by Lindsay E. White
Captain Annoyance and Captain Random are stranded on a deserted island due to unfortunate events. Captain Random is attempting to pour out his soul.
CA: Man this is really not amusing, sitting here alone on this island all day. Do you ever think people will find us?
CR: Maybe the people who find us will bring cake. (Captain Random begins to drool)
CA: I dont get the meaning of life, it seems to never go acceptably for me, the concequences of my actions always seem to sneak up on me at my weakest points. I think I might be depressed.
CR: Prozac sounds like a snack; I want a snack. Crackers! I could really use some crackers!
CA: I feel like sometimes my heart is empty, without feelings, except for love. I think it might be because when I was younger, I was neglect-
CR: Know what goes good on crackers? What does go good on crackers?
CA: Random, are you even listening to me? I'm trying to tell you my life story right now! I feel like sometimes you dont even care about anything I ever say to you. I need to feel important, and loved and wanted! (starts to cry)
CR: Want some Kleenex? Did you know that Kleenex isnt really what its called? Its actually Tissue Paper, Kleenex is a company. I always wanted to be president of a Kleenex department, or a janitor (thinks hard)
CA: Why do I care about Kleenex? You annoy me to extreme extents sometimes, I'm supposed to me the annoying one! (changes sunject) We need to try and get in contact with the boss, he'll get us off the island. Do you have your emergency phone?
CR: (sings) Ring ring ring ring ring ring Banana Phone! doo doo doo doo
CA: You're worthless! (a single tear falls from his eye) thats what my father used to tell me when I was a kid, I almost ended my life right then and there, I had never felt more alo-
CR: (sings even louder to tune out Captain Annoyance)
CA: why do I even try with you? (sighs)
CR: (thinks silently: God hes annoying! I hate islands, islands...is land...How do they float on water?)