I Don't Believe
I'm such an asshole
I'm such a stain
I just keep fucking up again and again
You crawled inside my mind when you crawled into my bed
Said everything I've ever longed to hear
So perfect, so alive, once inside you sucked me dry
Used me up and left me here for dead
I crave it desperately, a cancer eating me
An addiction too intense to be denied
Worthless, I'm a whore, crawling back for more
Pathetic how I fed off this abuse
You told me that you loved me
You swore that you loved me
And I believed, now I know it was a lie
(Chorus)
I don't believe
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me
Top
Shame
I only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was
Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I
I'm wondering 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I need someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to
I stare in this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant like this
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you
I don't know what's real without you
How can I exist without you
Top
What Do I Have To Do
You make it hard to breathe
It's as if I'm suffocating
And when you're next to me
I can feel your heartbeat through my skin
It makes me sad to think this could all be for nothing
I wish there was a way for you to see inside me
I've never felt this way about anyone or anything
Tell me
What do I have to do to make you happy
What do I have to do to make you understand
What do I have to do to make you want me
And if I can't make you want me what to I have to do
I know exactly what you're thinking
But I swear this time I will not let you down
I'm not as selfish as I used to be
That was a part of me that never made me proud
Right now I think I would try anything
Anything at all to keep you satisfied
God I hope you see what losing you will do to me
All I want is one more chance so tell me
What to I have to do to make you love me
(What do I have to do to forget about you)
Top
Why
I am not here I think I've never been here at all or ever will be
I feel like a place where no one goes any more
Why can't you see that everything's broken
Why does it seem this life's turned grey
I can't believe in anything sacred when I don't believe I am real
It seems so bizarre but none of this matters
Thoughts disappear, hope has died
Now I am safe nothing can hurt me here
Why can't you see my need for forgiveness
The truth and the lies confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe in anything
I am alone locked in my memories
There's nowhere left for me to hide
But I am not real
I've made all I am with lies
Why does it seem that everything's different
Why does it seem that only you are real
I don't believe in anything sacred
So why do I feel so damn alone
I need someone to break the silence
That's screaming in my head
And in my soul
Top
Inside You
I feel your lips
I taste your skin
I need to know, I need to feel you from within
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel complete, I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If only I could stay here forever
So much to tell you
So much to show you
So much to confide
Now that I'm inside you
We are flesh
We are one
So why do I feel so much guilt for what I've done
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel release, I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If only I could stay here forever
So much to tell you
So much to give you
So much to confide no that I'm inside you
Top
Falls Apart
I'm tangled and broken
Left scattered on the floor
It's useless now these pieces
They can never make me whole
You wither
You blister
I watch you burn and peel
It's not like you can save me
It's not like you even care
I'm finding it so hard to hold on
This is where it falls apart
This is where it falls apart
I feel helpless as my everything comes crashing down on me
This is where it falls apart
This is where it falls apart
I feel helpless as my fucking world comes crashing down
Crashing down on me
Top
So Wrong
Waste thoughts of you
Wasted prayers to you
Give me back my mind
I'm empty inside
What have I become
Everything's undone
A candle burns in your honour
My soul a shrine I've built for you
I've got nothing left inside me
There's nothing left but you
Can't seem to pretend
This night has to end
I can't fill this hole
You are all I know
It's so wrong that I need you
It's so wrong that I need abuse
It's so wrong that I need you
So wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone
Top
Crushing Me
I'm feeling the weight of the world and it's crushing me
I'm feeling the weight of everyday life and it's crushing me
How much more will it take
How much more until it breaks me
This world is crushing me
I'm feeling the hate of the world and it's crushing me
I'm feeling the hate of everyday life and it's crushing me
I swallow the hate, betrayal and lies
Swallow it whole and shove it deep down inside of me
I'm feeling the weight of the world and it's crushing me
How much more will it take
How much more until it breaks me
This world is crushing me
Top
Sleep
She's been here so many times before
She can't remember when she last felt anything at all but this fear and anger
She stares intently at the door listens for his footsteps
She knows exactly what's in store and the knowing makes it worse
When he calls her daddy's little girl she doesn't hear him
When he crushes her he can't feel
Her screams are silent
Hides in the corner of her mind where she plays contently
She leaves this nightmare far behind, escapes inside her dreams
Floating high above her bed staring at her fathers head
Wishing one of them was dead so this hell could finally end
Top
Slipping Away
I feel it slipping away
I gave it all and no one cared
I feel it sleeping away
I feel it sleeping away
No more pain no more fear
I feel it slipping away
I just can't learn to forget
Now I'm choking on the memories choking on regret
I tried but I can't find a way
To untangle all the pieces after they've been thrown away
I will not suffer this loss of you again and again
I refuse to continue to live in this perpetual nightmare
I decide it ends right here
I feel it slipping away
I feel it slipping away
I feel it slipping away
Everything's slipping away
Top
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