if you don't understand it, you don't deserve to have it explained to you-some chick on VH1
I'm not going to watch your TV, I'm not going to listen to your stereo and there's a cinnamon raisin loaf in that oven that I'm not going to eat. And you know why? because it's all tainted with your betrayal - Joey from FRIENDS
are you ok? are you sure? cause you just went through a wall - Gone in 60 Seconds
I'm very irrational right now. I'm liable to buy anything you show me. I'm also liable to pull out a gun and shoot you for trying to take advantage of me - Roseanne
all this time I've been walking around on a cloud and it's just been reflected glow off of you and Jake- Keeping the Faith
men are like linoleum floors: lay then right and you can walk on them for 30 years.- Grace Under Fire
you can stop trying to win the award for idiocy. there are no other contenders. - Pinky and the Brain
(Del) -what's the matter with you?
(Richard) -are you talking about my childhood or did you have something more specific in mind? - Caroline in the City
(Will) -Is this seat taken?
(Jack)- Does it look like it's taken?
(Will) -No.
(Jack)- Well, it is, by my righteous anger Will and Grace
Remember in Hebrew school when a couple of guys would get into a shoving match? Worst case scenario, someone gets their yamakah knocked off. -Boiler Room
does this elevator go straight to hell or do I stop in the lobby? - Caroline in the City
you may be a prince in your country, but in here in America, you're just another BITCH! - Tim McWilliams
Tomorrow the sun will rise, and it is due to men of good will; and those men are all that stands between us and the devil - Thirteen Days
(random guy) -I wasn't created from a monkey
(Mrs. Evans) -Well, I don't know either, but you are starting to act like you were- Patience Evans, talking to a guy about Darwinism
My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope." Instead, I became a painter, and wound up Picasso.- Pablo Picasso
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee
...and I'm not talking about Madonna, who just hemorrages money- Patience Evans
I don't know. I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference. - Jack Kerouac
(in reference to me) You should have seen her. We were at Starbucks, and she was just standing there, and then she just fell. - Tim Grove
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Joan Crawford
Is Christina Aguilera honestly Latina, or is her name one of those Geraldo Rivera things? And does the carpet match the drapes? In fact, is the room even carpeted yet? - David Lee Roth, in Spin.
people are poor because they have no money. If they had it, they wouldn't be poor - Patience Evans
I don't care if you have flaws, everyone does; just don't pretend like you're perfect.- Tim Grove
I guess it's because I'm Catholic, have ideas on birth control and used to joke about keeping women barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen...But hey, I haven't been married for 20 years by being a caveman- Mel Gibson, on why he is percieved as a "right-wing misogynist"
it's colder than the fourth hell- Patience Evans
It's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is that the Dutch girl chose me, not you, ME!. Holland loves Chandler, thank you Amsterdam, goodnight.- Chandler (Matthew Perry) from FRIENDS
(Peter)- Lumbergh is my boss. He's my unholy, disgusting, pig of a boss!
(Joanna) - Oh, he's not that disgusting
(Peter)- He represents all that is soul-less and wrong. And you slept with him!- Office Space
I've seen freedom. I don't like the health plan.- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
college student by day, tori007 by night.- random quote on my screen from CollegeClub.com
I'm not a victim. I am a survivor. I made some bad choices in life and I have to move on.- Unknown
you above all things be glad and young. For if you're young,whatever life you wear it will become you; and if you are glad whatever's living will yourself become. - e.e.cummings
Next stop, Chunkyville. Population: You.- Toyota truck commercial
If you don't have enough money to leave a tip, go across the street to Luby's.- my manager Paul during a very stressful day
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want; an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr
Britney Spears: we won't play her, but we'd do her - 94.5 the Buzz (radio station in Houston)
Where the hell are we, the Ukraine? - phrase I use waaaay to much
you know, for him being a gay black man, you would think he would be a little bit more hostile- Mike
did he just call that guy a self-centered corporate fuck?- unknown girl at a party
if you don't want to shove it down their throat, then push it up their ass. our Manager Lope
(in response to all the guys I've dated in the past year and a half) For the love of god woman. If you were still at UT (Univ. of Tenn.) your name would be painted on that rock in front of Frat row... -Patrick
(Liz)- Dammit my dad pisses me off!
(Me) - why is that?
(Liz)- Because he is forever old.- Liz and I one afternoon
He's not dead, he's metaphysiclly challenged.
my dad's dragging me to the friggin store to help him pick out a palmtop....dammit he's incompetent....call me.....-Tim
You have to have the opportunity to learn to dislike people. -Jacob
I can think of the situation logically, but I am unable to apply logic to the situation. -Liz
I'm not a slut, I just use my time wisely. -person who wishes to remain anonymous
I assure you Julia, I did not buy a push-up bra; those are for small-busted women. If I wore one, I wouldn't be able to see. -Suzanne Sugarbaker from Designing Women
(Peter)- You got a canoli you can stuff in your mouth?
(Chris) - No, you got a menorah you can shove up your ass? - Boiler Room
is life getting better or am I just becoming more delusional? -tori (me)
(Lori)- So, do you collect men like some people collect figurines?
(Me) - Actually, I collect figurines also. - Lori and I at Katz's restaurant
At this point in the conversation, would it be considered rude if I ran away? -Dave NewsRadio
(in reference to waffle cones) Them ho's is badass! -Johnny Alamilla (a.k.a. Wonderboy Johnny)
(in reference to my cousin Kellie and her fiance Michael) Michael is going to wear the pants in the house, but Kellie is going to tell him which ones to wear -My Dad
You know the apocalypse is apon us when the best rapper in the world is white and the best golfer in the world is black. -Chris Rock
Think you have enough piercings in your ears? It looks like you fell down a flight of stairs and landed on a tackle box -my manager-in-training Larry
I'm disappointed. I'd figured ya'll done been ate 'em all by now. -my uncle
I like my food spicy and hot...just like my women. -Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough
Ignorance is not stupidity. It is the lack of knowledge. -Dr. Eric Walther
You only live once. But if you live like me, once is enough. -Frank Sinatra
I don't have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for others. -Daria Morgendorffer
If you don't have the ability to be kind, at least have the decency to be vain. -94.5 the Buzz commercial
oh godammit, you have got to be kidding me. -Eric Cartman
This bird is no more. It has ceased to be! -Monty Python
This poodle is a man's poodle! Wait, isn't that an oxymoron? -Spencer
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. -Timothy Leary
You have to ask yourself, has he been your best friend for 15 years, or was he your best friend 15 years ago? -Wilson from Home Improvement
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. -Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.