| Happiness comes from within, it can never come from outside.
 A salesman was dismissed because he was rude to customers. Some days later the sales manager found him walking about in a police uniform.
" I see you've joined the police force, pal" said the manager.
"Yes sir. This is the job I've been looking for all my life. Here the customer is always wrong.
"Get up," shouted the boy's mother. "You'll be late for school."
" But I don't want to go," the boy protested. " All the kids are horrible, the teachers are always after me and its all extremely boring. I want to stay home."
"But, you have to go." replied the mother, " Now you are 42 years old and headmaster of the school"
A candidate came home one night and gave his wife the big news.
" Darling, I've been elected !"
" Honestly ?"she replied happily.
"Hey," he said. " Why bring that up? "
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in combat boots,torn jeans and an old jacket came upto him and asked "Hey man, wheres the toilet?"
"Go down the hall and turn left" replied the headwaiter. " When you see the sign marked "Gentlemen", pay no attention to it and go right inside."
Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by a train. At the station each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them.
"How are you going to travel on a single ticket?" asked a lawyer. "Wait and watch." answered one of the engineers.
When they boarded the train the engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. When the ticket collector arrived, he knocked on the toilet door and asked, "Ticket please." The door opened just a bit and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The ticket collector took the ticket and moved on. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to do the same on their return trip.
So when they got to the station, they bought only one ticket while this time, the engineeres didn't buy any. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked one of the lawyers.
"Wait and watch."replied one of the engineers.
In the train the three lawyers crammed into a single toilet while engineers got in to another toilet nearby. Soon after the train started, one of the enginners got out of the toilet and walked to the one where the lawyers were hiding.
He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket please."
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| Some Alternate Definitions |
|
1) Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
2) Tears: The hydraulic force by which the masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.
3) Bacteria: The back entrance to a cafeteria.
4) Ultimate: The last person to marry.
5) Vice versa: Dirty poems.
6) Net worth: Fisherman's income.
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>Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.
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