This is a list of the humourous quotes collected while I'm around
"If I got pregnant or got someone pregnant..."-Ali Sampson
"I think my sperm is special."-Ali Sampson
"I'll pay for this with my bra."-Me
"But Ali, it's Sarah's penis, not yours."-Me
"I need a penis."-Ali Sampson
"This penis will taste so good."-Dave MacKenzie
"That guy needs a sacumcision."-Dave MacKenzie
"We're in John and Dave."-Ali Sampson
"Your shaft has to go in my hole."-Dr. Dave Bonham, ME1003 professor
"I will allow my shaft to come to such a size where it will move around freely inside the hole."-Dr. Dave Bonham, ME1003 professor
"Oatmeal's pretty good at hugging, but I have to feed my fish."-Ali Sampson
"I wanna be a woman."-Bryan Allen
"Who needs women when you have chocolate zuccini loaf?"-Bryan Allen
"How do you get on the easy one?"-Janis Sampson (Ali's 12 year old sister)
"Smack him good! Smack him! Smack him!"-Dave MacKenzie
"He's banging his throwing stick."-Dave MacKenzie
"Ali's wrists are getting sore from all the smacking."-Me
"Okay Ali. I'll try to satisfy you better next time."-Me
"Yes Ali. I want to get in your sister's pants."-Dave MacKenzie
"I can only beat you off so much."-Dave MacKenzie
"Oh, geez. I'm gonna knock myself up at least once today."Annette Gillis
"We have to beat of Krang and Shredder NOW!!!"-Dave MacKenzie
"Dave you're sucking but you do it well."-Me
"We're shit fucked. I hate being shit fucked."-Dave MacKenzie
"I saw you try to do it the first time except there was that one guy who really wanted to get at me."-Me
"If I had no clothes on, I'd feel naked."-Ali Sampson
"Her bum is on his head."-Ali Sampson
"It's really fun, even though her bum is a cushion."-Ali Sampson
"The thought of sparky running down the driveway to greet you by humping your leg, and you greeting it with much the same action is not all that bad."-Dave MacKenzie
"The farm that sleeps together sticks together."-Dave MacKenzie
"It will be a sticky situation, but a good kind of sticky."-Dave MacKenzie
"If mass orgies with animals increase, productivity will increase."-Craig (a british guy in debating).
"If you don't invite Daisy the cow into bed with you, she will give you the same milking rate in the morning."-Craig
"Woof means no, as does meow, but it can also mean yes."-Craig
"If a guy came up to me wagging his tail, tongue hanging out, drooling on me, humping my leg, chances are he wants to have sex with me."-Ali Sampson
"What makes residence life good? Why, Friday night orgies of course."-Ali Sampson
"I believe the PM wants to have this bill passed so he can marry his girlfriend."-John LaRusic
"The farmers enjoy taking care of their animals like parents enjoy taking care of their children."-John LaRusic
"Just because a mute man can't say yes or no doesn't mean you can pull down his pants and give him a handjob."-John LaRusic
"The farm that sleeps together sticks together. I've already proved that."-John LaRusic
"If the LO wants to say my girlfriend is like a wild animal, I'll let him."-Dave MacKenzie
"Red Rover, Red Rover, it's time to roll over."-Dave MacKenzie
"The government has no place in the bedroom, or the barnyard, as the case may be."-Ali Sampson
"Prostitutes will be at a lower cost to Johns!"-Dave MacKenzie
"With prostitution legalized, Steve's Mom can get the pogey if she can't get anything else."-Dave MacKenzie
"Because I need it as bas as you, and, believe me, Mr. Speaker, I know how badly you need it..."-Dave MacKenzie
"It is evident that the government went to the Dolly Parton school of economics."-Craig
"The government's fourth point only illustrates that they are muppets."-Craig
"What do you do for work? I'm a secretary. I'm an electrical engineer. Well, I'm a prostitute."-Eddie Larusic
"I'm sorry, you have crabs. I can't allow you to continue working."-Eddie
"I wanna play!"-Ali Sampson
"The government wants this bill passed so they can get in on the action."-Ali Sampson
"Have you ever seen an ex-miner or steelworker?"-Ali Sampson "Digging tunnels like Charles Bronson in 'The Great Escape'."-Dave MacKenzie
"Nomatter how hard the government tries, they will never get rid of Steve's Mom."-Ali Sampson
"Look at the dollar store. You get everything for a dollar. Just like these cheap skanks."-Ali Sampson
"The government talks about retraining programs. Retraining for what? IT'S SEX!!"-Ali Sampson
"If prostitution is legalized, the sex just won't be as fun."-Ali Sampson
"We feel that you should have to earn sex, not just buy it. Although the government would rather it the other way, because they can't earn it, it just doesn't work that way."-Ali Sampson
"Think of 'take your kids to work day,' Mr. Speaker. Sex Ed at its finest."-Dave MacKenzie
"If the fishermen can't get work, they can take their fishnets and make them into fishnets."-Dave MacKenzie
"I don't really scream Alison to myself!"-Ali Sampson