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The great Diabutsu (Buddha) of Kamakura.

My son at Kamakura in 1999.


My husband and son at Sea Paradise, Yokohama Hakkeijima, in 1999.


My son at Tokyo Disneyland in 1998.

Japanese culture is very fascinating and interesting. However, it is different from American culture. You cannot expect to arrive in Japan and behave the exact same way you would in the United States. You will need to make some changes, if you want to truly fit in. The following are some examples of Japanese culture that you might find interesting.

Apology

Let's say that you were driving your rental car in Japan. You are an excellent driver. However, on your way to a friend's house you had an accident. A child ran out into the street from an alley just as you were driving by. You were driving under the speed limit and paying attention, so you were able to step on the brakes immediately. However, the car brushed against the child and caused him to fall down. You immediately stopped and asked someone to call the police and ambulance.

Luckily, the child's injuries were minor. The police didn't even give you a ticket because the accident wasn't your fault. You felt bad for the child, but you were relieved that you didn't receive a ticket. You decided that there was nothing more you could do, so you tried to forget about the incident. However, after a few days, you heard from a policeman that the child's parents were extremely upset about your response to the incident.

What did you do wrong?

ANSWER:

In Japan, you are expected to apologize and visit the victim of an accident, even if you are not at fault. This shows your sincerity. Moreover, you are expected to apologize whenever the other party involved suffers in anyway, materially or emotionally. In many court cases, the criminal gets a lesser sentence when it is clear that they regret what they've done, as shown in their apology.

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Compliments

Modesty is highly valued in Japanese society. An example of this cultural value is the denial of compliments. If you give a Japanese person a compliment, they would refuse to directly accept the compliment by giving a negative reply.

Let's say you had a Japanese friend who spoke fairly good English. So, you compliment her on her good English speaking skills. Instead of a "Thank you" as a reply, your friend would probably smile and say how much more she still had to learn.

You should expect contradictory replies because a direct acceptance of the compliment would indicate immodesty.

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Blowing Your Nose in Public

It is considered rude in Japan to blow your nose if front of others. If at all possible, you should blow your nose in private, or, at the very least, you should turn away before blowing your nose. Also, Japanese people use disposable paper tissues not cloth handerchiefs!

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Touching

You might notice while in Japan that there is a lot of bumping and pushing going on during the busy daily commute on the trains and on the streets. People push and shove without even an apology, seemingly ignoring what is considered by Americans as a comfortable and appropriate personal body distance. This might take some getting used to! This is an example of unintentional body contact. Physical contact on crowded trains and streets is considered impersonal and unavoidable. This type of physical contact is readily accepted.

However, you might be surprised at the reaction you get if you hug one of your Japanese friends. I actually had this experience. My Japanese friends had taken my family and me out on a wonderful day trip to pick strawberries. We had a wonderful time, and they were very hospitable. At the end of the day, our Japanese friends dropped us off at our apartment building. We were standing by the car saying our goodbyes, and I naturally gave my female friend a hug while thanking her for a wonderful time. I am naturally a physical person and giving a hug comes easily to me. However, my Japanese friend seemed shocked and stiff at my attempt to hug her. I was very surprised!

Intentional physical contact in public, especially hugging, is very rare. Japanese people do not have as much intentional body contact as Americans do.

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