Well, are you enjoying? ^_^ I know I am! I know I said I was partial to the last volume, but you know what? This was is beginning to grow on me as well. ^_~ I guess I’m just fickle that way. Anyway, thankie-poo to Sailor Elysia and Sidnei, my editors, who I often feel I am taking for granted. *sighs* However, I wouldn’t feel that way if they would actually write more, and I could help THEM.....But, c’est la vie.....^_^ Standard disclaimers apply. I don’t own SM, but I do have a claim on this story. More at the bottom! slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5870/femmey.html ICQ# - 3329922 **************************** Love Through Time ~ A Serena And Darien Saga Volume 2, Chapter 2 By Sailor Europa “Mother, you know how I hate pink.....” I couldn’t help the whining in my voice as my mother fitted a pale pink gown over my slim figure. She held a few ribbons and pins in her mouth, and she threw me a few annoyed glares. I LOATHED pink, and this was the last dress I ever would have picked to wear to the party.... “Serene, you know I don’t have time to make you a new dress. I have to alter this one if you even want to go to this dance...” I huffed and crossed my arms over my shoulders. “We only have two days.” She sighed. “Why you ever decided to push this on me 48 hours before the actual event, I’ll never know...” “Darien talked me into it....” I muttered, a little ashamed that I had let him push me into going alone. I seriously had no idea why I was going, but the idea of him and Suzanne alone, kept my interest in the dance piqued. I sighed as she attached more pins to the dress, muttering a few measurements as she went along. I wished I wasn’t going…..God, I wished he wasn’t going….. “Honey, why do let him talk you into such things? You don’t sound too excited about the whole thing.” She gave me a curious look and I gave a pathetic whimper and jumped off the ottoman. “I’m not sure, mother.” I said dejectedly, throwing my head back. She shook her head and a little smile began to appear on her face. “But he’s taking….Suzanne….” I practically spit her name out, my lips curling in distaste. She tsked at me and added a little laugh for good measure. “And you don’t like this young woman?” She asked. I raised an eyebrow. “Suzanne? She’s….she’s…not right for him.” I sighed, my mind still unable to even understand these feelings, let alone explain them to my mother. She shook her head again, still laughing merrily. “Serene, don’t you think you should let Darien decide who’s right for him?” She asked pointedly. I scowled. “Not if he’s going to show such poor taste.” I answered disdainfully. She gave a full chuckle. “I do believe you’re jealous!” She giggled happily to herself. I whirled around, the loose fabric curling around my ankles. I glared angrily at my all too joyous mother. “What? JEALOUS?” My mind could hardly think the words before I sputtered them out. My eyes wide, I stared shamelessly at her. “Serene, it’s all right if you are.” She shrugged absently. “His mother and I always knew it would happen someday.” My jaw came undone and I just gazed all agape and bewildered. When was this decided? “You what?” I barely got out. I let my mind wander back to my head and I shook my skull, trying desperately to relieve myself of the burden. “Well, you both were wrong!” She continued to laugh. “Oh, Serene, don’t be so defensive! It’s all right!” I spun around on my heel and trotted off upstairs, not wanting to listen to the grating voice any more. I could barely make out the muffled apologies she had begun to throw before as I slammed the door to my room violently, and practically ripped the dress off of me. “The nerve! How can they even suggest such a thing? I mean, me and Darien? Darien and I? Who are they kidding?” “It’s so insane….” I muttered to deaf room, a tiny little chuckle punctuating the thought, adding a finality to it. I shook my head, ignoring all the tiny little voices that seemed to be running rampant. “I will not even entertain the idea!” My head bobbed quickly at this, my eyes set in a determined line. “I will go to that dance. ALONE. If only to prove I can do this.” I muttered to myself, glancing at the floor in disgust at my dress, now in a heap in the corner. “Now if only I could find a dress….” ***** “Mother, I will be fine….” I said, exasperated, as my mother began a few last minute tailoring touches, pulling down the hem and yanking the bust line up. I sighed in annoyance as she tried in vain to reveal as little as she possibly could of me. I pulled away and gave her a business look and she smiled sheepishly. “Oh Serene, I know. I just want you to have a good time, that’s all. You haven’t been to a party before, and I don’t want you to look too….” I exhaled sharply and she glared at me. “No one will think any less of me, mother, I promise.” I gave her a warm, toothy smile and she laughed, ashamed. “I know, I know…..” She put a loving arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. “I guess it’s just a little hard to see your own daughter grow up right before your own eyes….” Her eyes became misty and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. You’d think she would have noticed my maturing a year ago, when it actually happened…. “I’m not leaving for good. I’ll be back by midnight.” I said sarcastically and she smirked back at me. After our dispute over the dress she had chosen, we managed to trade frocks with a family friend. Now totally satisfied with the deep blue, satin gown, fitted perfectly over my frame, I was only waiting for my carriage to come. I never would have admitted it to my mother, but the thought of arriving at the party alone, and unescorted seemed to be catching up with me. Had she not gone to so much trouble for me, I probably would have backed out by now, but she was so proud of me and I knew I wouldn’t be able to break her heart, not now. So I faked a brave smile in front of her and hoped that the thick petticoats muffled my horribly knocking knees. ***** “Oh…..why am I doing this again?” I asked myself as I bit my lip anxiously and stepped out from the carriage. Peers I recognized mingled around me, but at the time I only saw strangers. I felt so completely out of place at that moment, and as I watched the carriage trot away I wanted desperately to take off after it and beg the driver to take me back home. But instead I turned a confident air and sucked in a brave breath as I took one small step towards the doors. My heart throbbed painfully in my chest and I blinked in confusion. I didn’t want to enter, oh, I just wanted to leave…. But I stayed. I took slow, simple breaths, trying to keep my nerves in check, all in vain. I tried to keep my head high, but all I wanted to do was stare aimlessly at my feet as I trudged uphill towards the entrance. “Come on Serene, you’ve done much worse, this is nothing.” I tried to convince myself, but I just whimpered more at the thought of actually going inside. Alone. “You don’t want Darien, or more distinctly, Suzanne, to see you like this, do you?” My head shot up and I knew I had caught myself. There was absolutely no way I would let them see me this way….I looked back anxiously at the lake behind me as I paused just a few hundred feet from the huge double doors, where people were already milling inside. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst, but wanting to only expect the best. I gave my brightest, most lit smile at the help who held the doors as I stepped cautiously onto the marble tiles that floored the entryway. I gazed onward to the dance floor, and even farther where the food had been lain on four large, long tables. The walls were adorned with lace and silk curtains, and lead the eye to the humongous crystal chandeliers hung effortlessly from the vaulted ceilings. I gave a few sidelong glances around me, hoping against hope that Darien had already arrived. And still hoping Suzanne had had a fatal accident and prevented him from bringing anyone. I sighed dejectedly, knowing it was all I could do to hope. Besides, I don’t think you can ruin a mind that was never there to begin with. Not knowing where to go or who to talk to, I wandered about the place aimlessly, my feet placing themselves effortlessly onto the floor, each step not audible amongst incessant talking and laughing that only seemed to remind me of how alone I really was at that point. I sighed, my mind drifting back to it’s previous topic of why I ever came that night….. That’s when I spotted them. I almost didn’t believe my own eyes when I caught his dark hair, now slicked back over his forehead, instead of hanging all askew over his eyes. He was fitted in a classic black tuxedo, white trim under an achingly white vest, with the cape still hung loosely over it, making me assume they’d just arrived a short while ago. I didn’t even notice her, or what she wore. I wasn’t even sure she was with him, all I could do was stare, my watery blue eyes piercing holes into his body. He laughed, oblivious to the spying friend. I couldn’t look away, I had never seen him in such attire. I began to refer to the other day, watching his taught arm as he chucked the stone into the very same lake that now stood but a half a mile away. I had then noticed the physical change, and it seemed as if he had undergone yet another transformation. This was not the young man who used to chase me around the trees in his yard, or even the one who had just laughed at me a few months ago as I modeled a new gown. No, this wasn’t the Darien I was used to, or even the one I had talked to yesterday…..But it wouldn’t be very hard to get used to this new one. He was dashing and handsome and…… He was still Darien. The one who had insulted me, and degraded me out by the lake, not accepting that I was allowed to change my ideals. I frowned, the feelings from a few seconds ago vanished before they had even been realized. I licked my lips absently as I pulled my head up, my steps growing quicker as I made my way through the sea of people to where they stood. He didn’t even see me coming, and I almost felt a pang of envy (although I would never had admitted it to myself…) as he gazed adoringly at Suzanne, who had now come into view, hanging on her every word, a ridiculous smile plastered on his face. I fought back a scream of annoyance as I cleared my throat once I had appeared at his side. “Ser!” His eyes were torn, eventually, from the bubbling brunette, and met mine. He smiled happily for a second, a little bit overjoyed before his gaze traveled slightly downward….and I lost him. His eyes were wide in shock and his jaw was open shamelessly as a confused look crossed his face. His eyes roved around my body, and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. Now I really felt like I shouldn’t have been there....He eventually snapped out of his surprised state and he gave me a bright smile, easing my nerves slightly, although I could feel the muscles in my arm still tightened each time he stole a glance at Suzanne. “I’m glad you decided to come.” He managed to get out before turning back to his date. I raised a perturbed eyebrow and threw an incredulous glance towards him, my blood boiling as he resumed his ‘deep’ conversation with Suzanne. I crossed my arms and exhaled a huff of displeasure, my mind referring to fight we had had not 10 days ago. God, I shouldn’t have come....I should have stayed at him with mother, eating my heart out. That would be much more fulfilling.... “I’m not so sure now....” I mumbled as I leaned back against the wall, my head creasing in frustration. I sighed loudly, apparently catching Darien off guard and he turned around and gave me a curious look. “You say something, Ser?” I looked up and gave a small blush, all of a sudden my mind drawing a blank for words. I gave an embarrassed smile and shook my head, not wanting to incriminate myself anymore. He got slightly concerned, momentarily abandoning his partner as he put a hand on my shoulder. I almost recoiled from the touch as he looked me right in the eyes. “Are you all right? You’re kinda quite.” I almost scoffed a negative in his face. Did he really expect me just to jump into the conversation? Like I was that anxious to talk to that...that harpy? “I guess I’m a little nervous, that’s all.” I waved a dismissive hand at him. ”I’ll be fine.” I gave a brave smile and he seemed satisfied with this. The band started up a new song and he got a malicious grin on his face. He grabbed my left arm, yanking at my right hand as he yanked me closer to him. “Ms. Patrick, may I have this dance?” My eyes grew wide and I immediately shook my head fiercely, throwing him negative, frantic looks. He just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, amused at my fear. He laughed happily as I tried, in vain of course, to wrestle my hand away from him, but his grip just tightened and he just pulled me farther onto the floor. He threw a quick, apologetic wave to Suzanne, whom I couldn’t see, but I imagine she wasn’t pleased.... “Darien, you will pay for this....” I muttered miserably, only causing more chuckles and giggles to erupt from him. I stared stiffly over his shoulder, cursing under my breath at my so called best friend. I frowned openly, and I could only imagine the blissful smile he got on his face from annoying me so thoroughly. I tightened my back and legs, trying to make it that much harder for him to humiliate me like this. He sighed unhappily and I felt him squeeze my side in comfort and I looked up in surprise to find him smiling contentedly at me. “Relax.” He whispered as he bent down next to my ear. The warm sensation of his breath over my skin made me shiver and I had to stop myself from blushing at the thought of being this close to him. If I could just breathe.... “I figured you should have at least one dance tonight....” He gave me his signature lop sided grin and I immediately frowned and scowled back at him. He just laughed in reply. I guess I never realized, although I’m not sure how I would have known, but he was a deceptively good dancer. I grew dizzy as he spun us both around the floor and I could barely catch my breathe when he dropped me over his knee in an over-dramatic dip, giving me a devil may care glance and wink as he brought me up. I groaned at his overly suave act, but still felt my heart race all the same. It was all I could do to keep my eyes on his broad shoulder, and my hand on his back, as I found my fingers just aching to touch the crisp, well fitted tuxedo he was molded in. Everything seemed to be going all too fast for me, and I really wanted to just leave, forget I ever came, and forget everything that had happened. And yet there was that other part of me that ached to just stay put, in the exact position I was in now. Blended so well with him, everything seeming so whole. I wasn’t even sure what it was, but I liked it. A lot. Oh, in the back of my mind I had realized it a long time ago. But as much as I screamed to him about it, I didn’t even want to admit things had changed, or that I had even changed. But I was the biggest change of all. My mind, along with my body, had matured, and my heart had foolishly followed along. But it was getting harder and harder to fight, and the battle seemed about to be won..... And the song ended. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I had to pry my body from his as he gave me that melting smile and let the grip on my waist slip. He let go and I ripped my unforgiving arms from his form, the tingling sensation amazingly staying as I walked numbly back to the side. He did a low bow and smiled at me. Not the smirk he usually reserved from me, but a genuine, bright, alarmingly handsome smile, complete with eye contact and the soft thump of my heart in reply. And everything snapped into place. I barely heard the previous song end, and a slower, intense melody start up as he easily let go of me and grabbed hold of Suzanne, dragging her in the direction we had just come from. My eyes narrowed angrily, blood rising fast to cheeks as she giggled, a high pitched squeal as he pulled her close. Mercifully, I closed my eyes, biting my lip in agony as my mind replayed the scene over and over, the cruel irony ripping through me even though I saw nothing. I involuntarily opened my eyes moments later, the happy couple the first thing I saw. Darien didn’t give Suzanne that care free look, but gazed lovingly at her and she only mirrored the look perfectly, the two seemingly off in a world all their own. My face contorted maniacally, nothing making sense to me. Darien, his actions, even my own feelings were all a blur as I scrambled frantically to collect them in a sensible way, anyway but what seemed painfully obvious now. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to. I whimpered, my head ducking down, disgusted with myself. I swallowed angrily and barely felt my feet split violently, taking me out the back doors, and into the night. ***** I padded swiftly down the steep, grassy slope, my arms flailing about, my head bobbing uncontrollably. I felt tears sting my eyes and I fearfully pushed them back. I wasn’t going to cry, not about this, not while I’m here. I wouldn’t fall apart, not over Darien. I watched the slick black waters of the lake come closer and closer and I paused to catch my slow, raspy breaths by the edge, my feet just inches from the shores. I sucked in the cold, crisp air, my mind hardly able to grasp enough. My face steadied after a few moments, and I could feel my mind weep in response to the nights events, and I forced the wetness that had covered my eyes not to fall. What had happened? “Oh God.....” I whispered into the overwhelming, dark atmosphere as I crossed my arms as I shivered in the breeze. I gulped, my lip quivering like mad. “Mother was right......Why hadn’t I seen it before?” I muttered softly to myself. I grew defiant as the coolness offered no answers. “WHY?!” I screamed, my lungs and throat burning as the word enveloped the silence around me. I stopped, awaiting an answer, but none replying. “What in God’s name happened to me?” I thought back to my dance with him and felt goose pimples rise on my flesh at the remembrance of being so close to him, and the sensation that had covered my consciousness. “More importantly, what happened to him?” I almost laughed, despite my despair, but I couldn’t manage such a jovial move. I swallowed a bitter taste that had risen, a sneer rising onto my face. “Why hadn’t I realized, why hadn’t I known.....” I asked again, only in vain. I stomped angrily as the night remained vigilant in it’s stillness and I closed my eyes again. “When did I fall in love with my best friend?” I sniffled slightly, unable to keep it from surfacing. My anger dissipated then and I let my shoulders fall. I couldn’t deny it anymore, and I felt relieved the confusion had exited my mind, only to be filled with a hollow emptiness and a slow, dull ache that spread throughout my body. My head lowered and I stared at the ground, my feet anxiously kicking at the gravel below me as I repeated my epiphany of a question. “When did I fall in love with Darien?” “Serene?” A mangled gasp escaped my lips as I spun around, only to find a completely surprised Darien standing numbly but a few feet behind me. The expression was whipped from my face as the air was knocked forcefully from my lungs and I could only mumble some inaudible sound, everything ceasing to stop whirling around me. My face crumbled and I started to run, when a hand clamped onto my wrist, my arm piercing in pain yet to register in my mind. I didn’t try to remove it, his fingers unmoving. I threw up a frantic glance, my breath coming shortly, when I caught his eyes. They stared back seriously, their line never budging as we were locked in the moment. My heart could have leapt at the idea, but his deep blue seas were harsh and cold and I felt my muscles stop, everything in me freezing at the icy hold. “Serene, we are friends.” My breathing stopped and I felt my cheeks flare at the humiliation of being caught, being found out, the pain being in that I, myself, had just found out not ten minutes ago. “Nothing less, nothing more.” His eyes gaining a little bit of gentleness at the thought and I saw...pity? Oh God.....sympathy. I sneered, every ounce of me disgusted beyond belief in the situation. Disgusted that I felt this way, disgusted at my actions lately and especially disgusted that after a decade of friendship, sharing emotions and thoughts unabashedly with each other, he could only feel pity for me. Contempt and spite ruling my heart and soul, I wrenched my wrist from him and fled the scene, not wanting to ever return, ever see that look in his sincere blue eyes. I had so many expectations from him, and yes, I loved him, more than anything. But everything shattered, and I knew things would never be the same, no matter what was said or done. I would never, in my entire life, accept his pity, not for the way I feel. I deserved better. ***************************** Can you guess what’s gonna happen next? Huh, can ya’? ^_~ Well, unless you’re one of the lucky few who has read these chapters weeks in advance, or you’re psychic (and if you are, what number am I thinking of? ^_^), you are just going to have to wait another week to find out what happens! Things are going to change drastically, so be prepared! Thanks as always go to my girls Sailor Elysia and Sidnei, who are so sacrificial enough to read these things for days on end when I go on my tangents and don’t stop writing.....Ya’ll are the best! Keep e-mailing me about the story, I really do appreciate it more than anything! Keep reading, and hopefully enjoying! Ja! - Sailor Europa slr_europa@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5870/femmey.html ICQ# - 3329922 (ICQ ME! I need more contacts!)