.                      Bonds of Choice #3
                  Star Wars: TPM FanFic Series
                         by HiperBunny
                        (message 1 of 2)
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The infirmary was a cool cocoon of silence.  Obi-Wan embraced that silence
during the long process of having his chest and ribs wrapped.  Corubia was
careful, but made sure the bandages were tight enough to do some good.  She
stepped back to admire her handiwork before spraying the whole thing with
plaswebbing.  The web was warm and soothing to the abused flesh beneath.

Qui-Gon fussed over Anikin for a few minutes before coming to check on
Obi-Wan.  "Do you understand what happened in there?"

"No, Master."

"I had to let go of the emotion.  I had to separate us, so that we would
not be destroyed.  It was the only way to bring us back."

"You forgot to bring me back, you know."  Obi-Wan hid behind a quirk of a
smile.

"It has been so long ... it was a reflex for me, Padawan.  You must
understand, I did not intentionally leave you behind."  Qui-Gon looked into
Obi-Wan's eyes, searching for understanding.

"Yes, Master."

"You did very well.  Exactly as if you had been trained for it, in fact. 
You were in a situation that should not have been and brought yourself out
in one piece.  This is an extraordinary accomplishment.  You were more than
equal to the danger you found yourself in."  Qui-Gon's voice was soft,
slow, as if he were weighing each word.

"I will try to be more careful next time."  Obi-Wan felt certain that he
could handle the situation much better, now that he'd tried it once.

"What you did, Padawan, was very well planned and executed.  You have
learned your lessons well."  Qui-Gon said these words with all the
conviction he could muster.  He held Obi-Wan's gaze, a shadow of dark
emotion in his eyes.

Obi-Wan glanced at J'kata for confirmation that he had carried out the
operation according to plan.  A nod from the green-striped medic let him
believe the words he was hearing.  "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon's voice took on a sharp edge.  "You do believe me, don't you?"

"Yes, Master."  That question certainly caught Obi-Wan by surprise.

****************

The walk back to Obi-Wan's quarters was long and painful.  Every step,
every breath reminded Obi-Wan that he had not done as well as everyone was
trying to convince him he had.  If everything had gone well, no one would
have gotten hurt.  He wasn't upset that he had been hurt, as much as he
knew that it was just luck that he had only hurt himself.  Any more
careless and it would be Qui-Gon shuffling along like this.  The thought of
Qui-Gon being injured by his negligence sent a shiver down Obi-Wan's
spine.  Corubia insisted on helping him.  Obi-Wan would have preferred to
struggle on his own.  Anything would have been better than Qui-Gon's dark
gaze.

They settled Obi-Wan onto his bed and Corubia lost no time in escaping the
tension between Master and Padawan.  Qui-Gon looked the room over. 
Everything was neatly in place, but somehow Obi-Wan wished he'd had time to
clean things up a bit.  Qui-Gon rarely came to his quarters and he was
ashamed that he didn't have a better space to show him.

"Did you want something?"  Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan tried to think of anything.  No, he wasn't hungry, although lunch
time was long past.  What could his master be expecting from him?  He heard
himself saying "Yes, Master.  As soon as I've healed I'd like to begin
working on the R'Antha.  If it pleases you, Master."

Qui-Gon was clearly surprised.  Obi-Wan was fairly surprised himself.

"Well, of course.  As soon as you feel well enough.  May I ask why you wish
to learn it?"  Qui-Gon's voice was even, calm.

"No knowledge is useless unless you do not possess it."  That was a fact
Qui-Gon had spent a great deal of time teaching his Padawan.  The morning's
activities had brought the point home.

Qui-Gon smiled at that.  "As soon as you're healed up, then.  Get some
rest.  It's the best thing for you right now."

"Yes, Master."

****************

Qui-Gon was trimming his beard when the first tendrils of warning came to
him.  He dropped his scissors and took a defensive posture before he even
registered it consciously.  A moment passed, then echoes of pain hit him in
the abdomen, like coals inside his belly.  //Obi-Wan!//

**Master!**

And the call cut off.  In that same instant the pain ceased.  Qui-Gon was
on his feet and out the door, yanking his robe on over his pajamas.  He
ran, barefoot, hair loose, beard unevenly trimmed down several flights of
stairs, into the north wing, to the miserable little room Obi-Wan called
home.  Even in his best days, he couldn't have covered the complex in less
than ten minutes.  At this stage, it felt as though took considerably
longer.  He thumbed the lock on the door and stopped cold as it slid back.

Obi-Wan was as still as a statue, fists gripping the sheets, mouth a thin,
hard line of pain.  His eyes were shut tight, but he might as well have
been writhing and howling his pain.  The shields he had erected around his
mind stood not chance one against his master at this point.  Then a long
jag of wet coughs racked his body.

//Obi-Wan, what's wrong?//

**I'm sorry, Master.  Oh, skies above, I'm sorry.  It hurts so bad, please
make it stop!**  Obi-Wan turned towards his master and coughed a mouthful
of blood on the floor.

//Shh, shh.  Just hang on.//  Qui-Gon scooped the boy up in his arms and
was out the door, headed back to the infirmary.  *Why didn't I make him
stay there in the first place?*  Qui-Gon mentally berated himself as he
pounded back down the hallway.

**Master?  What's happening?**

Qui-Gon made sure none of his anxiety leaked through the connection with
his Padawan.  //I'm taking you to the medics.//

**Oh.**

This seemed to alarm Obi-Wan for some reason, but he did not question his
master's decision.  He remained silent, retreating from the pain of being
carried, jostled, hauled down stairs and through corridors.

//Red sky at night.//

**What?**

//You know what.  You need to stay with me, Obi-Wan.  I don't know what's
happening to you and I don't want you to lose consciousness.  Red sky at
night.//

**Sailor's delight.**

//Red sky in the morning.//

**Sailor take warning.**

For the long, long minutes it took to get Obi-Wan to the infirmary, they
traded their code phrases back and forth.  Obi-Wan did not stop coughing. 
Qui-Gon had fallen into their rhythm, letting the impromptu litany hold
Obi-Wan's attention.  To himself he wondered if it was too late to take up
prayer as it settled on his consciousness that the right side of his tunic
was covered in Obi-Wan's blood.

Qui-Gon knew he was very lucky, as Masters went.  Obi-Wan was rarely ill,
not prone to accidents, was usually in the best of health.  He also had a
very high pain threshold and an amazing amount of discipline when it came
to simply ignoring pain.  Qui-Gon wondered how long his Padawan had lain
there in that little bed, feeling the agony build to the point that he
could no longer stand against it.  How much pain had he been in when
Qui-Gon left him there alone?

The infirmary doors slid open, and J'kata was standing there waiting. 
"First door on your left," came the curt order.

Qui-Gon obeyed, laying his precious cargo on the bed.  "How did you know?"

"Master Jinn, it is a difficult thing for you to carry a bleeding Padawan
through the halls of the Temple without someone taking notice, even at this
hour.  We got a call on the comm link that you were on your way.  Now,
please, let me do my work."  J'kata pushed Qui-Gon aside.

"What can I do to help?"

"Talk to him, keep him focused while we find out what the hell happened."

//Obi-Wan, what happened?  Is it like before, when you fell from the
Spire?//

"No, Master.  It hurts in my chest and shoulders."  Obi-Wan started
coughing again.  **I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean to disturb you.  I tried to
keep quiet, to hold on.  That damn bond!**

//Obi-Wan!//

**I mean it!  If it wasn't for this damn bond, you wouldn't have to be here
right now!**

Qui-Gon resisted the urge to slap some sense into his apprentice.  //It is
my duty to take care of you, Obi-Wan.  What's more, I would much rather be
here than lose you for want of a little care.  Why didn't you call me?//

Obi-Wan just turned his face away.  The healers had cut the wrapping away
and were going over his body quite carefully.  Someone stuck a painkiller
patch behind Obi-Wan's ear.  After a moment, the strain of agony faded.

"Internal bleeding.  Lots of it.  It's already in his lungs.  We're gonna
have to chest tube him."  J'kata sounded normal, orderly, prepared. 
"Qui-Gon, this is going to get ugly pretty fast.  You might want to step
outside."

"What's going on?  What are you going to do to him?"

"He's bleeding internally, too much and too fast.  It's in his lungs and
he's drowning in it.  We have to drain it off now.  Is that line of whole
blood in?"  Someone confirmed that it was.  "To put it bluntly, we're gonna
stick tubes in there to drain the blood.  This is not an elegant procedure,
so if you don't want to see it, get out now.  Gloves!"

Qui-Gon glanced over at a tray where two thick, pointed tubes lay ready to
be used.  His gorge rose and he fought a brief battle to keep his dinner
down.  Once his insides settled, he turned back to Obi-Wan.  His Padawan's
face was streaked with blood, but he remained focused.  "Look at me.  Just
watch my eyes and don't look at anything else."  Qui-Gon put every bit of
his skill with the Force behind the words.  "J'kata, should I put him to
sleep?"

"Hell no!  Ready?"  The team of healers and medical techs called ready.

Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan on the cheek and took his hands.  "Just stay here. 
Nothing but me, okay?  I'm sorry I didn't think to bring Dauhge."

"Remember next time, okay?"  Obi-Wan tried to smile, to soothe the dark
look from his master's eyes.  His mouth was a vivid scarlet, his teeth were
pink.

Qui-Gon felt the tears start the second Obi-Wan's eyes rolled back into his
head.  Something warm hit his arm, but he didn't dare turn to look.  His
heart tore as he forced Obi-Wan back to consciousness.  "Stay with me,
Padawan.  Come on, look at me."  He held Obi-Wan's arms down to keep him
from trying to defend himself.

"Fuck, that hurts way too much," Obi-Wan sounded weary.  Qui-Gon held him
tight.

"One more, Koateleu.  Just one more.  I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan."

"I'm okay, Master." 

Qui-Gon thought his heart would break.  Obi-Wan was so brave, trying so
hard to keep the shields up around his end of the link to protect Qui-Gon
from the pain.  "Just let it go.  Let me help you, please."

"I'm fine, I swear, I'm just fine."

Qui-Gon was very slightly alarmed at how well his Padawan lied.

"Okay, one more!"

Obi-Wan gripped Qui-Gon's forearms, tried to relax his body to take the
pain.  It was futile.  The push wasn't so bad, but the tube bumped up
against his lung before it found the proper path into his body.  A hissing
scream escaped him, but he kept his eyes on Qui-Gon as he'd been ordered
to.  Surely there was a reason, surely pain like this couldn't be totally
meaningless.

"Okay, they're done.  It's okay, now.  Tell me what you want."

"Benburi."

"What?"  Qui-Gon couldn't believe it.

**I know you can't make it stop hurting, but this morning I promised myself
a big bowl of benburi if I got myself back alive.  I want it.**  Obi-Wan
was perfectly serious.  Through the haze of pain he had focused on this one
thing.

Qui-Gon smiled, "As soon as J'kata says it's okay.  I swear.  I'll feed it
to you myself.  Just hang on, Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon held his Padawan's attention while the healers did arcane and
despicable things to his young body.  After a time, when they had a handle
on what was happening, he was able to lend some assistance to them. 
Obi-Wan was bleeding from his liver, which had been punctured by a rib. 
Once the cause was discovered, the healers went to the root of the
problem.  When they were sure the danger was passed, they gave Qui-Gon
leave to send Obi-Wan to sleep.  He did so, feeling that all his years of
training and hard work were worth it, to be able to send his Padawan safely
away from the pain.

Once Obi-Wan was asleep, Qui-Gon took a long moment to wash the blood off
his pale face.  With no small amount of wonder, he realized there were no
tears there except his own.

J'kata tugged Qui-Gon away from the bed.  "He'll be asleep for a little
while, right?"

Qui-Gon nodded dumbly.

"Good.  Go get a bath, get dressed.  We're going to move him out of here so
he doesn't see all this when he wakes up.  He'll like the look of you
better if you don't have his blood all over you."

Qui-Gon looked around the small room.  Red was everywhere, the walls, the
floor, soaking the sheets of the bed, on every healer.  Obi-Wan probably
had more blood on him than in him at this point, although the medics were
replacing it as swiftly as they could.

Qui-Gon looked down at himself.  He'd been in the direct line of fire, as
it were, and he did indeed have a large amount of blood on him.  Especially
his bare feet.  He struggled to get himself together, centered, calm,
serene.  He needed a shower, and a huge bowl of benburi.  He needed to
change clothes.  There was no reason to be so frightened, so he just let it
all go.  "He'll be all right, won't he?"

"Do what you need to.  He'll be fine.  You need to get some rest, too."
J'kata turned away from Qui-Gon, going back to tending Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon left the infirmary in a state of numbness.

*Clothes.  Shower.  Benburi.  Don't forget that last one.*

Upon entering his chambers, Qui-Gon suddenly realized how tired he was. 
The crono told him the hour and it was an unspeakable one.  Obi-Wan would
be asleep for long hours yet while the healing process took over his
available resources.  Showered and in clean pajamas, Qui-Gon lay himself
down for a couple hours of much needed rest.

************

He awoke, much rested but not refreshed.  There were things to do.  He
decided Obi-Wan might find it amusing if he showed up with Dauhge, so he
went to Obi-Wan's room to fetch the turtle.  He had transferred the pet to
his smaller bowl when he noticed the state of Obi-Wan's bed.  The pillow
and sheets were smeared with blood and there was a small puddle of it on
the floor.  *Oh skies above.*

It only took a few moments to strip the bed and put down new linen. 
Qui-Gon discovered that Obi-Wan owned only two sets of sheets.  Qui-Gon
looked around the miserable little room, thinking for the thousandth time
that he should do something about Obi-Wan's living conditions.  He pushed
the thought to the back of his mind, collected Dauhge and locked the door
behind him.

One pit stop at a public catering unit later and he was ready to see
Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was awake, if groggy, when Qui-Gon entered his room.  He smiled
when Qui-Gon sat Dauhge down on his bedside table.  "You remembered."

Qui-Gon belatedly remembered his promise from the night before and smiled
sadly that his Padawan should remember his experience so clearly.  "I
remembered this, too," he said, gesturing with the bowl of benburi. 
"J'kata said it was okay to try to eat something."

Obi-Wan reached for the treat, frowning when Qui-Gon held it out of his
reach.  "As you may recall, I made a promise about this, too."

"Oh, come on, Master.  You can't be serious."

But Qui-Gon was.  He settled in, feeding his exasperated Padawan.  After a
few spoonfuls, Obi-Wan was too overcome by benburi bliss to protest too
much.  For Qui-Gon's part, he was just glad to have a Padawan to pamper. 
The tubes had been removed and J'kata said Obi-Wan would be allowed to
leave.  Recovery included bed rest and Qui-Gon intended to bring Obi-Wan
back to his more comfortable quarters where he could take care of the
injured young man.

They talked of this and that, but Obi-Wan soon drifted off.  Once he was
deeply sleeping, Qui-Gon re-enforced the state and called J'kata.  The
healer came in carrying a lightslate.  "There's something I want to show
you."  He was looking at Obi-Wan's medical records.

"Did you find out what happened?"

"Absolutely.  The exact same thing that happened the first time he took
that fall.  Look, when he came in we treated him for a broken rib and a
punctured liver.  That time we got it taken care of fast enough to keep the
complications of internal bleeding from doing much damage.  So, yes, the
only thing he healed on his own was a few bruises.  This time, though ..." 
J'kata gestured towards the sleeping Padawan.

He didn't have to explain.  No one had checked Obi-Wan for internal
injuries yesterday, so things had gotten bad rather quickly.  "How long
before he's in the clear?"  Qui-Gon asked.

"Oh, he'll be fine now.  Everything's under control and I trust you aren't
going to let him out of your sight for some time now.  You know how to get
him back up to speed."

Qui-Gon nodded.  He planned to spend the next couple of days doing just
that.  One last check and the Padawan was released to his master's care. 
Qui-Gon chose to carry him back, not wanting to be further from Obi-Wan
than necessary.