As a faithful scanner of web personals, I think I've seen about every type of ad one could possibly write. Most list geographical location, hobbies and interests, personality traits, age preferences and physical features of the writer. Others list the desired personality traits and physical features desired of the potential partner... some both. Some give too much information, some not enough. Occasionally you'll find pictures posted along with the ad. When writing your ad, there are some things to consider.

Geographical Location

Some ad's list the location of the writer, others don't. Personally, I think its important to list where you live... unless, of course, you have a strong desire to relocate. Think about it... Does it make sense to get involved with someone online who lives 3000 miles away if neither person is free to move? Hardly.

Relocating could mean, for some, losing years of job seniority and security, giving up a nice pension plan and taking a reduction in salary. Starting over in the job market usually gets tougher as we get older. Some employer's are reluctant to hire "older" employee's.

Often, there are children to consider. Could you, or would you, want to leave your children behind, or uproot them? If you're the custodial parent, there may be laws in your state prohibiting the move of children from the state where you currently reside.

When receiving a reply to my personal ad from someone who does not live nearby, I find it's best to ask a lot of questions in the first few email exchanges. "Are you willing, and can you, relocate?" "Do you have children, and how would relocating effect your relationship with them?" Seem too soon to ask these types of questions within the first few emails? I think not. You posted a personal's ad in search of Mr. or Ms. Right. It's no secret that your interested in developing a relationship with an ad answerer... it was the reason they responded. Better to get these details out of the way before you fall in love.

Keep these things in mind as you pen your personal's ad, or before you answer that reply you got from that seemingly wonderful someone who doesn't live within a reasonable distance.

Hobbies and Interests

Having a relationship with someone who share's a few of the same hobbies and interest's as you do is nice, but not essential. Some difference's help keep a relationship fresh and exciting... but not having an abundance of the same hobbies and interest's won't make or break a relationship. My goal has never been to find a 'clone' of myself, although I would prefer that my future partner and I share in some of our likes and dislikes. Most of the time, I list a few of my personal interests when posting an ad. It can give the person responding something to write about.

There are some consideration's if hobbies and interests do not meet. Maybe your potential love interest belongs to a club or group that meets for a week every year at a resort location... spouses not included. Could you live with that? You're dedicated two nights a week to your hobbies, your potential partner the same, on different nights. That leaves three nights a week for the two of you to spend time together if neither wants to give up their nights out. Is that acceptable? Your potential partner is addicted to golf. If your partner works the Monday through Friday day shift, that leaves him/her only the warm, sunny, summer weekends for golfing. Obligations to religious services (don't forget to discuss religious beliefs) and weekends spent with children need to be given consideration. hhhmmm... got you thinking?

Age Preferences

I've read ad's that list the exact age of the writer, others that do not, but may say "30ish", "40ish", etc. Some personal ads list the age range that the writer is comfortable with. I prefer to list both because I do have a range I find acceptable, and the reader may also have an �age comfort zone'.

At 41 years old, I doubt I'd feel comfortable sharing the my life with a 25 year old. I have had respondents in their 20's, politely thanked them for responding, and told them that I desired to meet someone older. Surprisingly, I often receive another response informing me that "age is just a number"... and it very well may be, but it's a number I choose not to ignore. For me, a range of 38-48 works. I find that I still receive responses from those 35-50. Sometimes a respondent, trying to be clever, will decline to tell me his age in the first few emails, ignoring my request. I've found that usually these respondents are significantly below or above my range.

Personality Traits

Some ads have a list ten pages long of personality traits either belonging to the writer, or those desired. Most I've found to be general, and the same thing we're all looking for... someone honest, trustworthy, responsible, mature, kind, caring, understanding and considerate. Who expects anything less? Who considers themselves anything but? Have you ever read an ad that said, "dishonest, irresponsible, cruel and inconsiderate male/female seeks..." No... and you won't, even if the person does have those undesirable personality traits. I like to assume that all humans are basically good, although I know that isn't the case, but I'll give each the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise.

It's preferable to show personality traits by the things I write in my ad... "...take in stray animals (I'm kind), volunteer at the local homeless shelter (I'm caring), love laughing and visiting comedy clubs (I have, and appreciate, a sense of humor), enjoy holding hands, moonlit walks and candle light dinners (I'm romantic)." I find it much more interesting to read than "I'm kind, caring, am romantic and have a sense of humor," etc. Getting the picture?

Physical Attributes

This is a tricky one. Consider this... most people think they have at least one "fatal" physical flaw... something they don't like about themselves. This tends to be true of men and women. Concentrate on listing only the attributes you do like about yourself, or the attributes that others have commented favorable upon... "I have a warm smile, expressive eyes, etc."

For women, I've found the most touchy subject to be weight. Most North American women believe they are at least somewhat overweight. And no wonder! Look at all the ad's in magazines and on television... ultra thin, waif-like models... screaming to us women that if you're not a size 5 or smaller, you're inferior and undesirable. So, do you list your weight or not? If you choose to, then at least be honest. I prefer not to, as pounds can be deceiving. You can take two people 5' 7" tall at 150 pounds and they'll both probably look quite different. One may look "average" while the other looks "chunky." People carry weight differently. I like to let the potential love interest be the judge... first through pictures and then later in real time.

I am honest, in that I always tell men that I would like to, and need to lose, about thirty pounds. Now, whether the man I meet thinks I need to lose 30 pounds, is a matter of opinion... his. Thirty pounds lighter is what I would feel more comfortable with, but Mr. Potential Life-mate may not feel the same. He may think I look wonderful where I'm at, and again, he may think I need to lose more. It all depends on his perception. I'm 41 years old, childbirth having taken its toll, gravity tugging away, menopause around the corner, less active than I was at 25 and my metabolism is slowing. If it's Barbie he's looking for, then he needs to look elsewhere... maybe in the 18-25 year old range... because Barbie I ain't.

For men, I've found they are most concerned with height, not weight (men are not nearly as discriminated against because of weight). Almost every man under 6' tall that I've met has exaggerated his height by a few inches. I'm 5' 7" and if a man thinks I won't notice that he's three inches shorter than I am, or that he's wearing platform shoes, he's only fooling himself. My only criteria... that my partner be taller than I am... and that means being at least 5' 8". Personally, I think women are less concerned with height than most men think... but honesty they are concerned with. Moral of the story... Don't list your height at 6' if you're 5' 6".

Attractiveness. Do we say in our ad that we are attractive? Why bother? Whether you consider yourself attractive, is subjective. I may think I am gorgeous (or hideous). I may compare to Cindy Crawford to some, the bride of Frankenstein to others. I have said in some of my ads that I am considered attractive. More men than not have told me I'm attractive, but you be the judge. This is me. See... I'm sure there are some out there right now who are wide-eyed and thinking "ohmygod... she must be kin to Godzilla and all the men who've met her and told her otherwise, are blind."

Women: No need to list your measurements (unless they're perfect) or the cup size of your bra... unless you're looking for a sexual encounter.

Men: No need to list the length and girth of your manhood, or explain that you're 'well endowed'... because as with height, that's subject to exaggeration also *grin*.

If you're going to list the physical attributes you desire in someone, at least be realistic. I've ran across ad's where the writer says "prefer blue-eyes, blonde hair". Every redhead and brunette, or blonde without blue eyes, who reads that ad will have it in the back of his/her mind that IF a relationship developed, you'd find them less desirable, second best, or always be looking for that blue-eyed blonde. As for me... I'm not particular about eye color or hair color. Hell, I don't even care if my significant other has hair or not... so why limit myself?

Remember, no one is perfect... and the longer your list of desires, more than likely, the less responses you'll receive. Not everyone thinks they're "all that". As your list grows, so do the odd's lessen in finding someone with everything on your "wish" list.