Wheeee! I came to one of those conclusion things today! It's amazing what you can do with only 4 hours of sleep for 6 nights strait while pulling 8 1/2 hour shifts in a warehouse! Whooo! Alright, that aside, I'm tired. Really really tired. And I'm sorry for anything I've done in the past two days that has offended anyone. I didn't mean to, and you know who you are. It will all be made better after this weekend, when I will solve all of my problems by doing two things A) figuring out something important about life and B) sleeping.
    The conclusion I came to today was mostly about the girls/women in my life. I've realized that no matter what I will never be able to date them. They look at me and see good ol' Fred, the guy that no matter how they treat him he will always act the same way towards them. Like the proverbial beaten dog that keeps going back to the same master I continue to try and fail. After all, why should they start a relationship with me when they can get the physical aspects from someone else and the emotional aspects just from being my friend? Damn, I wish I'd realized this sooner, I could have become a hermit. I'm just sick of never having anyone, no one, ever. Something always happens, I say something at the wrong time, I'm too far away, I'm not attractive enough, I'm not successful enough. Well fuck you all. I'm tired of being the guy you all shit on, I'm getting what I want dammit. I fucking deserve this, and you all know it, so who's going to help me and who's staying behind?
    Alright, let's add more, it seems people haven't quite been getting the point behind the rest of that. What I'm saying is that for my entire life, unlike most guys, I've been looking for love, because that's all that matters. Everytime I've ever found someone to love something happens and I can't have them or they just want to be friends. I'm getting tired of hearing that and added to my lack of sleep lately I needed to rant like that. I apologize to anyone who was offended in anyway but it's staying up. It needs to be read. I want one thing out of my life right now and I'm not allowed to have it, and if I keep pushing for it I'll just end up hurting someone a lot, so, if you have any advice on the matter e-mail me. [email protected]