UTOPIA NOW
[Oh, and all the good lines were written by Robert Bielak - all the bad ones were written by me]
~~
It�s dark out here in Maryland
In Baltimore in fact
The Armory of the National Guard
Is now under attack
The truck�s arrived, it�s pulling up
They�ll score, they have no doubt
They signal them, the coast is clear
Two guys then clamber out
They�ve got ten minutes for this job
Steal missiles for their backer
They�ve found them in the second row
They�re Stingers, they�re for Sacker
Billy then briefs Lee and Fran
�Leprechaun is missing�
The last time he did this to us�
A belly dancer he was kissing�
�It was in Morocco wasn�t it?�
Lee asks, �No� says Billy �In Tangiers�
Francine smirks at �Another Lee Stetson!�
�Just cool it, will ya� Lee then sneers
�This case was simple, or so I thought�
The group�s called new Utopia�
He just set out to infiltrate it�
For the group is a cornucopia�
�The leader, he supports tax reform
He really is loudly outspoken
Peter Sacker�s his name� Billy tells them
�But there are no laws yet he�s broken�
�So why not send a rookie out?�
�Amanda�s who I�m sending�
I just want you to go with her�
A hand is all you�re lending�
Lee�s face is pained just at the thought
But Billy says �She�s fine
The target�s in the Virginia hills
She camped there all the time�
�I�ll bet she was a bluejay, Lee�
Fran laughs at his assignment
Lee�s grin is forced, he smiles at her
He�d plan his chance, at her he�d vent
Amanda packs her picnic stuff
The basket�s huge, and girly
She writes her family a note
�I�m on a job, back early�
Amanda is prepared you see
She�s a Jun�r Trailblazer
She has their maps, and manual
So nothing here will phase her
�Some twine, a compass and a knife�
Lee says �Now are you done?�
�A waterproof match� �Only one?�
�A good scout needs just one�
�The road�s not on this map� says Lee
But Amanda just smiles
�Just ask me� she says, Lee looks blank
He thinks �this lady riles�
�Go on, ask me� she repeats
�To get the Trailblazer�s map�
She�s smug as he then asks for it
He�s feeling such a sap
She lays it out on the Jeep�s hood
Then at the map he peers
But just like that, a magic trick
His map just disappears!
Lee sarcastically talks to her
He wishes that he�d torn her�
Off a strip about this job
She remembers then, �Cobb�s Corner!�
Lee�s puzzled now, what does she mean?
�Oh, it�s a general store�
They know what�s going on �round here�
For 50 miles or more�
At Sacker�s camp he�s pleased with them
But Hollis he seems down
He wonders what is going on
His questions make them frown
�Can we trust Hollis?� Sacker says
�I think so, just wound tight�
�Don�t you care what is going on?�
�Not if the price is right�
Our team arrive at Cobb�s Corner
Once there, something it crashed
The husband�s hiding out the front
With his wife he has clashed
Lee asks the man for help but he says Lee should ask his wife
She�s in the store, and throwing things at anything in sight
Lee�s just about to try to get Amanda to go in
Before he can, she interrupts, �Stay by the car? You�re right�
Resigned, Lee goes into the store
As Amanda�s amused
Another crash, boy that was close
Only counts in horseshoes!
Meanwhile, outside a Trailblazer
Arrives upon the scene
He gives her info that they need
Her eyes have got a gleam!
At Sacker�s place a guard he stops
Their progress, pulls a gun
Their cover fails to get them in
But not yet are they done
Back at Amanda�s house the boys
Are rushing, in a tiz
Cleaning spilt milk up with the note
They won�t know where she is
Lee parks the Jeep, A grabs her bag
That�s Sacker�s place Amand�
As they head off to look around
Aw look, Lee holds her hand
They sneak over to a big barn
They make it, they�re not seen
They even find a ladder there
To get in there, they�re keen
Lee tries to break in, but he can�t
The knife he needs to cut
She�s up the ladder in a flash
With her hand upon Lee�s butt
Oops, that was real embarrassing
She thinks. There�s no reaction
That we see though, so that�s a shame
Lee just gets on with the action
B tells Fran that he has some news
About Sacker�s past actions
A convention when he pulled a gun
But they hushed up the reactions
Sacker spent six months inside
A mental institution
And their inside man�s burned out too
It�s not good for B�s constitution
�So things look worse now� Francine states
�And Lee�s out there alone�
With just a housewife to help him�
�Francine, stay by the phone�
They�re in the barn now with the arms
And computers right and left
Anti-aircraft guns and radar too
Of ideas Lee�s bereft
They find a map of DC here
With some buildings indicated
And Xs marked all over it
Looks like tax reform�s abated
Out in the woods, they stop awhile
Holding hands, they take a rest
When Amanda finds the safety cap
Off a rocket, Lee�s impressed
�They�re power lines!� Amanda cries
�On your radio, there�s static�
�We�ve got to get back to Billy quick�
There�s a click of an automatic
Under orders, Hollis searches Lee
Finds the gun, but keeps his mouth shut
�He�s clean� he says so they head back
To Sacker � You know, he�s the nut
They�re still holding hands when they arrive
Amanda grabs her back pack
When they look inside, they remove some stuff
Then they lock our guys up, in the back
Once alone they make their escape plan
Their agent�s face, Amanda clocked
�Is our trouble big or is it average?�
But the door it�s securely padlocked
Just then Hollis comes in, and there�s intros
But Amanda can give no codename
When they try to find out what is happ�ning
Hollis won�t play along with their game
Sacker comes in for interrogation
�We�re just hikers� says Lee, worth a try
�We�ve found cameras and stuff in your vehicle�
�We�re film-makers, document�ry� Lee lied
As Lee turns on the charm, he�s convincing
�Your tax reforms, boy they could last�
Innovative, they�re the best this century�
�Where were you, in my political past?�
Sacker goes to check up on their story
Meanwhile in their cell they�re left to stop
As the bad guys all leave, �manda asks Lee
�Does his elevator go to the top?�
Back at home Dotty looks for Amanda
As Buck fixes their stereo
�Did your mom leave a note for us, Jamie?�
�I don�t think so, didn�t see one, no�
As Lee studies the map, �manda�s rocking
�Lee you know, mother worries �bout me�
�Are you trying to tell me that you�re scared?�
�Yes� �I am worried myself, now let�s see�
As Lee rubs her hand, he�s decided
�We can�t trust Hollis to help us out�
But I�m sure if we can reach that penknife�
Then I�ll get us out, I have no doubt�
Back at IFF, Fran takes a phone call
It is Sacker, he�s checking on Lee
Billy�s worried �cos Lee missed his check-in
�Send in backup if he fails 6.30�
Using all of their laces Amanda
Ties a trailblazing knot to her shoe
Then together they throw at the table
But the first time they don�t make it through
Lee is tetchy, �bout missing the penknife
But the second time makes it. What flair!
As he gives her the knife, she is helpful
�Use the tweazers� she says �You�ll get there�
�Though he now believes in their cover
And Hollis he urges them freed
Sacker orders their murder, but quietly
In the woods, Hollis must do the deed
Lee is finally able to free them
And they�re leaving but Hollis walks in
So Lee knocks him out cold, then leaves him
�To validate his cover� Lee grins
The plan is to start off Predec 2
By attacking the pylons around
Then the President is choppered out to the hills
To the White House that�s built underground
To avenge an old grudge is the theory
By making the President dead
�The film people, they�re gone, they jumped Hollis!�
�Better find them, and quick� Sacker said
As the bad guys all start to go searching
Lee and �manda in a truck they�ve hid
As he gives her the codes, and he hotwires the truck
In which they will make their escape bid
Under hot pursuit Amanda uses
The CB, reaching Baby Moon
As she gives him a message for Billy
She begins to feel impending doom
�We�ve got to turn back, there�s a problem�
Up ahead of us, I can�t think how�
Yes I do, it dead ends in a pond, now I know�
As they sit in the water, what now?
On the back of a truck now they�re chained up
Nervous, Lee holds A�s arms as they leave
But with Hollis appointed executioner
They may just yet get a reprieve
At the office Billy�s hosting top brass
But they don�t quite believe in the man
�Cos messages from �Gear Jam Granny�
Don�t make for a convincing plan
�One of my best sent the message�
And they obviously were under threat�
But the message said comms were in danger�
On Lee Stetson, I�m willing to bet�
�If there�s any chance there could be danger
To the Joint Chiefs of Staff or the Pres
We must instigate Predec 3 right now
If we don�t there could be a right mess
Hollis stops the truck and then he tells them
That he is in over his head
Sacker has revenge plans and that�s all that he knows
In fact he thinks that he�s off his head
As he unlocks their chains in the back of the truck
The bad guy arrives on the scene
�Make it look good� says Hollis, so they can escape
Lee then hits him, the bruise will be seen
L&A jump away from the truck and escape
But there�s no time to go for the keys
When the bad guy arrives he�s not fooled by the show
He disarms Hollis, he�s really not pleased
In a Jeep of her own Francine hunts them
Of their agents she finds little trace
�Just keep looking� says Billy �We know they are there�
�It�s a hundred square miles� What a case!
So they�re chained arm to arm as they run through the woods
And they argue about where to go
As Lee heads one way off to the highway he goes
�manda stops him, she yells to him �No!�
�To the swamp� she suggests, �And it�s that way�
�But the highway is there� his reply
�Well the trucks won�t be able to follow us there�
With no choice, he is forced to comply
So they head for the swamp � there�s a problem
As they go either side of the tree
He is forced to go back and go her side
He�s frustrated with her, poor old Lee
Through the woods they continue on running
Round the trees, then they do it again
Only this time she swats him to make him go back
His enthusiasm�s starting to wane!
Sacker wonders why they didn�t follow
But the baddy says he has the key
So they won�t get so far while they�re chained up
He underestimates �manda and Lee!
Dotty�s really concerned for Amanda
And for her Buck he has some bad news
�She�s probably run off, or cruising a bar�
But D doesn�t share Buck�s sordid views
Now it�s dark in the swamps and they�re wet through
�Let us try to find somewhere to dry�
But although Lee he figures they�ve lost them
There are truck loads of bad guys nearby
With her waterproof match she�s a whizkid
And the fire it�s already alight
She�s so cold they must huddle together
And they�ll have to stay here for the night
As Lee puts his arm around Amanda
And she cuddles against him, there�s fear
Lee is feeling so guilty for how they first met
But she doesn�t blame him � boy, he�s near!
�It isn�t your fault and you know it�
I�m an adult you know, and you see�
I knew there were risks and I took them�
But without them, no guts, no glory
Lee he smiles as he comforts Amanda
�It�s not over, and we might be missed�
�You always find the silver lining�
�It�s no business for a pessimist�
Then the music it gets all dramatic
�If we don�t make it, Lee� He says, �Hey�
�There is something that I want to tell you�
Then she pauses, oh what will she say?
�Lee, I am really glad to have known you�
Is that it? Is that all that she�ll say
�Well the same goes here� is Lee�s answer
Then he pats her shoulder � what a day!
�There are many things that you have taught me�
Over 2 years, we�ve worked hand in hand�
�I always thought I was a burden�
All the time on her shoulder his hand
�No I have learned a lot about people
And also myself, I�m aware�
As he tries to make himself more comfy
He is hit by a cramp, sitting there
As he looks at Amanda, their eyes meet
And their world stops, for seconds they stare
In each others eyes, no one is moving
Then as their lips touch, �Over there!�
Flamin� heck, now oh why did that happen?
In the swamp things were just getting good
Yes for us, but for them, too, they were getting close
Now they�re back on the run in the wood
They have found them and fire, Sacker stops them
�You�ll wake the entire neighborhood�
Just stand guard so no one escapes us�
With so many men nobody could
With the bad guys taking no more action
Till it�s light in the morning, they�ll wait
Lee says �Amanda, we ought to rest now�
We�ve a long day ahead, and it�s late�
As they lie down Lee cries out �Amanda�
He is annoyed, and she shushes him so
�I like to sleep on my right side� Lee, he says
�I like my left� Lee can only say �Ohhhh!�
In the morning we�re out at a pylon
And we�re planting explosives, you see
But as they explode, the image we view
Comes from some ancient and dodgy movie
Back at IFF it is reported
That another pylon has come down
Billy says �You should now wake up POTUS�
That should take us to Predec 2 now�
They evacuate Reagan from DC
Francine�s still in the same clothes, you see
And white slacks are really not the best thing
For searching for Amanda and Lee
�I�ve had to reschedule the program�
They�re at Predec 2 now� Sacker said
�Hollis and those two are witnesses so-�
�By the end of the day, they�ll be dead�
Out on the trail, they�re now using
Amanda�s string to set a trap
Meanwhile Fran has arrived at Cobb�s Corner
For some info to fill in the gap
It�s the �blazer again, he�s so helpful
As she shows them the pics in the file
�Over there, she went that way� he tells her
And Fran thinks it�s enough? Gotta smile
Now we�re back with the bad guys they�re chasing
Lee and A, who are starting to tire
They are on their last legs and they�re flagging
To stay alive�s all they aspire
They have found a fence that says �No entry�
And immediately our man can tell
It�s the President�s underground White House
He�s amazing! I can only say �Well!�
Now he knows the whole plan, that is stunning!
The explosions, diversions you see
To get the Pres up in the air, and out here
Anti-aircraft fire to kill him. Oh, gee!
At the same time Lee finds a piece of fence
To unlock their chains as they hide
Overhead the bad guys they are running
And this time it seems they were not spied
No, I�m wrong, one has come back and sees them
But Lee grabs him before he can shoot
Then the major league baddy sets the booby trap off
Smacks him from behind, oh, what a hoot!
Now Lee and Amanda both have guns
And two bad guys that they�re aiming at
When they won�t give up A shoots into the sky
So they quit then, they are not having that
For some answers Lee questions the bad guy
And the toothpick is still in his mouth
With a little threat he tells Lee all that he wants
On a clearing, not far, in the South
Lee heads him back out to his truck now
And Amanda she nods to agree
In her John Wayne style like we�ve seen her before
The bad guys unable to flee
Francine�s finally caught up with Hollis
And he�s figured out what�s Sacker�s plan
As they hear many choppers approaching
Lee is here and he�ll take out the mad man
�Cover him� Lee instructs to his partner
He goes after Sacker, and he loads
Up his gun, then he shoots it at Sacker
Where he�s standing, there, Sacker explodes!
The explosion it distracts Amanda
And the bad guy thinks this is his chance
But Amanda�s too quick and she stops him
But she does have time to take a glance
As the whirlybirds see what is happ�ning
And Francine she arrives on the scene
She�s with Hollis, they capture the bad guy
Now it�s over, A�s much more serene
Amanda points up at the choppers
They are leaving, the pilot�s no mug
It�s the end of the story, well this time
There is just time to get one more hug
On the phone A is calling her mother
�I just couldn�t call you, you see�
For there were no phones out where I was�
She isn�t convinced, not Dotty
Then Lee appears, Amanda hangs up
�You know how to give a good time�
Says Amanda to Lee as they�re leaving
And they talk about food, not in rhyme
In the corridor, Amanda stops him
As they face each other in the hall
Her hand automatically reaches, then stops
Near his chest, but it doesn�t quite fall
�It�s about last night� starts Amanda
�I know what you mean, I believe�
We were just two cold people who were seeking warmth
�Not exactly� she says, then she leaves
images courtesy of Swoopes