Half a year had gone by. I was still in my mIRC and icq world. I had remembered him but never bothered to send him any icq message because as I had always mentioned, netfriends come and go. Suddenly out of the blue one day, he sent me an icq message asking me how had my life been. A long icq chat followed. And he told me that he was attached then. Sigh~~ why do all good guys seems to be attached before I can get to know them better?
Another half a year had gone by again when I started receiving emails from him to all his friends. It took me some time to recall this same person who was now thanking his friends for their help and support these 2months was him. Curiousity got over me and I wrote an email back to him and asked him what happened. We corresponded the next few days through short emails to each other. It is followed by chats on the phone that lasted a few hours each night. It was also then I realised that he had broke off with his girlfriend and was feeling low. And I was with him each night on the phone telling him to move on with life. And he had also mentioned that I had grew up a lot and had grown more mature in my thinkings from the 1 year since we known each other.
Finally we met for the first time afer knowing each other for one year at Bugis Junction for some coffee and movies. It was like any normal blind irc date. We ended the night with supper and me singing a song telling him to get out of his darkness world. There were some kissing and hugging in the cold night. When he sent me home, I said good night and see him around online. The next night we chatted on the phone and he said it felt strange with me saying good night in such a way. Over the next few days, we correspondded via emails, icq and also emails. I remembered one of the emails I had sent to him, I told him not to be so nice to me just in case I fell for him as I knew he would never love me then as he was still deeply in love with his ex gf. We talked on the phone because of this, and he assured me that all he wanted from me is a pure friendship and nothing more.
We met for dinner a few days after our first date. I teased him openly in one of the benches at Orchard Road. He was so embarrassed and out of control then. He laughed at how I tried to act big and bor-chap when I was actually a shy little girl inside. We went somewhere quiet and talked. That night I had sensed that he was not in his usual self. He was more quiet and keep looking at me deep in my eyes and planting little kisses on my forehead. Curiousity got over me again and I asked him what was on his mind. He simply kissed my forehead again and asked "Will I be seeing u again after tonight?" I laughed and was so surprised that he had remembered me telling him that I would not normally meet my netfriends for more than 2 times. And that was exactly on my mind that night. Though he seems such a nice and sincere guy, I had no intention of breaking my so-called rule because of him. After a while, he asked me whether I want to be his gf. He had told me I had managed to make him see the light and think back and reflect about his past relationship. He also mentioned that he was confused with himself after the first date that was why he put on a brave front and assured me that he just wanted a pure friendship with me.
I agreed. And the next 6 months were the most wonderful in my life. He had seen a 2000 piece of jigsaw puzzle and hinted he wished to have it. And I spent the next 1.5 months every night trying to finish up the puzzle with him on the other end of my phone line. He made a CD with all his favourite songs he wanted to share with me for my birthday. He had mentioned that I looked exactly like the "notti lil girl" on the front cover of the CD. Some afternoons, we would be happily in East Coast feeding the terrapins in the ponds with kangkong and bread. And he always said that I was such a notti girl, feeding only my favourite terrapins in the ponds and trying hard not to let the fish eat the bread I had thrown in.
But the good days don't last long. It was after being together for 6months that he had decided to break up with me. He felt that we were not advancing in the relationship. And both of us were too headstrong and always quarrelled for the slightest issue. We could not even communicate our feelings to each other. It was getting too miserable for both of us. We tried and tried on our own to get the relationship moving, but it would only ended up to be much worse than before. He suggested the break up hoping that I would be happier without him by my side and not wishing to delay my time in finding someone who would love and care for me the way he wanted to do but cannot do.
I tried means and ways to make him come back to me but in no vail. He had made up his mind and will not change his decision. I had learnt that I had love him deep enough to respect his decison. I just hope that he would be happier wihtout me by his side also.
I just hoped for the day both of us had grown up and is softer on our views and had decided that we wanna spend the rest of our lives with each other. Our meeting is a twist of fate. We had waited for 2 half years before we met up and had spent another half year being together. I just wished that in another half year, maybe we had then both learnt that we want to spent the rest of the half years in our lives together... Maybe I will have to wait for a few more half years for it to happens... Maybe I will have to wait for the rest of the half years in my life for nothing to happen at all... Maybe... I just hope....
Written on 16th October 2000
Posted at Catcha-stories, KoB forum, Singalore forum