Author: Sailor Europa
Title: Life Without You, Chapter 6
Rating: PG

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Ohaiyo! :) Well minna, I'm back! I just got back from my annual trip to
Vegas, and first a little report -

The Bellagio: Ooooooh, what _CAN'T_ be said about this hotel? It was
wonderful, beautiful, unique, awe-inspiring, breath taking, gorgeous and
romantic! I spent a good 3 hours collectively in this hotel, and it is
easily the nicest one of the strip! I tell you what, I am the most cynical
teen you will ever meet, but 30 minutes into my time in this hotel, and I
was envying all the couples that were mingling about. Just spend about 10
minutes genuinely soaking in the ambiance of this place, and it will put a
sigh of love into any heart, I guarantee it! The fountains are amazing, and
can not be described in words. You really have to see them to truly
appreciate them. In short, if you go to Vegas, just setting one foot on the
property is like setting foot in the heart of France.

OK, my little endorsement is done. If anyone else has been to Vegas since
the Bellagio has opened, I'd LOVE to know what your impressions of the hotel
are! I, obviously, fell in love with this hotel, and as far as I can tell,
it is as close to France you'll ever get, without actually visiting it.
Anyway, I thought I'd share a little piece of my spring break vacation with
you! OK, few other 'fic endorsements to do - "A Birthday Wish Come True", if
you haven't read it, GO DO IT NOW! (After you read mine, of course...). I
hadn't read any of Sailor Elysia's work before this, but it is one of the
sappiest stories I've read. Which, of course, meant I loved it! :) It's a
purist fic, which makes it all the more enjoyable. OK, the last chapter was
a cliff hanger, and I'm know some of you are dying to find out what happens
(Yeah, all 5 of you....), so without further adieu, here's chapter 6!

Disclaimers - (Insert disclaimer of choice here.....)

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Life Without You
Chapter Six

        This was not happening. No, as if my life hadn't just gotten even
more
stickier, this had to be added to the mess. As hard as I tried, I couldn't
make out the expression on Jared's face, but I knew it couldn't be a happy
one. He had seen Darien leave. He had seen the kiss. And now, the same kiss
that had rocked my very soul, felt more like the kiss of death.
        I was racked more with confusion at the moment, not knowing whether
to wave
him in, and pretend like I didn't know that he knew, or act sheepish and
blush at my actions, or pretend like it didn't matter, like it was an
everyday occurance. I think I can rule out the last one, though. No way in
hell I could convince someone that Darien kissing me was no big deal. It
_was_ a big deal. It wasn't everyday your possible soul mate tells you he's
been in love with you for the past four years. It also wasn't everyday the
guy you happened to be dating at the time, sees this confession. When did my
life turn into a plot line on "The Young and The Restless"?
        After a few tension filled moments, Jared tentatively entered the
room, yet
still lingering by the door in hesitation. I became aware that he was more
unsure in his actions than upset. Maybe I had been over analyzing things,
maybe he hadn't thought too much of the kiss. Then again, it shouldn't
matter what he thought of the kiss, if I was still in love with Darien. Was
I? A few minutes ago I was so sure, now, I hesitated. I thought back to his
pain filled face and my heart lurched. Even the thought of him hurting
caused my heart to jump. But wasn't that to be expected? After our long
history together, it was only natural some feelings be left lingering.
        And yet, it wasn't an after shock of our past. I felt my chest heave
at the
remembrance of our kiss, and I was sure of my feelings once again. It wasn't
going to go away. It hadn't after four years, and I knew, that after a
revelation like this, it was here to stay.
        To stay. It seemed like a long time right then, and I wondered if
Darien
could wait that long without getting scared again. Or if he would even run
this time. If I even took him back. My heart ripped in two directions, and I
realized it wasn't so much I was scared I would get hurt by him again, as it
was revenge. I felt the need to punish him, and I knew that not taking him
back, was the ultimate vengeance. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to
be the kind of person who could forgive and forget, get on with my life as
if it were my last day. But that was impossible. I glanced at Jared's
confused face and I sighed. I felt guilty for kissing Darien, and it was
almost as if I felt like I was cheating on Jared. Which was pretty much
impossible, since we weren't technically together. Maybe that's why he was
hanging back, he wasn't sure where he stood with me. To tell the truth, I
wasn't sure where he stood either. I wasn't even sure where Darien stood, or
even myself for that matter. I was a jumble of pain and confusion, and I
wanted to curl up under my hospital sheets and hibernate until the solution
dawned on me like spring.
        "I brought you flowers." He said simply, finally stepping forward,
and I
noticed the half dozen white roses that he held. Well, at least they weren't
red this time.
        "Thanks." I answered lightly, not meeting his gaze. He set them
silently by
my bedside, and sat down at the chair next to me. He crossed his hands and
took a deep breath.
        "I did see him leave, if that's what you're wondering." He finally
got out,
answering my unspoken question. I wanted to ask if he had seen us kiss, but
I held back.
        "Oh." I couldn't manage much more.
        "I know it's not my place to say anything...." He started. I finally
looked
up with urgency and shook my head.
        "No, please. If you have anything to say about this, tell me." I
gave a
short, forced laugh. "I need all the help with this I can get."
        "I think he's an ass, and he shouldn't have come." Be careful what
you ask
for...... "I don't know where he gets off, trying to play the white knight
now."
        "He wasn't, Jared." I said simply, knowing it didn't explain
anything, or
give any reasons. I knew he wouldn't understand this whole situation, no
matter how well I tried to tell him.
        "I know how he's affecting you lately, and it isn't healthy or
right. I
don't think he's right in his thinking." He took a deep breath. "It took all
my strength not to tell him to back off for good, when he left."
        I took in a shallow breath and bit my lip to keep from screaming.
Who do
these men think they are?
        "That is not your place, Jared." I almost spit out in anger.
        "Serena, you wouldn't tell him to step off. And right now, someone
needs
to." He answered. That was it.
        "Jared, you have neither the place or the information to go off
telling me
who I need to can from my life." I inhaled deeply. "There is a lot that is
going on right now, that you don't know about. I have a long history with
Darien, and despite what your snap judgements tell you, I will NOT cut him
from my life."
        He was taken aback for a few seconds, and I inhaled deeply as I let
my last
phrases sink in. He sat back, letting out a long frustrated sigh and I let
go a bit, against my better judgement.
        "I appreciate everything you're trying to do for me, Jared....." I
began,
nodding my head to the side, trying to let my guard up a little. He gave a
slight nod in agreement but remained silent. I started again.
        "Me and Darien have a long history together, and despite all he's
put me
through, I can't just tell him to get lost." I took a deep breath. "I'm not
that sure of myself."
        "I'm sorry." He replied simply and I smiled. "I know I don't know
everything there is to know." He looked up and I met his intense gaze. "But
I'd like to, if you would give me a chance." I exhaled inwardly and I only
wished I could tell him everything. It would make it so much easier! Not
much chance he'd ever buy the whole "Prince and Princess from the Moon" bit,
though. Probably think I'm on something, and Dariens' my supplier....Hell,
that's what I'd think.
        We were quiet for a few minutes more before he gave a reluctant sigh
and
began to stand up. I watched him carefully as he gave me a small grin.
        "I just wanted to make sure your OK, and tell you you're the talk of
the
Star." His grin widened. "Susan told everyone you were shot." I laughed in
spite of everything.
        "I'd love to know where she gets her information." I giggled,
suddenly
aware of how much better I felt. It hadn't quite dawned on me, but I noticed
the dull ache in my body was completely gone, and I hoped that meant an
early release from this hell hole. I was wise enough not to hold my breath
though......

*********

        "Yeah, Mina, I've feeling much better." I said into the phone next
to my
bed. I had just arrived home, after 3 fun filled days of staring at the
strange beige stains on the wall in my hospital room.
        "Good." Mina answered happily, pausing as she chose her words
carefully. I
felt the urge to ask her if she actually thinking about what she was gonna
say this time, but I bit it back. No sense opening old wounds. "I talked to
Darien yesterday." I closed my eyes, my hands freezing as I unpacked my
stuff. Damn it, I should have known.
        "And?" I asked simply, sitting down in resignation as I waited.
        "You did the right thing." She said simply, and I knew she was
smiling as
she replied. I let the waiting grin spread across my own face and let a gust
of air escape my body. It was nice to have some reassurance, since nothing I
did seemed to feel right these days.
        "Thanks." I said quietly. "I haven't been too sure of myself
lately."
        "I know you're in pain, and rushing into something would never
help." She
said, matter of factly. I had to wonder where she was getting all this
information, because she certainly didn't sound like the Mina I knew. Maybe
there was a method to her madness, after all. "If you ever want to talk, you
know I'm always here."
        "I know, but right now, I think I need to figure this out for
myself." I
said thankfully. It was true, and I felt a weight begin to settle on my
shoulders, and I knew I had a long road ahead of me. This was going to take
some time, and I only hoped my unstable strength was up to it.
        "Are you going to still see Jared?" She asked. I shook my head to
myself.
        "I don't  know. I sure want to, but I don't think it's fair to lead
him on,
if it doesn't work out in the future. The last thing I want to do is hurt
him." I could hear her agree and she heaved a sigh.
        "I have to jet, I have a show in a few hours. Why don't we go out
for
dinner tonight?" She asked, then added with a laugh. "No indian food this
time." I laughed along and agreed, extremely happy to be back to normal.
Well, whatever normal seemed to be. I was beginning to think my normal was
slightly more abnormal than I ever realized.

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I'm SOOOOOOO sorry this is so short! Like I said, I didn't even START on
this until Tuesday, and I've had a bit of writers block. :| Which, is
actually pretty good, seeing as how my first bout with it, wasn't until the
sixth chapter. :) I just hope it goes away soon. I actually know how I want
the story to end, but I have to get past this down time. Even though it was
one of the more boring chapters, I hope you all will e-mail me and tell me
what you think! I LOOOVE e-mail, so don't be shy! Hope you all enjoy! :)

Michelle Merriman