It had gone on long enough already that I was starting to get the idea it was wrong.... I still colored with crayons.
My mother was watching one of these womens movies.. i have no idea what.. where a psychiatrist was watching children coloring while explaining to parents how much you could tell from crayola drawings... things like how much color you used, if one person was drawn at a distance from everyone else, if the child always drew themselves crying, etc.
I watched that section from behind moms couch where I was playing.
The next day in school, the teacher tells us all to draw our families.
I wanted to draw black and white, and dad WAAAY away from me... My father WAS my abuser.
I rememberred the show, and drew 4 smiley stick figures, all together, in color.
I still remember this. I did it consciously, to keep the secret.
I stopped my abuser years later, when I was in late Jr high or High school.. I honestly don't remember... perhaps I blocked it out of my mind.
Everyone, remember.. even smiley crayon drawings can hide the truth.
Kids are very good with keeping secrets when they think they matter.
Sit down with your children, and have a talk.
Tell them that if an adult ever wants them to keep a secret from you. EVER. except maybe about a surprise birthday party. ;) That it is wrong. Make them understand that secrets can hurt everyone involved, and don't trust that they'll tell you without this talk... or maybe even with it.
I have a daughter. I love my husband dearly. I know his stance on this kind of abuse. I'm 100 % certain he would NEVER EVER do anything to my daughter.
Even so.. I plan to have that little talk with her one day when she's old enough.
And I'll tell her I don't care if its cousins, brothers (if she has one), uncles, aunts, or even her daddy who is wanting her to keep secrets, she should still come straight to me and tell me so I can help her decide if it's a good secret or a bad secret.
I'll tell more of my story later.
Meanwhile, if you were abused or sexually abused as a child and want your story heard, send it to me. I'll look it over, and may add another story page for you. Your information would be kept 100% confidential. And best wishes towards your recovery, to you abused ones, all.