.                      Bonds of Choice #5
                  Star Wars: TPM FanFic Series
                         by HiperBunny
                        (message 4 of 7)
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Qui-Gon gathered Obi-Wan's sleeping form up in his arms, mindful of the
wounds, and carried him back to his rooms.  He placed his Padawan facedown
on the bed, gathered a washcloth and water and began the second part of his
duty.  Damnable duty!  This was one of the most filthy, low, disgusting
parts of training.  No.  It was THE most inhumane and unforgivable part. 
Obi-Wan would never understand Qui-Gon's dislike of the technique.  To
Obi-Wan it was expedience.  To Qui-Gon it was hell.  Had always been so,
even before his heart had become so inexorably entangled with the man he
had just abused.

*It IS abuse, Koatel, I don't care what they taught you in Training.  This
isn't just a physical exercise for me.  This shouldn't HAPPEN to wonderful
beings like you.  I shouldn't be expected to do it.*

There was some sincerely outdated traditions in the Jedi Order, not the
least of which was the idea that a student might have a hand in choosing
their own punishments.  The *idea* was that a Padawan would learn a lesson
better if they took part in devising it.  Usually an infraction like the
one Obi-Wan had committed would have lead to a long, boring essay with lots
of footnotes, or hours clipping a lawn with a pair of scissors, something
like that.  Something boring and monotonous, a task over which he could
consider his actions and his many alternatives to those actions.  That
wasn't the outdated part.

The outdated part was that if his Padawan so chose, he could forgo all
those options and choose to simply have the crap beaten out of himself.  A
Master was expected to be able to carry out such a punishment with the same
precision and care that they taught protocol, combat, anything else in a
Jedi's training.

*Barbaric.  Purely barbaric.  There is no other word for it.*

Qui-Gon had finished washing the cuts he had put down, then began the long
process of healing them closed.  This was one thing he would not do, leave
wounds unhealed.  'Conventional Wisdom' said the wounds of punishment
should be left to heal naturally, so as to drive the point home.  Obi-Wan
and he had engaged in a blazing row over protocol the first time Qui-Gon
had instead healed the wounds while Obi-Wan slept.  The second time,
Qui-Gon had left a single cut unhealed.  That had shut Obi-Wan up from
there on out.  The number of times Qui-Gon had been put into this position
were thankfully few, but he numbered them amongst the greatest sins he had
ever committed.

*Why?  Why did you make me do this?  Are you testing me, Obi-Wan?  Do you
need to know that I am still your Master, though I love you with all my
heart?  I am.  I would never betray that trust.  I would never betray YOU.*

And Qui-Gon did feel betrayed.  Betrayed by the traditions of the Jedi, the
Order that was his life.  Betrayed by his own sense of duty that insisted
he uphold those traditions.  Betrayed by the fact that his Padawan, this
most precious of persons, believed these things to be normal and
acceptable.  Most of all, he felt betrayed by his own apparent inability to
teach Obi-Wan otherwise.

He had known the possibility of this happening,  known there were many
things between a Padawan and a Master that he found distasteful to say the
least.  The utter control a Master had over a Padawan's life, thoughts,
existence, were among them.  He had known he might again be called upon to
hurt, sincerely injure Obi-Wan, despite what his heart told him to do.  He
had sworn to himself that he would not falter in his duty, would not let
Obi-Wan's training alter one whit because of his own feelings for his
student.

He settled in beside the bed, letting his breathing fall into the rhythm of
meditation.  He must be calm, must not let Obi-Wan see the inner conflict
he suffered.  If he wavered or weakened, that would only damage the trust
they had between them.  Obi-Wan must have a strong Master to respect, even
if that strength was not all it might seem to be.

**************

Obi-Wan  woke in his room.  He was lying face down on the pillow, but the
pain in his back had receded.  

"How do you feel?"  Qui-Gon asked from kneeling on the floor beside the
bed.

"I'm fine, Master."

"Good.  I've had a message from Coruscant.  They're still tracing the
information we received, so they want us to hold on Sejon until we hear
something more concrete.  Re'Nath Nurian has sent word that we should be
welcome and the people have accepted on a condition."  Qui-Gon rose from
his knees and ran a hand down Obi-Wan's ribcage.  "Are you sure you feel
quite well?"

"Yes, Master."

"They are very excited to hear you are coming.  They want you to take the
Semsha Rites.  I have no idea what that will entail.  I don't want you to
do anything that might endanger this mission."  Qui-Gon rubbed his eyes.

"We could ask Jenka Nes'Nurian.  She told me she had taken them.  I
gathered this had something to do with her age."  Obi-Wan turned over onto
his back.  It felt like he had a sunburn, but nothing worse.

"We shall speak to her of it, then.  I do not like this necessity, but the
Council has approved that you take part in the Rites as long as they do not
conflict with your training.  Come now, get dressed and meet me in the
galley."  Qui-Gon stepped towards the door.  "You do understand what
happened last night, don't you, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan smiled.  "Yes, Master.  You are teaching me the fine art of
choosing my battles again.  And you are teaching me to have confidence in
my own decisions."

Qui-Gon smiled back at him.  "There may be hope for you yet, young man."

Obi-Wan entered the galley some minutes later.  Jenka was already there,
still dressed in Obi-Wan's clothes.  She had chosen a crimson and silver
costume from his packs.  Although the clothes were at least three sizes too
big, she managed to carry herself with grace.

"Good morning, Padawan Kenobi," she greeted.

"Good morning, Jenka Nes'Nurian.  How do you feel today?" he returned.

"Free.  Master Jinn said you had some questions about the Rites of
Passage?"

"We both do, yes," Obi-Wan said, heading for the caterer.  "Do you have a
preference for breakfast?"

"Only to share it with you both," she helped him set the table for Qui-Gon
and themselves.  "You serve your master well, Obi-Wan.  I sense no anger or
resentment in you."

"Oh, he let me off easy."

"I heard it all the way down here.  You call that getting off light?" 
Jenka sounded incredulous.

"Well, he put me out and healed me as soon as it was over."

"Ah!  I see!  Yes, you did get off easy, then.  If I had done something
like that to Murana Nurian, I think she'd have had me running laps around
the camp for the rest of the night."

"By rights, I should have been doing the Shadow Blade form until the middle
of next week," Obi-Wan grinned and they both laughed.

"Nice to see you both in such fine spirits, " Qui-Gon greeted.

"Thank you, Master Jinn," Jenka turned to face the Jedi, hands resting palm
down on her thighs, head bowed.

"Good morning, Master," Obi-Wan pulled Qui-Gon's chair out for him and
stepped back to let him sit.  He had no illusions about his status just
now.  Forgiven he may be, but he was also still on thin ice.

They settled down to the meal, both apprentices eating quietly, waiting
Qui-Gon's will.  Obi-Wan was impressed with Jenka's composure and the
respect she gave his master.  He resolved to give that same type of respect
to the Nurians, now that he had some idea as to their relative status. 
Finally, Qui-Gon said "Jenka Nes'Nurian, I was wondering if you could tell
me something about the Rites of Passage your people use."

Jenka put her chopsticks down and swallowed carefully before answering. 
"There are many levels to the rites.  Did you have any one level in mind,
Master Jinn?"

"No,  just a sort of general overview."

"Yes, Master Jinn.  Well, the first rite is the Name Rite.  It is given to
every child on the fifth day after its birth.  We name the child and read
the Web of Family to it, so that all may know its place in the community. 
Then at age five, or thereabouts, the child is given the Knowledge Rite. 
At that point they have the honor of beginning their education.  From there
it branches out, depending on what the child is raised to be, or is chosen
for."  Her eyes darted back and forth between the two Jedi, and Qui-Gon
smiled encouragingly.  "Since I was offered training as a Nurian, I was
given the Koh Rite about two years after that.  Then when I was eleven,
Murana Nurian took the Learning Rite with me.  I served with her for a year
before she took me as her student.  I had just passed my thirteenth summer
when I took the Nes'Nurian Rite.  As a Nes'Nurian, I am only allowed one
other rite until I complete my training.  That is the Semsha Rite, the Rite
of Accountability.  When my training is done, I will have the Nurian Rite
and then be considered for any others I might try to attempt."

"And what do these rites entail?" Qui-Gon pressed.

"Some are tests of knowledge, some are tests of physical ability, some are
ritual lessons.  Actually, the Nes'Nurian Rite is considered to be ongoing
during all training.  The Semsha is part of the Nes'Nurian for us.  But
everyone takes the Semsha when they are able.  That is the time when one is
made accountable for their personal decisions."  Jenka blushed, which had a
peculiar effect under the blue fur.

"Is it something to do with adulthood?"  Obi-Wan guessed.

"Well, in a manner of speaking.  It's different for me.  If I wanted to, I
could make all my personal decisions on my own, ignoring the council of
Murana Nurian.  I would never do that.  It would be both foolish and
dangerous for us both.  I don't think they let Nes'Nurians take the Semsha
until they are sure we understand that," she smiled.

"But you are considered an adult, able to choose?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Yes, Master.  One is considered old enough to go into battle, to provide
for themselves and their family, to take a partner.  Not passed enough yet
to marry, but enough to consider the possibilities.  We are also given
responsibilities with teaching the younger ones, looking after the ill or
incapable, assigned duty on the hunt, on waterbearing, on guard duty, a
place amongst the trainers, on and on.  It is a time of taking
responsibility for one's family and tribe."  Jenka Nes'Nurian had taken on
a teaching tone, as if she were instructing a roomful of littles.  Obi-Wan
was reminded of his own time in the Temple library when the kiddies were
swarming around him chirping 'why? why? why?'  "Beyond the Semsha, the only
rites available are those it takes years of training to prepare for.  Oh,
and Marriage."

"I see.  I think, perhaps, our fears were unwarranted, Obi-Wan.  I believe
I can trust you to hold to my council and your place with me and within the
Order of the Jedi, even if you take this rite.  I will not allow you to
take anything beyond the Semsha, you understand.  I will not have you
binding yourself to this culture in an office you can not fulfill.  Your
first duty is now and shall always be to the Jedi." Qui-Gon looked stern
and serious.

"Yes, Master.  I would never jeopardize my place as your Padawan.  Instruct
me in how I should go and I will obey." Obi-Wan kept his eyes downcast.

"Then clean up in here and begin your morning meditations.  We will be on
Renal Sejon in time for exercises."

"Yes, Master.  Thank you, Master."  Both Jenka and Obi-Wan replied.

Qui-Gon harrumphed and went from the room.  Obi-Wan grinned at Jenka. 
"You're very good at that," he said.

"I'd be damned stupid to come home in the care of an angry Jedi Master.  It
would not speak well of my training.  Murana would peel me slowly with a
round stone."  Jenka laughed a little.

"Is your training so important to you, then?  You've been away from your
people for over a month."

"Well, Padawan Kenobi.  If you were imprisoned for a month on some lousy
little planet, what would you be doing on your way back to your Temple?" 
She asked, deadly serious.

"Bowing to every Master I could find out of sheer gratitude," he replied
honestly.  He could clearly recall the last time that had happened.

"Well then, you understand my position.  I'd like a good report when I get
home." 

They passed the rest of the morning talking, training and meditating,
sometimes at the same time.  Obi-Wan found her mind ridiculously simple to
open up to.  She taught him a few of her people's meditations and he
managed to dig up a couple of exercises not directly related to sensing and
using the Force.  She was quite impressed with his Pearl Drop meditation,
which he allowed her to ride along on.  Her presence in his mind was not
the distraction he would have thought it would be.  She was silent and
attentive, observing passively without stray thoughts or interruptions to
stir his mind.  When they were done, he spoke to her about this.  "How is
it that we are joined, but I am not disturbed?"

"I take no more than given and you return the favor, of course."  She spoke
as if surprised.

"I'm sorry.  I suppose I should begin by saying I came into my telepathy a
little late," he grinned.  "I think my Master almost despaired of ever
coaxing it to the surface where it could be of use to me.  Then one day I
was in the shower after spending a long day practicing with the healers
and, well, poof," he shrugged his shoulders.  "I'm still trying to get a
handle on it."

"You should ask your master to work with you more extensively," she
suggested.

"Yes, perhaps I should.  There are things about me that I don't yet want
him to know, though," Obi-Wan admitted.

"If your training is anything like mine, he will be very careful to teach
you how to keep those things secret.  For us, it is a very important part
of the discipline.  Showing what you wish to be seen without giving up what
should remain unspoken."  They rose and stretched their limbs.

"I see.  I shall definitely speak to him of this."

***************

They went back to Obi-Wan's rooms after a visit to the freshers to get
clean clothes.  Jenka selected again from his Faydrus wardrobe and
retreated to the sitting room as Obi-Wan dressed in his field uniform. 
"Its not that I find your form unpleasant," she explained.  "It's just that
you're ... bald."

Obi-Wan laughed as he joined her.  "Trust me, no offense is taken."

She was strangely silent when he turned around.  He realized she was
staring at the Kho'la'bo.  "It belonged to La'Karata Nurian," he
explained.  "She ... I'm sorry, Jenka Nes'Nurian.  She died a few days
ago.  It was sent to me because of a premonition she had just before her
death."

She nodded but said nothing.

"We'll be landing soon.  Are you excited?"  He asked, changing the subject.

"Oh yes! I can't wait to see my people again.  I ... I don't know who will
be left of my family, but I know I have a home to return to.  It is
enough."