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Title: Pre-Calling
Author: smlvlchk
Rating: PG
Summary: Lana debates whether to pursue a relationship with Clark due to his inability to open up, it will lead to something totally expected, yet no one never thought it would ever actually happen.

Lana drove her car in a deafening silence, not that there would be anyone to talk to considering she was alone. The radio had interrupted her thoughts so she finally turned it off. The only noise was the steady swoosh of the wipers going back and forth on the windshield and the soft pattering of the rain on the windows.

She was not sure where she was going. It felt like the car had a mind of its own and was driving for her so she could be left alone with her thoughts. There was only one thing her mind could rest on, and that was the subject of Clark Kent. He had been the center of her thoughts for a very long time, he was evading her every move with his presence in her heart. He had dominated her lifestyle for the last several years, since they had become really close. She felt obliged to live up to his expectations, which she had told him just the other night.

That evening he had told her that nothing could happen that would make him change the way he saw her, and as she learned, it was the image of the girl who had it all together. She didn’t want him to see the side of her that didn’t have it all together. The side of her who stayed up at night crying because of complications in her head. The side of her that was imperfect.

What was so wrong with him just seeing the side of her that came out in public? He didn’t let her in on his innermost feelings. It seemed like an excuse, but it was more of a challenge. Would a dose of his own medicine help him to open up? Or would it cause him to close up even more? That really got Lana thinking. With how bad she wanted him to open up to her, she would not let her pride interfere. What was more important to her, her pride or Clark’s intimacy?

Nothing was certain now.

Another thought came to mind. No matter how secretive Clark was about his personal life, he was usually very open with her about his feelings for her whether it was directly of indirectly. There were so many times when Lana felt that this was it, they were finally going to be together. Every time it ended, she realized it was not the right time. First there was the time when Clark had just waltzed into the Talon and stopped her in her tracks. It was very appealing to her the way he was so confident, definitely not the farm boy she knew. He was assertive and engulfed her with his presence. He told her directly that he had feelings for her and then kissed her with the kind of passion she had imagined but did not know he was capable of. It was deep and lasted only a short while before he ran out as fast as he had come in only to take her out that evening. She could still taste the memory on her lips and smiled when she replayed it in her mind. It made her weak at the knees and her heart melt. But as the memory progressed, it was all she could do to shake it off. What started out as happiness turned into abandonment as he ditched her for someone else. Now that memory made her shudder.

The next time an attempted relationship happened, Clark had walked into the Talon, with less confidence but it was still all the same, and had directly asked her out. No pressure, no kiss. Lana said yes and they were planning on that same evening, that is, until he backed out because he claimed Pete wasn’t feeling well and he needed to take him to the hospital. Lana, of course, was very offended when she found Pete alive and well. Not only that, Lana had heard from an employee that Clark and Chloe were making out inside the Talon. She had gone out to investigate only to find a blindsided Clark laying on the sidewalk. When it was all over it became apparent that Clark was right about Pete, he had needed hospitalization after all, but the wound was still there.

Both times Clark had tried to apologize, bringing a rose and a pizza the first time. He was truly sorry, she saw it in his face and sensed it in his heart, but she couldn’t get past the fact that he would not open up. She tried to ask him what went wrong, but he shut up like a clam. Each time he only offered himself and an apology to try and make up for what he could not tell her and for what seemed to be as painful for him as it was for her.

The question in her mind was evolving. It was now more a question of satisfaction. Was she satisfied with what Clark was willing to offer her, to share with her and could she accept it for what it was? Or was it not enough? She would, in the future, be giving the advice of Helen Bryce, who said is what he’s willing to share with you better than not having him in your life at all. If she was satisfied with what he is willing to share with her, it meant she was willing to pursue an intimate relationship with him. Now that was an entirely different subject.

Pursuing a relationship with Clark was something Lana had never taken on herself, although Chloe claimed she had in the past. Her feelings for Clark had strengthened over the past years, ever since she had visited him the first time in his loft. The feelings at first were platonic, because of her relationship with Whitney. Clark had been the boy next door that she could confide in. They’re relationship had deepened and they were becoming incredibly close, even with the limited amount of information Clark was willing to share.

Lana could remember the late nights they had stayed up talking in his loft. They would discuss everything to nothing and sometimes not say a thing for hours. They felt comfortable in each other’s presence. It was the kind of relationship where you could sit in silence for hours and have a feeling like you just had a very meaningful conversation. It was definitely a unique quality to have in a friendship.

The last time they had talked in his loft was just last night, on the issue of Clark seeing of Clark seeing the “all together” side of Lana. It was the same day that Clark had pulled Lana out of the river. She was amazed at his ability to arrive to places right when she was in need, which seemed to happen a lot. They’re big talks seemed to come after Clark had done something miraculous, such as save her life.

Clark definitely had a hero quality about him and had a knack for saving lives. From meteor freaks such as bug boy to Tina Greer, twice, to circumstances such as the tornado. There were many circumstances that Clark had dug her out of, but the tornado had confused her the most. Clark had been at the high school dance with Chloe and Lana had just dropped off Whitney at the bus station almost ten miles away. The chronology of what happened seemed blurred. She remembered driving and a mailbox hitting her windshield. She veered off the road and crashed into a fence. Getting out was a dumb idea because it took all her strength to get back in, which was also a dumb idea. She waited to get sucked up into the tornado when she saw Clark standing a hundred feet to her side. She screamed his name, wondering one moment what he could possibly do, and the next he was huddling over her saying everything would be okay. Waking up from an unconscious state, she found herself in a hospital.

Clark baffled her.

A horn blared, waking Lana from a semi-conscious state and she realized she had stopped in the midst of a turn to which she was entering her neighborhood. She blushed, not that the other driver could see her but because she realized what had caused the distraction.

Clark.

Through the past: the tried relationships, his playing the role of hero and even his inability to open up to her, she was still unable to define her exact feelings for Clark. They were the best of friends, because, next to Chloe and maybe even before her, Clark was her closest friend. She knew she felt something, but what?

It wasn’t until the picture of him and Chloe came into her mind that she truly knew how she felt. Lana remembered watching him and Chloe hook up, right before Mr. Fordman’s funeral, and in the Talon. It was painstaking, but she could not figure out why. It was a mixture of jealousy and confusion. She knew Clark had feelings for her but when he and Chloe…it just made her feel like she was losing him. Whenever she saw him with another girls, it actually made her jealous, for a weird reason. And that was because she wanted herself to be the only girl he needed. It was weird and it surprised her. Clark and Chloe had a bumpy relationship after the school dance, but Clark had always felt more comfortable talking to Chloe. That was really upsetting because even though they had all those deep conversations in his loft, he would never confide in her first about the really important stuff. He always went to Chloe first with his really big problems.

It was then that Lana established how she felt about Clark and it was unquestionably love.

Now Lana was sitting in her parked car on the driveway of the Sullivan house, where she was living and the people who had more than willingly provided a home to her when her aunt moved to Metropolis. The girl whom she knew was also in love with Clark and who was afraid to express her feelings because it scared Clark. Lana was in the situation where all she had to do was say something to Clark and he would become a part of her love life.

Lana’s heart was jumping, pounding through her chest as she thought about Clark. He wasn’t going anywhere, what did she have to worry about? She knew that if she kept putting it off she would lose him forever.

It was dark now, and the rain had let up. Lana still hadn’t removed herself from her car.

Then it hit her. Tomorrow was Clark’s birthday. There had to be a way to interlock the two subjects; her new establishment of emotion and his birthday. What could she do?

Lana finally got out of her car and shut the door behind her. She walked to the garage and through the door leading into the house. The door led to the kitchen, where she saw Chloe sitting at her laptop, typing furiously. Lana smiled in spite of herself, some things never change. Chloe grinned as she looked up.

“Back so soon?” Chloe teased. She was right, it was already nine o’clock. To Lana’s surprise, Chloe stood up and said, “I need to go to the library. They close in an hour and I only have a limited amount of time to do research.” She began to pack up and said one last thing, “Don’t wait up.” She grinned and headed out the door.

Lana sighed, it was a good feeling to be home alone. She needed it before she could go through with her plan. She decided she would bring Clark a cake and surprise him right before midnight, even if it meant waking him up, which she highly doubted. One, it wasn’t a school night and two, he had to write a speech for Lex’s wedding and he had, no doubt, already began hours ago.

She slid her jacket off her back and laid it over a chair. She pulled out a recipe and began her baking. It was not something she did a lot of, but knew how.

Hours later, after making the cake, it being very small, small enough to fit in a box that fit in her palm, she brought it up to her room. It was only ten o’clock. She had a little time to kill before she would head over to Clark’s. She walked over to her closet and rummaged though it. She didn’t want it to be too casual and not like she had planned it.

She pulled on a red shirt that stopped at her waistband and a pair of jeans. She wished she still had her meteor rock necklace to wear also, but she didn’t and for some reason it didn’t seem right.

At this time she heard Chloe walk in and engage in a conversation with her father. Her dad had no idea she had gone to the library and was expressing his feelings of worry. Chloe groaned and ran up the steps and into her room, shutting it softly behind her.

It was only a matter of time now, before she would go to Clark’s. Every minute made her twitch with anxiety and happiness. It was a joy she had not experienced in a while, although there had been plenty of happiness in the past, this was more a feeling of giddiness. It was the feeling Clark gave her that one day with his kiss of confindence.

Hardly believing it was eleven thirty, Lana packed up, carrying her package in one had and sticking matches in her pocket. She opened the box and placed five candles inside, preparing to light them when she got there. She quietly opened her door, left the light on and shut it with cautiousness. She slipped quietly down the stairs and out the garage door and into her car. She drove away with as much silence as she could, which was not very good.

She arrived at the Kent Farm fifteen minutes later and softly let the engine out on the side of the house by the barn. The lights in the house were off and she caught her breath. Looking towards the loft she let it out when she saw the light on. Lana walked inside and towards the stairs. As she was walking up them she could hear the soft groan of Clark’s deep voice and then a crumpling of paper. She was walking up the last couple steps when Clark looked at her.

“Lana! What a surprise! What are you doing out so late?” Clark closed his book and set it down.

Lana took the last step and kind of crunched her shoulders together, as a habit and replied, “I should be asking you the same thing.” She held the box out in front of her, but not in a motion as if handing it to Clark.

Clark smiled and said, “Oh…I have to write the speech for Lex’s rehearsal dinner. I’m not doing so well I suppose.” He looked at the box and raised an eyebrow, “Am I supposed to guess what’s inside?”

Lana looked at the box and then back and Clark, “No. Your supposed to close your eyes.” She made sure he had his eyes closed, but when she thought she saw an eye flutter she said, “Don’t peek!” And he made an innocent look and covered his face with his hands. She carefully took the small cake out of the box and stuck the candles in. Then, removing the matches from her pocket she lit them all and put out the match. Carefully again, she picked up the cake and held it out in front of her. “Okay,” she said and Clark opened his eyes. A shocked look came over his face, Lana quickly said, “Now I know that it’s not your birthday for another three minutes, but I thought I’d surprise you.”

The look on his face was not pleasing, he stood up. “You did.”

Lana’s heart sank, “I take it not in a good way.”

Clark walked over to the window of the loft and turned around with one hand in his pocket. The other hand went out stretched, as it usually did when he talked. “It’s just that it’s not really my birthday,” he paused and glanced at his feet, “it’s just a day my parents picked out for the adoption papers.”

Lana had never realized that, but it made sense how it could be painful to him. She walked over to him, with the cake still in her hands and held it up farther when she stood directly in front of him. “Maybe some of us want to celebrate the day you came into our lives.”

To her relief, Clark smiled and loosened up. “I never thought of it that way.”

She held the cake out towards him and said, “Go ahead, make a wish.” He didn’t take the cake right away and said, “I’ve been wishing for the same thing ever since I was five.” Lana looked into his eyes, she asked, “And now?” She had no idea what he had been wishing for, not knowing something that he hadn’t gotten since he could think logically.

Clark took the cake from her and set it on the coffee table, next to his books, then turned back to her and held her hands. “And now…she’s standing right here in front of me.”

Lana’s heart skipped and her head started to float, she watched him as he closed the distance between their lips and she closed her eyes. They met halfway and he wrapped his arms around her waist, she let her arms rest on his shoulders. He was kissing her with that passion again, the kind that she had imagined but never knew he possessed. The only thing different was that he wasn’t assertive. His kisses were soft, but meaningful and he was exploring her mouth. She let everything go and kissed him back.

This is what she wanted, and they had waited so long to get here.

~The End~

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