---I just have to put this in here, because it's on of my favorite pieces....
The Dancer
By now I've pretty much gotten used to the rushing around, the traveling, and my crabby mother right before grand entry. "Why don't you ever sit down?!", she says as I stand up to give myself the last minute look-over; making sure my hair-ties are securely in place, my fluffy eagle plume is in tact, and my skirt is on straight. I grab my shawl and eagle fan and walk away.
I walk up to the dance arena, waiting for my category to be called. "Women's traditional 18-49, stand by, we'll be coming to you next." As the emcee is announcing the list of judges, I get a queasy, shaky feeling run through me from my hair to my toe nail polish.
Nervously, I walk slowly into the dance circle, marking my position with a grim look on my face. I glance around at my competition, seeing whom I'd be able to keep in beat with. The arena director gives the emcee and the drum groups the "high sign" and soon the drum begins. I stand there, shaky at first, then suddenly; I start bobbing up and down to every-other beat of the drum. Thump, thump, thump. The beat gradually progresses until it's a repetitive beat that I can dance to. The beat is no faster than my heart, and no slower than a second on a clock.
I look down to the fringe of my shawl, making sure it's swaying in the right direction, and not falling off my arm. I imagine dancing all by myself; as though I'm an invisible being, dancing right across the water. Taking deep, gradual steps, I stop to think, "Am I on beat?" I look up, give the judges a confident smile and scope out the other dancers.
I see the bright flash of the cameras wanting my picture. The beautiful beadwork of my hair-ties, medallion, and choker glisten in the luminous light. I think about the hard work I put into my beadwork, how intricate the design and the tininess of the beads. The people in the crowd stare at me in awe as i dance slowly past them.
There's a sudden change in the drumbeat-the honor beat. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. I bend over slowly, honoring my mother earth as well as the drum group. Slowly I turn my head to the left, just enough to see the crowd. So many things are running through my mind at this time. I think about the pain burning up my calf muscles, the intensity of the sun shining down on me and I think, "Why am I dancing?"
As the beat subsides, I stand up straight again, returning to my deep, gradual steps. I can feel the beat of the drum going through my body. So slow, but yet it's just right to dance to.
Nearing the end of the song, I prepare to stop. Getting the stop on the last beat is an accomplishment that I have conquered. As i turn to the roaring crowd, a tear comes to my eye. A sense of pride soon over comes me.
I walk up in front of the emcee's stand and get in line to be judged. I stand there, next to my nemesis, and smile to each one of the judges. When I turn to shake hands to wish each other luck and a job well done, I feel my own leg shaking. A standing ovation greets me as I walk sorely out of the dance arena.
An overwhelming thought comes to my mind, as well as an answer to my question; I'm proud to be who I am. I dance for myself in honor of Mother Earth and everything in it. I am thankful for all it's given me and now I have just honored it. I realize who I am now........I am Ogwe'o:weh.
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