Needed
By Bonnie-Chan
Email: hunniebunny@aol.com
Web page:  http://www.sailormoonrose.mirrorz.com 
Today is November 28, 2001

Hey Everyone!  Merry Christmas a bit early!  I have two Christmas stories this year, both of which I wrote in the spring.  The one isn't done yet, and once I edit up the first part, I'll send it out!  This one was also originally incomplete, but I have decided to make it a one shot instead.  Why did I do this?  Because a couple of my friends read it and thought it sounded done.  They were surprised to hear it wasn't!  So I decided that if I want to continue it, I'll make a sequel…but it all depends on whether or not y'all like it!
Shout-outs to Liz and Jen-you guys have supported me so much these long months, I really appreciate it!  To Sere-Chan:  You put up with me, even when I'm sure there are times when you get sick of me!  Thanks for always being there for me…and thanks for looking at that line! ^_~

I have notes on the story at the bottom, don't wanna take anything away from it!

Okay, on with the story!

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     I pulled down on my heavy green jacket, releasing a small avalanche of snow, as I stepped into a local department store.  I quickly picked up the remaining items I needed to finish up my Christmas shopping and hurried to the crowded checkout line, full of last-minute shoppers rushing to finish before the dawn of Christmas, now less than four hours away. 
     It was almost Christmas time, and there I stood in another line, trying to buy that last gift or two.  I grimaced inwardly as I settled down for the imminent wait.  This was what I hated the most about Christmas-the waiting.  Not really in the Christmas mood tonight, all of this waiting was killing me, making my resentment for this overrated holiday fester deeper within me.
     After waiting for what seemed like centuries, the cashier finally turned to the next customer.  I glanced in front of my cart at the customer ahead of me.  Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously, pacing around like little boys do and in his hands he held a pair of shoes.  His clothes were worn and old, and he was dirty from head to toe. 
	The cashier finally turned to the small boy, who was clutching onto a pair of flowery-pink slippers for dear life.  He handed the slippers to the cashier, and I noticed for the first time that he wore no coat, only a ratty old blue sweater and a faded pair of jeans that seemed to have been washed one time too many, as they came up above his ankles.  His once-white socks sagged down towards his shoes, which were coated in dirt and had a toe poking out at the top of the left shoe.  
     Finally, the cashier turned to him, and when it came his time to pay, I couldn't believe what I heard him say.    He spoke softly yet strongly, his voice not wavering once as he smiled happily and looked the clerk in the face.  
     "Sir, I wanna buy these shoes, for my mama, please.  It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size."  He shifted from foot to foot as the cashier slowly rang up and bagged his purchase.  "Could you hurry, sir?  Daddy says there's not much time."  Here he frowned sadly and paused before continuing.  "You see, she's been sick for quite a while, and I know these shoes would make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight."
     The cashier announced his total and the boy pulled a crumpled brown bag out of his faded pocket.  He turned it upside down and a stream of pennies poured down onto the counter.
     He counted pennies for what seemed like years, then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here."
     The boy looked at the clerk, stunned.  He searched his pockets frantically, then he turned and he looked at me, unshed tears glimmering in his eyes.  His lip trembled and he sounded unsure for the first time that night.  He said, "Mama made Christmas good at our house, though, most years she just did without.  Tell me, Sir, what am I gonna do?  Somehow I've gotta buy her these Christmas shoes."
     My heart reached out for the boy standing before me, so I quickly pulled out my wallet and I laid the money down, because I just had to help him out.  I smiled down at the boy and said reassuringly,  "Don't worry, your mama can still have her Christmas shoes."
     The boy's face lit up like a light bulb, and I'll never forget the look on his face as he said, "Mama's gonna look so great!"
     The clerk handed back my change and a receipt, then handed the bag to the boy, who thanked me profusely before running back out into the cold winter night.
     The boy's voice repeated itself in my head as I paid for what I had come to get, and I knew his sad face would be forever implanted in my brain, his words optimistic in spite of their serious nature.
     Sir, I wanna buy these shoes, for my mama, please.  It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size.  Could you hurry, sir?  Daddy says there's not much time.  You see, she's been sick for quite a while, and I know these shoes will make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful, if Mama meets Jesus tonight.
     As I walked out of the store, idly swinging my bag back and forth as I walked, I came to an epiphany.  I knew I'd caught a glimpse of Heaven as he thanked me and ran out, and  I knew that God had sent that little boy to remind me what Christmas is all about.
     This boy, so unselfish and caring, knew his mother was dying and wanted to make her last Christmas memorable.  He would have spent his entire savings just so that his mother could be happy for a little longer, and look her best to go meet Jesus in Heaven.  Here I was, running through the joys of preparing for Christmas like they were a chore, and a little boy comes along and sheds a light on me, forcing me to re-analyze myself and re-discover the true meaning of Christmas!
     I looked around me in wonder, seeing my surroundings with unveiled eyes and immersing myself in the beauty of nature that I had never before stopped to appreciate as I slowly walked home, the boy's haunting plea echoing continuously in my mind.
     Sir, I wanna buy these shoes, for my mama, please.  It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size.  Could you hurry, sir?  Daddy says there's not much time.  You see, she's been sick for quite a while, and I know these shoes will make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful, if Mama meets Jesus tonight. 
....I want her to look beautiful, if Mama meets Jesus tonight....
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     "Hi, Andrew!"
     I looked up as a petite girl with dirty-blond hair styled into two pigtails that streamed down from two buns on top of her head appeared beside me and sat down, staring raptly at the golden-haired boy standing before her.
     The boy smiled, showing off his perfect white teeth, and quickly slid a steaming cup of hot chocolate before her.  "Hi, Serena!  How was your Christmas?"
     "It was alright.  We just did some family stuff and opened presents.  How about you?"
     "I pretty much did the same thing you did, although I also had some friends stop over to visit.  For the past two days, I've been helping my dad and sister clean up the mess we created-it still looks like a bomb exploded!
     The girl giggled lightly.  "Sounds like fun."
     "Oh, yes, it's been a thrill a minute." He turned to me and eyed my empty cup.  "Do you want another cup of coffee, Darien?"
     His smile was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile back.  When he turned around to make my coffee, I turned toward the girl sitting beside me.  
     "So, Odango, in case you haven't realized, it's the dead of winter, yet you're still dress as though it were summer."  I glanced appraisingly at her school uniform, at her white blouse which had worked its way out of her short blue skirt, and at her red necktie which hung haphazardly from her collar, desperately in need of being re-tied.  "You should probably go into the bathroom and freshen up, your clothes got rumpled when you ran over here at the speed of light."
     "Gee, Darien, thanks for the advice."  She lifted her mug of hot chocolate to her lips and drank deeply.
     I shook my head in amusement and took pity on the girl, deciding not to tease her for the remainder of the afternoon, no matter how hard this task would prove to be.  "So, Serena, you had a nice Christmas?"
     She looked at me strangely, suspicion glinting in her eyes, before shrugging her shoulders.  "Yeah, it was alright.  I basically spent the day with my family.  It was really nice." She tilted her head towards me.  "How about you, Darien?  Did you have a nice holiday?"
     I paused thoughtfully before answering, taking time to formulate what I wanted to say.  "It was very…interesting, to say the least.  I realized a lot of things and got to know myself a little better.  I went to visit Andrew for awhile, but for the most part I just sat at home and reflected on things." I smiled sardonically.  "That sounds pretty dumb to you, doesn't it?"
     "No, Darien, not at all.  It makes perfect sense.  Once in a while we find ourselves having a moment of clarity, and it forces us to re-evaluate anything and everything we've ever believed in."
     I stared at her, stunned.  "That's exactly it.  I just couldn't find the words to express what I wanted to say.  It's almost as though you read my mind."
     She smiled ruefully.  "Maybe I just understand what you're talking about."
     The arcade's door chimes tinkled and I glanced towards the door out of habit before turning back to Serena.  A moment later, I was staring at the door again as a small boy wearing a faded blue knit hat walked up to the counter.  I instantly recognized him to be the boy I had bumped into on Christmas Eve, only two days ago.
     "Hey, Squirt, I haven't seen you in awhile!  Do you want a nice, warm drink?"
     The boy smiled up at Andrew and nodded his head.  "Alright, thank you."
     "No problem, Kiddo.  How does Andrew's Super-Special Hot Cocoa sound?  Good?"
The boy nodded again, then turned and looked at the girl sitting to his left.  "Hey, Serena.  Can I sit with you?"
	"Sure, Squirt, hop on."  She smiled softly down at the boy and pulled him onto her lap.  "So, how are things at home?"
	"Mama's resting again, and Daddy won't let me in to see her."
	 Serena frowned sadly and ruffled the boy's hair, causing him to squirm to the side and come face to face with me.
 	I watched as his eyes widened in recognition.  He tugged on Serena's shirt, and when she bent her head, whispered loudly, "It's him, Serena!  It's the nice man who bought those shoes for Mama!"
	Serena blinked, startled, and looked towards where the boy was pointing.  Her eyes widened when she saw that he was pointing right at me.  "Darien bought your slippers for Mama, Sammy?"
	He nodded enthusiastically and repeated my name, memorizing the sound of it.  "Thank you again, Darien!  Mama liked the shoes very much, didn't she, Serena?"
	She nodded soundlessly, her eyes still fixed upon me, almost as though she'd seen a ghost.
	It was my turn to be startled as I raised my eyes towards Serena's.  "Is this your brother, Serena?"
	My question brought her back to reality, and she slowly nodded her head.  "This is Sammy, he's nine."
	The boy smiled proudly.  "I'm closer to ten though, now that it's almost the New Year!"
	I smiled at the boy's bubbly nature, recognizing it to be much like his big sister's.  "How's your Mama doing, Sammy?"
	The small boy shrugged his shoulders.  "She's still really sick, but I could actually visit her for awhile on Christmas!  Daddy doesn't like me visiting Mama anymore because he says that she needs to rest and get ready to go meet Jesus.  He says she'll be going to visit him really soon.  Mama said that she's happy to be going to see Jesus because He'll take away her pain so that she can be happy again, but she's very sad because she'll miss me and Serena very much.  She shouldn't be sad, though, because Jesus will make her well again so that she can be happy and have fun, and not have to sleep all of the time."  He smiled at me, then turned towards Andrew as a cup of steaming cocoa was set before him.  "Hey, Andrew, do you have any extra tokens today?
	Andrew smiled fondly at the small boy staring up at him with adoring eyes.  "I don't know, Kiddo, let me check."  He burrowed his hands into his white apron and pulled out five golden tokens.  "You're in luck, I do!"  He dropped the coveted prize into Sammy's outstretched hands, and chuckled as he shot off towards the arcade area.
	I tore my eyes from Sammy and looked over at his sister, who was idly stirring her hot chocolate with a coffee stirrer.  "I'm so sorry about your mother, Serena."
	She looked up at me, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears.  "So am I, Darien, so am I.  I think that the worst part about this is that Sammy doesn't understand that when Mama goes to Heaven to be with Jesus she's never coming back.  He thinks that she's just going to visit and get well, he just doesn't understand!"  She stabbed at her drink in frustration, then reached up and swiped at her face with her left hand, effectively smearing the lone tear trickling down her cheek.
	"I'm so sorry, Serena.  There isn't anything that I can say to make you feel better."  I sighed pensively.  "It's really hard to let go, isn't it?  To know that once your mother is gone, she'll never come back, to know that you'll never see her again once she walks through Heaven's pearly gates."
	She looked into my eyes and our gazes locked, betraying emotions that were normally buried deeply beneath the surface and hidden from view.
	"Yes, Darien, it is.  It really  is."
	"At least you're making the most out of the time you have left with her, Serena.  Focus on that, and remember the good times.  Talk to each other, and don't leave anything left unsaid, unlock every door and make every moment count.  Trust me, you'll regret it later if you don't.  If you come to terms with everything now, you won't be as inconsolable in the future, and time will continue to go on for you instead of running up against a stalemate."
	She nodded slowly.  "You're absolutely right, Darien."  She smiled at me and stood up, taking three dollars out of her pocket and placing them on the counter, ignoring the shake of Andrew's head.  
	"Thank you, Darien.  You've been very kind and helpful to me this afternoon.  I don't know why, but I really appreciate it." She began walking towards her brother, than turned back to Darien.  
	"And, Darien?  Just to let you know, I do trust you, and not just because you told me to."  She smiled again, then walked over to where Sammy stood, pouting at the video game that had eaten his final token as he watched the little man on skis plummet off of a cliff and die, the words Game Over flashing on the now-black screen.
I watched as she put her arm around his shoulders, and together they walked out of the arcade and home to their mother.
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It was almost Christmas time, 
There I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two,
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
 
(and) His clothes were worn and old, 
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say
 
"Sir, I want to buy these shoes, for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"
 
He counted pennies for what seemed like years,
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically,
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said, "Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I gonna do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes"
 
So I laid the money down,
I just had to help him out 
And I'll never forget the look on his face, when he said,
"Mama's gonna look so great!"
 
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
  
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me what Christmas is all about
 
"Sir, I want to buy these shoes, for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"
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Disclaimer:  I'm a Moonie Girl, in Naoko's world…Imagination, life is your creation!........Sorry, couldn't help myself! ::giggle:: So, Sailor Moon isn't mine…uh…neither is Aqua's song "Barbie Girl," which I just mutilated for my disclaimer ^_^…..and NEWSONG's "Christmas Shoes" doesn't belong to me, either!

Okay, AN time!  If you didn't hear this song last year, you MUST go to Kazaa or Napster, or MP3, or whatever music source you use and download it!  It is so sad and sweet, I LOVE it!  I got this idea in the spring, and wrote it down, delving into the song.  I hope it came out alright!  I know the dialogue is a bit stunted in spots, but it can't be helped.
I actually never saw a songfic quite like this before, so maybe it's unique…but probably not…and if it is unique, there will be more soon!  Incorporating music into dialogue, who'd have thought?
    So, I hope you liked it!  Depending on how much you did or didn't like it, I may or may not continue it in a sequel!  So tell me what you think!

    And yes, I KNOW that my title is bad!  Aren't they always?  But I just COULDN'T call it "Christmas Shoes," I have this thing with naming a story after a song you use ::shrugs::  If you can think of a better one, tell me and I'll change it, and put you in my notes! ^_^
    And look out for my other Christmas fic, coming soon to a webpage near you! ^_^
~Bonnie~
    PS: um, the o<:) is supposed to be a Santa, lol!~