| 1/7/2003 ^_^ Life was pretty depressing before, but because of this sweet someone thats beyond great and special, Someone with the most incredible smile that brightens up his absolutely mesmerizing eyes....(so what if i'm exagerating, it's true for me)....Its been heaven lately. I hope this heaven will stay for awhile.... I need this heaven. Thru this short time, heaven has opened my eyes to what I haven't seen before. I miss my heaven....=' \ 1/7/2003- 9:50pm LOLZ!! can't you just accept what i say? its just the way it is. i can't explain it, and i dunno if i want to try to. you helped me and that's all there is to it, can't you just accpet it? shishkabobs! |
| Journal......Thinkings.... |
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| 1/11/2003 Hmmm....things have been nice lately. Besides my technique in tkd. I can't believe I suck so much and i'm actually the one that trains. Chen said something about mentality....what kind of mentality am i supposed to have? i try to try. I'm just tired like heck most of the time. Which is my fault....but thats not the point!!!! but yea, tkd is definitely the best. It will always be something that i'm in love with. It just really sucks that all the people that used to go,(*ahh-hmm* Tin, Susie, Jane, Cindy, Larry, Carmen, Yiling....*sigh*) are all gone. I miss how it used to be. The huge family that we used to be. = (. if only we still talked, it wouldn't be so bad. its the fact that some of us don't. what is up with that? But hey new people came in, like the Kims, and some older people came back (Thank Goodness=D) which is great! but its not the same..... I guess life could be worse. I'm so happy for my friends now, if i weren't for you guys i would probably have gone crazy by now! And that sweet person, thank you with all my heart for being here |
| 1/14/2003 AHHH! I can't wait to get out of school! Now if only I had that nice 4.2 to back me up...sigh, oh wells... Nothing interesting, just school and regular stuff. But thanks to this lecture that some people gave to us and the promise that we're going to traing (which i hope will happen sometime soon), there's something to look forward to now. ok SOME PEOPLE, yea you know who i'm talking about, need to get OFF of there lazy couch sitting, tv flipping bum and go to class!!! heheh! but you know i love you all. I miss heaven....I hope this heaven that i'm in doesn't mind spending time with a buncha girlies....=D speaking of which...why didn't heaven want us to go to this concert? |
| 1/15/2003 You ouught to have wings... When you have wings, you simply fly to the sky and make one small hole in the clouds. once you've done that, you step out of the cloud, through that hold and land on the sky. god should be there, waiting for you. once you see him, you can sit down and have a chat with him for as long as you like ~Meeting God, musings by a 5-year old little boy... I wish i was five again. Can you imagine a 5 year old saying this? its like....wow.... I really wonder about this world sometimes. I just realized that i am a really really selfish person....i never thought of me as being selfish...but turthfully i am... that really isn't great to realize....Some of the stories that my parents told me about when they lived in China... i wouldn't even think about doing that. America is really a spoiled country. Mr. Beeken is so right! we're the fatcats of this world! Sighs..... |
| 2/1/2003 CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! WOO HOO!! YAY!!!! HAPPINESS AND GOOD HEALTH AND LOTSA MONEY TO EVERYONE!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!! |
| egh....i needta job....What is up with things these days? It seems like sad stuff going on a lot....The loss of the space shuttle Columbia, and other losses....*sighs* not much time spent with people time should be spent with....and there's gonna be school in two days...and and.....*sighs* but whatevers, the glass NEEDS to be half full! so look on the bright side and just pray, right? *sighs* In less than 90 days i'll be out of high school! i can't believe this! i'm not out and i already miss high school....if only i had the chance to do this all over again.....*sighs* anyway, enugh about this. AHHHHH! COUSINS!!! little ones lolz you gotta love em....but geez, and people think i wanna have kids? but yea, if i do have a boy, i'm naming the son JEDION! i don't care what you all say =P hehe. Nothings been really going on.....just school, tkd....and other more complicated stuff....i promise a more exciting update next time! lolz.... please deal with me for now...LOVE YOU ALLS!!!! 9:30pm: OMGOODNESS! i just remembered i had the strangest dream....the stuff i remember is that. ok, like somehow, we knew that we were going to survive if we stayed there....(don't ask). I mean stay wherever we were. Everyone knew.. We just somehow knew. Nessa and some other dude was dressed like how RJ (for those of you that know him) was on Friday, in the plaid and khaki-ish colors and we were walking around in the streets, for one last stroll.. We knew we were gonna have to go soon, but we ended up at this clothing store. The people that took care of the store had already left, so we were like, YAY FREE STUFF! well i said that. and i started taking all the clothes i liked...like this white shirt and like these pants. But the guy and Nessa were like, they don't think this is right. And i said something like WHO CARES?! and i went to grab some other shirts... and then i realized that i wasn't going to make it to heaven if i did took that stuff...so we left the store and i ended up feeling like a "new" person because i had that realization...it doesn't end yet... Next thing i know, we were boarding this plane, and it was kind of known that it was going to take us some place happy and good and nice and all that so we wouldn't have to die...Inside the plane, it looked like the airport waiting area does, except it was inside the plane. There were red chairs, and some of the back of the chairs were up against the wall of the plane and some were facing where the pilot would be like regular planes...it was strange... and then i'm sitting there and this guy that i supposedly knew sat next to me. He starts talking to me and he makes small talk and we joke around, i don't remember exactly about what. So then he asks me if I have a boyfriend and i make a weird face or something like that. The next scene i remember, he had his arm around me and I had my head on his shoulder. Then this lady next to me says something like "You know there's a huge room in the side of the plane, you guys can go there and talk because some of us are SLEEPING". She was mean! so this guy and I go to the room, and its so beautiful! I think it had a clear ceiling, so you could see the beautiful night sky with stars and stuff. There were huge speakers next to this stereo. It had dressers and shelves and curtains and it was just beautiful. In the middle of the room was this huge bed with silk covers that reach all the way the floor and the bed was HUGE! so was the room for that matter. So he puts on some nice music, and we talk. Then he says something and tries to kiss me...and...i don't remember....then the phone rings and I wake up and find that it's Susie. Can somebody please tell me what the heck is going on with this dream?! it was really....weird...lolz...just wanted to write it down |
| 2/11/2003 Do you ever get that feeling, like when you totally have full faith and belief that something is going to happen, or you just believe in something so much that you would.....give your life...and then you're totally shot down the butt....Have you ever had that feeling? Piece of crud. so does everyone get the feeling that they're fudging downright insignificant or is it just me? its probably just me. but its ok.....All is good in the world like Joshin used to say. =D Anywho, the day was ok. Went to school, goverment was talking about war, and this IDIOTIC DUMB CHICK was just INCREDIBLY STUPID AND DUMB AND I WANTED TO SMACK HER! She's all like "the only reason why i don't want war is gas prices..." GAS PRICES!!! Its not even a valid reason! And its SO SELFISH! i mean if you were like I don't want so many people to die, or My boyfriend might be drafted or something, that's still selfish, but at least it's not TOTALLY STUPID! so yea and then in French, its always gay. LOLZ people were holduing grudges and we were trying to staple things on the chalkboard and guys were gossiping....it was pretty gay..... Mood: ='( Depressed.....*sighs* if only..... |
| ~~~Most of these things are old as you can tell....and a lot of things have changed....but you're welcomed to look around...it'll be updated later but i've got my xanga now, so go check that out if you would like ^-^ ~ 5-27-2003 |