallivanting with his so called "band" ...and this is the thanks I get! *Humph* I thought this was all behind us, but no! He had to go and pick the one freak that would get pregnant. Well, Kirito is MY slave, therefore any kids of his are mine!

Slamming on the breaks, coming with in inches of hitting a parked ambulance Gackto parked in the 'Ambulance Only' curb. Jumping out of the pink bug, tossing his keys as he ran past an irate EMT. "Keep it running, I'll only be a few." And without waiting for an answer he was inside the hospital asking for Niikura Kaoru's room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The elevator dinged. Looking up, Miyabi sighed.

"Floor five. This better be it." Stepping into the corridor, he silently whimpered as he saw that this floor looked exactly like the rest of the floors. Slowly he walked down the long hall. Oooo an open door! Yes! the first open door he'd seen. He ran to it, feeling slightly hopeful that he would find his bandmates.

".....Ano......Sakito?!" Miyabi shouted when he stuck his head into the room. "....oh, please, I'm sorry." All of Dir en grey and Kirito (yes he moved!) looked towards the door. "So sorry, I thought you were my band. I'll be going now." Miyabi was slowly becoming red, and left without another word.

"What's with this hospital? Is it the place for Jrockers??" Kyo turned away from the door.

".........Miyabi........." Kirito's voice became very low, as he gazed at the now empty door. "...heh.. umm I'll be back... yeah! ...Just need...a drink...yeah."

"Kirito, there's apple juice and water here..." Die was looking for another cup, and looked up "...hey....he left."

"I guess he didn't want Kaoru's pee..."

".....I told you Toshiya.."

"Guys, I don't think he's coming back..." Kyo stared at the empty door.

"Kirito wouldn't abandon his kid!"

"But, he left Kaoru alone for nine months..."

"Kyo, he had no choice. Gackt is very strict with him." Shinya took a seat.

"...Still."

"Maybe it's for the best. Would you want Kaoru's baby around Gackt?"

Kyo shivered at the thought.

"Okay Shinya, but he better send her stuff for her birthday!"

"uhh.. Okay."

*~*~*~*

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