From the northernmost fjord of northernmost San Francisco, comes the mighty..................................................................................................................................
SMEGMACHRIST
It began on the northernmost peak of Oakland, when Baron Von Necricon (guitar/vocals), Lord Bathos (drums/vocals), and �lgar the Horrible and Terrible (1 string bass/vocals) met, and proceeded to join forces on a quest to kill God. They soon realized that would be really really hard, so they decided to just start a band. That band is SMEGMACHRIST.
SMEGMACHRIST proceeded to write and record their first album, in the northernmost, grim and frostbitten Pink Palace studios, in a single infernal hour. From this came the classic northernmost black metal anthems, such as Vegan Emo Sex, Your Opinion Doesn't Count Cause You're a Midget, Satan Likes Ponies, Nitro Are The Kings of Metal, and the grim and frostbitten Egypt Is Metal Trilogy.
This was the last anyone heard of SMEGMACHRIST for many moons.
But then, one grim black evening, SMEGMACHRIST came to the frostbitten conclusion to spread their message of grim black blackness farther into the world by performing their ritual. LIVE.
However, before the grimness could ensue, a grim black metal warrior by the name of Count Zegrinozkicoth stabbed Baron Von Necricon in the ass 47 times in an effort to join the band, as the grim Count found the Baron to be a "trend whoring poseur slut." The Count's actions impressed the rest of the band, and soon was the new frontman.
This change was short lived, however, as Count Zegrinozkicoth was killed by Lord Bathos with a rusty spork. The Lord claimed The Count was a "poseur whore trend slut," and retired from the drums to become the new guitarist/singer.
SMEGMACHRIST recruited a new drummer by the name of Pete the Infernal to fill in for the show. This is the SMEGMACHRIST of the new millenium.
SMEGMACHRIST
