| Cards That Hallmark Will Never Sell !! |
| So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look on the bright side, it's really good pay. |
| My Tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry ! |
| Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. |
| Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder? What the hell was I thinking ? |
| Congratulations on your wedding day ! Too bad no one likes your husband. |
| I'm so miserable without you.. it's almost like you're here. |
| How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby ?? |
| I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you... I've changed my mind. |
| I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in hell until I met you ! |
| As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. |
| Congratulations on your promotion ! Before you go... would you like to take this knife out of my back ?? You'll probably need it again. |
| Someday I hope to get married.. but not to you ! |
| Happy Birthday !! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike ! |
| When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. |
| We have been friends for a very long time... what do you say we stop ?? |
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| Congratulations on the new bundle of joy... Did you ever find out who the Father was ?? |
| Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... So we are having you put to sleep ! |
| Happy Birthday Uncle Dad ! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) |