LOVEJOY:
UP THE HUDSON
EXT. STANSTED AIRPORT - RUNWAY - DAY.
We see a jet plane land. The jet’s tires SCREECH as it
touches the runway.
INT. STANSTED AIRPORT - ARRIVALS - PASSPORT CONTROL - DAY.
We close in on a man’s legs walking slowly through the
passport area. The man is carrying a small brown suitcase. He is wearing jeans
and a distinct pair of boots. We do not see the man’s face as he stops by
passport control.
A miserable-looking, PASSPORT OFFICER takes a passport from
the man. The passport officer looks at the man then at the passport.
PASSPORT
OFFICER
Have a
good day, Mr. Lovejoy.
The man in the boots is an older-looking Lovejoy. He has grown
his hair long and his tan is darker as if he had spent a long time away from
England in a warmer climate.
The passport officer hands his passport back. Lovejoy walks
off. He does a double take and quickly shakes his passport at the passport
officer.
LOVEJOY
Oh,
it’s just, Lovejoy.
Lovejoy walks off.
CUT TO:
EXT. FELSHAM GARAGE’S - DAY.
We see a green Ford Fiesta pull up at the entrance to
Lovejoy’s garage. Lovejoy gets out after hitchhiking home.
LOVEJOY
(to
driver)
Thanks
for the lift.
Lovejoy shuts the door and the Ford Fiesta drives away.
Lovejoy walks up to his garage and unlocks it. He pulls open the garage door
and we see his cream coloured A-reg. Datsun.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
(to
himself)
Oh,
it’s good to be home.
Lovejoy climbs into the Datsun. We hear him try to start the
engine. Lovejoy turns the ignition four times. It still won’t start. The
battery is dead. Lovejoy lets out a scream of annoyance.
CUT TO:
EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
We see Lovejoy driving the Datsun then park beside the
closed gates of Felsham Hall. He gets out, walks up to the gates, and notices a
padlock and chain on them. He reaches down to the padlock looking confused.
Lovejoy looks up at the hall and remembers the good times he spent there.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
Lovejoy is at the steps of Felsham Hall with Tinker. Eric
and a few of his rock group friends are behind Lovejoy.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
Lady Jane walks through a hedged archway holding two glasses
of champagne. She approaches Lovejoy who is lying on the grass in front of
Felsham Hall. They smile at each other.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
Charlie Gimbert is annoyed with Lovejoy and shakes his fist in
annoyance.
CHARLIE
I’ll
get you, Lovejoy.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - EXT. PUB GARDEN - DAY.
Lady Jane and Lovejoy are sitting in the pub garden enjoying
a quiet conversation together. Lovejoy reaches across and slowly kisses Lady
Jane on the lips.
LOVEJOY
Be
happy, Jane.
Lady Jane strokes Lovejoy’s nose and whispers.
LADY
JANE
You
too.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - INT. CAVENDISH AND SON - AUCTION ROOM - DAY.
Charlotte is performing an auction when Lovejoy prepossess
marriage.
CHARLOTTE
Eight thousand
pounds...
(a
beat)
Going
once...
(a
beat)
Twice...
Lovejoy interrupts.
LOVEJOY
(calls
out)
Marry
me?
Charlotte is taken back.
CHARLOTTE
(after
a beat
of
consideration)
Yes...
(a
beat)
Gone.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLASHBACK - EXT. FELSHAM CHURCH - DAY.
We see Tinker running toward the church. He is out of breath
as he approaches Charlotte in her wedding dress, and the congregation.
TINKER
(out
of breath)
It’s
Lovejoy.
SAM
Yes?
TINKER
He’s
been abducted.
SAM
What?
CHARLOTTE
(angry
inside)
Oh,
please!
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
Lovejoy looks uneasy as he takes one last look at Felsham
Hall before getting back into his Datsun and driving away.
CUT TO:
EXT. TINKER’S MOBILE HOME - DAY.
Lovejoy drives up and stops by Tinker’s mobile home. He gets
out and looks toward the doorway of the mobile home. Tinker is standing in his
dressing gown and black beret.
TINKER
(overjoyed)
Lovejoy!
LOVEJOY
Tinker!
Both smile and hug each other with great friendship.
TINKER
Oh,
the joys of the day have come
early.
LOVEJOY
(looks
at his
watch)
It’s
nearly six in the evening.
TINKER
Every
day is early to me old friend.
LOVEJOY
It’s
been a long time, Tink.
They shake hands with vigor.
TINKER
Seven years
to be precise. I dare not
ask
where you’ve been.
LOVEJOY
Don’t
ask. Because I won’t tell.
TINKER
It’s
so good to see you, old chap.
LOVEJOY
And
you.
TINKER
And
dare I ask if you missed the old
major.
LOVEJOY
(points
his
finger
at Tink)
Corporal
in the catering core and
don’t
you forget it.
TINKER
Come
in to my humble abode and drink
until
the sun sets. Or rises whichever
cometh
first.
Lovejoy and Tinker enter the mobile home.
CUT TO:
EXT. TINKER’S MOBILE HOME - NEXT MORNING.
Lovejoy staggers from the front door. Tinker is up and
dressed already. He doesn’t look as if he has touched a drop
of alcohol. Lovejoy looks hung over.
TINKER
Morning,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
What
time is it?
TINKER
It’s
morning.
LOVEJOY
What
time?
TINKER
Time
is unimportant to a man of my
age.
It’s only what you do with each
day
that matters.
LOVEJOY
What
were we drinking last night?
TINKER
(happy
with
himself)
Oh,
that was a special concoction of
my
own. It was left to me by an old
army officer
buddy I once knew.
Reginald
Johnson was his name.
LOVEJOY
(feeling
his
stomach)
Whatever
it was, it didn’t agree with
me.
TINKER
It did
last night. You drank enough to
floor
a wild bore.
LOVEJOY
You
were drinking it too.
TINKER
After
years of hard labor your insides
become
accustom to a drop of the old
liquor.
LOVEJOY
What
was it made from?
TINKER
(not
listening)
What?
LOVEJOY
This
concoction?
TINKER
(strokes
his nose)
That’s
the secret I swore to keep
and
keep it I will.
(after
a beat)
There’s
breakfast if you want it.
LOVEJOY
(looks
ill)
You
have it.
Tinker pulls out a small whiskey flask.
TINKER
I’ve
got my breakfast here, thank
you.
Lovejoy looks at Tinker with amazement.
LOVEJOY
You're
drinking, at this time?
(looks
into
camera)
He’s
got a stomach of iron...
(feels
his
stomach
in pain)
Unlike
mine...
Lovejoy rushes to Tinker’s bathroom. We hear him being sick.
Tinker takes it all in his stride. He sips some more of his whiskey.
CUT TO:
INT. LOVEJOY’S DATSUN - DAY.
Lovejoy is driving along a one-lane back road. He still
looks hung over. Lovejoy looks into the camera.
LOVEJOY
(to
camera)
It’s
good to be back. Got some old
friends
to catch up with.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAVENDISH AND SONS - DAY.
Lovejoy stops his Datsun by Cavendish and Sons. But the sign
isn’t there anymore. A sign reads PETE’S HOME FARM.
LOVEJOY
(to
camera)
Or
maybe not.
(to
himself
sarcastically)
Pete’s
home farm!
Lovejoy drives away.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE WHITE HART - DAY.
Lovejoy drives up and parks in front of The White Hart pub.
A sign outside reads FAMILY PUB - GOOD FOOD SERVED ALL DAY. Lovejoy gets out
and looks at the sign sarcastically.
LOVEJOY
(to
camera)
Well,
they’ve got that wrong. They
never
ever served good food here, it
was
awful, even his crisps were two
months
out of date. You knew that
because
when you opened the packet
you
found they were all soggy.
INT. THE WHITE HART - MAIN BAR - DAY.
Lovejoy can’t even get inside the pub before being confronted
with dozens of families with their children and babies in push chairs. He is
bumped by an annoying woman with a push chair. Lovejoy smiles sarcastically.
ANNOYING
WOMAN
Why
don’t you look where you’re
going?
LOVEJOY
Sorry.
Lovejoy is trying to reach the bar, but every time he turns,
he is confronted by another woman with a push chair then a small child and his
scruffy-looking father. Lovejoy seems to be continuously saying sorry to them.
He finally reaches the bar and pulls out a twenty pound
note. He calls out to the barman.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
(points
to pump)
Give
me a pint.
BARMAN
(stuck
up)
Are
you eating today, sir?
LOVEJOY
No,
I’ve just come in for a beer.
BARMAN
Do you
have a table, sir?
LOVEJOY
Not
yet. I’ll have it at the bar.
BARMAN
Did
you book a table for lunch?
LOVEJOY
No, I
don’t want lunch. I just want
one of
your cool refreshing beers,
please.
BARMAN
(sarcastic)
I’m
sorry, sir. We don’t sell alcohol
to
anybody off the street. We are a
licensed
restaurant and you have to
be
seated for lunch to have one of
our
cool refreshing beers, sir.
LOVEJOY
You’re
kidding me, right?
(the
barman
shakes
his head)
All I
want is a beer.
(is
annoyed)
Can’t
I even have a beer in this
place?
The place where I always used
to
drink.
BARMAN
Not
anymore, sir.
LOVEJOY
But
what happened to the previous
landlord?
BARMAN
Moved
away in ninety-seven. A lot of
things
have changed around here since
then,
sir.
LOVEJOY
(annoyed)
Yes,
I’m beginning to find out.
(goes
to swear)
Fu...
BARMAN
(interrupts)
...watch
your language. There are
children
in here.
Lovejoy turns around and looks at the children, and women
with screaming babies and push chairs.
LOVEJOY
(annoyed)
Yes,
the children.
(sarcastic)
We
must always think of them, first.
Lovejoy leaves the pub.
CUT TO:
EXT. TINKER’S MOBILE HOME - DAY.
Tinker is slouched in a reclining deck chair half asleep.
Lovejoy drives up and stops. He gets out and looks in a rage. Lovejoy paces up and
down in front of Tinker.
LOVEJOY
What
is it about this place, Tink.
Has
everything changed?
TINKER
I did
warn you, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
First
I went to Cavendish and Sons and
find
it’s run by some wally called
Pete
and now it’s a bloody home farm.
TINKER
Sorry,
old chap. I should have warned
you
about that.
LOVEJOY
And
then I went to The White Hart.
Tinker laughs.
LOVEJOY
You
knew?
TINKER
I
thought that one would be better
for
you to find out.
LOVEJOY
Oh,
you did, did you.
TINKER
Oh, come
on Lovejoy, it is funny.
LOVEJOY
Funny?
The place is run by some moron
who
wouldn’t serve me and overrun with
families
and their annoying children.
TINKER
You
are a father too, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
That
was thirty years ago, Tink.
TINKER
You
never stop being a father.
LOVEJOY
It ends
the day you become their bank.
Too
many withdrawals and not enough
deposits.
TINKER
Sit
down, Lovejoy.
Lovejoy becomes calmer and sits in another deck chair
besides Tinker. Tinker hands Lovejoy a can of beer.
LOVEJOY
What’s
the story with Cavendish’s?
TINKER
No
story.
LOVEJOY
I
thought without me around maybe
they’d
folded.
TINKER
(smirks)
I
don’t think so, Lovejoy. They
probably
did better without you and
your
late payments.
LOVEJOY
I
always paid up.
TINKER
Sam
just packed up and moved.
LOVEJOY
Where?
TINKER
I
don’t know.
LOVEJOY
Yes
you do.
TINKER
Oh, I
promised I wouldn’t tell.
LOVEJOY
Tell
me what, Tink?
TINKER
Where
he’s gone.
LOVEJOY
Where?
Tinker is reluctant.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
(annoyed)
Where?
TINKER
New
York.
LOVEJOY
(shocked)
New
York!
TINKER
Charlotte
bought him a place to
retire.
LOVEJOY
Why’d
you have to bring up that
name?
TINKER
(sarcastic)
What
am I supposed to go around saying.
Look,
Lovejoy. There’s the woman you
jilted
at your own wedding.
LOVEJOY
I
didn’t jilt her. You know what
happened
to me, Tink. It was beyond my
control.
TINKER
You
could have come back and married
her.
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
I was
taken to Jersey.
TINKER
Only
asking, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
When I
came back, you’d all gone.
(a beat)
Did
she ever write?
TINKER
All
the time.
Tinker gets up and walks to his front door.
LOVEJOY
What
do you mean all the time?
TINKER
All
the time, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
To me?
Tinker points inside his mobile home. Lovejoy follows him
inside.
CUT TO:
INT. TINKER’S MOBILE HOME - LATER DAY.
Lovejoy is sitting at Tinker’s small dining table. The table
is covered in dozens of letters from Charlotte. Tinker is sitting opposite him.
Lovejoy is reading some of the letters.
LOVEJOY
Some
of these are dated five years
ago,
Tink.
TINKER
All
the mail from Lovejoy Antiques
was
redirected to me. Well, care of
The
Red Bore at Sudbury.
LOVEJOY
I
never got any of these.
TINKER
How could
I? I didn’t even know where
you
were? None of us did.
LOVEJOY
Right.
TINKER
(inquisitive)
Where
were you, Lovejoy?
LOVEJOY
I told
you before, Tink. Don’t ask.
TINKER
Come
on, Lovejoy. I did keep all these
for
you in the off chance of you
returning
one day.
LOVEJOY
Now
here I am and I thank you.
TINKER
(annoyed)
You
can be a blasted ignorant fool
sometimes.
Tinker gets up and walks to his bedroom. Lovejoy looks down
at the letters. He calls out to Tinker.
LOVEJOY
Tinker,
when was the last time she
wrote?
TINKER
(OS)
It’s
been about six months.
LOVEJOY
Don’t
you think that’s odd?
TINKER
(OS)
No.
LOVEJOY
She’s
been writing to you once a month
for
six years and then suddenly the
letters
stop.
TINKER
(OS)
Well, I
never did reply to any of them.
Lovejoy gets up with a handful of letters and walks to
Tinker.
LOVEJOY
You
didn’t reply to any?
TINKER
I
never ever was a good letter writer.
Maybe
she finally was miffed with me.
LOVEJOY
Miffed
with you! I’m miffed with you
already
and I’ve only been back a day.
Why
would it take her six months to
realise.
TINKER
Sorry,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
Yeah,
who’s the blasted ignorant fool,
now?
Lovejoy looks angrily at Tinker.
CUT TO:
EXT. LIONEL’S VINYL RECORD STORE, DUNMOW - DAY.
Lovejoy enters the record store. We see hundreds of rows of
old vinyl records. Lovejoy pretends to be a customer looking at the vinyl
records.
Eric Catchpole appears from behind a counter. He is wearing
a leather jacket and looks his usual self. Lovejoy looks away from Eric. Eric
approaches Lovejoy unaware of his presence.
ERIC
Can I
help you?
LOVEJOY
(disguises
his
voice)
Yes,
I’m looking for an antique vinyl
Black
Sabbath LP.
ERIC
(confused)
Err,
I’ve never heard of such an LP.
Lovejoy turns around and greets Eric.
LOVEJOY
Are
you sure, Eric?
Eric is surprised and hugs Lovejoy.
ERIC
Lovejoy!
LOVEJOY
The
very same.
ERIC
(speechless)
What?
Where? How?
LOVEJOY
Don’t
even complicate yourself, old
friend.
Lovejoy takes a look around the record store.
ERIC
Where
have you been?
LOVEJOY
Where
haven’t I been.
(a
beat)
You’ve
done pretty well for yourself,
Eric.
ERIC
What?
Lovejoy nods his eyes.
ERIC
This
place? Oh, this was left to me by
my uncle.
It’s mine now.
LOVEJOY
Lionel?
ERIC
Hold
on, how did you know my uncle?
LOVEJOY
Hold
it, Eric.
(points
to the
shop
sign)
Lionel’s
vinyl.
ERIC
Right,
I see.
Lovejoy ponders before considering his next move.
LOVEJOY
How much
do you make in a day, Eric?
ERIC
I do
all right?
LOVEJOY
How
much?
ERIC
(stutters)
Twen...Thirty...Fifty.
LOVEJOY
Come
off it, Eric. It’s not exactly
rush
hour around here.
ERIC
All
right, not much?
Lovejoy pulls out one hundred pounds and counts it in front
of Eric. Eric’s eyes grow wide at the sight of the money.
LOVEJOY
Doing
anything today, Eric?
ERIC
Actually,
I was just closing.
Lovejoy hands Eric fifty pounds and puts the other fifty in
his pocket.
LOVEJOY
(smiles
sarcastically)
Half
now, half later.
Eric looks annoyed.
ERIC
Lovejoy!
CUT TO:
EXT. TINKER’S MOBILE HOME - DAY.
Lovejoy drives up in his Datsun and parks beside Tinker’s
home. Eric and Lovejoy get out of the Datsun. Tinker greets them both with a
glass of sherry in his hand.
TINKER
Lovejoy
and Eric!
ERIC
Tinker!
Eric shakes Tinker’s other hand.
TINKER
How’s
it going sport? I heard you are
running
that old record store down
in
Dunmow.
ERIC
Yes, Tink.
Actually Lovejoy was just
looking
over the premises. I think he
wants
to buy.
LOVEJOY
Fat
chance, Eric.
TINKER
Couldn’t
even sell an LP to Lovejoy,
ah,
Eric?
ERIC
No, it
wasn’t that.
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
Eric!
Sell me something!
ERIC
(annoyed)
Ah,
you see, I could’ve sold something
to
you, Lovejoy. But I knew it was
you
and I’m not the type of person to
rip an
old buddy off.
LOVEJOY
Holding
out for a better buyer I dare
guess.
Eric looks confused.
TINKER
And
the mist descendth. You certainly
haven’t
changed, Eric.
LOVEJOY
Unlike
my old stomping ground.
Lovejoy walks over and points to the deck chairs.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
Anyway,
sit down you two, I’ve got
an
announcement to make.
Tinker looks glum.
TINKER
The last
fellow I heard those immortal
word's
from was shot in the morning
by a
sniper.
LOVEJOY
What?
TINKER
Freddie
Gregson, he was an old war
chum.
LOVEJOY
Are
all your friends ex-military,
Tink?
TINKER
Yes, I
suppose they are. He was shot,
after
he made the announcement he
was
deserting.
LOVEJOY
Well,
I’m not deserting and I’m not
getting
shot in the morning.
(points
to the
deck
chairs)
So
please, if you don’t mind.
Both Eric and Tinker sit down reluctantly.
TINKER
Oh, what
is it, Lovejoy? You’re not
dying,
are you?
Lovejoy gives Tinker a horrible look.
ERIC
Come
on, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
(raises
his
hands)
Okay,
I want to open Lovejoy Antiques
again.
Eric and Tinker look at each other with little interest.
TINKER
Is that
it?
LOVEJOY
Yes.
TINKER
I
thought this was a serious
statement.
LOVEJOY
It is.
TINKER
I
always knew you were going to start
up
again, Lovejoy. It’s in your blood.
LOVEJOY
And I
want you two back.
Eric and Tinker suddenly come alive.
ERIC
What?
TINKER
I’m
retired.
ERIC
I’ve
got my record store. I can’t
just
give up that for you,
Lovejoy.
TINKER
He’s
got a point.
LOVEJOY
So you
don’t want to?
TINKER
It’s
not that we don’t want to, is
it
Eric?
ERIC
Oh,
no. We’d do anything for you.
LOVEJOY
What
is it, then?
TINKER
Lot
fifty-two, Lovejoy.
(gets
up)
I’m an
antique.
ERIC
And I
can’t leave the business
alone.
Lovejoy raises his hands to Tinker and Eric.
LOVEJOY
Okay.
You’re right. Why would I
expect
anything from you two. After
all, I
alone brought you two up.
TINKER
Be
reasonable, Lovejoy. You didn’t
bring
me up. I’ve always been a
Tinker.
LOVEJOY
Look,
I don’t expect you to come back
forever.
Just help me for a couple
of
weeks. That’s all I’m asking. Two
weeks
so that I can find some new help.
It’s
not much to ask, is it.
Tinker looks at Eric and they both seem to consider the job.
ERIC
With
wages?
LOVEJOY
I’m
not made of money, Eric.
TINKER
With
wages and all meals?
LOVEJOY
You’ll do it?
TINKER
Two
weeks?
LOVEJOY
Okay,
wages and all meals for two
weeks,
but on one condition. You go
wherever
I’m going.
TINKER
For
what?
LOVEJOY
Stock
of course.
(a
beat)
Agreed?
TINKER
(smiles)
Agreed,
old chap.
ERIC
Yes,
I’m in.
They all shake hands.
CUT TO:
EXT. STANSTED AIRPORT - DAY.
We see a licensed taxi pull up and stop outside the entrance
to Stansted airport. Lovejoy, Eric and Tinker get out of the taxi. Eric goes to
the trunk and opens it. The taxi driver helps Eric with three small suitcases.
ERIC
Lovejoy,
I didn’t agree to another
country.
TINKER
Neither
did I?
LOVEJOY
Yes,
you did? I said you had to go
wherever
I was going. To look for stock.
TINKER
But I
didn’t think we’d be going to
New
York. You tricked us, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
Come on,
or we’ll miss the plane.
Lovejoy and Tinker walk off empty handed leaving Eric with
the three suitcases that he is struggling to carry.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
(turns
to face
Eric)
Chop,
chop, Eric.
ERIC
(angry)
Lovejoy!
CUT TO:
EXT. JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY.
Tinker, Eric and Lovejoy get into the back of a yellow taxi
cab.
INT. YELLOW TAXI CAB - DAY.
Tinker looks annoyed as does Eric.
LOVEJOY
What?
There is a silence.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
You’re
not still annoyed about this
little
trip?
TINKER
You
tricked us, Lovejoy.
ERIC
Yes.
LOVEJOY
Oh,
come off it you two. I thought
you’d
be glad to get away from home
for a
while.
TINKER
I know
why you’re here. I just don’t
know
why you had to drag me and poor
Eric
into it.
LOVEJOY
I’m
here to buy antiques, Tink.
TINKER
Charlotte
Cavendish.
LOVEJOY
What?
TINKER
You
can’t get her back, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
I’m
not here for Charlotte, Tink.
TINKER
Then
why are we here?
LOVEJOY
Antiques.
TINKER
There
are plenty of antiques at home
in the
mother land.
LOVEJOY
You
think I’ve come here to win back
Charlotte?
TINKER
Yes.
ERIC
I
agree with him on that one, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
Well,
I’m not.
TINKER
Oh,
it’s just a coincidence that we
are in
New York and Charlotte is too.
You
could have picked anywhere.
ERIC
Bangkok.
LOVEJOY
Bangkok!
TINKER
Eric
is right, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
(annoyed)
We’re
here for the antiques.
All three now look glum. The yellow taxi cab driver calls
back to them.
CAB
DRIVER
Say, that’s
a cute accent guys. Where
are
you all from, Australia?
LOVEJOY/TINKER/ERIC
(angry, in unison)
No,
we’re not from Australia!
CUT TO:
EXT. NEW YORK - BROOKLYN BRIDGE - DAY.
MUSIC OVER - FRANK SINARTA - NEW YORK, NEW YORK.
In a montage; we pull back high above from the yellow taxi
cab as it crosses the Brooklyn Bridge.
We see the famous Manhattan skyline and follow the yellow
taxi cab as it takes a tourist tour of the sights of Manhattan Island.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - DAY.
The taxi cab pulls up and stops in front of the famous Plaza
Hotel. Tinker, Eric and Lovejoy get out.
ERIC
We’re
staying here?
LOVEJOY
Of
course, nothing but the best for
you
two boys.
TINKER
Really,
Lovejoy? This isn’t another
one of
your games?
LOVEJOY
No
game, Tink.
ERIC
But
how can you afford it?
TINKER
Yes,
how?
LOVEJOY
You
let me worry about that.
TINKER
If
you’d told me I was staying at
the
Plaza I would have come for free.
ERIC
I
would have too.
LOVEJOY
Yeah,
but I wanted you to come on
merit,
not because of this. I needed
to
know if you were with me.
TINKER
We’re
with you, Lovejoy.
ERIC
One-hundred
percent.
LOVEJOY
Good.
Now you book us in and I’m
giving
you until the morning to
sample
the delights of New York.
Then
it’s hard to work.
TINKER
This
is a strange town to me.
LOVEJOY
Tink,
there are more bars on Manhattan
Island
then there are in the whole
of
East Anglia.
TINKER
(looks
pleased)
Really.
LOVEJOY
(points
down
the
street)
Just walk
one hundred yards and you're
in
Tink heaven.
TINKER
(looks
up
the
street)
I
don’t know. There are more people
in
proportion to the square mile,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
And
more alcohol being non-consumed.
TINKER
(happy)
I’ll
give it a try.
Lovejoy jumps back in the taxi cab and talks through the
open door window.
ERIC
Where
are you going?
LOVEJOY
Business.
I’ll meet you for breakfast
at 10
a.m.
ERIC
Where?
LOVEJOY
Here.
Lovejoy waves to the taxi cab driver and he drives away.
INT. YELLOW TAXI CAB - DAY.
CAB
DRIVER
Where
to?
LOVEJOY
Cavendish
and Sons.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAVENDISH AND SONS 12TH STREET - DAY.
We see an expensive-looking building with marble frontage. A
sign reads CAVENDISH AND SONS.
INT. CAVENDISH AND SONS - AUCTION ROOM - DAY.
We see Charlotte Cavendish standing at a plinth conducting
an auction. She has cut her hair short but still looks incredibly beautiful.
CHARLOTTE
(into
microphone)
Now,
we come to lot seventy-four our
final and
star attraction. The
legendary
lost Constable painting.
It
depicts a rural English, East
Anglian
setting. The lady in the
painting
is supposed to be his late
aunt.
It has been recognized by all
the
important fields.
(a
beat)
So,
shall we start the bidding at
one
million dollars.
(a
silence)
We pull back and see the entire auction room. It is neatly
arranged and has become the top auction room in New York.
There are rows of seats filled with smartly dressed dealers
and buyers. They all have card numbers to bid with.
A row of smartly dressed staff is sitting at a long table
taking telephone bids. Somebody bids from the rows of seats.
CHARLOTTE
One
million, thank you, sir.
(a
beat)
Do I
hear, one million-one?
(a
beat)
Thank
you, madam.
(a
beat)
One
million-two.
(a
beat)
One
million-three, four, five,
one
million-six.
(a
beat)
The
bid is at one million-six on
the
floor. Any more bids? One million
-six
with you, sir.
(a
beat)
Going.
(a
beat)
Going.
A staff member takes a telephone bid.
CHARLOTTE
(points)
A
telephone bid.
(asking
how
much
with
her
expression)
The staff member raises two fingers.
CHARLOTTE
(shocked)
Two
million. The bid is at two
million.
Do I hear any advance from
the
floor?
(a
silence)
Two
million is the bid.
(a
silence)
This
item is going for two million.
(a
beat)
Going.
(a
beat)
Going.
(a
beat)
Gone.
Sold to the telephone bidder
for
two million dollars.
(a
beat)
And
that concludes the auction today
ladies
and gentlemen, thank you.
Charlotte leaves the plinth and the buyers start to
disperse.
Lovejoy suddenly appears next to Charlotte. Charlotte looks
at him and freezes. She passes out.
INT. CHARLOTTE’S OFFICE - DAY.
Charlotte is slouched in a chair. HELEN her secretary is
trying to revive her with smelling salts.
HELEN
Charlotte.
Are you all right?
Charlotte comes to.
CHARLOTTE
(still
dazed)
What
happened?
(fully
aware)
Wait,
I know what happened. I thought
I was
confronted by a ghost from
my
past.
HELEN
You
passed out. Just like that. I
blame the
pollution.
(points
to
outside
the
office)
Oh, by
the way there’s a guy to
see
you.
(looks
at
Lovejoy)
Look's
kind of cute. I think he’s
Australian.
Charlotte stands up and looks through her office window. She
sees Lovejoy leaning against an office table smiling at her.
CHARLOTTE
(annoyed)
Lovejoy!
HELEN
You
obviously know him then.
Charlotte storms out of her office and straight up to
Lovejoy. She looks angry.
CHARLOTTE
You’ve
got a nerve.
LOVEJOY
(calming)
Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
Coming
here after all these years.
LOVEJOY
Did
you miss me?
Charlotte raises her eyebrows in disgust.
CHARLOTTE
Did I
miss you! You son of a bitch!
Charlotte brings her arm back and punches Lovejoy across the
chin. He flies backward over an office table onto the floor. Charlotte walks
around and reaches down to Lovejoy with a look of rage on her face.
CHARLOTTE
(CONT’D)
I’ve
learned to hate you over the
last
seven years and now you come
back.
I was just getting over you.
LOVEJOY
You
didn’t have to hit me, Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
That’s
small pay back for what I
really
want to do to you. If I had
my way
Lovejoy, I’d lock you up and
throw
away the key.
Charlotte walks back into her office.
CHARLOTTE
(CONT’D)
Helen,
call security. Get them to
escort
Mr. Lovejoy off my premises.
EXT. CAVENDISH AND SONS - DAY.
Two burly-looking security guards throw Lovejoy out of the
front doors of Cavendish and Sons.
SECURITY
GUARD 1
And
don’t come back, Mr. Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
(angry)
It’s
just, Lovejoy!
CUT TO:
INT. YELLOW TAXI CAB - DAY.
The cab driver who collected Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric from
the airport has been following their movements. He watches Lovejoy get into
another cab outside Cavendish and Sons.
The cab driver watches the cab drive away then dials up a
number on his mobile phone. We do not hear the person on the other end speak.
CAB
DRIVER
(into
phone)
Yes.
It’s me, CG.
(a
beat)
He’s
just left Cavendish and Sons.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK’S IRISH BAR - NIGHT.
We see a packed pub. Irish music is playing loudly. Tinker
and Eric are sitting at the bar drinking whiskey. Tinker is served another
drink and admires the contents of the glass.
TINKER
(sounds
drunk)
Ah,
the pleasures of this fine
beverage.
Eric is completely drunk and looks across at Tinker. He can
not control his movements.
ERIC
What,
Tink?
TINKER
This
fine drink.
ERIC
It’s
no art of work. I mean work of
art.
Just drink it.
TINKER
I
disagree with you. It is a
work of
art. It’s
so fine and smooth.
ERIC
Drink
it!
Tinker gulps it down in one. Tina, a ravishing-looking,
redheaded, middle-aged girl approaches Eric and Tinker.
TINA
Hello,
there.
Eric thinks she is talking to him.
ERIC
Hello.
TINKER
Be warned
delectable lady, he’s not
a man
to be messed with.
Tina looks at Tinker.
TINA
I was
talking to you, a real man.
TINKER
(shocked)
Me?
Eric turns back to the bar with a look of refusal on his
face.
TINA
I’m
Tina.
TINKER
(kisses
her
hand)
Major
Dill, at your service.
Tina looks impressed with Tinker’s gentlemanly ways.
TINA
You’re
not from around here, are
you?
TINKER
Where
my friend Eric and I are from
is of
the most top secret information.
TINA
Did
you say, Major Dill?
ERIC
(interrupts)
Yes.
Do you know who this is? This is
only
who they based all those James
Bond
films on.
Tina looks at Eric with disgust.
TINKER
Don’t
listen to him, Tina. He’s had
too
much to drink.
TINA
(smiles
at
Tinker)
You can
never have too much to drink,
major.
Tinker lifts his eyebrows with delight.
TINKER
A
woman after my own heart.
TINA
(points
to
another
part
of the
bar)
Can we
go and talk somewhere more
quiet?
TINKER
Lead
on, fair maiden.
(faces
Eric)
When
in New York, Eric.
Eric looks annoyed until a beautiful blonde girl sits beside
him at the bar. She smiles at Eric and he smiles back.
CUT TO:
INT. PLAZA HOTEL - ELEVATOR - MORNING.
Lovejoy is alone in the lift except for the bellhop. Lovejoy
talks to us.
LOVEJOY
(holding
his
jaw,
talking
into
camera)
She
didn’t have to hit me. I know I
don’t
expect her to leap into my arms.
But I
must admit, it was a shock. She’s
got a
hell of a punch.
(a
beat)
Gave
the guys a day off. Now, it’s time
to
work for a living. I’ll give them
hell.
CUT TO:
INT. BREAKFAST ROOM - THE PLAZA HOTEL - MORNING.
Tinker and Eric are sitting at a small table eating
breakfast. Lovejoy enters carrying some brochures for auctions in New York. He
sits down.
TINKER
Where
did you get to?
LOVEJOY
Business
as I said.
Lovejoy feels his sore jaw.
ERIC
What
happened?
LOVEJOY
I
slipped.
Lovejoy gives Eric and Tinker a selection of the auctions
brochures.
ERIC
How
many?
LOVEJOY
You’ve
got four auctions each. I’ve
ringed
the items you’re interested
in.
TINKER
What’s
the budget?
LOVEJOY
Prices
are on there. I’ll settle the
accounts.
(takes
his
mobile
phone out)
Call
me on this. Here’s the number.
Lovejoy hands Tinker and Eric each a scrap of paper.
TINKER
Where did
you get that, Lovejoy?
LOVEJOY
Come
on, Tink. It’s a modern world,
now.
You can’t do business without
one.
TINKER
Blasted
masterminds. Why can’t they
keep
it simple.
Lovejoy tucks into breakfast. Tinker and Eric look concerned
with Lovejoy’s brash attitude.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - DAY.
We see a smartly, highly fashionable, office with lavish
interiors and fine expensive art on the walls. We see the back of a high black
leather chair facing away from us. We hear a distinct voice laugh. Charlie
Gimbert swings around in the chair and looks straight at us. He is smoking a
Cuban cigar and blows smoke in front of us.
CHARLIE
(laughing
out
loud)
I’ll
get you, Lovejoy. Your day has
finally
come.
He continues to laugh loudly.
CUT TO:
INT. FOCUS AUCTION ROOMS - DAY.
Lovejoy is standing at an auction room and bids for
something with his uncanny wink.
DISSOLVE TO:
MONTAGE - MUSIC OVER - UNDER PRESSURE - QUEEN & DAVID
BOWIE.
We see a visual montage of Eric, Tinker and Lovejoy at
different auction rooms around New York. They look under pressure as they bid
for antiques.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. TREBLE BAR - EVENING.
Tinker and Eric are sitting in a bar. They have fallen asleep,
lying their heads on each other. Lovejoy walks in and looks at them.
LOVEJOY
(wakes
them)
Tired
boys?
ERIC
(yawns)
Oh,
Lovejoy.
TINKER
It has
been a struggle, old chap.
LOVEJOY
Did
you get everything?
TINKER
Six
out of eight.
LOVEJOY
Did
you get the Derby sauce boat?
TINKER
As I
said, it was a struggle.
(a
beat)
There
was some tough competition.
LOVEJOY
What
about the porcelain dog
whistle?
TINKER
I got
that.
Tinker shows Lovejoy the porcelain dog whistle.
ERIC
It doesn’t
look like much to me,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
It’s
mid 19th century, worth about
four
hundred pounds or six hundred
dollars.
TINKER
I
didn’t pay that.
LOVEJOY
Three-fifty?
TINKER
Four-fifty.
(reacts
to
Lovejoy’s
look
of
disgust)
It confuses
me these blasted dollars,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
What
about you, Eric?
ERIC
Ah!
LOVEJOY
Eric?
ERIC
Not so
good, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
How not so good?
ERIC
Four
out of eight.
LOVEJOY
Four?
ERIC
(makes
his
excuses)
It wasn’t
my fault, Lovejoy. I missed
the
first two auctions.
LOVEJOY
How
could you miss them?
ERIC
I’ve
never been to New York before.
I got
lost.
LOVEJOY
Okay,
at least we’ve got some of the
items
listed.
(a
beat)
Do you
two want a drink?
Eric and Tinker look at each other seriously and seem to be
pushing their noses up at Lovejoy’s offer.
LOVEJOY
What’s
this? Major Tinker Dill
refusing
a drink?
TINKER
Me and
Eric have been discussing
things,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
(curious)
Yes?
TINKER
We have
been your friends for many
years.
LOVEJOY
Spit
it out, Tink.
TINKER
Well,
frankly we think your attitude
is
abysmal.
ERIC
Yes,
we do.
TINKER
We’ve
decided that as friends we
think
we are entitled to an
explanation.
LOVEJOY
To
what?
TINKER
An
explanation to where you’ve been
for
the past seven years.
LOVEJOY
I
can’t tell you.
TINKER
(angry)
God
damn it, Lovejoy. I may be as
placid
as a wet fish, but something’s
really
get me ratty. Friendship is
what I
thought we had. I don’t know
about
Eric here, but I feel I can not
be
your close friend anymore if you
can
not disclose this information to
me.
LOVEJOY
Tink,
I can’t tell you. Not yet,
anyway.
Tinker is angry and gets up.
TINKER
Then
goodbye. I’ll buy my own drink.
Eric gets up too.
LOVEJOY
You
too, Eric?
ERIC
I
don’t usually say this, but take a
look
at yourself in the mirror, take
a good
look because you’re not the
Lovejoy
we all know.
Lovejoy looks concerned.
CUT TO:
EXT. BROAD WALK OVERLOOKING EAST RIVER - DAY.
Tinker and Eric are hanging over a guardrail watching the
Liberty Island ferries pass by. Lovejoy approaches Tinker and Eric. He slowly
squeezes between them both.
TINKER
(watches
the
ferries)
Did
you know those ferries once used
to run
the troops in the war. Liberty
Island
and Staten Island were bases
of
some sort.
LOVEJOY
I
didn’t know you had any chums here,
Tink.
TINKER
I
didn’t, but I knew a few deserters
who
traveled the high seas to this
sanctuary.
Now look at it, a tourist
attraction
to the city that never sleeps.
There is a moment of silence.
LOVEJOY
Guys,
I’ve been a pratt.
ERIC
Really?
LOVEJOY
You
know how you both have those memories
that
you keep and treasure for yourself.
You
and nobody else.
(a
beat)
You
want to know where I’ve been for
seven
years. Well, I’ll tell you.
(a
beat)
When
you all went I had nothing left. I
know
I’m Lovejoy antiques and it’s in
my
blood to sell and buy a good bargain.
But I
felt that without you and Eric
and
Jannie and Charlotte and Beth I
had no
business.
(a
beat)
You
were the heart and soul of Lovejoy
antiques.
How could I go on. So I left.
(a
beat)
I went
home. My mother was ill and I’d
already
lost my father. I spent a year
and a
half with my mother looking after
her
well-being.
Tinker and Eric suddenly look concerned.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
I knew
with everyday, I was watching
my
mother grow older and becoming
another
day closer to death.
(a
beat)
When
she did finally pass away I didn’t
know
what to do.
(a
beat)
After
months of nothingness I suddenly
realised
what I should be doing.
TINKER
What
did you do?
LOVEJOY
(a
beat)
I did
some research into my family
history
and found out some very
interesting
things. The last five
years
I’ve been traveling all over
Europe
trying to find the answers
and
now I’ve finally found them guys.
ERIC
(sounds
stupid)
I
never even knew you had a mother.
TINKER
Everybody
has a mother, Eric.
Tinker shakes Lovejoy’s hand.
TINKER
Thank
you. But what’s this thing
you’ve
been searching for? What have
you
found?
LOVEJOY
All
will be explained.
(a beat)
You
said earlier on; something about
tough
competition.
TINKER
The
word is that a buyer is purchasing
everything
and anything at ridiculous
prices.
ERIC
Yes,
that’s right. He’s big time,
Lovejoy.
More money then sense.
TINKER
He’s
trading under the name CG.
LOVEJOY
CG?
(considers)
CG?
Where have I heard that...
(knows
who
it is)
No, it
couldn’t be! Not here in
New
York.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - DAY.
Charlie Gimbert is sitting at his desk reading the New York
Times newspaper. Charlie’s buzzer sounds. He speaks into it.
CHARLIE
Yes?
SECRETARY
(OS)
Mr.
Gimbert, there is a Mr. L, here
to see
you.
CHARLIE
(confused)
Mr. L?
The door to Charlie’s office swings open. Lovejoy is
standing in the doorway. Charlie’s secretary is standing there too.
CHARLIE
(annoyed)
Lovejoy!
LOVEJOY
Charlie,
how good to see you.
SECRETARY
I’m
sorry, Mr. Gimbert he just pushed
his
way in.
CHARLIE
(calming)
That’s
all right, Claire.
SECRETARY
Should
I call security?
CHARLIE
That
won’t be necessary, Claire.
LOVEJOY
(to
Claire)
Two
coffees, love.
Charlie points to the door. His secretary acknowledges him
then closes the door. Lovejoy walks around the room admiring the antiques
lining the walls.
LOVEJOY
(points
them out)
Charlie
Gimbert, I see you’ve gone up
in the
market.
CHARLIE
Try
your best Lovejoy, you couldn’t
even
afford one of those items, so
don’t
even make me a bid.
Lovejoy stops by a mantel clock.
LOVEJOY
A
brass four-glass mantel clock,
designed
by Adolf Loos, Budapest,
1902. Twelve-thousand
pounds.
Lovejoy moves on around the room.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
A
wheel-carved cameo glass Crocus vase,
signed
Daun/Nancy, 1900. Ten-grand.
(a
beat)
A
Queen Anne black and gold japanned
chest-on-stand,
with ogee moulded top,
18th
century, worth about four-grand.
Lovejoy moves around the room and stops by a day bed.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
This
is definitely you, Charlie.
CHARLIE
It was
a present from my wife.
LOVEJOY
Wife?
CHARLIE
(tries
to cover
himself)
I mean
my ex.
LOVEJOY
(examines
day
bed)
A
George IV ormolu-mounted rosewood
day
bed, the waved crest-rail above
a
padded back, arms and seat, the
frieze
with lappeted brass bands, on
reeded
tapering legs with brass caps
and
casters. It’s been restored but
still
worth around four-thousand.
Pure
craftsmanship.
(looks
at
Charlie)
Look’s
like you’re out of my league,
Charlie.
CHARLIE
(sarcastic)
I
always thought I was.
LOVEJOY
Now,
don’t get snobby.
CHARLIE
Why
are you here, Lovejoy? You’re a
long
way from home.
LOVEJOY
Shopping.
CHARLIE
She
won’t take you back.
LOVEJOY
Who?
CHARLIE
She
won’t.
LOVEJOY
I
don’t know what you’re talking
about.
We’re here to buy. I’m
starting
up Lovejoy antiques again.
CHARLIE
You
didn’t bring poor old Tinker Dill
with
you?
LOVEJOY
And
Eric.
CHARLIE
Eric
Catchpole! I would have thought
you
would have managed to find some
new
younger staff. At least some with
brains.
LOVEJOY
Tinker
and Eric are still the best.
CHARLIE
What
about Beth?
LOVEJOY
Married
with two young children.
CHARLIE
You
haven’t told me why you’re here
yet,
Lovejoy? And how you found me?
LOVEJOY
Shopping,
like I said.
Charlie’s buzzer sounds and Charlie speaks into it again.
CHARLIE
Yes?
SECRETARY
(OS)
Mr.
Gimbert. Mrs. Gimbert is here.
LOVEJOY
Mrs.
Gimbert?
The door to Charlie’s office swings open and standing in the
doorway is SHERRI GIMBERT, Charlie Gimbert’s wife.
She is in her fifties with extensive make up covering her
wrinkled face. Sherri is flamboyantly dressed in pink and black with tight
fitting jog pants. She is wearing a wild-looking hat and has a deep New York
accent. She is carrying a few shopping bags from expensive fashionable stores.
Sherri rushes up to Charlie and acts like a dolly bird
embarrassing him.
SHERRI
Charlie!
How’s my lovely honey-bunch?
(kisses
him)
A kiss
for such a hunk of a man.
CHARLIE
Can’t
you see I’ve got business...
(falsely
smiles)
...honey?
Lovejoy smiles trying to hold back his laughter.
SHERRI
I only
wanted to show you what I went
and
bought. Look at these delicious
shoes.
Sherri takes out a shoe box from one of her shopping bags
and proceeds to open it in front of Charlie. He is getting annoyed with her but
trying to maintain his calm side in front of Lovejoy.
CHARLIE
(pushes
the
shoe
box away)
Can’t
you see I’m working!
SHERRI
Oh, I
see, honey-bunch.
CHARLIE
Thank
you.
SHERRI
I
suppose I’d better go then.
CHARLIE
Please.
Sherri reaches down and kisses Charlie on the cheek leaving
a pink lipstick stain. Lovejoy laughs calmly.
SHERRI
Okay,
I’ll see you tonight, honey-
bunch
and don’t you forget what
night
it is.
CHARLIE
(looks
concerned)
What
night is it?
SHERRI
(pushes
her
lips
together)
Passion
night!
Lovejoy laughs again. Charlie swallows in fear. Sherri
leaves the office closing the door behind her.
CHARLIE
(pretends)
Goodbye,
whoever you are.
LOVEJOY
Friend
of yours, Charlie?
CHARLIE
Oh,
you don’t think that me and that
woman
would have any association
with
each other, do you?
Lovejoy looks at Charlie oddly.
LOVEJOY
Remember,
this is Lovejoy you’re
talking
to.
CHARLIE
(annoyed)
All
right, she’s my wife and she is
incredibly
rich.
LOVEJOY
Now,
even I gave you credit for not
marrying
the woman for her looks or
personality.
CHARLIE
She
spends like a public toilet. At
this
rate there won’t be any money
left.
LOVEJOY
I’m
over here collecting. The word is
you’re
buying up a lot of stuff,
Charlie.
CHARLIE
I
figure the more I can buy, the less
she
can spend. I’m going to an auction
on
Wednesday.
LOVEJOY
Where?
CHARLIE
Cavendish’s.
(a
beat)
Oh,
yes I heard you’ve been barred
from
their premises.
(sarcastic)
What a
shame.
LOVEJOY
What
are you after?
CHARLIE
You
don’t think I’d tell you, do you?
LOVEJOY
Oh,
come on, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Find
out for yourself. You seemed to
find
me pretty easy.
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
Okay,
CG.
CHARLIE
(concerned)
You
don’t think it was too obvious?
LOVEJOY
(goes
to leave)
Only
to a blind man.
(wind
up)
Even
Eric knew.
CHARLIE
He
did?
Lovejoy opens the office door.
LOVEJOY
(puts
on a
sweet
voice)
Oh,
and don’t forget what night it
is, lover
boy. Passion night!
Charlie looks annoyed.
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY.
Lovejoy walks past Charlie’s secretary.
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
Thanks
for the coffee.
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - DAY.
Charlie looks out of his window across the New York skyline.
Charlie smiles to himself.
CHARLIE
(to
himself)
The
bait has been set. Now, sniff it
out
Lovejoy.
CUT TO:
INT. BLACK LIMOUSINE - DAY.
ROGER DAVIDSON, a big time antiques crook, is talking on his
limousine phone. We do not see his face and only see the smoke from his huge
Cuban cigar.
DAVIDSON
Is the
shipment coming, tonight?
(a
beat)
Good!
Then continue as planned.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE OVER - INT./EXT. SEVERAL AUCTION ROOMS - DAY.
We see Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric buying and selling different
antiques they have purchased over the week. They are raising the money to go to
the Cavendish and Sons auction on Wednesday.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - LOVEJOY’S ROOM - NIGHT.
Lovejoy is sitting with Eric and Tinker counting out money.
Eric and Tinker’s eyes are wide as they gaze at the dollars.
LOVEJOY
(counting)
Sixty-three,
sixty-four, sixty-five
thousand
dollars.
TINKER
Do you
think it’s enough?
LOVEJOY
Whatever
Charlie Gimbert is after, it
has to
be class. Cavendish’s are top
of the
range.
ERIC
Yeah,
but you’re forgetting one thing
here,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
What’s
that, Eric?
ERIC
Well,
my cunning mind has deduced a
flaw
in your plan.
LOVEJOY
What
is it?
ERIC
You’ve
been banned from Cavendish’s.
TINKER
He’s
right, Lovejoy. I don’t think it
would
be right to put one of us in the
boiling
pot. Charlie will spot us a
mile
off and we’ll probably end up
buying
the wrong thing.
ERIC
(gets
it wrong)
Yeah.
Given the likes of me, Lovejoy,
I’ll
probably buy you something
priceless.
(a beat)
I mean
worthless.
LOVEJOY
I’ll
go.
TINKER
How
can you go, you’re banned.
LOVEJOY
I’m
going.
Lovejoy pulls out a brown bag and opens it. We do not see
what he is showing Eric and Tinker. Eric and Tinker look astonished.
TINKER
(calmly)
Oh my
god!
CUT TO:
INT. CAVENDISH AND SONS AUCTION ROOM - DAY.
We see Charlie Gimbert sitting in the front row of the
auction room. The auction room is packed with clients and buyers. Lovejoy is
nowhere to be seen.
The auction starts and Charlotte begins. Charlie is
continuously looking over his shoulder for Lovejoy. The lots move on in a
series of montages.
INT. AUCTION ROOM - LATER DAY.
Charlotte has gone through many items and now comes to lot
36, a small doll. Charlie sits up in his chair readying himself to bid with his
auction room itinerary.
CHARLOTTE
Now,
we come to lot 36, a French pressed
bisque
swivel-head fashion doll, with
leather-covered
wooden body and disc
joints,
closed mouth, fixed blue eyes,
pierced
ears, white mohair wig over
cork
pate, about 1870. It’s nineteen
inches
high. Now, shall we start the
bidding
at twenty-five thousand
dollars.
Nobody bids except Charlie who smiles as he does so.
CHARLOTTE
(points
to
Charlie)
Twenty-five
thousand, with you.
Suddenly an over-dressed woman with a black veil covering
her face makes a bid.
CHARLOTTE
Twenty-six,
with you madam.
Charlie turns and looks at the woman. She nods her head to
him. Charlie smiles back and bids again.
CHARLOTTE
Twenty-seven.
The woman bids back.
CHARLOTTE
Twenty-eight.
(Charlie
bids)
Twenty-nine.
(the
woman bids)
Thirty
thousand.
(Charlie
bids)
Thirty-one.
(the
woman bids)
Thirty-two.
Charlie looks concerned and looks a number written down on
his auction room itinerary. It reads 32. Charlie reluctantly bids.
CHARLOTTE
Thirty-three.
There is a pause as Charlie thinks he has the doll. The
woman bids again by putting four fingers in the air.
CHARLOTTE
(shocked)
Forty.
The bid has risen to forty-
thousand
dollars.
Charlie is annoyed and loses out on buying the doll. But
Charlie is glad he hasn’t lost out on buying the doll to Lovejoy.
CHARLOTTE
Going
once.
(a
beat)
Twice.
(a
beat)
Sold!
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLOTTE’S OFFICE - LATER.
Charlie walks toward Charlotte’s office and knocks on her
door quietly.
CHARLIE
Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
Charlie.
CHARLIE
Did
you hear who’s in the city?
CHARLOTTE
Lovejoy.
CHARLIE
I
don’t know what he’s up to.
CHARLOTTE
Well,
I know one thing, he’s not going
to
come around here anymore. We aren’t
some
small time bric-a-brac store. We
are
exclusive established antiques
dealers.
CHARLIE
He
came to my office.
CHARLOTTE
(half
interested)
What
did he want?
CHARLIE
I
tried to entice him here. I wanted
the
doll.
CHARLOTTE
Well,
he wasn’t here and a good thing
too.
Bringing the place down with his
shabby-looking
appearance.
CHARLIE
(after
a beat)
Who
did the doll go to, by the way?
CHARLOTTE
Come
on, Charlie. You know I can’t
divulge
clients personal details.
CHARLIE
Please,
Charlotte. I wouldn’t want to
find
out in a more difficult way.
CHARLOTTE
What
do you mean?
CHARLIE
Meaning;
I’ll probably be able to
find
her.
CHARLOTTE
(smiles)
Okay,
just this once.
Charlotte pulls out a receipt from a file.
CHARLOTTE
Somebody
called, Mrs. L.
CHARLIE
Mrs.
L?
CHARLOTTE
Mrs.
L? She obviously wants to remain
anonymous.
CHARLIE
(angry
with rage)
Mrs.
L!
Charlie runs from Charlotte’s office.
CHARLOTTE
(confused)
Charlie?
CUT TO:
INT. TAXI CAB - DAY.
We see the woman holding the doll in her lap. She pulls off
her black veil. We see it is Lovejoy dressed as the woman. Some of his make up
has run down his face and he looks like a bad drag-queen. The taxi driver’s
shocked reaction is seen in the rear view mirror.
LOVEJOY
(feminine
voice)
Don’t
you just hate it when your make
up
runs.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL BAR - EVENING.
Tinker and Eric are drinking at the bar. They turn around
and watch as Lovejoy has trouble entering the hotel. He is still dressed as a
woman. A bellhop walks with him to the bar and we can hear them arguing.
TINKER
I
can’t believe you, Lovejoy.
BELLHOP
I’m
sorry, we don’t allow your type
in
here.
LOVEJOY
I keep
trying to tell you I’m a guest.
I’ve
got a room. These guys will
back
me up.
BELLHOP
(to
Tinker)
Is
this true, sir?
TINKER
I’m
afraid it is. He does have a room
here.
I can vouch for that.
The bellhop walks off with a concerned look.
ERIC
(looks
embarrassed)
I
don’t know for how much longer,
though.
TINKER
You
got it then?
Lovejoy shows Tinker and Eric the doll.
TINKER
(CONT’D)
(looks
impressed)
19th
century, French made.
ERIC
It
must have looked even worse
for
that bellhop.
LOVEJOY
What?
ERIC
Well,
no wonder he wanted to stop
you.
LOVEJOY
The
dress?
ERIC
Plus
the fact you we’re carrying
a
doll.
TINKER
You’ve
got to admit, it does look
odd. I
was very close to saying we
had no
association with you, Lovejoy.
What
chances have we and Eric of
pulling
now?
LOVEJOY
About
the same as you had before.
Zero.
Lovejoy walks off heading for his room.
TINKER
Where
are you going, now?
LOVEJOY
I’ve got
a dinner date with a lady.
TINKER
Who?
CUT TO:
EXT. CAVENDISH AND SONS - NIGHT.
Charlotte is leaving the building. Lovejoy is waiting for
her. He is holding a bouquet of flowers.
LOVEJOY
Please
don’t be angry with me.
Lovejoy hands Charlotte the flowers.
CHARLOTTE
These
won’t get me back. What are you
doing
here, Lovejoy? You know I could
have
you arrested for following me.
LOVEJOY
I’m
not following you. I’m here with
a
peace offering.
CHARLOTTE
And as
for that little stunt you pulled
on me
this afternoon. I’m just glad
nobody
else found out otherwise the
whole
Cavendish reputation could have
gone
up in smoke.
LOVEJOY
I want
to explain everything.
CHARLOTTE
What?
LOVEJOY
Dinner?
CHARLOTTE
No way!
One dinner with you and before
you
know it we’ll be back to our usual
ways.
You poncing off while I’m left
to
wonder where you’ve been.
LOVEJOY
It
wasn’t always like that, Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
Most
of the time, it was.
LOVEJOY
I can
explain over dinner tonight.
CHARLOTTE
Sorry,
I’m booked.
LOVEJOY
Lunch?
CHARLOTTE
Booked.
Charlotte hails a taxi cab and one pulls up by the side of
the curb.
LOVEJOY
Dinner
tomorrow?
CHARLOTTE
Booked.
Charlotte opens the cab door and gets in, closing the door
behind her. Lovejoy leans through the open door window.
LOVEJOY
Come
on, Charlotte. Just one dinner
and
all will be explained.
(a
beat)
Don’t
you want to know what happened
to me?
CHARLOTTE
(insincere)
No!
(a
beat)
Yes.
(a
beat)
Dinner,
tomorrow and you’re paying.
The cab drives away. Lovejoy smiles.
INT. TAXI - NIGHT.
Charlotte is sitting in the back. She is thinking about dinner
with Lovejoy and suddenly smiles with excitement. She is still in love with
him.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - NIGHT.
Charlie is sitting in his office alone. He looks angry with
rage after what Lovejoy did at the auction.
CHARLIE
(angry)
This
time you’ve gone too far,
Lovejoy.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - RESTAURANT - EVENING.
We see a brown paper bag containing a box. It is being
carried by a bellhop toward the manager of the restaurant. The bellhop hands
the brown paper bag to the manager.
We see him walk with it to a table. The manager places it
next to another brown paper bag of similar size.
Two envelopes attached to the brown paper bags come off and fall
to the floor. The manager picks them up and places each on the wrong brown
paper bags. The manager walks away.
We close in on the envelopes and notice one is addressed to
Davidson and the other is addressed to Miss. Cavendish.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - RESTAURANT - NIGHT.
We see a hand move toward the brown paper bag marked Miss.
Cavendish. The envelope is pulled off and the brown paper bag is replaced with
another. The envelope is replaced on the new brown paper bag. We see it is
Charlie Gimbert doing this and he grins with glee.
The restaurant is full and waiters are serving at tables
sitting smartly-dressed ladies and gentlemen.
Charlotte appears at the entrance of the restaurant. The
manager approaches her.
CHARLOTTE
I’m,
Miss. Cavendish. Lovejoy’s table.
MANAGER
This
way, madam.
Charlotte is led to a table by a window. She sits down.
MANAGER
Miss.
Cavendish, Mr. Lovejoy has left
you a
package. He told me to say he
would
be along shortly.
A waitress hands the brown paper bag to Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
For
me?
Charlotte opens the brown paper bag and pulls out a box.
Inside the box is the 19th century French doll purchased from her
auction.
Near the entrance; we see a smartly dressed Lovejoy. His
dinner jacket looks somehow out of place on him. He approaches Charlotte.
LOVEJOY
How do
you like it?
CHARLOTTE
It’s
beautiful.
LOVEJOY
A
beautiful gift for a beautiful
lady.
CHARLOTTE
You
don’t have to give me this, it’s
too
expensive.
Lovejoy sits down opposite Charlotte.
LOVEJOY
Priceless.
But I remembered what
you
said.
On the other side of the restaurant; we see Roger Davidson
being shown to a table with another man. They look like two business men about
to do a deal. The wrong kind of deal.
A waitress hands the other brown paper bag to Davidson who
opens it and takes out a box. Inside the box is a 19th century
French doll identical to the one Lovejoy has given to Charlotte.
Davidson looks at the doll and smiles unaware it is really
Lovejoy’s.
Lovejoy looks at his doll unaware it is a fake.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S LIMOUSINE - NIGHT.
Charlie has a huge smile on his face as he opens the box and
looks at the French doll.
CHARLIE
I’ve
got you this time, Lovejoy. If
you want
it back, you’re going to
have
to come and get it.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - RESTAURANT - NIGHT.
Charlotte puts the doll away and looks at Lovejoy. She
smiles.
CHARLOTTE
Come
on, tell me.
LOVEJOY
Dinner
first. I always find my mind
works better
on a full stomach.
(calls
to
a
waiter)
Garcon.
The manager looks at him with disgust.
INT. RESTAURANT - LATER NIGHT.
The restaurant has quieted down. Lovejoy is sipping some red
wine. We catch Charlotte and Lovejoy in mid-conversation.
LOVEJOY
That’s
why I missed our wedding and
you
now know where I’ve been for the
past
seven years. You know why I
didn’t
write and why I had to cut
all
ties with the old me. This is
the
new me, Charlotte. Do you
understand?
CHARLOTTE
(a
beat)
I’ve heard
a more caring person,
tonight.
Not the Lovejoy I knew.
LOVEJOY
You’re
the second person to say
that.
CHARLOTTE
What
happened between us is still
ancient
history.
LOVEJOY
I came
here to say I’m sorry for being
the
man you wanted.
CHARLOTTE
That’s
the problem, you still are.
LOVEJOY
A lot
has changed Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
(with
a smile)
I hate
you. Don’t you know that?
LOVEJOY
There
is a very thin line between
hate
and love.
CHARLOTTE
You
shouldn’t have come here. You’ve
knocked
me sideways again.
LOVEJOY
I want
your friendship.
Charlotte reaches her hand across the table and strokes
Lovejoy’s hand calmly.
CHARLOTTE
I’ll
always be your friend. Just
don’t
go running away on me for
another
seven years.
LOVEJOY
I’m going
back to England. Starting
again.
I’ve bought a property.
CHARLOTTE
You
own a property?
LOVEJOY
You’ll
find there are a lot of
changes
to me Charlotte.
CUT TO:
INT. ROGER DAVIDSON’S OFFICES - LATER NIGHT.
Davidson is showing the 19th Century French doll
to Harry, his henchman and antiques expert.
DAVIDSON
The
real prize is inside. Break
it
open.
Harry looks closely at the doll. His eyes pop out.
HARRY
They
hid it in this?
DAVIDSON
Break
it open.
HARRY
No
way! It is impossible.
DAVIDSON
What?
HARRY
This
is real.
DAVIDSON
You’re
joking, right?
HARRY
This
is the real thing. No fake. It’s
worth
about thirty-thousand dollars.
They
must have got switched.
DAVIDSON
(angry)
Let’s
find it before it disappears.
CUT TO:
EXT. BROAD WALK OVER LOOKING THE HUDSON - LATER NIGHT.
Lovejoy and Charlotte are walking along the broad walk close
to the Hudson river. Charlotte stops and hangs over the guardrail looking at
the river. She pulls out the 19th century French doll and looks at
it.
CHARLOTTE
This
is so beautiful, Lovejoy.
Lovejoy looks at it. His face drops.
LOVEJOY
It
would be. If it was the real
thing.
CHARLOTTE
What?
LOVEJOY
It’s a
fake.
CHARLOTTE
It
can’t be. I sold it to you.
LOVEJOY
This
isn’t the one you sold me.
It’s
been switched.
CHARLOTTE
Where?
LOVEJOY
Obviously
in the hotel. The bellhop
took
it to the restaurant for me.
CHARLOTTE
It
could be anywhere and taken by
anyone.
LOVEJOY
(angry)
Charlie
Gimbert! He just won’t let
it go.
CHARLOTTE
He was
sniffing around the office
after
you bought it.
LOVEJOY
Come
on!
CHARLOTTE
What
are you going to do?
LOVEJOY
I’m
going to go and get it back.
CHARLOTTE
Now?
LOVEJOY
Do you
know of a better time?
CHARLOTTE
It’s
after midnight. I’m having none
of it.
You can put me in a taxi and
we’ll
say nothing more of the matter.
LOVEJOY
Oh,
come on, Charlotte.
Charlotte looks at Lovejoy with contempt.
LOVEJOY
Okay.
Taxi it is.
CHARLOTTE
You
are intolerable. Do you know
that?
LOVEJOY
Yes.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE BUILDING - LATE NIGHT.
We see Lovejoy sneak into the building through a fire exit.
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - LATE NIGHT.
The room is dark. All the lights are off and we can just
make out Lovejoy as he searches through Charlie’s assortment of antiques
looking for the 19th century French doll.
He finds it hidden behind the drinks cabinet.
Suddenly the lights come on and Lovejoy has been rumbled. Three
police officers with guns enter the room followed by Charlie Gimbert and
Lieutenant Willet from the 5th Precinct police station.
POLICE
OFFICER
Freeze!
LOVEJOY
(to
the camera)
I’ve
been cooked.
Charlie smiles at Lovejoy. Lovejoy is put in handcuffs and
led away.
CUT TO:
INT. 5TH PRECINCT POLICE STATION - LATE NIGHT.
We see Charlie Gimbert making a full statement to another
police officer.
Lovejoy is sitting in Lieutenant Willet’s office.
LIEUTENANT
(points
to
Lovejoy)
Well,
Mr. Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
Just,
Lovejoy.
LIEUTENANT
(confused)
Lovejoy?
LOVEJOY
Right.
LIEUTENANT
Well,
what’s your first name?
LOVEJOY
Lovejoy.
LIEUTENANT
So
it’s, Lovejoy, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
No!
One word, Lovejoy.
LIEUTENANT
(angry)
Now, Lovejoy.
I’ve just got off the
phone
to a Detective Sergeant Pulver
of
Suffolk police, England.
LOVEJOY
Oh?
LIEUTENANT
He
seemed pretty pissed that he was
woken
up in the middle of the night to
be
told his long and trusted friend is
now
wanted for burglary in two
countries.
LOVEJOY
I bet
he was.
LIEUTENANT
He
said and I quote, “I’ve been trying
to get
that son of a bitch locked up
for
years, send him back to me, please,
he’s
mine. I’ll take good care of him.”
LOVEJOY
He’s joking.
I’m not denying I haven’t
done a
jail term.
LIEUTENANT
Your
criminal record speaks for itself.
LOVEJOY
This
speaks for itself. I was set up.
Get
Charlie Gimbert in here.
We see a police officer bring Charlie Gimbert to the
Lieutenant’s office.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
I’ve
got some bad news for you,
Charlie.
CHARLIE
(to
the Lieutenant)
I want
him charged.
LOVEJOY
It’s a
fake too, Charlie.
Charlie suddenly looks confused.
CHARLIE
Fake?
LOVEJOY
It’s a
fake. I was stealing a fake.
CHARLIE
(lets it
slip)
But I
switched the real one for a...
LIEUTENANT
What?
CHARLIE
Nothing.
LIEUTENANT
What
are you saying?
LOVEJOY
He
stole the doll from me.
CHARLIE
No I
didn’t.
LOVEJOY
You
stole it and switched it for a
fake
then led me to your office.
CHARLIE
But
you were still stealing it.
LOVEJOY
Charlie,
it didn’t work. Somebody
already
switched it.
CHARLIE
They’re
both fake?
LOVEJOY
(sarcastic)
Yes.
CHARLIE
(reaches
down
to
Lovejoy)
I want
them found, Lovejoy. They
won’t
get away with this.
LOVEJOY
What
can I do? I’m under arrest.
Charlie looks at the Lieutenant with an embarrassed
expression. The Lieutenant looks annoyed and throws a pen across his desk.
LIEUTENANT
You’re
kidding me, right?
CHARLIE
I wish
to withdraw my statement.
LIEUTENANT
(angry)
Get
the hell out of here!
CUT TO:
EXT. 5TH PRECINCT POLICE STATION - LATE NIGHT.
Charlie is still in the police station retracting his
statement. Lovejoy leaves the police station and walks across the street.
Roger Davidson’s black limousine pulls up by the side of
Lovejoy. The door swings open. Harry is holding a gun at Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
What,
now?
HARRY
Get
in.
LOVEJOY
Okay.
I never answer back to a man
with a
gun.
Lovejoy climbs into the limousine.
INT. LIMOUSINE - LATE NIGHT.
Harry shuts the door and the limousine drives away. Roger
Davidson is sitting opposite Lovejoy.
DAVIDSON
Are
you who they call, Lovejoy?
LOVEJOY
Yes.
You are?
DAVIDSON
My
name is unimportant. It’s what I
seem to
be missing that is.
LOVEJOY
And
what’s that?
DAVIDSON
An
antique. A French doll.
Lovejoy opens his eyes wide.
LOVEJOY
I see.
DAVIDSON
Do you
have it?
LOVEJOY
No.
DAVIDSON
That
isn’t what I want to be
hearing.
HARRY
(points
the
gun at
Lovejoy’s
face)
Where is it?
LOVEJOY
I can
get it.
DAVIDSON
Oh,
you will. You can be sure of
that.
LOVEJOY
A fair
exchange. The two dolls
switched
somehow. I know mine’s a
fake.
DAVIDSON
We’ll
be taking something as security.
LOVEJOY
I’ve
got nothing.
DAVIDSON
Something
much more important to you.
Miss.
Cavendish.
Lovejoy looks angry. Harry opens the limousine door. Lovejoy
is thrown from the moving limousine.
EXT. ALLY - LATE NIGHT.
Lovejoy lands on his back and crashes into some trash cans
filled with rubbish. He is knocked unconscious.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHARLOTTE’S APARTMENT - MORNING.
Charlotte leaves her apartment in the morning. She stops a
taxi and gets in. The taxi drives off. We see the driver is Harry, Roger
Davidson’s henchman. Charlotte is being kidnapped.
CUT TO:
INT. WELFARE SHELTER FOR HOMELESS - EARLY MORNING.
Lovejoy is sitting on a broken chair. He has a blanket
rapped around him and looks like another homeless person. His appearance is
rough and he is cut and bruised after being thrown out of the limousine. A
female welfare volunteer steps forward and wraps her arm around Lovejoy.
FEMALE
VOLUNTEER
Are
you okay? You’re freezing cold.
(a
beat)
Do you
have anywhere to stay?
Lovejoy is still dazed and looks up at the female volunteer.
LOVEJOY
Am I
in heaven?
FEMALE
VOLUNTEER
There
is some hot soup over there.
Lovejoy comes to and looks around. He realizes where he is
and can’t believe it.
LOVEJOY
What
happened?
FEMALE
VOLUNTEER
We
found you in the ally behind the
shelter.
You’d been all beaten up.
Lovejoy feels his face and looks in pain.
MUSIC OVER - BEETHOVEN - ODE OF JOY.
He looks at the female volunteer’s clothes. She is wearing a
brooch. We close in on the brooch.
LOVEJOY
(divvy)
Maybe
I am in heaven.
The female volunteer smiles and thinks Lovejoy is looking at
her when he is only interested in the brooch.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
Where
did you get the brooch?
FEMALE
VOLUNTEER
This
old thing? I found it in the
trash.
It’s worth nothing.
LOVEJOY
I’ll
give you fifty dollars for it.
FEMALE
VOLUNTEER
I
don’t know.
LOVEJOY
Sixty
dollars, for helping me out.
It
could go to your cause here.
EXT. WELFARE SHELTER FOR HOMELESS - DAY.
Lovejoy leaves the shelter holding the brooch. He walks up
to the camera.
LOVEJOY
(into
camera)
An Art
Nouveau plique-a-jour enamel
and
diamond brooch, by Louis Aucoc
about
1900. I won’t begin to tell
you
how much it’s worth.
Lovejoy walks away.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - LOVEJOY’S ROOM - DAY.
Lovejoy is woken by knocking on his bedroom door. He gets up
and wraps a towel around himself. He opens the door. Tinker and Eric rush into
the room.
TINKER
My
god! You’re all right.
ERIC
What
happened?
LOVEJOY
What
didn’t happen. Sit down and
I’ll
tell you.
CUT TO:
INT. THE PLAZA HOTEL - LOVEJOY’S ROOM - LATER.
Lovejoy has told the story. Tinker looks worried. A knock is
heard at the door. Lovejoy opens the door cautiously. A bellhop hands Lovejoy a
letter. Lovejoy takes it and closes the door. He walks back to Tinker and Eric
and opens the letter.
LOVEJOY
(reads
the
letter)
Liberty
Island, 5 p.m. Bring the doll
and a
fair exchange will be made.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE GIMBERT’S OFFICE - DAY.
Lovejoy takes hold of both fake French dolls. He places them
in a bag and leaves with Charlie.
LOVEJOY
All I
want back is Charlotte.
CHARLIE
I’ll
keep the real doll.
LOVEJOY
Whatever
you want, Charlie.
CUT TO:
EXT. LIBERTY ISLAND FERRY - DAY.
Lovejoy is standing at the front of the ferry looking toward
Liberty Island. He is calm, but extremely nervous of what is to happen.
Eric and Tinker are standing with Charlie close-by.
CHARLIE
What’s
the time?
ERIC
Nearly
five.
TINKER
The
confrontation is almost upon us.
CUT TO:
EXT. LIBERTY ISLAND - 5 P.M.
Lovejoy is waiting for Davidson to turn up. We see a stream
of tourists all around the island. Tinker steps forward to Lovejoy.
TINKER
(looking
at
the
tourists)
This
is a dangerous place to be
playing
these kind of games, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
It’s a
perfect location. He can get
in and
get out without anybody noticing.
TINKER
(points
to
jet
boat)
What’s
that?
We see a jet boat approach and dock at Liberty Island.
Davidson and Harry get out with two other henchmen. There is no sight of
Charlotte.
Lovejoy stands in front of them holding the bag with the
dolls inside.
DAVIDSON
Do you
have the doll?
LOVEJOY
Where’s
Charlotte?
DAVIDSON
Safe.
LOVEJOY
No
deal until I know she’s all
right.
Harry goes to pull his gun out on Lovejoy. Davidson prevents
him.
DAVIDSON
She’s
fine and very close-by.
LOVEJOY
How
can I be sure?
DAVIDSON
Well,
you’ll just have to trust me.
Now
give me the doll.
LOVEJOY
Where’s
my doll?
Harry pulls out a bag and walks toward Lovejoy. Suddenly a
Liberty Island security guard steps between them.
SECURITY
GUARD
(to
Davidson)
Excuse
me, sir.
HARRY
Yes?
SECURITY
GUARD
Is
that your power boat docked over
there?
DAVIDSON
Is
there a problem officer?
SECURITY
GUARD
I’m
afraid there is no unauthorized
docking
permitted on Liberty Island.
Behind Lovejoy we see Tinker, Charlie and Eric are edging
forward closer to everyone.
HARRY
We
have authorization.
Harry pulls out his gun. The security guard steps away.
DAVIDSON
(to
Harry)
No,
Harry! We’re in a public place.
Lovejoy grabs the bag and takes the doll out. Lovejoy
quickly puts it in his bag and mixes up all three dolls.
Eric grabs a henchman and struggles with him. Another henchman
struggles with Tinker. Lovejoy throws one of the dolls to Charlie who catches
it. Harry grabs one and throws it to Davidson. At this point Lovejoy doesn’t
know which doll is which.
Meanwhile the security guard has run off and called the
police.
When the struggle is over everybody stands still and silent.
LOVEJOY
Okay,
Davidson, you’ve got what you
came
for. Now, where’s Charlotte?
DAVIDSON
How do
I know this is the fake one.
Harry looks it over.
HARRY
It’s
the fake.
LOVEJOY
Where’s
Charlotte?
Davidson smiles orders his men away from Tinker and Eric and
slowly points to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Davidson and his men run off
toward their jet boat.
Lovejoy runs off toward the entrance to the Statue of
Liberty. Charlie runs after him.
CHARLIE
Lovejoy!
Lovejoy, there’s something
I
haven’t told you.
Lovejoy is too preoccupied with finding Charlotte and enters
the statue. Charlie enters the Statue of Liberty too. Eric runs after them.
Tinker stands by.
TINKER
I’ll
stay here, thank you very much.
INT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - STAIRWAY - DAY.
Lovejoy pushes past tourists and climbs up the stairway to
the top of the statue. Charlie follows behind. He is out of breath. Eric is
close behind.
CUT TO:
EXT. LIBERTY ISLAND DOCK - DAY.
We see Davidson and his henchmen jump into the jet boat and
speed away. A police Helicopter is seen flying above. We see a police boat
speed after Davidson. A boat chase is on.
CUT TO:
INT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - CROWN GANGWAY - DAY.
Lovejoy rushes up to the crown gangway from the stairway.
Charlotte is tied to a viewing window arch in the crown. Another Davidson
henchman quickly runs off down the exit stairway. Lovejoy leaves him and rushes
to Charlotte and unties her. She falls into his arms.
LOVEJOY
Charlotte!
CHARLOTTE
Lovejoy!
(in
tears)
I
thought I was never going to see
you
again. They were going to push
me out
if you didn’t give them the
doll.
Lovejoy looks out through the arch window in the crown. We
see the drop to the ground and Lovejoy realises how lucky Charlotte has been.
LOVEJOY
(smiles)
Well,
I always wanted to see the
New
York sights.
They cuddle each other for a few moments. Charlotte smiles
and stands up with Lovejoy. Charlie gets to the top of the stairway.
CHARLIE
(calls
to
Lovejoy)
Lovejoy!
We’ve got a small problem.
LOVEJOY
What?
CHARLIE
It’s
the fake doll.
LOVEJOY
You’re
right, why would Davidson want
it so
much? It’s just a bad fake.
CHARLIE
No,
you don’t understand.
LOVEJOY
(ignores
Charlie)
Something
inside it.
Lovejoy goes to smash the doll.
CHARLIE
(shouts)
No!
LOVEJOY
What?
It’s a worthless made in
China,
doll.
CHARLIE
No.
LOVEJOY
What
is it, Charlie?
CHARLIE
It
might happen to have a small
incendiary
device inside.
CHARLOTTE
(shocked)
What?
LOVEJOY
Don’t
kid with me, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Don’t
go mad at me, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
You
were trying to kill me?
CHARLIE
No!
Just a smoke bomb. But after
looking
it up I think I might have
over
done it on the explosives.
LOVEJOY
(angry)
You just
wait until this is over,
Charlie.
Suddenly Eric comes running up the stairway and trips up the
last step. He falls forward and knocks the doll out of Lovejoy’s hand.
It flies through the air in slow motion.
Charlie, Charlotte and Lovejoy dive for cover waiting for
the explosion.
The doll hits the floor and smashes into small pieces but
with no explosion.
Charlie gets up with Lovejoy and Charlotte. Eric walks over
to the smashed remains and pulls out a small package inside the doll.
CHARLIE
(relieved)
It’s
not the one.
CHARLOTTE
Then
who’s got the one with the
bomb?
LOVEJOY
Davidson.
CUT TO:
EXT. EAST RIVER - JET BOAT - DAY.
Davidson is being chased by a police boat and helicopter. They
are speeding up the East River heading toward Brooklyn Bridge.
INT. JET BOAT - DAY.
Harry is looking at the French doll.
HARRY
(to
Davidson)
It’s
the fake.
DAVIDSON
(smiles)
Break
it open. Let’s see what surprises
are
hidden inside.
Harry throws it to the floor of the boat.
EXT. EAST RIVER - JET BOAT - DAY.
Davidson’s jet boat explodes in a ball of fire. The
helicopter has to turn away as the flames leap toward it. Lieutenant Willet is
inside the helicopter and looks down at the burnt wreckage of the jet boat.
CUT TO:
INT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - CROWN GANGWAY - DAY.
Eric hands the small package to Lovejoy. He unwraps it.
Inside is pocket globe about 3 inches across.
CHARLOTTE
What
is it?
Lovejoy’s face lights up.
LOVEJOY
It’s
what it isn’t.
CHARLIE
It
looks like a globe.
LOVEJOY
Not
just any old globe. A royal
presentation
pocket globe, by Joseph
Moxon,
with monograms for King William
and
Queen Mary, in a silver-mounted
case.
1690. Priceless.
CHARLIE
How
priceless?
LOVEJOY
(angry)
I
don’t think you could afford it,
Charlie.
After all the hospital
treatment
you’re going to need.
Now,
give me the real doll.
CHARLIE
(frightened)
Hang
on, Lovejoy. We made an
agreement.
LOVEJOY
That
was before I knew about the
bomb.
Charlie runs down the exit stairway. Lovejoy runs after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. FELSHAM HALL - DAY.
Lovejoy is standing with Charlotte at the closed gates of
Felsham Hall. The padlock on the gates is locked.
LOVEJOY
We had
some good times here, didn’t
we Charlotte.
CHARLOTTE
Well
you did, Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
It’s
sad to see it fall out of use
again.
If only I could afford it.
CHARLOTTE
(smirks)
There’s
a joke.
LOVEJOY
What
are you saying, Charlotte?
CHARLOTTE
I’m
saying you’re a dreamer,
Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY
What
do you think? It wouldn’t be up
to my
standard. I’d have to be a Lord
or
something to live at a place like
Felsham
Hall.
CHARLOTTE
Lord
Lovejoy. I’ve never heard anything
so
preposterous.
LOVEJOY
I’ll
buy it someday.
CHARLOTTE
You
couldn’t even afford the barn you
used
to run your business from.
LOVEJOY
Will
you marry me?
CHARLOTTE
What?
LOVEJOY
Marry
me, here?
CHARLOTTE
Lovejoy,
I wouldn’t even marry you if
you were a Lord.
Lovejoy looks hurt.
CHARLOTTE
I’m sorry,
but that’s where I stand
on the
matter.
LOVEJOY
That’s
a pity.
CHARLOTTE
(a
beat of
consideration)
What’s
a pity?
LOVEJOY
That
you wouldn’t marry me, even if
I was
a Lord.
CHARLOTTE
Are
you saying you’re a Lord?
Lovejoy gives her his glare and produces a thick papered
document. Lovejoy passes the document to her. Charlotte looks shocked as she
reads it.
LOVEJOY
It
turns out I’ve been a Lord for
years
and now I’m staking my claim
to it.
CHARLOTTE
Lord
Lovejoy. This is a joke?
LOVEJOY
No
joke.
Lovejoy walks up to the gates of Felsham Hall and produces a
key to unlock the padlock.
CHARLOTTE
What
are you doing?
LOVEJOY
Going
into Felsham Hall.
CHARLOTTE
Braking
in is an offense.
LOVEJOY
They’ll
never arrest me.
CHARLOTTE
Why?
LOVEJOY
Believe
me, Charlotte, they’ll never
arrest
me.
Lovejoy opens the gates and walks onto the driveway.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
Well,
how can they arrest somebody
for
braking into their own residence.
CHARLOTTE
Have
you gone mad?
LOVEJOY
Maybe.
CHARLOTTE
Are
you telling me, you own Felsham
Hall?
LOVEJOY
Charlotte,
I own Felsham Hall.
Lovejoy reaches across and kisses Charlotte on the lips.
LOVEJOY
(CONT’D)
Still,
don’t want to marry a Lord?
Lovejoy walks off. Charlotte follows him.
CHARLOTTE
(calling
out)
Lovejoy!
Lovejoy! We’ll have to talk
about
this. Where are you going? Come
back!
Lovejoy!
FADE OUT
CAPTION OVER:
THE
END...
...OR
IS IT THE BEGINNING.