Title: As Time Goes By  
Author: Rina Stewart
E-mail: TimesPasst@aol.com
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Distribution: Please, take it! I'd like a note so I can visit it, though.
Disclaimer: Willow, Xander, and the rest of the people you recognize belong 
to Joss Whedon and the WB. Melanie and Katherine belong to me. DynaVox really 
is a corporation-my brother uses one of their augmentative communication 
devices.
Spoilers: Anything through Grad 2 is fair game. It branches off from there -  
no season 4. 
Keyword: W/X, some B/S
Rating: NC-17
Song credits: She's So High is performed by Tal Bachman.
Forever Home (A Father's Lullaby) is performed by Wally Kurth.
Sixteen Going On Seventeen and Something Good are from the musical "The Sound 
of Music."
Summary: After two years on the road, Xander comes home. . .but he's not 
alone. 
Feedback: It's the perfect yum. <g> Please send some? 
Author's note: I wrote/posted this last summer to UCSL. This has some changes 
and added bits. : )
Dedicated to Krissy, who helped write some key scenes, as well as Melissa and 
Danielle, as always, and now Jonathan. *g* 

~*~

April 25, 2001

Willow Rosenberg was sprawled on her living room couch, soft classical music 
playing in the background as she read a book for her sophomore Lit class. 
Buffy Summers, her roommate, was training with Rupert Giles at his place, and 
she had the whole apartment to herself. The warm April sunshine filtered 
through the window, softly lighting the small, but comfortable, room. Her red 
hair, grown long again, was pulled back in a braid, and she twirled a loose 
lock as she concentrated on what she was reading. The phone rang, and she 
absently reached for it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Will."

At these words, she dropped the book and sat up straight, grasping the phone 
tightly. "Xander?" she breathed. "Oh, my. Where are you? Why haven't you 
called me? Or written? I've been worried about you! Ten months. . .you better 
have a very good excuse, Alexander Harris," she told him, only half joking.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Wills," he apologized. "Oh, man, you don't know 
how good it is to hear your voice again," he sighed. 

"It's good to hear from you, too," she admitted with a smile.  "So, where are 
you now?"

He hesitated. "I'm in Chicago. I have been since just after we last talked. 
So, um, how are you? And Buffy and Giles?" he asked, trying to change the 
subject. This conversation was even harder than he had imagined, and he 
hadn't even told her anything yet.

"I'm doing good. Evan and I started dating, and then we broke up a few weeks 
back, but we're still kind of friends," she told him. Willow and Oz had 
broken up during freshman year when he went on tour with the Dingoes. She 
hadn't dated anyone for a long time after that, until she met Evan Simmons 
during a summer course. By Christmas, they were going out, and by St. 
Patrick's Day, they were over. "Just didn't work out for us. Giles is good. 
His bookstore is doing fairly well, and he's happy. Buffy and. . .oooh! This 
is new for you," she grinned.

"What's new?" he asked, playfully suspicious. 

"Well, you know how Spike came back to Sunnydale last year after Drusilla was 
killed?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Oh, no," he groaned, realization dawning.

"Oh, yes," Willow said with a giggle. "Buffy and Spike are now involved. 
Giles really wasn't thrilled at first, but Spike has been really helpful with 
Slaying and stuff. He's head over heels for her, and behaves a lot better 
now, so it's all good. They take care of each other. How have you been?"

And here it was. He took a deep breath. "Well, you know, I'm good. Really. . 
.I'm going to be a father." 

"Oh!" Willow squeaked, stunned. There was a momentary pause as it sank in. 
"Oh. Well, congratulations. Who's the mother? I didn't know you had a 
girlfriend. Or a wife. You'd tell me if you had a wife, wouldn't you?" she 
asked quickly, her tone turning urgent. 

"Oh, no, of course I would have told you that, Will," he hastened to reassure 
her. "Her name's Megan. I met her in Chicago, obviously, and we started 
dating. We've broken up now. We had before she found out she was pregnant," 
he explained.

"Oh," Willow said again. "When's the baby due?"

"Um, May 17," he said nervously.

Willow was silent, and he closed his eyes, praying that she didn't hate him. 
"Of this year? Sorry, of course of this year. But it's April. April 25. Today 
is. And you're telling me this now?" She sounded so hurt, and Xander felt 
even worse.

"I'm sorry, Will. I am. I just. . .," he sighed. "I didn't know how to tell 
you. I knew you would be all disappointed in me, and I just couldn't handle 
that. So I put it off. Many times. And now Megan is about nine months along, 
and I don't have much time left. So, here I am. Telling you."

Willow sighed. "Xand, you've known me for almost twenty years. You didn't 
know that I'd be thrilled for you? That I would be there to help you any way 
you needed it?" 

"I know. I should have known that, but I was so scared, Wills. You. . .your 
opinion means everything to me, and I couldn't bear to know you'd think less 
of me," he tried to explain. 

"Well, you told me now, so I guess that's what counts, right?" she said, 
trying to relieve the tension a little. "So, um, you guys broke up, huh? What 
are you going to do now? About the baby, I mean."

"I have no idea," he said bluntly. "It started out with Megan wanting the 
baby, and I wasn't sure, and now Megan definitely wants nothing to do with 
it, and I think I want to raise it. I mean, the baby is mine, Will. I created 
this living thing, and it's going to come and depend completely on me. Which 
sounds horrifically scary and wonderful all at the same time. I just don't 
know if I can do it. I mean, what do I know about kids? And I can't raise a 
child in the dump I live in. And who am I to raise a kid? I am a kid!" 
Xander's mind was racing with the negatives of him keeping the baby.

"Xand?" Willow broke into his tirade. "Xander, stop it. You have a knack with 
kids, probably because, yes, you still act like one. If you want the baby, 
keep it. You can do it. And I'll help you when you need it. We all will. 
Okay?" Her voice almost shook with her unshed tears. Every word she spoke was 
like a little knife into her heart.

"You'd help me?" he asked, needing the reassurance.

"Yes, I would," she told him softly. "I'll always be here for you, Xander. 
Call me, okay? Soon. None of this ten months stuff again."

"I will," he said, voice trembling. "Thank you, Willow."

"Anytime, Xand. Bye now." She gently hung up the phone and dissolved into 
tears. 

Buffy found her there, still crying, twenty minutes later. "Will? Willow, 
what's wrong? Are you okay?" She rushed over to her friend and knelt down 
next to her.

Willow's red rimmed eyes met her friend's. "Xander called. He's going to be a 
father." She dashed her hands over her eyes as Buffy's mouth dropped open. 
"Yeah. Girl named Megan, in Chicago. Baby's due in three weeks, and he just 
told me today." 

"Oh, Willow, I'm sorry," Buffy said softly, inwardly cursing at Xander for 
his stupidity.

Willow tried to smile. "I'm okay. Really. It's just a shock. 'Cause, you 
know, I always thought that I would be the one having Xander's babies." She 
started crying again, and Buffy quickly moved to hug her. 

"I'm sorry, Willow," Buffy soothed. "It'll be okay. Really. I promise." She 
rocked her friend slowly. "You'll be fine."


~*~

May 29, 2001

Willow poked her head inside Buffy's room. As usual, the blonde had music 
blaring as she worked out, punching and kicking an invisible opponent. 
"Buffy?" Willow called out. Buffy didn't stop. "Buffy!" she shouted. 

Buffy started. "Will! Sorry, didn't hear you." She turned the music down and 
dropped down on her bed, taking a long drink from her water bottle. "What's 
up?"

Willow walked inside the room, sitting down on the chest at the foot of 
Buffy's bed. She played with the corner of the soft blue bedspread, not 
looking up. "Xander called. Just now. The baby was born this morning."

"Oh, Will," Buffy said sympathetically. 

Willow resolutely ignored the interruption, her calm exterior betrayed only 
by her fingers moving faster as she worried the bedspread. "It was a girl. 
Melanie Kathleen Harris. Born at 7:56 this morning, Chicago time, weighing in 
at six pounds and eight ounces. She's doing really well. Xander sounded 
proud."

"It's a pretty name," Buffy offered, watching her friend closely. 

Willow finally looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. She offered her 
friend a small smile. "Kathleen is my middle name, too. He said he wanted to 
name her after me," she said softly. She roughly wiped at her eyes, mad at 
herself for crying again. "Anyway," she said, her voice stronger, "they're 
both doing well. Megan is fine, but has signed away her rights as a parent. 
It won't be final for a few months, but it's pretty evident that she means 
it. So, Xander's alone to raise Melanie. And that's all he had time to say. 
He wanted to go feed his daughter." She stood up. "I just thought you'd want 
to know. So, I'll see you later."

"Will, how about a girl's night out tonight?" Buffy asked suddenly. "Movies, 
stuffing our faces with things not found in nature, staying up all night. 
Could be fun."

Willow smiled sadly at her friend. "Thanks, Buffy, but I think I just want 
quiet tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" she asked, knowing that she was just trying 
to be nice.

Buffy nodded, and tried to smile brightly. "Tomorrow it is. And, Will?" 
Willow turned back around at the door. "It's okay. He's not out of your life. 
He'll be back."

Willow shrugged. "We'll see, I guess." She left the room, wondering how 
things could ever be the same.

~*~
end part one