.                      Bonds of Choice #11
                  Star Wars: TPM FanFic Series
                         by HiperBunny
                        (message 3 of 3)
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Sunset had well begun by the time Qui-Gon and Kourt stood before the
Council.  *Time flies when you're having fun.*  It was hard to believe that
just three days ago his biggest concern was how to avoid eating Sand Slugs
at the evening meal.  Well, no, not true.  Three days ago he'd been living
in dread that a Sith Lord would cut his Padawan down in battle.  Somehow
that all seemed very far away, now.  Kourt kicked him in the ankle,
bringing his attention back to the matters at hand.

"How feel you, Qui-Gon?" Master Yoda asked.

"Well enough, Master.  My wounds are healing nicely.  I'm sure with a
little more rest, I'll be right as rain," Qui-Gon replied with a bow.

"Hmmm." The green Councilor replied.  "And you, Kourt?  How goes it?"

"Not well, I'm afraid.  We've been working on this non-stop for the past
day and…our efforts have been largely wasted.  The subject, Rue Torlamin,
has not responded well to our attempts to bring her back to a calm center. 
We have achieved periods of clarity, sleep, been able to speak to her on a
few occasions, but have been unable to effect what I might consider to be a
cure.  Masters, we're not even close.  The training bond between herself
and Padawan Nall has been severed for almost two days now.  I'm afraid
something must be done about that, as soon as possible," Kourt put on his
bland expression again.

A round of looks passed through the Council chamber.  They all knew of
Corubia, some had helped to train her in areas where Torlamin had
been…unfit to say the least.  "She must be seen to immediately," Master
Windu announced.

"It must first be proven that Torlamin is not going to be able to resume
her duties," Adi Gallia reminded them all.  "We can't simply act on the
word of your little lapdog all the time, Yoda" here she shot a look at
Master Crowe.

"Correct, you are.  A test, there must be.  Proven, your assertions must
be, Master Crowe," Yoda agreed.

"What would you suggest, Masters?"  Kourt settled his hands deeper into his
sleeves, a sign that he was trying not to yank on his hair.

"Let us decide on that ourselves, Master Crowe.  What have you to add,
Master Jinn?" Master Gallia turned towards him.

"I do not believe we will succeed in bringing Master Torlamin to the Light
once more.  Having some experience on that subject, I ask that we be
granted the powers of the Left Hand in her case," Qui-Gon fought another
frantic skirmish with his stomach as he said the words.

"Do you really think that will be necessary?" Mace asked, concerned.

"I do.  And if it is, we will not want it to be a matter of public record,
will we?" Qui-Gon quirked a smile at them all.

Another round of looks passed through the chamber.

"She has no way to escape the Temple, Qui-Gon.  Why do you ask this of
someone in your power?" Master Bilba wanted to know.

"Because, Master, I do not believe her to be in anyone's power, least of
all her own.  We may have her contained at this particular point in time
and no one the wiser.  But if it became general knowledge…I'm sure you
don't want this to become an Order-wide issue.  You know how ugly those can
get."  Qui-Gon drew himself up even straighter, squaring his shoulders.

"So you want us to give you permission to execute her?  That's your
solution?" Mace was doing his enigmatic bit.

"And I'm asking you to give us that permission with the agreement that no
inquiry will be made as to the circumstances of her death.  Let us handle
this.  You don't want to be involved here," Kourt informed them.

"The life of a Jedi Master into the hands of the shadows, Kourt?  You would
make yourself judge, jury and executioner all at once?" Adi shook her head,
disbelieving.

"Why not?  I've been your executioner for years, I might as well get some
say in who lives and who dies for once," Kourt sniped back.  "Besides, it
wouldn't just be me.  It would be all of us, the group working together."

"Shadow Jedi doing shady work," Adi grumbled.

"It's what we were brought together for and you know it.  You needed a free
hand to do your dirty work and now that free hand is well and truly dirty. 
What's a little more blood between friends?" Qui-Gon shot in her direction.

The Council sat in silence for a long moment, considering his words.  It
was true.  When the idea of a formal study of the Dark Side first arose
amongst the Jedi, a certain type of Jedi was sought out to make that
study.  Not only were the original members the most intelligent, most
quick-witted, most loyal and most cunning of the Order, but they were also
the odd ducks, the shady dealers, the 'unspoken' members who were sent on
less than honorable missions in less than legal circumstances.  As much as
the group had been set up for academic work, it had essentially become a
stable of Operatives who could be trusted to do anything at any time, so
long as they could be convinced it was the most expedient path to Justice. 
Kourt had really begun to change all that when he came to head the group
and yet the fact remained that he was the finest assassin the Order had
ever seen.

The left hand doing what the right hand never really wanted to know about. 
That the tradition regarding execution of a Jedi was called the Ceremony of
the Left Hand was not without its own irony.  Indeed, amongst the
Councilors, members of the Group were often called Shadow Jedi or the Order
of the Left Hand.  Both were fairly accurate, as far as that went.

"This all depends on what is known once the Test is complete.  Should
Torlamin fail the test, we will see to Corubia first.  Should she fail, you
may do with her as you will," Mace finally granted.

Qui-Gon sighed with relief.  

"Now, on the matter of the Sith…" the dark-skinned Master continued.

"I'm sorry, but we've just not had time to work on that problem. 
Groundwork has been laid, but we are far from solid answers.  There have
been more pressing issues," Master Crowe was in full force.

"I see.  Well, I suppose that's to be expected.  So then…would you like to
tell us why Cord Random and Anakin Skywalker have been in our anteroom all
evening?"  Mace asked.

"It has become evident that Knight Cord Random can not be taken into the
Group.  His master was none of ours and his time working with Erac did
little to prepare him for our project.  His instincts are poor, his mindset
unwary, his philosophical viewpoints incompatible.  Also, he has no fear,
and not in the great Jedi tradition.  Fear may lead to anger, but it's also
a pretty good indicator of a dangerous situation.  Without it, he is
crippled to us.  Without it, he endangers his Padawan by exposing him to
volatile situations a child should never see," Kourt was vehement.

"I was under the impression that, once embraced, a Jedi could not be
released from the Shadow," Adi raised an eyebrow of inquiry.

"He has not been embraced.  And we aren't shadows, Councilor.  I tried to
introduce him to our line of work, but he proved unable or unwilling to
follow our simplest rules.  I will continue to work with him on the subject
Anakin Skywalker, but he will not be allowed to work with us further.  That
is my final word on the subject." Kourt threw a glance at Qui-Gon.

"I quite agree," Qui-Gon nodded solemnly.

Master Yoda stroked his chin thoughtfully.  "Our decision that is not. 
Grateful we are to be informed of your choice.  Go then and rest.  In your
rooms remain until tomorrow evening, then to the Testing arena come. 
Arrange for Torlamin to be brought, you will."

"Yes, Master," Kourt and Qui-Gon spoke in unison.
  
"May the Force be with you," Master Windu said, dismissing them.

They bowed and beat a hasty retreat.

Kourt turned his steps towards the antechamber but Qui-Gon put a hand out
to stop him.  "Do you need any help with that?"

Kourt flashed him a grin.  "The day I need help with an upstart Knight and
a Padawan Learner is the day you're putting me on my pyre, Old Man."

"Old Man?  Look who's talking!" Qui-Gon shot back.  "I'll just go get
Obi-Wan and lock us in for the duration."

"Have fun," Kourt smiled.  "Call me if you need anything."

Waving his agreement, Qui-Gon set off to collect his apprentice.

***************************************    

Kourt took a deep breath before stepping into the anteroom, preparing
himself for battle.  For all that he needed no help, he was certainly going
to be careful in this exchange.  The Chosen One, young Skywalker may be…
but no future was set in stone.  Anakin's future was more clouded than
most, making him a volatile and dangerous element in the already unstable
mix of Jedi working near the edges of the Dark.  That Cord Random hadn't
seen these dangers, or had chosen to ignore them only proved that he could
not be allowed even an inch of leeway with the group.

When he entered the anteroom, Cord was sitting on one of the benches.  Ani
was huddled in a corner playing with what looked to be a coil of wire. 
"Knight Random?"

"Good evening, Master Crowe,"  Cord replied miserably.

Kourt glanced at Anakin, then back at Cord.  "Would you ask your Padawan to
wait outside, please?"

Cord nodded.  "Ani, if you please, a little privacy?  Just outside, now. 
Don't wander off." Padawan Skywalker bounced to his feet, bowed to his
elders and disappeared through the doorway.

"I presume you've had some time to think about your actions?"  Kourt began.

"Yes, Master Crowe."

"By disobeying our laws, you have endangered yourself and, more
importantly, your Padawan.  I can not forgive such action.  We of the Group
may choose to involve ourselves in the Dark, but free choice is not an
option available to an apprentice.  A Padawan is sworn to follow where the
Master might lead.  It is the position of myself and my associates that no
junior Padawan may be led down this path for this very reason.  Once a
person becomes involved with the Dark, it will always dominate their
destiny," Kourt winced at the twisting of that particular bit of wisdom. 
It was too true to be anything but painful.

"I can't understand what it is you're so upset about.  She was sedated,
offered no threat,  Anakin was only finishing up his math lessons in the
waiting room.  Why is that so wrong?" Cord demanded.

"It is wrong because I told you to not allow him near her.  The situation
with Torlamin is akin to a combat situation.  You disobeyed orders under
fire.  If your Master was here, I'd send you off for corporal punishment,
for all that you are a knight now.  Suppose we had been wrong about her
condition?  You might have been killed.  HE might have been killed.  You
brought great danger to us all," Kourt tried to put his feelings into
words.  It was difficult, trying to voice reasoning that had so long been
with him that it had become second nature.

"What will become of us, Master Crowe?"  Cord whispered.

"You will remain here at the Temple where you can be watched and helped if
you need it.  As far as you can be spared from field duty, you will not be
sent on missions.  I will advise the Council that your dealings with
Torlamin have made you unreliable for the nonce.  I will try to have you
assigned to some position here on Coruscant, and some member of the Group
will be available to you at all times," Kourt informed him.

"House arrest, then?  What do you hope to accomplish with this?" Cord
inquired.

"I'm trying not to take you up to the West Tower and put an end to your
threat, young Knight.  Have you forgotten what I am?"  Kourt gazed at him
through slitted eyes.  "Only the fact that your Padawan has been through
enough trauma for one year keeps me from killing you tonight.  You are
officially unstable, summarily tainted and only long work in the Light will
prove to me that you are otherwise.  We take NO chances, Cord Random.  We
have NO compunctions when it comes to removing a threat to ourselves and
our loved ones. I am personally responsible for the fact that you became
involved in this at all.  I am, therefore, personally responsible for the
effects of that involvement.  I will stop at nothing to see my duty done."

Cord opened his mouth, then closed it, bowing his head.  Kourt reached out
to him, searching for any sign of defiance or anger.  To his relief, there
was none.  Only confusion and a bare hint of fear.  He sighed.  "Take your
Padawan home.  We will see to your duty assignment day after tomorrow."

"Yes, Master Crowe.  Thank you, Master Crowe," Cord stood and bowed, hiding
behind the rote responses.  They stepped into the hallway and Cord beckoned
to Anakin.  "Come along, Padawan."

Anakin stood from the place he had occupied while they spoke.  "Master
Crowe?  I made this for you…"  The boy held out a small figure made of
twisted wire.  A tiny bird with beads for eyes.  "If you pull the tail, the
wings work."

Kourt smiled as the bird obediently flapped for him. "Thank you, Anakin. 
If it pleases you and your Master, I shall see about getting you clearance
to the machining room day after tomorrow."

"Thank you, Master," the young boy bowed solemnly.  

"Thank you again, Master Crowe," Cord bowed over the top of the child.  

He watched the pair retreat from his presence and forced his worry from his
mind.  Hopefully these measures would prove to be enough, as they had in
the past.  Hopefully, this would be the beginning of a strong
Master/Padawan pairing, one the Order could be most proud of.

Kourt sighed. *Don't make me regret this, Cord.  If you do, you'll pay in
blood.*

***********************************  
During their walk back from Master Ar'thapa's rooms, Qui-Gon had been
unusually silent.  He offered no information on the Council meeting and
Obi-Wan was strangely reluctant to ask, here in the hallways where anyone
might overhear.  Somehow, he was also reluctant to touch his master's mind,
preferring to leave him in peace except for the occasional sending of
comfort and support.

Upon entering their rooms Qui-Gon checked for messages, read over one then
switched off the vidscreen. Qui-Gon settled onto the sofa and fixed his
eyes on the window.  Obi-Wan cast about for something to do, then decided
to simply be there for his master.  He knelt down beside the coffee table,
centered his thoughts and relaxed.  If Qui-Gon needed him, he would be here
waiting.

A long moment passed, then Obi-Wan broke it, asking "What did Master Crowe
have to say to you?"

Qui-Gon sighed, passed a hand over his face and looked at his apprentice. 
"Master Crowe took it upon himself to put some heavy demands on the
Council.  They agreed, under certain restrictions.  We've been assigned to
help him run some tests regarding Corubia and Torlamin.  We'll be starting
with them tomorrow and the Council asks that we remain here, more or less,
until then."

"You are helping in the test as well?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yes.  There will be a little falsehood entered into the Council Records,
according to the message I just received.  Officially, you are to be tested
for 'signs of the Dark Side', whatever that means.  Again, officially, I
informed the Council that if they questioned your integrity they questioned
mine.  They chose to also question mine.  Of course, this led to a bout of
debate as to the manner of testing, which I saw no point in involving
myself with.  More fodder for the 'Qui-Gon Jinn, Maverick Jedi' legend,"
Qui-Gon punctuated this with an editorial snort.  "Anyway, that gives us a
leg to stand on when it comes to enlisting the help of the Council with
these proceedings."

"And will Corubia be staying with us?" Obi-Wan had meant to gather some
bedding for her.  There was plenty of space in his room for her belongings.

"No.  She has been 'ordered' to stay with Master Crowe.  I argued the
point, saying she would be most welcome here, but the Council wants her 'in
hand' as quickly as possible.  Well, I think Kourt will have a few
surprises for them on that quarter, anyway."  Qui-Gon smiled.  

"And Rue Torlamin?"

"She's being seen to.  What we're really doing is trying to establish her
fitness as a Master, or lack thereof.  I am deeply concerned about what we
are dealing with in her.  What she did was not even mostly from insanity. 
She may have turned against us, irredeemably.  If there is even the
slightest bit of good left in her, we will try to save her.  I fear there
is not."  Qui-Gon's smile disappeared with these words.

"Has Corubia seen her?"

"Not yet, but she soon will.  One of the deepest and most powerful bonds
Torlamin had was with her Padawan.  It is gone, shattered by her turning. 
Corubia seemed more relieved than anything and I don't blame her for a
second." Qui-Gon shuddered at the thought of being bonded to a darksider. 
He remembered clearly the ache that came when his bond to Xanatos had
shattered under the strain of conflict.  Even more clearly he recalled that
the break had been a relief.  He had no longer been connected in any way to
the evil his student had become.  

He realized he had closed his eyes only when he opened them.  Obi-Wan was
wiping his tears away, drying them from his cheeks and beard. "Master, it
will not happen."

"What?"

"It will not happen again.  Not with me.  I swear it.  I would sooner die
than to hurt you, abandon you for something as stupid and revolting as that
kind of evil." Obi-Wan spoke earnestly.

"I never thought you would.  And I think you would sooner lop off your own
arm than give me so much as a paper cut."

The fact that Obi-Wan simply nodded at this opinion made Qui-Gon's heart
ache.  He gave so much, so willingly.  Perhaps his student had no concept
of taking for himself, or even accepting a gift. * I should be doing more
to teach him.  I know it's been rare for me to show him that kind of care. 
I doubt if anyone else has, either. * And yet he hesitated.  He had been
just that indulgent with Xanatos in the beginning, before it was apparent
that such love would be abused.  One look at Obi-Wan sitting so still, so
patient, pushed all such considerations out of the realm of reason. 

So still.  Qui-Gon realized what he was seeing for the first time.  Obi-Wan
sat, in Upward Lion pose, not a fidget to be found.  "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master?"

"Stand up.  Give me Warrior Pose."

Obi-Wan stood fluidly, jumped his feet shoulder-width apart and held his
arms out, palms down.  He shifted his placement and balance and stood
perfectly still.  Even the rise and fall of his breath was so slow as to be
nearly imperceptible.

"Just hold that." Qui-Gon said.  It was a command his Padawan had often
struggled with.  He had occasionally managed to get his perpetual motion
under control, but it usually took long bouts of practice and meditation
before the stillness would win out over movement.  Only in battle did
immobility and stealth come naturally to Obi-Wan.

Now the boy was as still as a sculpture.

Qui-Gon reached out through his link to Obi-Wan, seeking entrance to his
thoughts.  Obi-Wan let the shields he held fall away.  No resistance, no
struggle.  That alone gave Qui-Gon pause.  He cast about to find what had
brought these changes in Obi-Wan.   Finding them, he withdrew to his own
mind.

"You read your records again?" 

"Yes, Master."

"And it influenced you that much?"

"I know you can count on me to be sufficient as your partner, Master.  All
my records, everything Master Crow says, everything you say tells me that
this is true."

"Tree pose." 

Obi-Wan shifted into that stance. 

Qui-Gon continued his interrogation.  "And this knowledge did what for
you?"

"It stilled my fears.  Even if I am personally unworthy to be with you,
even if I am spiritually unworthy for the job I have been allowed to have, 
I know I have been trained to be sufficient to the task."  Obi-Wan paused,
breathed calmly.  "Now I believe my thoughts are closer to being stilled,
though they are not quite so yet, Master."

"Indeed they are not.  I must watch this closely, Padawan.  It is important
in your development.  You still think yourself less than you are.  You MUST
learn a way to get beyond your Enemy.  Still, you accept your own ability,
which is a good thing. You also imply that you believe we will serve
together in the long term and are allowing yourself to become accustomed to
the idea." Qui-Gon would have been blind, deaf and dumb to miss the sharp
intake of breath, and the slow curling of index finger over thumbnail that
occurred with this announcement.  He was relieved, he found, to see that
little tick occur.  "If indeed you are comfortable with the idea of being
my partner after you pass your Trials, I would be most honored.  And it
would save me one HELL of an argument with the Council."

"They want us working together, then?"

"Depending on how this whole Torlamin thing turns out, they will probably
order me to begin persuading you.  I'd hate to get into that argument
again.  I'm glad it may be possible to avoid it. It will be possible to
avoid it, yes?"

Obi-Wan shrugged.  

"Do you want us to be together?"

"I have never been apart from you, how would I know if it would be better
or worse?" Obi-Wan was frank with Qui-Gon.

"You mistake yourself, Obi-Wan.  You have been very much apart from me and
more often than you think.  I want you to meditate upon that while I rest."
Qui-Gon took on his instructing tone with these words.

"Yes, Master."

************************

Corubia stared down through the observation window into the holding cell
deep in the Jedi Temple.  Her master was down there, clothed in loose pants
and shirt, binders securing her wrists. *Ex-Master * she reminded herself. 
Rue Torlamin looked quite a bit worse for the wear, livid bruises on face
and arms.  "Why did you do that to her?"

Master Crowe was standing next to her, back to the observation window.  "We
didn't.  She's almost totally out of control.  When we removed any
opposition from her vicinity, she…I don't know how to describe it.  She
turned her use of the Force against herself.  She's heavily sedated
now…aware of her surroundings, but not lucid enough to use her abilities."

Corubia nodded.  "I can't feel her.  I reach out to her and she's not
there.  No Bond, no identifiable signature in the Force any more..."  She
turned her back to the window, went to a small table where a pot of cav sat
ready.  Kourt joined her for a cup.

"She's still in the Force, Corubia.  The difference is that we can not see
into where she is.  Her spirit is joined to the Dark Side and lives there
now.  If you tried, you could still reach her mind, but I don't think you'd
like it.  When she's awake, lucid…it's pretty ugly.  I think the madness
has started to recede and she's starting to get a handle on how to use and
control the Force again, but only through the veil of Darkness that
surrounds her.  She's certainly getting better at hurting herself."  He
sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. 

 "I have a plan…one you could help me with, if you are brave.  It is still
possible that she could come back to us.  I have heard stories, seen cases
where those who turned against us came back, through love of some other
person, someone they valued more than themselves.  Mothers rescuing their
own children,  Knights protecting lovers or friends, or someone they
partnered with…we've saved several like this.  It is possible that Rue
Torlamin might come back to us if she needed to help you.  You're the
closest thing to family she's got."  He settled himself down into one of
the chairs, waiting for her to choose.

Corubia picked at a loose scale on her arm while she considered this.  "I
don't think it would work out, Master Crowe.  You're talking about external
relationships.  Whatever there was between Master Torlamin and myself was
destroyed when the Bond between us snapped.  It's just…gone.  I look at
her, I recognize her and remember all the time we spent and how much I
cared about her, but beyond that…it's just memories.  As if we were friends
a very long time ago, but not very good friends and a long time has
passed."

Master Crowe folded his hands in his lap.  "I was afraid of that.  It has
ever been so between a Master and Padawan.  Closeness and trust during
training, then a clean break.  I have always been glad of that mercy.  The
friendships I have with those I trained were built out of mutual respect
and the choice to care for one another, rather than the feelings of trust
and companionship that the Force creates with the Bond.  But in this
instance, I could wish it were otherwise."

Corubia went to look down on Torlamin once more.  The pitiful figure below
was beginning to move, slow, painful motions as she drew herself into some
semblance of a Reclining pose.  Corubia reached out, tried to touch the
thoughts within that mind, then sighed with relief.  "She's trying.  Trying
to still her thoughts, touch the Light.  I will do what I must.  I will
help you however you think I can, Master Crowe.  But you must also help
me.  There is no way she is in any condition to continue my training. 
Please help me find someone who can."

"Of course, Padawan Nall.  It is my honor to so help you." Master Crowe
stood and put his cup aside.  "Come now, there is yet much to do before the
testing tomorrow."