ALWAYS LOOK A GIFTHORSE IN THE MOUTH
[Original episode written by Peter Lefcourt]
~~
Lee here is giving a briefing
About the royals of Zakir
Usually wives they are silent
On oil rights, that�s what we hear
Recently there have been demos
Following them on their tour
Lee is providing a slide show
It�s business so he is dour
This is Penelope Squire now
She�s the Princess of Zakir
Since she married the crown prince there
She�s in this picture, right here
Comes from New Hampshire, does Penny
She�s outspoken on oil rights
Also in the pic, her husband
He�s Razer Khan. Is that right?
Fran then pipes up how she could have�
Married royalty, a prince
When Billy asks why she didn�t
�Country was too small,� she hints
The Princess hasn�t returned since�
�79 - their marriage
Their tour often hassled by the�
Pan Arab Unity League
More pictures now of their visit
One guy is looking away
B will get Photo Recon to�
Look at it, ID today
In Paris, an attempted hit
They don�t want a repeat here
There could be Middle East problems
�Stetson�s in charge,� Billy�s clear
�What of the Princess?� asks Francine
�Hates the protection,� Bill says
�Runs off without saying where to�
Their security must guess�
�She is a social reformer�
Wants to see a local school�
A tour by somebody �normal��
They can use Amanda � Cool!
Francine offers to frump up for�
This assignment. Lee says no
They prefer someone frumpier
A�s first answer was �No� though
�She is getting picky is she�
About assignments she takes?�
�Be nice,� says Billy to Francine
�I�m nothing but.� For pete�s sake!
�I hope I�m not interrupting?�
�Yes,� says Fran, �No,� says Billy
�Come on in� Billy tells her. �The�
House is divided,� says Lee
Lee sees her ankle all strapped up
�What is that?� �Oh, nothing much�
I was demo�ing the hook slide�
Hooked the wrong way, or some such�
�At first I thought nothing of it�
Then the color went all weird�
�Was it so terribly painful?�
�I�m sure it was� B�s look seared
�Can you handle an assignment?�
Billy asks A. She says, �Yes!�
She is so enthusiastic
�I am so proud, sir,� she says
�Out of my graduating class�
I became the only spy�
Though, if they did I would not know�
Francine and Lee, they both sigh
Then A comes out with a good one
�Shouldn�t I know how to hit?�
Look at Lee�s face, also Billy�s
They are funny, I�ll admit
A asks about knowing codes then
Or training in self defense
�We need you as a civilian�
We�re up to our ears in agents�
�You would no longer be useful�
Fran says, �If someone found out�
Lee jumps in �This way it�s great, �cos�
For weeks they�d torture, get nowt*�
�That�s really good to know, thank you�
Amand� does not sound convinced
�Would it compromise my use though�
If I stayed alive?� B winced
Lee�s tone is mocking Amanda
�Shouldn�t I know how to hit?�
�Billy agreed to some courses�
I feel better, I�ll admit�
�She�s here,� says Lee but A�s nervous
�There was no time to revise�
How to behave with a princess�
�No hitting.� She says, �oh, please�
Lee introduces Amanda
Who isn�t sure what to do
The Princess holds out her hand then
�Hi,� she says. �How do you do?�
Then the Princess sees Amanda�s�
Leg all strapped up, she�s concerned
Amanda says that, �It�s nothing�
Just from an odd way she�d turned
�Where would you like to start, Princess?�
�Up to you� Penny then says
�The kids are really excited�
They�ve never met a princess�
Meanwhile, elsewhere there�s a man who�s
Putting together a gun
Back at the school, Penny�s flagging
School meals AND earthworms � what fun!
Penny retreats to the restroom
Lee says someone must go in
Guard the princess while she�s in there
Amanda�s the one to win!
Penny is stood with her shoes off
As A comes in she�s upset
Her feet hurt and she is tired
�Call me Penny� �Don�t you fret�
Lee�s getting jumpy outside the�
Ladies room; he knocks the door
�4 o�clock�s the presentation�
A baby buffalo�s yours!�
�It�s the first time that I�ve been back�
To the US since I left�
Didn�t know how much I missed it�
Of home I have been bereft�
�Can you imagine you�re guarded�
By men with guns at your door?�
�No,� says Amanda, �Not really�
Outside, Lee�s pacing the floor
�Someone will have to go in there�
No one seems keen, so it�s Lee
Charges in fast, with his gun drawn
�Do you have lip gloss?� Funny!
Back at Maplewood, D�s urging
A to dress for the party
Of the princess, now she�s going
�Oh, why did she invite me?�
�But the neighborhood play�s tonight.�
�Amand�, she said you�d be back�
In time; I don�t understand you
Enthusiasm, you lack!
200 women were fighting �
For the chance to go instead�
Your PTA they chose you though
Taffeta?� A shakes her head
�I hate the taffeta,� A says
Painting the set of the play
Now Jamie�s leaves they are falling
He�s a tree, see. What a day!
�The lavender dress, will that do?�
A asks, �No, not with your cast�
�What about the low cut black dress?�
�That�s great!� says A, D�s aghast
�Maybe a shawl, I can find you?�
D says, �To cover you up�
�Mom it is me should be nervous�
She hugs Jamie, picks him up
Lee�s shocked as Amanda pulls up
�Oh my God,� he says, perplexed
�Amanda, it�s a closed party�
But at her smile he is vexed
�Your assignment now has ended�
He says, �back there, at the school�
�No,� she says. �I was invited�
She smiles and drives off, so cool!
On a roof a sniper�s waiting
Pigeons behind him are loud
As Pen� and Razer greet their guests
The birds fly off in a cloud
This tips Lee off to the sniper
Grabbing the pair, then he dives
On to them, the shooter misses
Lee�s in pursuit, sniper drives�
His truck at Lee, but Lee escapes
Sadly the guy gets away
Agency guy says �Endicott�
Roofing are working today�
�Find out all you can about them�
Lee asks Penny how she feels
Razer wants them to meet their guests
His public face then, it heals
Lee tries then to stop the party
Razer says �No, must go on�
These fanatics they can�t beat us
With love for him, they are one
Lee can�t believe what they�re doing
Shakes his head, they walk away
His eye�s caught, a black-dressed beauty�
Is standing alone �cross the way
Lee�s now on another mission
Walks by A, says nothing though
As he climbs the stairs behind her
She turns around, say hello
�Well they let you in?� she�s mocking
�Don�t look at me when you talk�
She turns back, looks at the party
Thinking �he can be a dork�
�I find it hard to speak like this�
She says. �You�ll get used to it�
Don�t want the Princess to know that�
You�re one of us� So that�s it?
Amanda smiles at what Lee said
�Gee, I�m one of us� That�s cool
�I know I�ll regret saying that�
Not really, �cos she�s no fool
A can�t believe they are acting
Like nothing happened at all
Lee says �I thinks R is crazy�
From his perch, sat on the wall
�You must keep list�ning, Amanda�
If Penny says anything�
A then turns round, Lee says �Don�t look!�
Oh he is condescending
�What if she says nothing?� A asks
�There�ll be nothing to report�
Then he leaves while A is talking
Doesn�t give a second thought
�So should we rendezvous later?�
Sync our watches?� A wonders
No response �cos Lee he has gone
�That man has the worst manners�
R and P approach Amanda
Penny�s told him A was kind�
Today, but A just shrugs it off
There�s a �Howdy!� from behind
So Bo Johnson makes his entrance
Shaking their hands as he goes
Penny�s not real glad to see him
Around R, Bo�s arms he throws
R intros Bo to Amanda
Boy is he a �Mr Smarm�
A laughs politely at his joke
Is that supposed to be charm?
As R and B go talk bus�ness
A is still wringing her hand
�He nearly broke it,� A tells P
Showing concern then Amand��
Asks �Are you okay?� to Penny
�I�m trying hard not to be�
A wet blanket, just because of�
Attempted murder, you see?�
�I would have canceled the party�
A says. P says �Show no fear�
Is Razer�s motto� but really
She is so scared, it is clear
�Is Bo Johnson a fam�ly friend?�
A�s spy instincts kicking in
P says he�s out of B westerns
A nods, that�s where she�d seen him
�He was in oil a long while back�
He knew R�s dad pretty well�
In Zakir, Bo was the first one,
American who could drill�
A observes �R is fond of him�
Why don�t they talk face to face?
Penny�s not a spy too is she?
Sorry, now back to our place
I don�t think that Penny likes Bo
�He�s getting rich off Zakir�
R looks to him like a father�
He�s a snake� That�s pretty clear!
Razer and Bo they are talking
�You are too controversial�
If you weren�t, you would be safer�
�Oh, please!� says R to his pal
�I know I�m old school, in Texas�
Women say nothing at all�
That�s how it should be.� R argues
�Penny is smart, it�s her call�
�Maybe you could just listen less�
Papers say she wants me out!�
Bo is getting angry at R
�But Penny just has her doubts�
�My people want their resources�
To benefit them at home�
And keep the profits in Zakir�
Boy it�s hard writing a po�m
�Why can�t P be like your mama?�
�Locked in her room every day?�
�Well, at least she then was happy�
Bo says. He�s after his way
�Penny and I at the moment�
Having a hard time, you see�
Just then Lee�s standing behind them
�Has to be who she will be�
�Excuse me,� Lee says, interrupting
�Bo, this is one of the best�
�So you�re protecting the royals?�
Lee�s suspicious, �That�s right, yes�
�Have you seen the Princess, Highness?�
�Why?� �Oh, it seems she has gone�
Lee says, he is looking sheepish
This agent�s not having fun
Maplewood, it is Thanksgiving
On stage Philip, a Pilgrim
Amand� and Penny are watching
Jamie�s a tree, in green trim
�Didn�t you say you were going?�
A asks Penny, ��fore you left?�
�No they make such a fuss always�
Of privacy she�s bereft
A points to Jamie on the stage
�He�s eight, that tree over there�
�The Pilgrim�s my son too, Philip�
Amand� nods, proud to be here
Then there�s a loud noise behind them
The kids and parents look �round�
Gasping. Some angry men enter
Arabs, the princess they�ve found
Penny sighs and looks embarrassed
Bodyguards all round the room
Dotty is looking bewildered
Penny begins to feel gloom
�I�m sorry, I am, Amanda�
The kids raise their hands in the air
Penny is chagrined at what has�
Happened, that they�ve had a scare
Later, at Stetson�s apartment
It�s IFF, a phone call
�Willis Parker is calling you�
�Patch him through,� Lee says, sits tall
�Is this Stetson?� a voice asks him
�We must meet, by an alley�
�Not unless I know the topic�
�Assassination, you�ll see�
�Tell me more� Lee says. �I cannot�
Need protection� �Don�t panic�
�You just be there Mr Stetson�
Hangs up, Lee hears the phone click
Puzzled Lee stares at the phone then
And the music it�s of pending doom
Lee sits forward, there�s a close up
So much, we can�t see the room
It�s pretty over the river
Lee waits for A on the bridge
A runs up carrying groc�ries
Already making her pitch
�I�m really sorry �bout last night�
Lee straight away checks his watch
�She wanted to come to the play�
Least we talked� �What have you got?�
�I told you all over the phone�
Exasperated is Lee
�I can�t arrest Bo for being�
A snake� �I know, I�m sorry�
But that is what Penny called him�
Not a smuggler but a snake�
It�s so hard to spy upon her�
For Lee, Amand� does take the cake
�She thinks I�m her friend,� Amanda
Says, �And her marriage may fail�
She�s so lonely I�m invited�
To Bo�s ranch� Well, that�s the tale
Suddenly Lee is int�rested
�That�s good� he says, sees the op
�I think it�s awful,� she tells him
But as a cover it�s tops
�You�re going of course?� �Not really�
�Why?� he asks her, he�s confused
But he does not like her answer
She�s got stuff, he�s not amused
Jamie has little league and then�
Philip - a birthday party
Me I�m allergic to horses
This is frustrating to Lee
�Amand, your position�s unique�
Intently Lee stares again
�I don�t like spying on friends, though�
One final card he plays then
�You want your friend to be happy?�
�Yes,� says Amanda �I do�
�Would she be if she was widowed?�
That�s a low blow, Lee, for you
�Do you know what then can happen�
Lee continues, �at these times?�
Have you heard of Devil�s Island?�
�Yes� she�s says, she�s now resigned
Lee knows he�s won and he�s smiling
�I rest my case,� he�s so smug
A�s not too happy about it
And the hole herself she�s dug
�Okay, okay, so I�ll do it�
I�ll buy some allergy pills�
�You�ll be fine� Lee says, he�s leaving
Already she has the chills
She twirls then, �Where are you going?�
�We may have now caught a break�
Some guy called Parker, a meeting�
I�m off there now for his take�
�He sounded scared on the phone though�
Meet�s in twenty, gotta go�
�But if he comes through, I stay home?�
Lee points and firm says �Just go!�
A�s not impressed at Lee�s answer
Why she�d stay home, he can�t see
�My diefenbachia plant dies�
You�re gonna feel so guilty�
At the meet Lee�s in the alley
Wears a white coat now, does he
Smoke is pouring from the building
Tries to get in, tries to see�
Opens the door, calling Parker
The backdraft hits and Lee dives
Actually, looks like a stuntman
An explosion, the fire thrives
There�s a paxed scene now, I�ve heard it
I�ll just do the best I can
Penny is at Amanda�s house
Dotty she does what she can�
To entertain her royal guest
�More tea, your highness?� she says
�Oh just call me Penelope�
It�s weird to be called �highness��
�I understand you,� says Dotty
�Sort of, as Homecoming Queen�
My cape and crown set me apart�
So I do know what you mean�
Dotty returns to the kitchen
A and P laugh as she goes
�I hope I�m ready for the ranch�
A says, she�s nervous, it shows
�It�ll be great,� Penny tells her
With some cookies, Dotty�s back
Penny takes one, Dotty rambles
In talking, D has the knack!
�I couldn�t believe Amanda�
Going to Bo Johnson�s farm�
I saw his film in nineteen, oh�
Never mind� She has such charm
Dotty brings a pen and paper
Gives them to A, �If you see�
Bo Johnson, get him to sign this�
To please her mom, she agrees
�Just put �to my friend Amanda��
�To my friend Dotty, I mean�
�I�ll tell him� A tells her mother
Rolls her eyes then at the scene
Dotty then says, �With best wishes�
And a big Texas howdy!�
They all laugh, �And don�t forget, dear�
It�s with a Y not I-E!�
Out on the ranch now, Bo�s riding�
Then he stops, dismounts the horse
Runs to Earl and then he shows him
Blows a whistle. Why? Because�
He�s trained the horse something special
The horse runs, stops, then he rears�
At the edge of a steep cliffside
All �cos of something he hears
Earl and Bo look down the hillside
At the death that could ensue
Then they laugh at Parker�s demise
Looks like they caused that death too!
Earl thinks he turned �cos he failed when�
He shot at Razer that day
Thought that the feds would be safer�
If he came clean, right away
Cigar in his mouth, Bo�s smiling
�Disloyalty, Earl, I hate�
Then gives the horse something to eat
Looks like it�s not down to fate
Near the ranchhouse there is singing
As someone sings �Home on the Range�
Cowboys and Arabs are eating
Together, looks really strange
Amanda comes into picture
Has a small dish in her hand
As she sits with her back to Lee
It seems like this meet was planned
�My chilli�s better,� he tells her
She looks round, �What?� she then asks
�Do not look at me� said firmly
�Pretend you have other tasks�
�Oh,� she sighs and begins eating
�What are you doing?� says Lee
�Eating.� Lee questions her, �eating?�
�So how was your meeting, Lee?�
�Parker�s no longer a witness�
Boots only survived the blast�
�Oh my gosh!� exclaims Amanda
It was all moving so fast
�How are you doing?� he asked her
�Her husband�s us�ly around�
So she�s not really been talking�
So far there�s no more she�s found
Lee then stands up and walks forward
Passing A as she sits there
Tells her that she should be careful
Ah, so you see, he does care!
Penny steps into the picture
�My chilli�s better,� she says
She�s smiling, watches Lee leaving
A looks at her, tries to guess�
What it is Penny is thinking
P then says, �He�s kinda cute�
A just plays dumb and asks �Who�s cute?�
Agent Stetson, P�s a hoot!
Penny then sits with Amanda
�See he wears no wedding ring?�
�Oh no� Amanda says quickly
She can see where P�s going
�No, I could not get involved with�
Someone who works in that line�
It�s too dangerous, to my mind�
�Danger can be fun, I find�
Meanwhile Lee�s talking to Francine
On the phone, got some intel
But she wants appreciation
An IRS date from hell
�I don�t want the gory details�
She says �That�s tough,� on she goes�
�No wine, cheap food, it was awful�
Lee�s amusement at F shows
Rudolf�s the guy from IRS
Knows about Endicott Roof�
Johnson Oil is their main owner
But in itself that�s no proof
Then Lee says, �What about Recon?
Did they ID the guy who�
Had his back turned in the photo?�
�No,� says Francine, �have no clue�
Except the guy does have dandruff
And is wearing cowboy boots�
These guys are weird how they dress�
Cowboys but also in suits
Billy then comes in his office
�Was that Lee?� he asks Francine
�Would you explain something to me?�
F asks B. What could she mean?
�I am a seasoned profess�nal�
Stuck here looking at the files
Schmoozing with the IRS guy�
Billy looks at her and smiles
�Meanwhile, Amanda, the rookie�
Is out there with movie stars�
Royalty, too, and Lee Stetson�
It is obvious this jars
�So, Billy, you can explain it?�
Francine asks. �I guess,� B says
Standing he polishes his mug
�Because that�s the way life is�
Back at Bo�s ranch, a band�s playing
And Bo is singing along
A western song they�re performing
The Arabs don�t like this song
When he�s finished, Bo throws his hat
Into the air as he yells
The audience cheers, he thanks them
And then a story he tells
Razer�s father Hassim Ahmed�
Khan was a dear friend of mine
And as a token of esteem
I have a gift here this time
For the princess, it�s from my heart
Penny�s agape at the horse
Which bows it�s head to the princess
She must accept it, of course
In a cabin Penny�s worried
Pacing as Amand� looks on
�I know Bo and what he�s up to�
Working to get his deal done�
�Why don�t you just relax, enjoy�
Honeysuckle and moonlight�
�You know when we were first married�
We were together so tight�
�We scandalized the whole country�
Now he�s in meetings all day�
Mostly with Bo and oil leases
Now we argue night and day�
Maybe that�s not the issue, though�
�Maybe it�s not, if you could�
Just be Penny and Razer then�
It might help, it might be good�
When things weren�t good in my marriage�
Amanda smiled as she said
�I had this, erm, sexy nightgown
Giggling �Really?� Pen said
�Yeah, my ex-husband Joe liked it�
I�d wear it when things got bad
He had this mulled wine concoction
Things would get better, I�m glad�
�I didn�t think of a nightgown�
Not a sexy one at least�
�It could be better without it�
They laugh, enjoying the tease
Lee then appears at the window
A�s eyes widen as she sees
Penny turns then and she sees him
He exits quickly, P�s pleased
�Oh-ho� says Penny to Amand�
�This is not an oh-ho thing�
�Oh,� Penny says. �No I mean it�
I don�t know what he�s doing�
�No?� P asks. �No� says Amanda
�Honeysuckle and moonlight?
Do they ring a bell, Amanda?�
Oh, this is one of those nights
�You�re imagination�s vivid�
�At least I should have some fun�
Hearing about the fun you have�
Letting me know what you�ve done�
Amanda�s head is in her hands
�Oh no,� then Amanda said
�So why don�t you just get started�
Loudly says, �I�m off to bed�
P drops her voice to Amanda
�Just be discreet� A just sat
�And then you should give �er the gas!�
�Does Princess Di talk like that?�
Then there�s a knock at the window
A motions Lee to come in
Lee opens the door, leans forward
�Hi� he says, has a big grin
�I thought I was undercover?�
�You are, why? Anything wrong?�
A sighs, �That was a performance�
At the window, came on strong�
�Penny thinks that we are having�
An oh-ho-ho-ho,� she says
Lee then sits down and he�s staring
�A what?� Oh, Lee can�t you guess?
�You heard me, P thinks that you�re cute�
�I am cute� �Not that cute, though�
Then Lee gets back down to bus�ness
Oh yeah, the plot � here we go
�The guy who tried to kill Razer�
Worked for Endicott Roofing�
They got the job through a low bid�
Following, Amand�s nodding
�Well, Endicott is a tax-loss�
Comp�ny owned by a comp�ny�
That�s owned by another comp�ny�
Guess who owns that company?�
Amanda shrugs, so he tells her
�Johnson Oil� �Bo?� Not a gaffe?
Lee puts on a Texan accent
�Yes, ma�am� �Oh boy� They both laugh
�Meanwhile what did you come up with?�
�Penny is trying to stop�
Renewing of Bo�s oil leases�
Pressuring R from the top�
It seems not all�s well with Johnson�
Bo�s wells are coming up dry�
Look in the flowers, there�s a mike
Earl and Bo listen, that�s why
�The princess doesn�t like Johnson�
She says they should not renew�
At that Johnson has heard enough
They�re really evil these two
At the cliff�s edge they are working
Bo and Earl to fix the edge
�You�re sure the cliff it will give way?
When the horse stands on the ledge?�
�I hate to lose a horse like that�
To shut her up, it�s the price�
Takes a cigar from Earl�s pocket
These guys are not very nice
Amand� and Penny are waiting
A man brings out her new horse
�Good morning ladies,� Bo calls out
�Good morning� A says, of course
As she mounts, Bo says �He�s handsome�
�Beautiful,� she does reply
�You�re sure that you won�t come with me?�
P asks A, then A says why
�With this cast it would be tricky�
And I�ve an allergy, too�
�That�s a shame,� Bo says, ��cos Stetson
Could stop worrying �bout you�
At that, P and A trade glances
�What�s that?� A says, seems confused
�Doesn�t the princess know that you�re-�
�I�m what?� Bo then does accuse
�That you�re a G-man�G-lady�
You work for Stetson, don�t you?�
A tries not to look too guilty
Penny�s betrayed, �How could you?�
�I thought you were my friend, Amand��
But I�m just a job it seems�
�No� says A but Penny rides off
Angry at A she just steams
Amanda calls out as she leaves
Angrily turns round to Bo
�I�m not a G-man,� she tells him
Doesn�t argue, he just goes
Meanwhile Lee�s searching the quarters
Of those who work the ranch here
Finds Parker�s bunk when he�s spotted
Puts cover story in gear
What�s it with Lee and his �son� here?
Talking �bout Timmy again?
But this time there are no triplets
P�r�aps it�s just I am insane?
Lee starts to ask the guy questions
Outside, for a horse, A looks
There�s only one whose not eaten
El Diablo � just A�s luck
The wrangler�s concerned about A
And her leg there in a cast
El D�s a horse with a spirit
This ride, it might be her last
Earl then arrives at the bunkhouse
Lee still is rambling on
Dandruff and Parker, Earl listens
Wondering what can be done
El D is tacked up and ready
About A, can�t say the same
Nervously she gets a leg up
Nearly falls off, what a game!
�Did you see where the princess went?�
�That way� Her heart it does pump
As A digs her heels in D�s flanks
Over the fence El D jumps
Back with Lee, still asking questions
About their cowboy-ing skills
Branding and shooting and Parker?
�A good shot,� the cowboy spills
Taking the hat, Lee is leaving
The bunkhouse, opens the door
Comes face to face with Earl who then
Punches Lee onto the floor
Out riding her horse is Penny
Amanda she comes racing through
And to some comedy music
Penny comes to the rescue
A says she needed to explain
About last night, about Lee
�Please will you be open-minded�
Gets off the horse nervously
Earl points a shotgun at Stetson
Who talks as he takes a chair
Then the boss steps into picture
�Cos it seems Johnson is there
Bo has a prior engagement
�Sort out Lee and A later�
Besides you shouldn�t have worried�
Target was never Razer�
P and A they walk the horses
And Amanda�s rambling on
�I felt awful �cos what Bo said�
Spying�s just not what I�ve done�
�And this thing with Mr Stetson�
Even my fam�ly don�t know�
He won�t look at me when he talks�
Looks away, won�t let it show�
�Amanda, stop, I believe you�
�You do?� �Yes, I understand�
Let�s get you back now, Amanda�
Put�s the grey�s reins in her hand
�He is so gentle Amanda�
You�ll have no trouble, you�ll see�
Doubtful she mounts up, P�s laughing
On her face you can see glee
�I just feel silly, Amanda�
Telling you to go for it�
With Mr Stetson, together
And you�re already a hit�
P thinks they�re having an affair
�Huh?� A�s amazed, she can�t see
How P made that wise conclusion
But we understand, don�t we?
As A and P are heading back
�That�s good, you�re doing great�
Behind the trees a car pulls up
It�s Bo, he�s lying in wait
In the bunkhouse Lee�s with Earl still
Trying to talk his way out
Earl lets slip about the stallion
And the ledge, leaves Lee no doubt
That�s when Lee jumps him to escape
Lunges forward as he rolls
Fights with Earl, they punch each other
Then from the window he bowls
Landing, Lee runs to take Earl�s jeep
Which is just sitting, so near
As Lee drives he spots Amanda
Can�t see Bo yet, are they clear?
Bo is still watching the women
Into the whistle, he blows
At that the white horse he bolts then
Penny chases as he goes
�Whoa!� yells Amanda, she hangs on
Lee steers the jeep towards them
Without slowing, Lee he dives from�
The jeep, the horse heads for him
Just before Lee the horse rears up
That�s when I saw something odd
For the white horse has a bridle
Until he rears then there�s not!
Trust me, I�m really not kidding
They used stock footage I think
20 frames that�s all, you see it?
Standing right there on the brink?
The jeep it flies over the edge
Exploding as up it�s blown
Meanwhile Lee grabs for the horse and�
Helps Amanda to get down
�That was just too close,� says Penny
They all look over the ledge
�It�s just�just� waves her arm forwards
Standing right there on the edge
A smiles, �At least I did not sneeze�
�You and horses don�t get on�
Laughing she hands Lee the reins �Here�
Lee says. �No, you here,� she�s done
Back at the stables, there�s Penny
Stroking that lovely white horse
Then she walks up to Amanda
Standing there upon the porch
Penny says, �Now it�s all over�
We can have that vacation�
�I think Razer will like Disney�
Awkward, they smile, now it�s fun
�Make sure you write me, Amanda�
�I will� �I�m dying to know�
How things work with Mr Stetson�
�It�s not what you think, you know�
For a long time they�re just staring
Then they hug to say goodbye
�You take care of yourself, Penny�
�You, too� is Penny�s reply
Amanda�s tearing, you can tell
Lee is so smug when he gets there
Smiling �She said I was cute�
�She�s under lots of pressure�
�Amand�, you�re still undercover�
You shouldn�t look right at me�
A sighs but she turns, looks forward
Waves goodbye then to Penny
�Does Penny know that you�re with us?�
�No, but a reason�s required�
Why you were outside my window�
�What did you say?� Lee enquired
�I didn�t come up with any�
Story, she�d one of her own�
The car it leaves, they are waving
I think their cover�s not blown
�Okay, what did she come up with?�
�She thinks we�re having a thing�
Lee then turns to look right at her
�A thing?� He�s disbelieving
And that�s when A gets her own back
Says, �Eyes, straight ahead Scarecrow�
He does, then smiles and looks back then
The smile on his face it grows
[*For those of you who haven�t read a good dictionary lately, �nowt� means nothing, zip, zero, nada. I know it�s a Black Country (central England industrial area named in the Eighteenth Century for all the pollution) expression but don�t know if it�s gone any farther.]
images courtesy of Swoopes