Ways To Know Your Mall Santa Was Crazy





Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're goin' down, punk!"

Keeps going on about how the New York Times should publish his 35,000 word list of who's naughty and nice.

Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to have never worn white gloves or shiny black boots.

Right before souvenir photo is snapped, he whispers, "This year, you ain't gettin' squat!"

When kids say, "My daddy says you're not really Santa," he responds with, "He's not really your daddy."

That snowy beard? Nothin' but nose hair.

While it's admittedly a nifty trick, blowing smoke rings out of his tracheotomy hole is just scaring the kiddies.


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