03/04/2001
Every time I
start to feel good, and things start to look up, something happens, and
I end up right back where I started...
I can feel
my soul slowly bleeding to death. It's like this giant wound is in my chest
and nothing can stop it from bleeding. Every now and then someone can manage
to stem the flow for a while(thank you Becky), but eventually it will start
again. I can feel it now, it's like I'm dying on the inside, and it's all
because I expect too much from people. I don't know who is going to think
I'm speaking about them, and right now I don't care. You all tend to take
me for granted, with acceptions for the people who I know will take offense
to that...
Edith: You
don't take me for granted, in fact you have to go through hell every time
you want to do something with me cause of mumsy and dadsy.
Sean, just
cause I know you'll bitch.
Becky, cause
you love me more than anyone else, and I love you more and more each time
I think of you, and every time I talk to you I feel like life is wonderful.
Kim, you're
too busy to take anyone for granted. Love ya, you were wonderful in the
one acts.
Jenny, you
can't take me for granted, I don't think it's possible. Same goes for Crystal,
Liz, Sheyanne, and Kat.
You know
who is left, (unless I missed someone) and I hate feeling like this, cause
of how much I love ya but I can't help but feel... I don't know. I want
to talk about it with you but every time I try, you just dismiss it...
it hurts to feel like this, and it hurts more because of who you are...
I'm sorry... I'm rambling.