Aishiteru (G)
By: Usagi Chiba
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As you can tell from the title...this story is *really*
kind of sappy, so if you don't like that kind of stuff,
be afraid...be very afraid.
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My eyes are sore from crying, but this time, I'm not
bitter, or unhappy.  My heart hurts, but I've got everything
I could ever wish for, including my wonderful Mamo-chan.
My head is spinning in circles, I feel faint and dizzy, but
I'm not sick, I felt fine an hour ago.  My mind tells me I'm
selfish, why can't I be happy, be glad?  I am happy, I
tell it, but am I really?  My Mamo-chan is finally going
to be able to live up to his dream, yet he's willing to give
that all up, for me.  I know I can't let him do that, but a
part of me wants to hold on to him, and never let him go.
My emotions are all mixed up, and I don't know what I can
do.  What can I do?

Let your heart decide.

Where have I heard that phrase before?  Everyone's said
that to me over and over, and I know they're right.  But
how will I know?  How will I know what's best for both me,
and him?

I avoid his gaze as well as I can the whole car trip.  We ride
in complete silence, except for his radio, a gentle tune playing.
As we arrived at the Narita airport, Mamoru slowly inches his
hand on mine, whispering, "Usako...."  I try not to look at him,
afraid that he'll see how unsteady I really am.  I don't want him
to worry. After all, this is his dream, and a once in a lifetime
opportunity.  If I made him miss this...I would never forgive myself.
Never.

Weakly, I glance up at him, with all the confidence I've got.
Instantly, his blue eyes flash, concerned,"Usako..daijobu?"  I nod
slowly, tears unconsciously running down my face, "Mamo-chan?"
His eyes stay on me, telling me that everything would be alright.
"Usako...don't cry."  Stroking my hair gently, he whispered, "Usako,
Usako.  Shh...what's wrong?" I felt myself trembling, and I can't
breathe.  Panting, I whisper, "Mamo-chan...when you leave...I'm..so
scared..."
More burning tears fall from my eyes, and I whisper out, "Scared
that you'll see so many others...smarter than me...prettier than me.."
Before I can continue, Mamoru immediately pulls me closer, "Is
that what you've been worried about?  Usako...you are perfect.
No one can ever compare to you, love."  Kissing my cheek gently,
he whispers again, "I'll think of you every second, I promise."

I look up at him again, his sincere, loving gaze warms my heart.
"Promise?" I ask, softly.  He repeats, "I promise.  Before I go..."
He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small, plain box.
"I love you, Usako.  Open it." My trembling hands gently open his
gift, and my eyes widen as I see the sparkling jewel within, a
beautiful, diamond ring winks back at me.  "When I come back."
He whispers, then kisses me again.  I hug him tightly, as if I'll never
let him go, tears decorating my eyes.  "Mamo-chan...I'll miss you."
I whisper.  He hugs me back, whispering, "I'll miss you, too, Usako.
Write me lots of letters." I smile, "I will, every night."  He smiles back,
"And call me."  I reply, "Every day."  Giving me one last kiss,
Mamoru looks at me wistfully, then whispers, "Aishiteru."

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This was inspired by manga 16, if you don't have it, I really
suggest getting it.  Any comments go to N64Serena@aol.com,
I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  That's about it for now.
'til next time.

~*Usagi Chiba