.                      Bonds of Choice #2
                  Star Wars: TPM FanFic Series
                         by HiperBunny
                        (message 3 of 3)
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The next morning brought Obi-Wan back to the infirmary, this time to help
his master in a rather odd quest.  *If I were the mind of a small boy,
where would I go?*  He quirked his mouth at the thought.  Sometimes Obi-Wan
caught himself thinking of the strangest things, subjects he was certain he
would never have become involved with in any other calling.

Qui-Gon was already there, as was Cord Random.  The healer that joined them
was of a species that Obi-Wan couldn't name right off hand.  Ordalti? 
Rodlyc?  A pale pink person, with long, thin ears and green stripes, in any
event.  "Obi-Wan, this is J'kata.  He will be helping us with the
procedure."

"Helping, ha!  I'll be putting the three of you back together, if you
aren't careful."  J'kata's words were sour, but the tone was a friendly
one.  "How do you want to do this?"

"I will take the lead.  I know the boy best, spent some time working with
him on Tatooine and Naboo.  Qui-Gon will assist me, and his Padawan will
anchor him."  Cord was relaxed, seated in a comfortable chair by the bed. 
Obi-Wan kept his eyes on Cord for as long as he could, trying to avoid
looking at the still form beneath the sheets.

Qui-Gon sank to the floor, crossing his legs and relaxing into the pose. 
Obi-Wan followed his lead, seating himself similarly, facing his master. 
Qui-Gon reached out, resting his hands lightly on Obi-Wan's wrists,
pressing his fingers in to feel the pulse there.

"Have you your anchor?"  J'kata asked.

"It is the pulse of my Padawan," Qui-Gon replied.

"Have you your target?"  J'kata asked Cord.

"It is the breath of my Guide," Cord replied.

"Begin."

Obi-Wan felt a thin tendril of connection from his master, and reached out
with his own thoughts to complete the circuit.  Cord was a thin
thought-shadow on the other side of his master's awareness.  J'kata had
come to stand behind Obi-Wan, resting his hands on the younger man's
shoulders.  "You must tell me what happens, young one.  The others will be
too deeply in their trance to speak."

Obi-Wan nodded.  "I can just barely sense Cord.  He seems to be chasing
something.  It's thin, elusive, like a breeze.  No, it's more like a ghost
or a spirit.  I guess that would be Anikin.  Qui-Gon is saying something to
him.  I can't quite make it out." 

"That's all right, just give me your impressions."

For the better part of an hour, Obi-Wan struggled, putting words to a labor
that almost defied description.  It seemed to him that Cord fought demons,
solved mazes, ran races, trying to reach Anikin's consciousness.  All the
while, Qui-Gon advised him.  The nonsensically of it reminded Obi-Wan of
the stories he used to hear as a child.  It then occurred to him what they
were seeing.  He glanced over the edge of the bed, looking at the still
face of Anikin Skywalker.  The breathing was regular, deep, and slow.  He
didn't toss or turn; there was nothing to indicate that the boy was
anything more than comatose.

Flicker.

There.  Swift, almost imperceptible, Obi-Wan saw a flick of motion behind
the boy's eyelids.  He watched intently for another long minute. 
Flickflickflick. 

"He's dreaming.  Cord's caught up in the boy's dreams."  He said this out
loud, before he had a chance to edit the thought.

"That can be very dangerous.  Perhaps you should tell Master Qui-Gon, so he
can warn Cord."  The tone was calm and even but from the emotion-spike that
accompanied them, the healer was doing well not to sound deeply worried.

Obi-Wan nodded, then closed his eyes.  **Master?**

//Yes, Padawan?//

**Anikin is dreaming.  We can see the eye movements.  I think Cord is
caught in the dreams, trying to reach the boy that way.**

//Hmm.  That would explain some of the questions he's been asking.  What do
you see?//

**You can't see him?**

//Not the way you are.  I'm ... too involved.  What is he doing?//

**Flying some sort of skimmer, I think.  He's going very fast, seems to be
in a race of some sort.**

//I'm going to try to pull him out.  He could get trapped in there for much
longer than is healthy.  I shall try to be very careful, but if I fall out
of contact, you may have to help me back.  Do you think you can talk to me,
bring me back to this place if I need you to?//

**Yes, Master.**

Obi-Wan watched anxiously, but kept himself firmly in the physical world. 
Qui-Gon seemed to retreat to a distance, then came back more firmly.

//Still there?//

**Yes, Master.**

Again, the sense of fading, this time it seemed he went further away.

**Master?**

//Still here.  I'm going to have to try something ... unorthodox.  Please
have J'kata monitor us more closely.//  Then that fading again.

"Master Qui-Gon wants you to monitor them more closely.  He says he wants
to try something unorthodox."  Obi-Wan relayed.

"Open yourself to me," J'kata instructed in a resigned tone.

When the contact was made, Obi-Wan gained a new appreciation for the
Master-Padawan bond.  Even as stressed and stretched as the link to Qui-Gon
was, it was still infinitely stronger than the weak tendril that came from
J'kata.  He felt the healer follow that line, trying to make contact. 
Obi-Wan held himself open, allowing his mind to be a conduit for the work
that must be done.  The moment stretched painfully and he began to feel the
strain, as when he held himself perfectly still, in balance, every muscle
straining to accomplish total nothingness.

"Close yourself.  I cannot reach him."

Obi-Wan looked back at J'kata, confused.  "What?  Can't reach him?  He's
right there!  You just need to ..." Obi-Wan stopped.  "You have no bond to
him."

"Correct, Obi-Wan.  He is too far gone into that place.  I can not go to
him."

*I can.*  Obi-Wan knew he could.  It would be easy, simple to just reach
out.  **Master?**

//Yes?//

**J'kata can't reach you.  Can you come back to me?**

//Cord and Anikin are in terrible danger.  I can not come to you.  I need
your help, Padawan.//

That was plenty for Obi-Wan.  His master needed help; so help he would
get.  "I'm going to him," he told J'kata.

The healer blew out a sigh of relief.  "I can not tell you to do this
thing.  I can not advise you to do this thing.  But I can help you to do
this thing.  You are not fully trained for this.  The danger is great.  You
must remember that the place you go to is not real.  It is only memory and
imagination in its place of greatest strength.  You will need something to
focus you on this world, something you can bring yourself back to.  You
MUST bring yourself back and bring the others with you."

Focus.  Focus.  Oh, no.  Obi-Wan tried to stifle the giggles.  "Can you
contact Padawan Corubia Nall?  Ask her to bring Dauhge here."

It would seem, from the swift response, that J'kata had managed to impress
Corubia with the gravity of the situation without alarming her.  She
arrived behind her Master, Torlamin, carrying a round glass bowl.  Dauhge
paddled serenely, unaffected by his new container.  Master Torlamin spoke. 
"What has happened here?"

"Cord got himself caught in this boy's dreamstate while trying to bring him
back to consciousness.  Qui-Gon is hanging on to them, but can't bring them
back.  He has ordered Obi-Wan to come and help him.  I would not allow the
boy to make the attempt without a strong focal point."

"And he wanted his turtle?"  Torlamin failed to hide her smile.

"Don't knock it, Master.  I've seen him do some really amazing things with
this focal point.  Where do you want Dauhge?"

Obi-Wan looked around, dismayed.  He was sitting on the floor in front of
his master.  Qui-Gon still held his wrists.  The bed was too far to the
side and too high.  "Um, I usually just sit low enough to look in his
tank.  I hadn't thought about this.  Um ..."

"Leave it to me," Corubia smiled.  She let go of the bowl, supporting it
with the Force.  It drifted closer to Obi-Wan until it hung before his
eyes.  "Good?"

"Back a bit.  You're making me cross-eyed.  Good.  Perfect.  J'kata, what
do I need to do?"

"Go to your master.  Remember that what you see isn't real.  Remember that
you must bring them back to the place you began, where you are strongest in
the physical world."  J'kata looked apologetic that this was all the help
he could offer.  "I'm sorry.  Training you properly to do this would take
much more time than we have."

"Like a couple of years too long," Torlamin noted.

Obi-Wan felt faint for a moment.  It took years to learn how to do this? 
He centered himself.  They didn't have years, or training.  They just had
him.  It would have to do.  He focused on Dauhge, his green shell, the
pattern of his swimming.  Focus.  Feel- don't think.  **Master, I'm
coming.**


One moment he was sitting in the infirmary, the next he stood before
Qui-Gon.  "There they are," his master said, pointing.  Obi-Wan looked, saw
Cord and Anikin struggling in a black pool.  They were bogged in some sort
of black, tarry substance.  Anikin clung to Cord, who was up to his
shoulders and beginning to sink lower under the weight.  "I can't reach
them, can't pull them free ..." Qui-Gon said.  "It's too strong."

Obi-Wan turned his focus on the pool.  "It's not real.  It's just an
image.  Don't believe in it, it's not real," he murmured.  With all that he
had, he denied the existence of the morass.  **Go away. This is dry land.**

Qui-Gon smile.  "It's not that simple, Padawan."

"I think it is, Master.  We just have to make it that simple," Obi-Wan was
certain of this.  Certain.  He reached out to Qui-Gon, made their
connection stronger.  Certain.

**//Dry land.  Nothing to struggle against.//**

And it was so.  Their combined belief, sure and calm, battered at the
panicked fear-image that Anikin had dreamed into being.   The pool simply
was no more.  Cord looked at them with gratitude.  "Take him back, Cord."

The Knight nodded, looked down at Anikin and smiled.  Reality twisted
around them and they faded from view.

**Let us return,** Obi-Wan said, taking his master's hands in his own. 
**Feel my pulse.  Come with me.**

Qui-Gon looked into Obi-Wan's eyes and sent his love and gratitude along
their mental connection.  It was a strong, overwhelming feeling that rocked
Obi-Wan.  The emotions were too strong, too much, pushing him off his
center.  **No, Master!  Do not thank me.  It is duty, nothing more.**

Qui-Gon looked hurt, felt hurt.  Obi-Wan felt it clearly.  **I'm sorry!**

Unbidden, he thought of all the times he had done just this thing.  Said or
done something in just the worst way possible.  He tried to grab hold of
the flurry, force it under control, but the instant he fought it, leant it
reality, it became real.

Qui-Gon's hands clamped down on Obi-Wan's wrists, bruisingly hard.  They
were buffeted on all sides by the memories, the feelings, the PROOFS that
Obi-Wan recognized, accepted, believed in.  The undeniable and positive
ideas of his worthlessness.  Ideas he had only begun to combat and was not
in any way prepared to defeat.  The link became stronger as the emotion fed
it.

Qui-Gon did the only thing that could break the pattern.  He focused on the
pulse beneath his fingers, centered on the physical and disappeared.

Obi-Wan found himself suddenly quite alone with his demons.

*All right, Kenobi.  You can do this.  Remember that time on Alderass?  Not
a healer in sight and you got him out safe.  Just do as much for yourself
and we'll get you a nice big dish of benburi.*  He held that thought close
to him, the memory of his one true victory.  Qui-Gon had been unconscious
for sixteen hours while Obi-Wan dragged, pushed and pulled them both back
to the safety of their transport.  One broken finger and a badly cut ear
were the worst of it.  It could have gone much worse.  They had both nearly
died. 

It had been the silence that served him then.  No little smiles, no wry
jokes, just the still, ashen face of his Master demanding that something be
done.  And something was done.  Done right and well and to the letter of
protocol all the way down the line.  Good.  Alone was good.

Like a joint popping back into place, Obi-Wan found his center.  The
thumping link to his master thrummed in his mind, like a hammer at the base
of his neck.  *Oh, shut UP!*  He thought, slamming an extra shield over the
weakness in his defenses.  The thumping stopped, and Obi-Wan finally had
the peace he needed to think.  Have to remember.  What was I trying to
remember ... something to do with Corubia ...

Suddenly the empty plane around him disappeared and was replaced by the
Stone Spiral garden.  He was flat on his stomach, gripping both of
Corubia's hands.  She dangled over the side, clinging to him.  "Obi-Wan!  I
can't reach the ledge!  You've got to help me!"

"Use the Force, Cor!  Come on, it's not that far.  Don't look down, keep
your eyes right on me."  Obi-Wan strengthened his hold on her with his
still-fledgling use of the Force.

"Please, I can't!  Do something!" She was near to fear, which was a short
step from panic.  Obi-Wan considered the situation, took a deep breath and
acted.  The twist of the ledge should be just below her.  He silently
prayed that he was strong enough to do what he was about to do, then did it
anyway, regardless.  He swung her weight to the left.  "Come on, kick!  The
ledge is right there.  You just need to reach it!"  Corubia understood and
added her strength to the effort.  Back, she swung, to where the ledge fell
away from her.  To the left again and Obi-Wan slid a few inches with her
weight.

"I almost had it that time!" She cried, swinging again.  This time the
swing to the right dragged Obi-Wan closer to the edge, but gave them more
length to work with.  Back to the left.  Her foot scraped the path, but she
faltered.  In the confusion of the bobble, Obi-Wan slid further forward. 
Right, slip.  Oof, not much left to give here.  His shoulders were
screaming from the stress they were under.  His chest and neck burned
angrily at the abuse.

"Just keep your eyes on me, Cor!  Last time!"  *It had better be, I don't
have much left! *  To the left.  This time she got her feet underneath her,
safe.  She let go of her grip on Obi-Wan's arms and turned, just in time to
see him fall past her.  "KENOBI!"

He stretched into the fall, then tucked into a ball to roll.  Damn, that
hurt!  He tumbled, almost under control until he fetched up against
something tall.  Something in robes.  Double damn.

Qui-Gon reached down to help him up.  "Off to the healers, then," was all
he said, but his eyes held something more, something darker.  Obi-Wan
looked away.  He wasn't hurt.  He'd slowed himself with the Force and let
his physical training do the rest.  As he gained his feet, he reassessed
that.  Not hurt TOO much.  He turned from Qui-Gon to go have his ribs taped
up.  Qui-Gon was already going to see about Corubia.

*Not real!  I already did this!  It's not real!*  Obi-Wan grabbed on to
that thought.  Corubia ... good thing he'd saved her then.  Who else would
look after Dauhge when he was away?

Dauhge!  That was it!  He had to remember to focus!

The reality of the Stone Spire garden fell away, back into the blessed
silence.  He stood alone, ready to do what needed to be done.  He focused
on the reality of his pet, the reality of the REAL and let go of this
quiet, solitary place.  He felt a pang of loss as it faded from his mind.

Opening his eyes, he saw Qui-Gon first.  His master had that dark look in
his eyes, so Obi-Wan turned to Corubia.  "Sorry. I got caught."

"What did you see?"  J'kata asked.

"Oh, I just remembered that time Cor fell off the Spire.  No big deal.  It
took me a minute to remember it wasn't real, though."  He stood up, but his
knees buckled under him.  He wrapped his arms around his ribcage,
protecting them.

"Sometimes, what the mind sees, the body makes real," J'kata explained. 
"One of the drawbacks to mind over matter.  I'll take care of it."

"No, I will, " Qui-Gon said, helping Obi-Wan up.  That dark look was still
there.

"Please, Master.  You must help Cord with Anikin.  You too, J'kata.  I'm
sure I can do for myself."  Obi-Wan limped painfully to the medical
supplies.  "Last time, it was just bruised ribs.  It can't be worse this
time," he joked.

Qui-Gon lost that dark look, and turned to help Skywalker.  Good.  Any
amount of pain was worth suffering, as long as Qui-Gon stopped looking at
him like that.  Obi-Wan pushed it all from his mind as he gathered up the
supplies he needed. 

"C'mon.  You know you can't tape your own ribs, no matter how good you are
with the Force.  Especially not now.  Sit still."  Corubia came up behind
him and claimed his supplies.

"But," he started to protest.

"Shut up, Kenobi.  You just saved three lives.  The least I can do is see
to your wounds."  She helped him get out of his robes.

"I did it to myself, Cor.  I'll take care of it myself." Obi-Wan tried to
push her away.

"Well, as far as that goes, I did this to you then, loosing my balance like
that.  So let me take care of it this time.  Duty to one another and all
that."  Corubia grinned.

Obi-Wan sighed and relented.  When Corubia started quoting tradition, there
was nothing that could dissuade her.  *I COULD do it for myself though.*

That was when he noticed that, for the first time in two days, he was alone
in his own mind.  *Good. It's quiet in here.  Alone in my own head.  Alone
is good.*