| Imagine what would be diferent about your life if you were a man | ||||||||
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| Hmmmm, me as a man, that's a strange thought. For a start, I'd have to be a Scout, but there's something about the Scouting way that I don't get on with (or perhaps that was just the very unusual unit I was with) so perhaps I wouldn't be a Scout. I'd have some random extra body parts, which would be interesting. They can tend to have a bit of a life of their own, and I think that would start to get a bit annoying. Not to mention the fact that they're really messy and are an obvious weak spot. I would have to shave my face every day, or go for the hobo look like many of my friends. Hobo's fine for uni, but I doubt it'd go down to well in the real world. I think I'd end up with the hobo look. And I'd have to have short hair which must be so annoying. Men's hair needs to be at that sort of 'gel-able' length, not really short, but not getting messy either. I'd have to wash my hair every day to get all the junk out, which must be the most tedious thing ever. That's the best thing about having long hair, it's so quick to deal with. Men's clothes aren't exactly varied, or to be honest particularly exciting; and I wouldn't exactly be able to go pretty dress shopping. That said, men's trousers do come in waist sizes and leg lengths, so I might actually be able to find trousers that fit me properly, which would make a nice change. I doubt I'd be able to still reach top G, but as I don't ever have to do that now anyway it'd be no great loss. Although, I'd probably have to get over the fact that I can sometimes find male singing voices really amusing (no, I have no idea why either). No boobs or periods, which would be a bit wierd at first. Actually that'd be really strange. I'd probably feel exactly the same as now until I walked past a mirror or went to the loo, that's when it'd hit most. And I'd be able to pee standing up, although I can't really see the attraction, especially as men tend to be so bad with actually getting it into the toilet. I'd be stronger, so I imagine that'd instantly up my archery scores. Although it might require some new arrows first, as they'd be too weak for me. As a man, I don't think I'd propositioned by as many random women as I am currently by random men. Which, while being less amusing when looking back on things, is probably a good thing when it comes to not being groped by random men on buses again. All those propositions of marriage that I'd miss out on (well, only 2 so far); I wouldn't be honked at by lorry drivers either. This is now reminding me of all those wonderful bizarre moments. Male me probably wouldn't have got a dutch lorry driver ringing the doorbell after looking through my bedroom window either (yep, that did happen). I can't imagine many men get approached by strange women telling them their trousers are too long either (yep, crazy man. Thought I was Polish). So on the whole, less strange incidents involving random members of the opposite sex. I reckon it'd be easier to get a job. I can't help thinking, even at 22, that as they're interviewing me people are wondering how likely it is that they'll have to fork out some maternity pay for me. Also the fact that if I was a bumbling, slightly incompetent nutter and male, then that would just be seen as being me, whereas being a bumbling, slightly incompetent nutter and female then it's obviously because I'm a girl, and I feel like I'm letting the side down. As a man, I'd never have any of these family or career dilemmas, possibly because up until recently men always did the career thing and women did the family thing. While women have become more vocal about the career thing, men haven't done likewise about the family thing. I guess maybe it's easier to go from a breadwinner role to bringing in a bit less bread and spending time with the family, than it is to go from a caring role to a bringing in some bread. Maybe having a career and being a mother is seen as slight abandonment, whereas being a career man who spends time with the kids is seen as a the ideal. Although perversely, I don't think it's a particularly easy for women to stay at home with the family either, you need two (or more!) incomes to feed the mortgage. I think it's probably easier to get through life being a man, but I don't think I'd ever want to be a man. I like being a girl. Chocolate cures all, and nothing beats a good girlie gossip. I think I probably look a lot better in Guide navy and aqua than I would in Scout mushroom. It's taken me 20 odd years to get used to this body, I'd be heading for 40 by the time I'd be used to a new one. But basically I quite like me, and there's nothing really needs changing, particularly not anything as drastic as my gender. But I shall leave the final word to my (male) friend Chris - "What would be different about your life if you were a man - well you'd be more useless of course!" |
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