Alan:"Don't get married."
Shawn: "I was so cool in the old school! They had no right to pass me. I am an IDIOT."
Eric: "That's my new car!"
Mr. Feeny: "May I assume it moves?"
Eric:"Sure. Like the wind. Especially downhill...oh, did you want me to move it?!"
Mr. Feeny:"Well, we certainly can't depend on anyone STEALING it."
Cory: "That girl...she wrote seven numbers on my hand! What could that possibly mean?"
Shawn:"It means 'call her'".
Cory: "Shawn, how can I call her if I don't even have her phon- ohhhhhhhh."
Cory:"Last night we talked on the phone for like two hours. That beats my previous time with a girl by like...two hours."
Shawn:"I should've been more sensitive to our female brothers."
Shawn: "There's no room for name-calling in this campaign, you four-eyed frog-voiced geek!."
Shawn: Where do you think we stand?
Cory: We're lowly, 7th grade sewer scum who name rats after ourselves to feel important.
Shawn: And how do you feel about this?
Cory: Better than the guys with no rats.
Joey: That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'll be laughing at that one for years and years. I'll probably be telling my grandkids about it, like sixty years from now. Unless of course, if I don't have grandkids, and then I suppose I'll have to tell some strange kids in a park. And the cops'll come and say, "Hey, you in the raincoat..."
Harley: Shut up.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Eric: Y'know something, dad? I'm gonna be okay. I don't need college. I'm going to do very well in the outside world relying on my street smarts and natural instinc- AAAAH! AAAAH! HOT! HOT!"
Amy: What's wrong with our son?
Alan: Oh, he put his hand on the stove.
Amy:: Again?
Eric: AAHH! AHHHHH! AAAAAH!
Amy:: My fault. I left the iron on.
Shawn: He said one thing and he's doin' another. He's being a hypochrondriac.
Shawn: A 12? How do you get a 12?
Mr. Feeny: I don't know. Do you ever open a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. Feeny: A book! Do you ever open a book?
Shawn: What?
Cory: Don't ask me, I got a 16.
Mr. Feeny: Gentlemen, do you ever go home and open a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. Feeny: I WANT YOU TO GO HOME THIS AFTERNOON AND OPEN A BOOK. I don't CARE what you had otherwise planned, I order you- nay, I COMMAND you- go home and open a book!
Mr. Turner: George.
Mr. Feeny: What?!
Mr. Turner: Watch this. Hi, boys! Nice boys.!Nice boys! Fellas, did you hear anything Mr. Feeny just said?
Shawn: No.
Cory: (whispering) He's real mad.
Mr. Turner: (whispering) Do you have any idea why?
Shawn: No! He just started yelling, like a crazy man!
Mr. Feeny: You know...I'd give up on them, but I don't think they'd notice.
Shawn: What?